Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed. (This is just a simple disclaimer. It has no jokes, cleverness, or funnies.)

I am Athrun Zala. I am one of the foremost Gundam Pilots in this world, whose skills can only be matched by those of my best friend, Kira Yamato. I saved many lives, but also killed many. I am a dedicated soldier and loyal friend. These are facts, no matter how conceited they make me sound. Many things can be said about me, and among these many is the fact that I am in love with Cagalli Yula Attha.

After the second Great War, our relationship became complicated. I keep questioning where we stand. We are not as close as we once were, and she no longer wears my ring. But whenever I see her, my heart feels as if it were to break all over again. This is why I can't see her tonight.

Kira had called me up, saying that there was urgent business to be taken care of. Normally I would rush to the opportunity to see Kira again, but then, he mentioned that we were meeting in Orb.

"Orb?" I had inquired. I had hesitated to reply. My head was thinking clearly and was telling my mouth to say no, but my heart, my spirit, my soul, my body, my everything was beckoning me to accept his invitation. I needed to see her again. My life force was going through withdrawals. In the good times I had seen Cagalli almost everyday. I was her bodyguard, her friend, and her lover. My life revolved around her.

"Yes, Orb," Kira had replied, "this is important, it is not a time for you to let personal feelings get in the way," he continued in his normal calm demeanor. Because it was urgent, I agreed.

But now I was really regretting it. I miss her. But she doesn't miss me. I still need her. But she doesn't need me.

"Are you sure you want to go?" Meyrin asked me as I exited my room to board the shuttle to Orb.

"No," I answered. I don't lie to Meyrin. We became close friends, and at one point potential lovers. But she knew I didn't love her. And she knew I wouldn't be happy with her. It was cruel, it was heart aching, it was many things, but we both understood that it wasn't meant to be. Meyrin is now engaged to a politician named Mark, and I am truly and deeply happy for her, even though it only reminds me of my own loneliness.

The car hummed as the chauffer drove us to the shuttle that was launching to Orb.

"You knew you would have had to see her again," Meyrin said gently.

"I knew, but I was trying to avoid it." Meyrin nodded her head as if she understood. But she didn't understand. In fact, she probably was trying to change the subject. I'm quite surprised she actually continued to be my friend even though I was moody and depressing to be around.

For the past two years, I have been pining for Cagalli, and Meyrin had been with me every step of the way. The first year was completely filled with drama about Meyrin's growing feelings towards me, and her release of them. The second year, she met Mark and fell head over heels in love with the guy. And through the two years, I have seen Cagalli 3 times. And Meyrin had comforted my tears 3 times. We have grown to be friends, perhaps developed a bond stronger than friends. It is almost as if we are siblings who love each other dearly. Like Kira and Cagalli.

The car finally reached the shuttle and we quickly boarded it. When we took off, Meyrin excused herself to go to the bathroom. Of course I knew she wasn't really going to the bathroom. She was going to contact Cagalli. Even though I have interacted with Cagalli 3 times these past 2 years, Meyrin contacts her almost every other night. Why? I really don't know.

I drum my hands on my knees as I wait for Meyrin. And as I drum, and drum, and drum, I fell asleep.

In my dream, Cagalli was with me. Geez, I sound like a lovesick romantic person, which I'm not. But in my dream Cagalli and I were in my bed as if we had just made love and I was holding her body close, breathing in her scent, feeling her soft skin, remembering her soft features, her bold features, and her beauty. I kept holding her tightly. It was a wonderful dream. In reality Cagalli and I had made love only twice. Once it occurred when I was her bodyguard. The second time we made love, was the last time I saw her.

That is also why I am dreading going to Orb. We had met by chance at a peace conference at New Newport, and when I saw her, I felt my heart expanding like a balloon, when we made love the balloon was blown bigger and bigger, and when she left I felt the balloon pop.

It wasn't like we met and we were suddenly all over each other like rabbits. When our eyes made contact, we gravitated towards each other and talked. We went to my hotel room as a way to catch up, and every second with her, my life was uplifted. We had coffee and we talked, and finally, after an hour or two, we hit the topic of the engagement ring. We talked honestly, openly, and emotionally for hours before the tension just snapped and I kissed her, and we made love slowly and meaningfully.

But when I woke up, she was gone and all she left was a note. When I read it I couldn't believe it. I must have read it hundreds if not thousands of times, and I must have cried a million times more.

But in my dream, Cagalli didn't leave. She was still there after we made love, and she was happy. She was happy in my arms, and I didn't want the dream to end. But of course it did.

"Athrun," Meyrin called. My eyes opened and I knew that the dream was only that: a dream. "We're here".

I groaned as I heard that, and I unbuckled my seat belt. When we set foot on the station, we heard Kira. He had already come to greet us…so quickly.

"Thank you both for coming."

"What happened?" Meyrin asked, "Does EA or ZAFT want to start another war?"

"No, it doesn't have to deal with either party," Kira stated.

"Then why were we called?" I was rather sharp with my response. I had come to Orb, and risked embarrassment and there was no war that needed preventing.

Kira faltered to answer, "Lacus is dying."

It took awhile for the information to seep in. Lacus, the singer, the politician, the Captain of the Eternal, my former fiancé was dying. It was difficult to find a response to that. Lacus had been a big part of my life.

"How?" Meyrin asked softly as she choked on tears.

"A piano fell on her, and that put her in intensive care."

That's when Kira began to cry. All of this was happening: I just learned that Lacus was dying, Meyrin was crying, Kira was devastated and all I could think about was how Cagalli was taking the news.

Meyrin began to comfort Kira and I stood there dumbly staring at Kira. Kira must have noticed my lost of words because he suggested that we go to their home to visit Lacus.

On the way there, Kira told me that it was almost determined that Lacus is going to die. She never woke up after the accident and is now in a vegetative state.

I'm an idiot. Lacus is dying, and Cagalli was the top priority in my mind. I kept thinking of questions: How is she? Is she sad? Does she know? Does she know I came to see Lacus? Does she tend for Lacus? How long has she known? How is she holding up?

"Cagalli is going to see Lacus later," Kira said almost as if he could read my mind. I gave him a half smile to tell him that I'm grateful that he acknowledged my conflicting feelings.

When we pulled up to Kira and Lacus's house, he took us to see Lacus immediately. He opened a door to a big well-lit room, and Lacus was lying in a bed in the middle of the room. She had monitors, and machines, and tubes strapped all around her. As I saw her lying there looking ever so vulnerably, it hit me: Lacus is really dying.

As cheesy as it sounds, I fell on my knees and cried. I cried because it was Lacus who was dying. Lacus was so innocent and never wanted to hurt others. She was so sweet, so loving, so caring, so nice and never murdered or wanted to murder yet she was dying. Lacus is the epitome of a good person, one of the best that had existed, but she's dying. It is so ironic, I almost wish I had the ability to want to attempt to laugh. I kept crying and crying because it was unfair. Kira and I killed without feeling but Lacus, who never would hurt a fly, is being punished, while Kira and I live. But I guess life is a bitch.

Kira and Meyrin helped me stand up to see Lacus. As I walked closer and closer to her, I realized that it looked simply as if she were sleeping. Her long pink hair was fanned out around her as if she was glowing, and her face looked so pale and content. She had scabs scattered across her face, but I guess that's to be expected of an accident. Kira reached for Lacus's hand.

"Hey, Athrun and Meyrin came to see you," he said softly while stroking her hand. "I'm sure they'd like to talk to you." He looked at us and I nodded. I took Lacus's hand and began to cry.

"You were such a good person, you know? You even helped Mia even though she impersonated you. You always had an understanding and wise view of everything, but now…" I choked on my words, and Meyrin had to leave because she couldn't stand looking at Lacus like this.

"It's okay, Athrun," Kira said, but I could tell he didn't even believe his own words.

"You also knew what to do when the going got rough, and it'll be hard for all of us when…when you're…gone."

I released Lacus's hand and Kira and I just sat in the room in silence listening to the heart monitor's steady beep. I don't know how long it was before the silence was broken, but it was broken by one of the most wonderful yet scarring voices I've ever heard.

"Kira, how's Lacus doing?" Cagalli came in the room, and didn't even acknowledge my presence.