I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.
Special note: This takes place during the time between seasons 4 and 5. At the moment it's an AU because I'm not sure if I'm going to use this in a later fic.
!Warning! Contains spoilers for Season 4 and speculation for Season 5 !Warning!
This story is dedicated to the wonderful Verda Napoli. She planted a seed that came to fruition in this story and I appreciate her help.
Truth Will Not Set You Free
She sat across the table from Jax, loathing and disgust clear in her eyes. He may have been the current Club President and at one time her brother but now he was nothing. He was a villain and a coward who struck when her Father was at his lowest point. A thing that stripped a dying man of all that he had in the world and sitting beside him were the woman she used to call mom but now called slut and at his right hand sat Tara, the new queen, already holding court. Milla felt sick but she sat. Jax had been sneaky and used Juice to get her here, telling him that the Club needed her for something. Well the ruse had worked and now she sat in a room with three people she had a new and virulent hate for.
"It's good to see you Millipede. We've missed you around here" Jax said and Milla just stared. "We miss Espy too."
"You have no right to keep my grandbaby from me." Gemma seethed and Milla turned her face to her mother and looked at her with cold, lifeless, eyes before she turned back to Jax.
"Not now mom." He said petulantly and Gemma pursed her lips. "Listen, I know things are tense right now, but I need you to listen to us and stay calm. We're about to let you in on some heavy shit."
Milla didn't say anything, she just wanted them to speak their peace so she could get home to her baby and make her husband dinner. Juice had been acting like his old self lately and she didn't want that disturbed in any way. If it meant keeping a routine and slowly bringing him back she'd take all the time in the world and turn hers upside down to do it.
"Do you want to say anything?" Tara asked from her place next to Jax and Milla turned to her. When Tara looked in her eyes she shivered, the woman sitting there wasn't the Milla they all knew and loved. This woman was broken and in pain Tara only had the barest inkling of.
"Can we get this over with? I need to get home and make dinner." She sat back in her seat and crossed her arms, effectively cutting herself off from them.
"What did we do to make you hate us?" Gemma asked and Milla snorted, she'd been waiting for this.
"Well, Gemma, you're a hypocrite. How many times was I told 'stand with your man no matter what'? Now here you are flaunting your shit around town when Dad needs you the most. I know he did wrong, but he's learned his lesson. It took losing everything to bring him back to us, but you've gone and started spreading filth about him to anyone who will listen." She turned to Jax with pure maliciousness in her eyes. "Jackie boy, Jaxass, Pres, so high and mighty sitting at the head of that table. How'd you get that gavel huh? That's right you tried to kill a man in his hospital bed and sliced his patches off while he watched. He was already at his lowest point and you jumped like some carrion animal picking the bones clean. To top it off you took the patch without a vote, that went against everything in the rules and bylaws, it's sad that I know them better than you do."
She took a few moments to stare hard at Gemma and Jax, they were never going to be mom or brother to her ever again, before she turned to Tara. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at the woman she used to love as a sister, but now she saw her as something other. She was queen now to Jax's king and it was one monarchy she wouldn't be serving.
"You...I loved you Tara. Even when Gemma hated you and wanted you gone I supported you and built you up. I did everything to make your transition easy and what do you do? You stab me in the back. I know you're the one who told Juice I went to the clinic. I know you encouraged Jax to kill my Father. I'll never forgive you for it and I want you and the other two seated at this table out of my life. Once I leave this table I'm out of yours." She turned her head to look at each of them. "I've already told this to Juice so now you'll know. I'm going civilian, I'm not going to be an Old Lady anymore. The Club is nothing to me anymore and neither are any of you."
She said the last without any shred of doubt. She'd meant every word she said and Gemma felt a pain in her heart. Her little girl had turned her back on her, turned her back on everything she'd been taught in life and Gemma felt sick. She'd be the first to admit that she hadn't wanted a daughter and she'd admit to herself that maybe she hadn't given her girl enough attention as she was growing up but she loved her. She loved her smart, pretty, stubborn little girl as ferociously as she loved her sons and this made the blow that much harder.
"You can't mean that." Jax said and Milla snorted again, she'd meant every word.
"Are we done here?" She asked and Jax looked between his mother an old lady. Each nodded to his silent question.
"We're almost done. We have something that we need to share with you, something that will explain our actions. You need to see it to understand." He said pleadingly and Milla raised her eyebrows.
"Just show me so I can leave here and leave you all behind." She said it harshly and Jax flinched. The little girl who worshipped him was long gone. In response to her suggestion he reached into the bag at his side and withdrew a plane manilla envelope and rose from the table. He made his way and when he reached Milla he set the envelope down and stood by her. as she pulled out what looked like letters. "What are these?"
"They're letters my Dad wrote to his mistress in Ireland before he died. Everything we did will make sense once you read them." He said and Milla looked from them to her mother.
"Mistress in Ireland?" She asked before she looked at the first date on the letter."Was this when Tommy died?"
After that she sat for an hour and read every word in the letters. She got to know John Teller, something she didn't think was possible. In her mind he was weak, a man who couldn't hack being an outlaw. Above all she saw a coward who left his wife to care for a dying child while he sought escape in the arms of a womanchild. She was disgusted with him and with his plans, he wouldn't just have ruined the Club, he would have destroyed his family. She also saw her parents through the eyes of another man. Her parents were carrying on an affair in front of the Club and everyone. Her upbringing told her it was wrong but at the same time Her Dad was there for Gemma when she had no one else and Milla couldn't feel any of the disgust that her upbringing told her she should. She knew they broke about a million club rules but it meant nothing now. The fates had conspired to put her parents together and it didn't matter to her how it happened. Once she finished the letters she read the police report that had been tucked in the back. From the looks of it John's accident hadn't been an accident and Milla knew instinctually who was responsible, who had to be responsible and she closed her eyes. It did explain everything, but it didn't make any difference at all.
"What do you think Mills?" Jax asked, a thread of hope in his voice as Milla put the letters carefully back into the envelope.
"I think..." She took a deep breath. "That this isn't the whole story. Each of these letters is dated in a specific pattern and five of them are missing. The complete picture isn't here."
"What?" He asked and Milla looked over to Gemma who had her poker face on.
"He wrote a letter every day and we're missing May 10th, July 13th, August 20th, October 5th and November 2nd. This shows me that someone went through and culled these letters." She explained and Jax gave her a look that said he wasn't listening so she just sighed and continued. "What am I supposed to feel, huh? Betrayed? Disgusted with my Dad? Sympathetic to you?"
"You're supposed to understand!" He shouted in his typical way and Milla nodded.
"I do understand, you felt like you were avenging your father and Gemma is a hypocrite. I also understand that Tara was defending her family, but she still betrayed me." Milla sighed then pinched the bridge of her nose. "Understanding doesn't equal forgiveness."
"Jesus Christ!" Jax yelled in anger and Milla remained seated. She'd said her peace. "How can you still support him after what he's done? Why do you defend him?"
"He's my Daddy, the only person who's been there for me no matter what. He's been my rock and my pillar my entire life, when my world came crashing down he was there to make it right again. He's always been the one person in this world I could count on. The love I have for that man won't go away because you say it should, I adore my Dad and this information hasn't changed that at all. I'm sorry Jax but I'll stick by my father." She said and Jax took a deep breath.
"He killed my father." He said in a strained voice and Milla nodded.
"And he's my father. I know what he did was wrong and hurt a lot of people, but it was the right thing for the Club. As far as history shows anyway. It would take a cosmic shift for me to hate my Dad and the cosmos are still in order." She said and Jax hung his head. There seemed to be no talking sense to her. She had a fanatical love for Clay and refused to see the light. Instead she'd turned on them and turned on the club and Jax didn't know what to do with this.
"So that's it? Clay over anything else?" Gemma asked and Milla nodded.
"Not everything, not over Espy or Juice but everything else. I love my Dad and will stick by him and support him. Especially when no one else will." She said before she stood. "If that's all I'll just head out now. I have to relieve Neeta and start dinner. Now I ask that you all lose my number and forget about me and Esperanza, my child and I are no longer your concern."
She didn't say anything else, no farewell, no 'i'm sorry', nothing. She just walked out the front door and the three at the table sat like stone. Gemma afraid to move and lose her composure, Jax afraid to fly into a rage over losing his sister and Tara afraid to cry over the loss of the one woman she truly trusted in the world.
They remained in their stone like silence for a long while before Gemma stood and walked outside. Once she was alone in her Caddy she turned her radio up full blast and screamed. Clay had done it, he'd torn her family apart, he'd taken her daughter from her. It was one more tally on the list of sins her former man had committed against her and she'd see him dead for it.
Jax sat for a few moments more before he ran a shaking hand through his hair. He wouldn't scream, he wouldn't yell and he wouldn't put forth the effort to hit things. Milla had made her choice and as much as it hurt him he'd honor it. If he was nothing to her then she'd be nothing to him.
Tara took a deep breath before she stood and walked into the kitchen. It was done, there was nothing more to be said. They had clearly drawn a line in the sand and Milla had remained on the opposing side. She still loved her and would still worry about her but Milla had made bed and now she had to lie in it.
…
"Mama!" Her baby squealed as she came through the door and Milla brushed the last of her tears off her cheeks before she picked up her little girl and hugged her tight.
"Oh baby, Mama missed you." She said as Espy kissed her cheek.
"She missed her Mama too. Wouldn't shut up about it." A voice says from the doorway and Milla looks up to smile at her Dad who's leaning against the doorway with his oxygen at his side.
"Hi Daddy." Milla says quietly before she walks to him and kisses his cheek. In that moment she knows that she made the right choice. He needs her and she'll always be there.
...
Author's Note: Life has been weird lately and this story wouldn't leave my head. With season 5 approaching fast I've had a lot of things running through my head and this story came out of that. I'm not certain if I'm going to use these events in a later fic but for now they fit the storm in my head perfectly. Thank you in advance for reading and reviewing, I can't possibly tell you how much I appreciate your support.
