A/N: So today was the second snow day I've had in a row. And I was really bored. This is a Sparrington one shot, slightly AU, more humor than romance, I think. Set in Curse of the Black Pearl, near the end of the film, after our characters have returned from ending the curse, and before Jack's hanging scene. It's not meant to be taken seriously. If you don't like slash, don't read it. Otherwise, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing!!! I'm only abusing my power to manipulate the characters of Pirates by writing fanfiction about them. Where's the harm in that??

Keys

"Come on Norrie, you don't need that key."

I froze. I did not just hear that disgusting nickname come from his lips. I turned around, with what could only be described as a murderous look on my face, prepared to kill me a pirate. Jack looked completely undaunted.

"I mean honestly, what are you ever gonna do with a key like that, mate? It isn't even that nice of a key. Look at it; it's all shabby, the paint's peeling off of it."

"Sparrow?"

He didn't even acknowledge that I'd spoken.

"What sort of man wants a key with the paint peeling off of it, I ask you? That's not the kind of key a fine commodore such as yourself would want to have on his possession."

"Sparrow?" I repeated, this time gaining volume.

Again, it was as though I'd never spoken.

"Seeing as you don't need such a shabby key as that, there wouldn't be any harm in giving it to old Captain Jack now would there? So you might as well…"

"SPARROW! Would you shut up?!"

Jack's mouth stopped mid-word. Finally, there was a moment of silence. Thank God for something. Unfortunately, the silence didn't last very long, seeing as I'd already snapped.

"No I will NOT give you the ruddy key, because you were brought here to hang and that's ruddy well what you're going to do!" I exploded. Then I promptly sat down in the guard's chair that had been placed across from the cell and took several deep breaths. What are you thinking, James? I questioned myself. You're an officer; better still, you're a commodore. You shouldn't be losing your temper to the likes of him.

"So Norrie, you let your temper get the best of you?"

Not again! I internally groaned. Just once, I would love to punch that smirking face of his to Singapore and back again.

"No, I merely find it entertaining to raise my voice at you," I retorted sarcastically, closing my eyes and leaning back against the chair. Where was that guard, anyway. He was supposed to be back a long time ago.

"Now why would that be, my dear Commodore?"

I sat up and glared at him. "I was joking, Sparrow. J-O-K-E. Joke."

That shut him up. Thank God, I thought once again, going back to the position I had been in only moments before. I was half an inch from sleep when I felt something rub against my leg.

I jerked up in an instant. Jack had grabbed a thicker piece of straw from the bottom of the jail cell, reached through the bars, and had obviously been using it to try and unhook the key ring from my belt.

My eye twitched. "Sparrow, what on earth do you think you're doing?"

He smirked that all-too-familiar smirk. "Isn't it obvious Norrie? I'm trying to undo that cursed belt, of course."

My jaw dropped. I'm fairly sure my eyes bulged out of their sockets. But before I had the chance to respond (although I doubt I could regardless), he was doubled over laughing.

"You should have seen the look on your face!" he gasped.

"You weren't serious?" I asked, simply for my own clarification. By now, with the way he was laughing, I knew that he hadn't been.

"J-O-K-E. Joke," he responded, grinning widely. His gold teeth glinted with the sunlight that shone through the barred window of the jail.

Relief filling me, I slumped back into the chair, reminding myself that breathing was a necessity. Sparrow hadn't been serious. He had been joking. I wasn't going to think any more of what he had said. I didn't feel anything. I was a stone.

Then Jack's voice came from the cell. "What if I had been serious, Norrie?"

Well, there goes any hope for breathing. "Why do you keep calling me that?" I inquired, hoping that posing a question of my own would save me from having to answer his.

"Calling you what?" His kohl-lined eyes glinted with humor. I groaned. He knew exactly what I was talking about.

"'Norrie,'" I spat out, not wanting to say it but also wanting the answer to my question.

"Well," he said slowly, sounding almost reluctant. "I like… it. It sounds nice."

"You mean ridiculous," I said, my nose scrunching up in irritation. "Why do you need a nickname for me anyway?"

When he didn't answer, I opened one eye a crack. Jack was simply standing in his cell, watching me.

I sat up briskly; this was getting more and more irksome. Why couldn't he just answer me? "Well?" I prompted, trying not to let my foot tap on the ground and give away my impatience.

He looked up at me, grinned, and stayed silent as a church mouse. That was all it took. I jumped up and began to yell at him, for the second time that day.

"Sparrow, what is wrong with you? Can't you answer a simple question?"

What I didn't realize was that in my anger I was unknowingly striding closer and closer to him. I was so caught up in my frustration, I didn't even notice when Jack took the keys from off my belt and unlocked the cell door.

"It really doesn't take that much, just a simple explanation! Answer me, damn it, or so help me I'll…"

But I didn't get to explain what I would have done, because suddenly Jack's lips were pressed on mine. Hmm, that's odd, I wondered. How did he get out of that cell? But the thought was in and out of my brain in less than a second, and I was too preoccupied with the pirate kissing me to wonder any more than that.

Within a period of minutes I had pushed him back against one of the cell walls and my tongue was in his mouth. I suppose you could say I was a fast mover. But it's not my fault he's so damned attractive. And an amazing kisser.

Then, "Commodore? Are you down there?"

Drat. Interruption.

By the time the guard had made his way down the stairs, Jack was locked up in his cell once more and I was seated in the chair, the key ring returned to my belt, looking (I hoped) as if nothing had happened.

"What took you so long, officer?" I snapped, before he noticed that Jack was flushed and out of breath, and that my wig was slightly crooked.

"Sorry Commodore, I got caught up with my lady friend, you know, and I didn't realize the time."

I felt the blush heat up on my cheeks. Trying to ignore it, I stood. "Yes, well, take up your position, officer. I'll send down your replacement when your shift is done."

Briskly I walked up the stairs two at a time, out of the jail and into the sunlight. No one would notice if I myself was that replacement, would they? No, I thought not.


A/N: Well, what do you think? Let me know if I made any errors - plot, grammar, or otherwise - and I'll correct them. Come on, you know you want to push that little purple button. I think I can hear it calling your name.