Hey there!
The first chapter, at last. The length will be about the same for every chapter.
Italics in the beginning retrace Staria's life right after Nightmare Moon.
I own nothing but Staria and the plot.
Enjoy!
XxxX
Emptiness.
Perhaps it was better than the harsh coldness of despair, the cruel claws of helplessness. Perhaps it was better to feel nothing than feel too much.
Pain.
No. Don't go there. Don't go where it hurts, don't go back to what shattered you in the first place. It does not matter anymore.
Anger.
It is there, isn't it? Beneath the pain and the harsh despair, beneath the mask you've learned to bear. Angry, furious even, except you're not ready to face your own wrath.
They are responsible, aren't they? For the way you feel. For the way you felt. For everything.
You can't deny it.
And yet, still you try. You find comfort in believing it was all your fault, that no one else could have changed anything. Still you believe leaving was the best option.
Coward, is what you think.
Is it cowardly to leave what hurts you the most behind? Is it selfish to prefer your own life above hers? Is it wrong to seek happiness elsewhere—
When you can't find it when you're home?
Home.
Was it really your home? When was it twisted into this parody of happiness, this meaningless duty you never asked for –this emptiness you could never fill? You did not ask for it. You did not deserve this.
Is it wrong to leave it all behind?
Is it wrong to abandon your family when they need you the most?
What about you? Should you stay for her, to rebuild her strength, when it's destroying yours?
Can you sacrifice yourself for her?
Should you? Should you?
No.
You have the right to break. You have the right to live.
It's your choice, not hers.
You don't have to deal with her mistakes, only yours.
She needs to learn, and so do you.
Learn the true weight of the crown. Learn what it means.
She can't learn if you're here to lighten the burden.
You can't learn if she's here to bear it for you.
And the wounds will never heal if you stay.
For the both of you.
We made our mistakes. Now it's time to bear their consequences.
Now it's time to heal.
"Forgive me, sister…"
But I can't heal by your side.
Unreadable eyes, not really seeing anything.
She knows what to do, for the first time in years maybe.
She would not go back.
Only broken feathers and crystal tears are left in her wake.
XxxX
"M' not sure 'bout that, sugarcube. Princess Celestia did say she'd come back on her own…"
"You didn't see her eyes, Applejack. She looked so sad…And princess Staria's been gone for a thousand years! It would be better for everypony if we could find her and take her back to Canterlott."
There hadn't been a single trace of a princess Staria in Twilight's castle's library. The alicorn had opened every single book she had ever owned, but they all said the same thing: there had been two alicorns, two sisters, not three. And there was never any mention of the stars anywhere.
Thus, she'd dragged all of her friends into the Canterlott library. While Pinkie Pie and Rarity were interrogating the princesses, the other four were trying their luck in the palace. And so far, they had found nothing.
"Come on, it happened a thousand years ago! How the hell do you want us to find anything?" Dash finally exploded. "And she has wings! When a Pegasus wants to leave, nopony can actually track her down!"
"But there has to be traces of her presence, right?" Fluttershy asked, putting a book back on its shelf. "I mean, an alicorn isn't exactly the most discreet kind of pony…"
"Celestia would have known if she had been seen," Twilight shook her head. "But she just vanished in the middle of the night." She closed one book to open another. She did not look up, and the other three eyed her worriedly. Outside, the sun was beginning to set, and a few minutes later both Rarity and Pinkie Pie entered the library. Twilight was upon them in under a second.
"Did you find anything? What do they remember?"
"Nothing, darling," Rarity said, exchanging a look with the others. "Princess Staria was last seen the night after Nightmare Moon, raising the stars. She disappeared in the middle of the night, and nopony saw her afterwards. Celestia asked every guard, but none had seen her."
Twilight sighed.
"We just have to keep searching, then."
She immediately darted over to yet another book and proceeded to bury her head in the pages. However, the others did not move from their places, and Twilight eventually raised her head when she noticed the odd silence.
"Girls?"
"Who tells her?" Dash asked, crossing her hooves. Applejack sighed.
"Twilight, if we havn't found anything…"
"Then there is probably nothing," Rarity finished. "I know you really want to find her, sweetie, but I don't believe something as old as a thousand years has left any trace in a book, of all things."
"Nopony's seen a thing. Why'd they write a book 'bout nothing?"
"Oh, oh! I know, I know! Maybe because they couldn't say anything? Or they had nothing to write!" Pinkie sang, jumping up and down. Rarity blinked, Rainbow Dash sweatdropped and Twilight stood up.
"I won't give up. Both Celestia and Luna want her back. We can't give up!"
"But there is absolutely nothing!" Rainbow Dash argued. "Zero, nada, nothing!"
Twilight only resumed wandering the library, picking books up left and right, looking agitated. The others gathered around the door.
"Perhaps we could go to sleep and try again tomorrow," Fluttershy intervened. "We're all extremely tired."
"She's right, ya know," Applejack agreed. "We should-"
"Go to sleep if you want, but I'll keep searching." Twilight answered determinedly. "Goodnight."
"Twili-"
"Goodnight."
The door slammed shut behind her, and they all stared at it for a while, wondering what they should do. Whenever it came to finding something, Twilight had always been extremely stubborn and determined to find it, but this time, it wasn't just uncommon or unheard of; it was old. Very old. There was no telling if they'd find anything, if there was anything at all. From what they'd understood, Princess Staria had appeared in public even less than Princess Luna, to the point that while most ponies knew they had three rulers, less than half had actually known her name. Sad, but it was years ago. How could they hope to find anything, if even Celestia back then, had been unable to?
"Let's leave her be." Rarity eventually said. "She'll feel better in the morning."
None knew that for certain, of course. But there was nothing else to do, and they all knew it. One by one, they deserted the hallway to return to the rooms Celestia had offered them in the palace. Inside the library, Twilight kept searching and searching, desperate to find something, anything.
Any clue as to princess Staria's whereabouts.
There had to be something.
Regardless of the thousand years that could have erased anything left to begin with.
XxxX
"I found it!"
Of course, trust Twilight to defy the odds and find just what should have been impossible to find.
"Girls! I found it! Come on! I know where Princess Staria is!"
While Pinkie was already awake and Rainbow kept sleeping, Fluttershy jerked awake and flew to the roof, trembling. Applejack slowly blinked awake.
"Slow down, sugarcube!" She yawned sleepily. "Ye say ye foun' her? How?"
"Come on, join me in the library and I'll show you! Hurry up!"
She disappeared in a flash, and Rarity sighed.
"So much for my beauty sleep," she whined. "Well, we should do as she said."
It wasn't long before they found themselves in the library, though they were surprised to see that both princess Luna and princess Celestia were there, too, though neither looked quite awake yet.
"Did you find her, Twilight? Do you know where our sister is?" Luna didn't look awake, but her voice alone certainly conveyed her impatience and desire to find her. Twilight looked torn for a moment.
"I don't know for sure where she is, but I have a pretty good idea."
"How did you even find her, Twilight?"
The young alicorn did not answer, getting a rather recent-looking book from the top of a nearby pile. Around it, a lot of history books, older looking, rested. Twilight excitedly opened her book and faced the other.
"My mistake was to try to find somepony who had seen her, or reported her during the time she disappeared. Except, I couldn't find any trace of her anywhere; nopony ever mentioned another alicorn."
"Because she hid herself," Luna explained. "She ran away from the palace -I am fairly sure she wouldn't have wanted to be recognised."
"Exactly," Twilight smiled. "So as soon as I understood that, I started looking for something else -princess Celestia, you told me she was depressed after that night, right?"
"She barely left her room, and she was extremely pale," Celestia confirmed. "But what does this have to do with what you found?"
"I'm coming to it. So basically, instead of looking for an alicorn, I looked for a depressed mare, and the time of her disappearance coincides with the appearance of legends of all sorts."
"Legends?" Rainbow dash hovered above her, trying to get a look behind the book's cover, which Twilight stubbornly kept out of reach. "Am I the only one who's absolutely not following?"
Twilight did not reply, opting instead to turn the pages from her books until she landed on a peculiar page, though she did not show which to the others.
"These legends all tell of a lone mare who wandered the villages for a while. Some speak of a ghost, other of a demon -but they all have one thing in common," She finished with a satisfied smile, and finally turned the book towards them.
Etched on the two pages, they could see a picture of a ghost mare, standing in front of a lake, and surrounded by other, smaller ghosts. And the pony herself…
Celestia took a sharp breath.
"Heavens…these colours…"
"It's hers…Do you really think…?"
"The legends all say she had a blue coat and a black mane, and a peculiar attachment to the night." Twilight nodded. "If we retrace the different times and origins of these legends, we can notice they start around the night of Nightmare Moon, and then spread in a rather big area from the Old Castle. I don't think it is a mere coincidence."
"So if we fin' from where the first legend comes from, we fin' the Princess?"
"Not exactly. We'll need to retrace her steps from there, but I believe we'll eventually find her."
The others started whispering among themselves, and Twilight only smiled.
"Twilight…where does it start?"
Celestia and Luna stared at her without blinking. It was hard to see what they were thinking; Celestia had said before that she believed her sister would come back on her own. Was she really happy she had found her sister? Her eyes were unreadable. Twilight faltered for a moment; was it right? What if princess Staria actually did not want to come back? What right did she have to upset the balance Celestia and Luna had worked so hard to find?
"Just say it, Twilight," Luna said calmly. "I personally want to know where she's been all this time."
Twilight swallowed.
"Right outside of Everfree Forest…it's the first place the legend appeared."
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