Title: True Cowards
Author: Noctalune
Date: November 2, 2005
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own the pretty boys.
A/N: It wasn't meant to be slash…but I suppose you could take it that way. Mainly an experiment in fragments. I suppose I could do a better job if I took some time and expanded this, but I just wanted to open the new (or is it?) idea. Reviews are welcomed in all conceivable forms and formats.
I never really thought about it. Which is ironic, because I've been mulling over a single day in my life for the rest of it, and I've never even considered this before. After so long, after everything's frozen and unbreakable… it's so much easier, and yet, so much more difficult to say this…but… I need for it to be said.
"You're a coward, Neil."
You don't answer. I didn't expect you to. Imagine, me, calling you a coward. Ironic indeed. Maybe a little more than a little true.
"You took the easy way out." I tell you. You don't answer. My voice has no inflection. It doesn't waver, and it doesn't accuse. Just an easy statement of fact.
"It was hard, I know," I say. "He was unfair and unchangeable, but… but you let him win, Neil. You did. I don't think you knew it then, but you could've lived better… Don't you know that? You could've survived, even if you had to run away. Maybe I would've run away, too, Neil…"
You don't answer me.
"You're a coward, Neil," I say again, and this time I do accuse. "I may tremble at the thought of half the things you had done…but at least I stuck them out. I may not look you in the eye, but I remained in the room."
I stand. The cold ground begins to make my knees ache. "I love you Neil, and I can forgive… but you're coward…and I just figured it out."
I walk away from you. You don't stand. You don't speak.
Yourchill tombstone stands in the wind like a monument to the misunderstood.
It was hard, I know. It was unfair, I know. But it wasn't hopeless, Neil. I loved you.
You're a coward.
