Disclaimer: None of this is really mine.. I'm just the poor author.. changed my pen name , I'm the former Princess of Sorrow.. deleted all my stories though

A/N: this is a story in diary style, it is written Rikku x Gippal though , in Rikku's POV... maybe later if y'all ask.. I'll try to work in Gippal's POV too


Confessions of a Princess..

Dear Diary,

"I'm sorry.." The poor girl looked down at the bed, at the panties she had just thrown to the floor. "..But I can't do this." A tear rolled down her cheek and fell on the bed. Heavenly blue was the colour but when the tear reached the bed.. it turned into a dark kind of blue…

Seeing the colour change made the girl even sadder. What exactly brought her here? With him. She didn't even know the answer herself. The boy just looked at her… slightly disappointed but not really that shocked.

"It wasn't my intention to.." He stopped and doubted the words he was about to say. "It's just.. you seemed to be okay with it." The boy didn't know where to look. He wasn't ashamed of what he did, or... what he tried to do… He was ashamed because the girl made him realise that it was wrong.

"Gippal… when will you ever learn… that hearts are…well… breakable. All you see is the body, do you even look at their faces? Of course not… cause if you had, you had noticed they were all sad… sad… and hopeful." The girl slowly grabbed her clothes and walked away.


That was everything I saw tonight. I saw my Gippal doing another girl that wasn't even his own. I had a crush on Gippal for two years now. And every time he'd have a girl. And it was never I who walked beside him.

It hurt… to know that absolutely EVERYONE was better than me. A part of me resented him, for being such a pervert and such a heartbreaker. That part wanted to spit on him so many times. I even swore to never talk to him again.

Yet every time I see him, talk to him, or just walk past him, I can't help but smile. I'll always do stupid things just to make him notice me. When I think back of the things I ever did to get his attention, I feel like a fool.

But that is what he has made me into. A fool. A blind fool, the worst kind. I guess that girl that night was right… the girls that love Gippal are always sad, hurt, heartbroken yet always hopeful that someday it'll be THEIR turn.. and when their turn is over… they feel worse.

I wonder… will he ever give up his lifestyle, if he found the right girl? Will he ever say I love you… and mean it? If he ever does, it must be to a very special girl. Sometimes I dream and imagine that that girl is me.

In my mind, he has told me a thousand times… As I write this… I feel sad… I feel tears coming up… so I guess I better lay down my pen… tomorrow is another day. If there's something special to report, you'll be the first to know.

Then again… a day with Gippal is always special. I'm working with him on a project for the kids in Djosé… tomorrow, I'll tell you all about it.

Goodnight.