A/N: hello all. i haven't forgotten about my other story, i'm just taking a break. i had a few chapter written out on my computer, and then it decided to explode. now i have computer guts all over my office and i haven't taken the time to rewrite the missing chapters. don't worry...i will. HOWEVER, i started this story in class today and decided to write a bit on it first. so, please enjoy this story while you're waiting for the nex to er story.

He looked over the scene that was unfolding before him as if everything was happening in slow motion. The bullets exploded trhough the flesh of the woman who was suddenly standing in front of him, her body shaking as each hunk of lead found refuge deep within her muscles and organs. The group of bounty hunters kept firing into her back. Her eyes: they were huge, full of compassion, love, remorse. 'Tell him...I'm sorry,' she thought as he let her throughts flicker into his mind, a montage of images of his goofy brother doing stupid things. He was so stunned at the outpouring of emotion, at the fact that she had just intervened to save his lfe, that he couldn't even move to catch her as her broken body rushed to meet the hard, dusty ground.

None of this made sense. He was replaying the event again in his mind when he suddenly saw his brother running towards him with a look of sheer horror and desperation etched into his face.

This was all wrong. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

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Three weeks earlier

Knives had been recovering from the wounds his brother had inflicted upon him. While he was making steady progress, Vash seemed a little concerned at the amount of time it was taking for his brother to heal. Normally, a plant should have been able to recuperate much more quickly than a human, but Knives had been in bed for a month and his wounds were still in the process of closing. Even worse, he had yet to regain conciousness, which really worried Vash. He could still feel his brother somewhere in there, but he couldn't make any contact. Knives' subconscious was just projecting images: dreams and fears. Vash had no real way to communicate with his brother.

All he could do was wait. He pulled up a chair and had basically stayed put for the entire month, only leaving occasionally to stand up and stretch or go to the bathroom. Vash was conflicted. He was staring at his brother and his greatest adversary at once as he looked at the man lying in bed. He was worried that his brother would wake up and continue on his rampage, but he was more worried that his brother wouldn't wake up at all. He already felt like a freak, and even if Knives was a genocidal maniac, he was exactly the same kind of freak. Vash took a little bit of twisted comfort in that knowledge. If his brother was alive, then he could never really be alone. Even though he hated what Knives had done, Vash still loved him. He was groggily contemplating what he was going to do with his brother when a light knock on the door snapped him out of his reverie.

He didn't say anything, but the door opened anyway and Meryl shyly walked in with a tray of food. She was caught in his gaze and blushed a little, but managed to force her eyes away as she walked over to the bedside table and set the tray down. "Vash, you need to eat something." As if on queue, his stomach rumbled, betraying his recently acquired stoic posturing. He looked up at her and saw the worry in her eyes. She was worried about him, and that made him feel even more guilty. He had brought his brother here, he was a drain on the girls' resources, and to make it worse, she was wasting her time concerned with his wellbeing. He looked away, ignoring the pain in his empty stomach. He didn't deserve this kindness. He should have killed his brother and himself when he was out in the desert. He was fairly certain he wouldn't be missed, and if he was, those people would eventually move on and be better off without him. He didn't know why he had even come back here, since he knew he would be putting her in danger, but something in him drove him to where Meryl was. He was so selfish.

Meryl could see the sudden sadness in his eyes. She touched his shoulder and whispered quietly to him, "Please, you need your strength." The tenderness of the touch was what got to him. She cared about him. She was worried about him. She went out of her way to take care of him. The least he could do was eat something for her. He took a bowl of stew off of the tray and ate it slowly, still full of self-denial. She pulled up a chair and sat quietly next to him as he finished his food. He set the bowl back on the tray and looked down at his brother warily.

"Why don't you go rest for a little while?" she gently prodded him. She knew he hadn't been sleeping well for weeks. More than once she had silently crept in and draped a blanket across his broad shoulders in the middle of the night.

"I can't. What if he wakes up?"

His sad, tired eyes met her worried, fiery ones. "Please. You need to take care of yourself. I'll watch over Knives while you rest." She could see the doubt in his eyes. "Don't worry. I will wake you up if he regains consciousness."

Though he was apprehensive, he was deeply appreciative to her for volunteering to shoulder some of the weight of this burden. He covered her hand with one of his. "Okay, if you insist." He felt his lips turn in a small smile as he saw her cheeks glow with a slight blush.

She looked down at her hand and wondered if he had a clue what this simple gesture was doing to her. "O...okay..." She shook her head to regain her composure and withdrew her hand from his, a little slower than her mind wanted her hand to move. "You can rest in my room. I'll come get you if anything changes."

He looked more content than he had in a long time as he stood and squeezed her shoulder gently. "Thanks." He was a little wary of leaving his brother, but just as his stomach had finally driven him to eat, his eyes were driving him to sleep, and it would be wonderful to stretch out in a bed for a change.

She kept her eyes down until his lanky form had exited the room. She suddenly let out a sigh. "Don't think about it, Meryl. He doesn't need your emotions weighing him down. He has so many problems and doesn't need you adding to them." She looked at the unconscious source of nearly all of Vash's problems. "I hope you can change...for his sake."

Down the hall, a tired gunman was finally drifting off into restful sleep as thoughts of a certain insurance girl floated through his head.
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He rolled over and looked out the window. He couldn't tell if it was morning or evening. He sat up and stretched his arms. He hadn't felt this good in a long time. He got up and walked to his brother's room and saw Meryl still in the last place he had seen her. She was leaning on the side of the bed, her head on top of her folded arms, her soft breath gently moving the hair that had fallen into her face, a closed book with dog-eared pages to the side of her. In sleep, she seemed to shed all the worry that surrounded her when she was awake. He crouched down and watched her sleep for a while. He didn't want to wake her up. She looked so peaceful.

The light of the suns caused the room to grow brighter, and Vash suddenly realized that she had been in this room for hours, watching over his brother just like she said she would. Guilt tugged at his heart as he looked on her. Why did he have to sleep so long? This wasn't her problem...but for some reason she was willing to help him. He was torn between telling her to save herself and accepting her help. She really had changed since he first met her. While she was still a spitfire, gone were the days when she would indiscriminantly use physical abuse to end a discussion with him. She seemed more...patient. Was that all?

He had changed as well. He didn't act nearly as goofy as he used to. Between worry and guilt, he seemed to have his emotional plate full. With all they had been through together, he didn't feel the need to keep up pretenses. She knew the truth about him. He didn't have to hide from her, and that simple fact made her all the more important to him. While he sometimes thought of his brother as a complete stranger who just happened to share the same genetic makeup, he felt she really understood him, and he was so thankful that she hadn't turned him away when he needed her most.

Meryl was really the only person he had talked to in the last month. Millie was hardly ever around anymore, choosing to work instead of dwelling on her heartache. Vash admired her tenacity and her determination to keep on going. He often wondered what drove people to keep on going. He definitely asked the same of himself sometimes.

He sat down on the floor and leaned against the bed, his legs crossed, and just watched the precious girl in front of him. He missed her. Sure she was around all the time, but he had been so preoccupied with Knives that he barely paid attention to anything else. As he sat staring at her, he wondered when she had become so beautiful.

Suddenly, he saw Meryl's shoulders move as she began to sit up. She stretched like a kitten and looked around, surprised to be at eyelevel with a sitting Vash. "Wha--?"

Damnit, he'd been caught! "Oh...Good morning! I was just about to wake you up." He smiled at her and she smiled shyly back; her guard wasn't up yet. "Why didn't you wake me up last night? I didn't mean for you to stay here all night long."

She was surprised at his question. "Um...well...I knew you needed the rest. Nothing happened and I got to read a lot of my book, so it was not really wasted time." She looked at him until she realized she was looking at him and suddenly looked away. The sharp movement of her neck caused a shooting pain to go through her upper back. She had probably slept on something wrong. She lifted a hand to rub her sore muscles.

"What's wrong?" Vash watched as she rubbed her neck, feeling even more guilty that he had spent a night in a nice big bed while she had been forced to sit in a chair all night.

"Oh...it's really nothing. I guess I--" Before she could finish the sentence, he had hobbled over on his knees and was now sitting behind her with his hands on her shoulders. His strong fingers were kneeding the tention out of her tired back. "Mmmm... That feels so... Vash! What are you doing?"

He smiled at the mixed messages he was getting from the small girl. With the best salesman voice he could muster, he said dramatically, "Why miss, I am only providing you with a free sample of my Amazing Magic Fingers! Notice how they make stress disappear...make sore muscles untense...and make tired insurance girls happy! Relax and enjoy this free session while you can!"
The humor had done wonders to lighten the situation. It felt so good to Meryl, for so many different reasons. She relaxed and let her head hang down as his hands worked out all the pain in her neck. Every few minutes a small sigh would escape her lungs. After a while, she was really feeling like putty. That made it all the more shocking when he suddenly patted her twice on the back and announced that his work here was done. After the gentle caresses she had become used to, the patting seemed like slamming.

"So, do you feel better?" He was grinning at her shyly with his hand behind his head.

She was blushing, she knew it, so she kept looking forward. "Mmmhmm..." She had obviously been reduced to monosyllabic responses.

"Well, you've been taking such good care of me, it was the least I could do."

She finally turned around to look at him. He was still just about eye level with her. When he wasn't acting goofy, it was so hard not to take him seriously. His eyes seemed so open, almost endless. She felt like she could tell him anything right now and it would be okay.

"Vash, I..." She stopped herself when she heard a rustling coming from the bed. Vash heard it, too, and was up on his feet in no time. Suddenly, he rushed to the side of the bed and leaned over his brother who had moved a little. It wasn't completely out of the ordinary, but it was enough to give him hope.

"Knives? Knives! Can you hear me?" He got no response. He probed Knives' mind and was only met with the same images shuffling uncontrolled. Vash sank down into the chair, disheartened.

Meryl's previous statement had been completely forgotten. She figured it was for the best. There was no point in being selfish when it was obvious Vash had much bigger fish to fry. "I bet you're hungry," she said a little downtrodden as she got up to leave the room.

She didn't realize he was watching her as she left.