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Down for the Count

Chapter One: Enter Shi-chan!!!

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"Is that a girl?"

"I don't know. It's hard to tell, what with the boy's uniform and all."

"He's a boy. He must be. He has a sister I believe. She looks just like him. She's in my gym class. She beat up one of the boys in the Host Club! Hit him right in the face!"

"Oh dear! Was he alright?"

"Hmph. Just what I'd expect from the likes of an Iwagami."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh! I've heard of them! They're a rich family, known for being excellent fighters. Even the girls."

I rolled my eyes. The girls at this school had really mastered the useless art of loud-whispering. What's worse, they couldn't tell that I was girl even though I was in their gym class. With a sigh, I walked away from the vending machine with my bottle of water and headed down the hallway.

"Shi-chan!" A voice down the hall called.

I paused and looked back, shocked by who I found.

"Haruhi? Is that you?" I asked.

She nodded and hugged me tight. "Ah! Shi-chan! I was so worried that I'd never see you again after you left public schools!"

"Why are you wearing a boy's uniform?" We asked at the same time. We just stared, dumbfounded at each other for a second, before Haruhi gave me a sheepish smile.

"Well… I'm in debt, you see. The only way for me to pay back that debt was to pretend to be a boy in the school's Host Club. Why are you wearing the boy's uniform?"

I shrugged. "Have you seen those girl's uniforms lately? They're an Iwagami girl's nightmare." I shivered. "Yellow… Bleh!"

She laughed quietly and took my wrist. "Come with me! I want you to meet everyone!" She walked down the hall, pulling me in tow.

"Haruhi? What are you doing at this school, anyway?"

"Ugh, you have no idea how hard I had to study to get in here. I had to get a scholarship, and once I finally get here, I meet the school's Host Club, break an expensive vase, and become their dog. Then, they get the idea that I'd make a good Host Club member because they think I'm a boy, and I get stuck even after they find out I'm a girl. Only the Host Club knows. I'm so busy with them, that I have no time just to go home and relax."

I chuckled. "Sounds like you're having fun."

She smiled. "I actually am. Don't tell them that though. I don't want to inflate they're already bulbous egos too much. Here we are! The third music room." She pushed open the door, and rose petals flew at me. I choked on one. Don't ask me how, because I have no clue.

While I was coughing, trying to dislodge the horrid petal, my eyes met a strange sight. Five boys stood around a boy in a chair, and they were all wearing togas with olive branches in their hair. "Welcome," The chorused. They paused when they saw us. The blonde one's eyes grew and he ran over, scooping Haruhi into his arms.

"Haruhi! Is this boy bothering you?"

Haruhi's eyes narrowed and she squirmed out of his grip. "Stop it! This isn't a boy! This is my childhood friend, Iwagami Shinobu. She doesn't like dresses, so she chose to wear the boys uniform."

He smiled at me and took my hand, bending down on one knee. "I apologize, malady. How horridly rude of me. Any friend of Haruhi's is a friend of mine."

"Aren't you the boy forcing her into this club against her will?"

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "Uhhhhhhhh…."

I took my hand from his. "And don't try any of the Host Club crap on me. It doesn't work on anyone but those air headed brats at this school."

He started sulking in a corner.

"Ah! I knew I recognized you!" One of the redheaded twins called. "You're that girl that punched me in gym!" He rubbed a purple spot on his chin and glared at me.

I shrugged. "Don't make such a big deal about it. Punching someone who comes that close to my face is just natural instinct for me."

"I was just trying to reach for the basketball on the shelf behind you!"

I opened my mouth to speak, but Haruhi interrupted. "Guys. Calm down. This is my friend. Sure she can get a little… fight-happy, but she's actually really nice. Shi-chan, this is Suoh Tamaki, Ootori Kyoya, the Hitachiin twins, Hikaru and Kaoru, Haninozuka Mitsukuni, but everyone calls him Honey, and last is Morinozuka Takashi."

I smirked at them all. "Nice to meet you. I hope you've all been taking good care of Ha-chan for me!"

Tamaki looked at me oddly. "Ha-chan? Who's Ha-chan?"

Haruhi glared at me. "Don't call me that! If you do, then they'll feel compelled to call me that too. Don't encourage these idiots!"

Honey jumped up and wrapped his arms around my neck, giving me a cute smile. "Ah! It's nice to meet one of Haru-chan's friends! You can call me Honey-chan! Want to hold my bunny?" He shoved the bunny in my hands, not giving me a chance to answer. "Don't dirty him up, Shi-chan!"

The boy in the glasses walked up to me next. "Hello, miss. I am Ootori Kyoya, as Haruhi has already told you. I'm the vice-president of this club, so if you need anything, don't hesitate to come find me."

I smiled lightly, happy to have finally met someone nice. "Thank you, Ootori-san. It's a pleasure to meet you."

The tall black haired boy walked up to me next. "Hello, Iwagami-san. I'm Morinozuka Takashi, but you can call me Mori, if you'd like."

I nodded. "Nice to meet you, Mori-san."

He looked over at Honey-chan, and suddenly his eyes widened. "Mitsukuni! Don't eat that!" And then he took off running. Then the twins came up. They were probably still a little peeved that I'd punched the slightly taller one at gym.

The one that I'd punched held out his hand grudgingly for me to take. "Hello. My name is Hikaru."

"I'm Kaoru."

Haruhi rolled her eyes. "Liars," She muttered.

"Haruhi! Can't you let us have a little bit of fun?" They whined simultaneously. It turns out that I had punched Kaoru, not Hikaru. Strange boys.

Lastly, was Tamaki. He narrowed his eyes and stuck up his nose so that he could look at me through his ridiculously long eyelashes. "I'm Suoh Tamaki. King of the Host Club."

I stuck out my hand for him to take. "I'm Iwagami Shinobu, heir to the Iwagami empire."

He suddenly choked on his own spit. "H-heir? You're the… The… Heir?"

"Yeah…" I said raising an eyebrow.

"Um… I'm sorry for my rudeness." He muttered before walking away.

"Mori-kun!" I heard Honey whisper from a few feet away. "Why did Tamaki apologize to her? The only person he ever really apologized to was Haruhi." Mori leaned down to him and whispered in his ear. His eyes got wide. "What do you mean she's got three times as much money as he does? I thought the Iwagami were just a family of kendo masters."

I leaned down beside him as well. "Not just kendo," I told him. He jumped and blushed as if embarrassed that I'd heard him. "We have all different kinds of fighters in our family and we own 97% of all the dojos in Japan and we have a lot of gyms in America."

His eye widened. "Really?" He asked cutely. "Do you fight too? What kind of fighting do you do?"

I beamed. "I'm a boxer. Number one in the coed internationals."

"What does that mean?"

Mori chose to answer this one. "It means that not only did she beat up all the girl boxers our age in the world, but also all the boy ones."

I grinned and nodded. "That's exactly right, Mori-san! Thank you."

"Shi-chan!" Haruhi called from across the room. "Come here!"

I turned and smiled at Honey and Mori, then headed over to Haruhi. "What is it?"

"We were wondering if you'd like to join the Host Club."

"I am not pretending to be a boy!"

"No need," Tamaki answered. "It's not the kind of position. We need a new manager. Our old one left for France a week ago. How about it?"

"Ummm… I guess. I don't know if I'll be able to fit it all in with my practice but I can try."

He shrugged. "No matter. You don't need to show up a lot. Only at our big events. I make most of the smaller decisions for the club."

"Then, sure. I'll be your manager."

Haruhi smiled. "Great! Now I won't be the only girl that's forced to hang around these guys!"

I was quiet for a second, before I thought of something. "Hey, Haruhi?"

"Yeah?"

"If you're a girl pretending to be a boy… which bathroom do you use?"

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"No," I told Tamaki bluntly.

He pouted comically. "But… But… But our old manager did it! It was her thing! It'll be weird to have a manager that doesn't do it."

"No. Not matter how much you plead, I will not do cosplay or come out of the floor on a stupid platform. Why does this place have one of those anyway? This is music room."

Haruhi sighed. "You'll get used to it. Nothing in this room is anything that would be in a normal music room. There is a piano, but that's it."

Honey-chan latched onto my leg and climbed up to my shoulders. "Hello Shi-chan!" He said excitedly. "Would you like to eat cakes with me and Takashi?"

I smiled at him. "I'd love to, but don't the two of you have costumers?" He looked over his shoulder and saw three girls sitting at his table, each with a plate of cake just for him. His eyes widened and he started to drool.

He jumped off my shoulder and made a break for the girls with cake. "Maybe later then Shi-chan!"

I couldn't help but laugh. He was so adorable. "Don't mind it," Mori-san said coming up beside me. "No one comes before cake in his mind." He sighed and the corner of his mouth twitch up in what seemed to be an almost kind of half smile. "Not even his own brother."

"I don't mind," I told him looking back at Honey-chan. "The two of you are close aren't you?"

He nodded. "My family has been with his family for generations, but a marriage between our families has made us cousins. We have been together since we were very young. He may not look like it, but he's older than me by a few months. His family is really big on martial arts so-." He looked over at me and paused, probably freaked out by the look on my face. If I had to guess, I was probably gaping like a fish.

"Waaaaaahhhhh?" I asked. "He's older than you? He's smaller and cuter than my six year old sister!" I suddenly froze. "Don't tell her I said that. She doesn't need any more reasons to kill me."

He raised an eyebrow. "Your six year old sister wants to kill you?"

"Don't ask. Anyway, don't you have costumers too, Mori-san?"

"No," He said shaking his head. "I have not been requested yet today."

I looked over his shoulder curiously. "You sure? There's a sad looking girl over at your table."

He followed my eyes and sighed. "She's back." He left it at that and walked back to his table. He sat down and the two just looked at each other for a moment, before the girl started babbling incoherently from shyness. Mori looked at her patiently and listened to what she had to say, even though I bet he didn't understand a word of it.

I shrugged and walked back over to my seat by the window. I picked up my book, got comfortable and continued reading. Just when I was getting to the good part, a couple giggling girls walked over to me.

"E-Excuse me," One said quietly.

I looked up at her. "Yes?"

"Um… Are you a new Host?"

I shook my head. "I-." I was interrupted when Kyoya slapped his hand over my mouth.

"Yes, he is. This is Iwagami Shinobu, the newest Host member. Sorry, princesses, but he will not be available until tomorrow."

The girls sighed sadly and walked away dejectedly. I licked Kyoya's hand and he instantly snatched it away. "What the hell, Kyoya? I already told you guys, I'm not going to pretend to be a boy!"

He pushed his glasses farther up on his nose. "I'm afraid you'll have to. Most of the girls have requested you already, and more or doing so every minute. I think having you a Host will bring great profit to this club."

"And if a refuse?"

"Well, let's just say… I know things. Things that you would rather not have exposed to the public."

I scoffed. "Like what? I have nothing to hide."

"Oh really? So you wouldn't mind if I told the world about your… problem with children? Do you think that your grandmother would let you remain heir after they find out?"

I grit my teeth to keep from pounding on him. "How do you know about that?"

"My brother is your doctor."

"He swore that he'd keep that in confidence!"

"He did, but I hacked his computer. I figured that I'd need some blackmail on you soon. So, how about it? Will you be a Host?"

I sighed in defeat. "Fine."

"Hikaru! Kaoru!" Kyoya called. They appeared by his side instantly.

"Yes?" They asked.

"Shinobu is now a Host. Fix her up, will you?"

They smirked and nodded. "Right away."

They grabbed onto my wrists and pulled my into the back room, shoved me in a chair and strapped me down, then preceded to mess with my hair.

Kaoru pulled my long black hair back into a ponytail the laid down the back of my neck with some strands of hair falling over my shoulder. Hikaru grabbed my left ear forcefully, and before I could do anything, he pierced it with a diamond stud.

"Hey!" I screamed, trying to squirm out of the seat.

They both stood in front of me, their hands on their chins thoughtfully and they looked at me with a critical eye. "It's missing something," They said together. "Glasses!" They exclaimed.

"I'm wearing contacts already."

"These square frame glasses suit you better." Kaoru said. They forced me to take my contacts out and set the glasses over my silver eyes. Hikaru snapped out his phone and took a picture of me, sent it to someone, and was instantly met by a loud beep, stating that whoever it was had replied.

He looked from the phone, to me, back to the phone, then back to me and nodded. "She hasn't lost her touch."

"What does she say that Shinobu should be?"

He paused for dramatic effect, then suddenly pointed at me, obviously imitating this old manager of theirs. "Shi-chan will be…. The Sophisticated type! Kyakyakyakyakyakya!" He started cackling and sank to his knees like he was going under ground.

Kaoru thought this was hilarious, but I was lost. "I'm a what?"

"A Sophisticated type! You know, usually stoic and speaks really fancy-like and sometimes breaks out into random Haikus." They said at the same time.

I deadpanned. "And exactly how many sophisticated people do you know?"

"Are you done in there yet? I want to see my new daughter!" I heard Tamaki's obnoxious voice called from outside.

They unhooked the restrains and pushed me outside. "Ta da! We present… Iwagami Shinobu, the Sophisticated type!"

Tamaki started crying like a proud mother (or father as he says). "Wonderful! The long ponytail and single pierced ear! It's perfect! Starting tomorrow, Iwagami is the newest member of the Host Club!"

"I can barely contain my joy…" Not.

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"Oh, Iwagami-kun!" The girl beside me swooned.

I smiled and held her chin to pull her closer to me.

"Your radiance is,

Like a sunny day in spring,

Lovely and so bright."

'Ugh, that was horrible! What girl would fall for a bad Haiku like that?' I thought to myself.

"KYYYAAA!" They all fawned and nearly fainted. "So beautiful!" I nearly sweat dropped. Were these girls for real? It was girls like these that made it hard for me to get any respect in the rich society.

"Iwagami-san," A shy brunette said as she snuggled up against me. "Why did you join the Host Club?"

'Because Kyoya is a manipulative bastard.' I smiled at her. "Because otherwise I never would have met maidens fair as yourself."

She blushed and turned away to hide it. As much as I hated doing this, it was actually kind of fun. "Oh, Iwagami-san!" She mumbled shyly.

"Oh, Iwagami-san!" I heard Kaoru and Hikaru mock behind the chair.

I glared at them. "What do you two want? Can't you tell that I'm entertaining these lovely princesses?"

They chuckled and came around to stand in front of me. "It's time to play… the which one is Hikaru-kun game! Every new member has to play. Haruhi is the only one to win. Let's see if you can win as well!" They slapped on some hats and started spinning around the room so that I'd lose track of who was standing where. They stopped in front of me again and held out their arms. "Who is Hikaru-kun!"

I pointed to the one on the left. "Hikaru." Then I pointed to the one on the right. "Kaoru."

"Wrong!"

I smirked. "If you say so."

They looked at me curiously and leaned in closely. "How did you know?"

I just ignored them and leaned back against the couch. "Would any of you ladies like some tea?" They all nodded vigorously so I stood and walked over to Haruhi, who was carrying the tray.

The twins followed close behind me. "Seriously, Shinobu, how did you know?" They asked.

I shrugged. "I find it blatantly obvious who is who."

"Is it the same way as Haruhi? Can you tell by looking into our eyes?"

I shook my head. "No. If you don't know how I know, then maybe you should think about it a little bit. It'll come to you. Eventually."

They stopped following me at that point and walked back to their table. I smirked as I carried the tray of tea over to my costumers. I found it amusing that they really didn't recognize me. The first girl to ever tell them apart back in middle school.

I smiled seductively as I sat with the girls and handed them their tea. "Thank you so much, Iwagami-kun!"

"You're welcome, my princesses," I said, while at the same time I thought, 'What annoying spoiled brats.' I wonder how long Kyoya will blackmail me into doing this?