Disclaimer: No

This fic was inspired by Miss Higgins' Sweet Arms of a Tune


(.x.)

Sweet Arms of a Tune

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Hold the ones you can't love in the sweet arms of a tune

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"Hurry up or we'll miss the beginning of the movie." Cat skirted across the street and Robbie followed after her. Jade rolled her eyes but did not quicken her pace like her boyfriend. Beck turned around, arms crossed and eyebrow arched pointedly while Tori sighed.

"Come on, Tori, Jade what is the hold up?" Andre hollered from the other side of the street where Cat was twirling her hair around her index finger. She had a forced smile and her eyes darted around the street wildl y.

"Please hurry up," she said again.

"Ugh shut up, Cat." Jade grumbled.

"We're coming now." Tori rolled her eyes playfully, moving the books from one hand to the other. "I wish you would have let me put my books in the car." She whined.

"Can it, Vega. We didn't have time and your skinny arms could use the load." The smirk was evident in Jade's voice and Tori huffed next to her.

"I have a bad feeling about-" Cat started, and then she screamed. She screamed until Beck and Andre broke away from their conversation, until Robbie dropped Rex. She screamed and screamed and she never stopped screaming. The smell of burning rubber assaulted her nose, but she never stopped screaming.

She lost her voice for a week.

She said screaming was better than silence. She said anything was better than silence.

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When Jade cried, she never made a sound. Her shoulders would stiffen and maybe if Beck strained his ears he would hear a soft sniffle and her voice gentle, sweet, low. She would always murmur things he couldn't understand, eventually he stopped trying to understand Jade and instead chose to help her, to accept her, to love all parts of her, including the parts he often wished to wipe away with a clean eraser.

"Why are you always crying, Jade?" He grabbed her in a tender embrace and produced a crude smile when she buried her head into his neck. "Are you cold, Jade? Do you need to borrow a jacket?"

She shook her head.

This was how it went now.

"Tell me what's wrong," he whispered, urgent, eyes wide with panic, with worry. His heart was beating erratically, his shaking hands enclosing her like a glass case that enclosed Snow White. He was protecting her, he was holding her up but she just wouldn't stop crying. She thought he couldn't see her, but she was wrong. He saw every tear that trekked down her face, leaving marred charcoal lines on her skin, making her seem impure. He tried to wipe them, but she pulled away. She was always pulling away.

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She was avoiding their friends.

"I miss Jade," Cat whimpered, watery tears evident in her eyes. "I want her to come back." She slammed down her fork and Tori pulled her into a hug the way her mother had often done for her whenever she was upset.

"We all do," Andre said, taking a deep breath. Andre was like an overflowed glass and Beck was sure he would tip over someday. Nobody can be that strong forever.

Robbie's silence signaled his agreement.

"She'll come back," Beck said, "she just needs some time."

Tori chewed her lower lip while everyone avoided Beck's determined eyes.

Nobody spoke after that.

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"Jade," Beck said, "you need to come back. Cat's a mess, nobody understands why you're doing this, I don't even understand."

"You won't understand." She whispered soft like the gentle wind that flipped some of Beck's hair into his face. He pushed it away with an exasperated sigh and reached for her hand but she took off into a run. "Are you coming after me?" She asked, turning around suddenly.

"Of course," Beck shrugged, eyebrows pulled together, "I always do."

"Maybe you shouldn't." She was fidgeting. Jade never fidgeted.

"What are you saying?" He grabbed her hand roughly and she gasped, her eyes were dull, cold like her touch. She was always so cold.

"Maybe you shouldn't." She repeated hollowly.

He clasped their hands and walked her home, her head nestled in the crook of his shoulder. His heart fluttered once, twice, three times and his lips pulled into a hard smile.

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"Beck, how are you holding up?" Tori asked him suddenly in-between classes. She examined the books in her hands like they were first editions of Jane Eyre (Jade's favourite book, although she would never admit it). "I know ever since…Jade has been…I know-"

"Tori, it's fine. I'm fine. Jade just needs time." Beck put a hand on her shoulder and patted her reassuringly.

"It's just that, it's my fault-" Tori's brown eyes had snapped open and her nose was red. She had a scar on her hand, one he didn't remember seeing before and another faint one on her cheek. Beck blinked and took a step back and examined Tori. He saw her every day, he saw them all every day, but maybe he wasn't really seeing them. Maybe he was- "I'm so sorry, Beck."

"Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault. Jade doesn't blame you." Her eyes were sunken into her face and she had dark, purple bags under her eyes. Her eyes were like Jade's, cold, empty, dull. "Are you okay?" He asked uncertainly.

"Yes, yes I'm fine." Was her rushed reply. She blinked rapidly, "I'm late for Sikowtiz's class," she said, but Beck was sure he saw her slam the door for the Janitor's closet behind her.

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Ever since The Incident, Jade had grown reclusive. Beck could feel her slowly pulling away from him. Her eyes, her smile, the way she chose to shut her mouth instead of picking a fight, they were all signs and Beck was well versed in Jade's sign language. He knew what every hand flick, every frown and eye roll meant. He was holding her as tightly as he could, but she was still slipping out of his grasp.

"What is going on with you?" Beck snapped suddenly, "you barely speak to me anymore. Where is your fire, Jade? Where is that spark? You need to snap out of whatever phase you are in because we are all here for you, we love you and you need to come back to us."

He had never said such intimate words before, not like this, not to anyone and especially not to her. They startled her, they scared her. Nobody ever loved her as fiercely as Beck did.

"You still love me?" She sniffled, that damn mascara trekking down her face, leaving those awful dark lines.

"Always, Jade."

She smiled and pulled out of his arms.

"Homework," she said.

She never did homework.

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One Wednesday after school, they went to Fro-Yo without Jade (not like she would have wanted to come anyway). Everyone was somber, melting ice-cream in all their cups. Robbie never moved his gaze from the glass pane next to his window seat, "Compared to the last time you saw her, how is she?" He asked, catching Beck's gaze. It didn't take a genius to figure out who they were talking about.

"Much better. You guys should drop by sometime, surprise her. She can't run that way, can she?" Andre shot him a weird look but didn't comment while Tori chewed on her bottom lip. She always did that now. Her lips were cracked and raw. Cat's hand reached for Robbie's under the table but she never looked up from her ice-cream. Everyone pretended not to notice their linked arms.

"Beck, I don't think…" Tori stammered. "are you-"

"Relax Tori," Beck spoke soothingly, spooning ice-cream into his mouth.

"How is she?" Robbie pressed again, this time his voice terse, clipped.

"Sometimes," Beck paused, "when the sun shines, I swear I see wings." He mumbled, tentative, his cheeks now stained red. "In the afternoon, after school, everything is perfect and I want to pause it, because she'd be so happy. And when I look at her, I see the shadows of wings. She smiles and they shine, they glow but when the sun sets, they disappear and it's like I can't get her back."

"Please stop," Cat cried, "Beck, please stop." Unlike Jade's silent tears, when Cat cried, those big fat drops of pain and fear were accompanied with a loud wail and a constant pathetic sniffling. The other customers all whipped their heads around but that didn't stop Cat from wailing, it never did.

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That night, Tori clasped her hands together tightly, eyes clamped shut. It was 3am but she was never able to sleep much after The Incident. A wild sob was rising in her throat but she never let it escape her lips. "If there is a God," she whispered, "please help Jade. I know, I'm just Tori Vega and there are so many other things you could be doing instead of listening to me, but please just let her be okay again." Warm tears tickled her cheeks, "I will do anything. Please just help her. It's my fault, it's all my fault, isn't it?"

Her bedroom door creaked open and Trina shuffled in, purple pajamas and hair disarray. In her arms was a pillow, and she was rubbing her eyes irritably. Tori expected her to tell her off, but instead Trina climbed into her bed and pulled her into a hug.

"Trina," Tori's voice quivered the same way it did when she was five and broke her hand. "Trina do you think I-"

"Go to sleep Tori," Trina whispered softly, "please just finally go to sleep. You deserve a peaceful night's rest." The last time Trina spoke to her with this tone was when their Grandma Abby died. Tori was seven and climbed into Trina's bed every night, unlike all those other times, Trina never pushed her away. She didn't complain to their parents either. It was their little secret.

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"Beck," Andre cleared his throat, eyes shifting nervously, "I'm worried about you."

Beck looked up from his sandwich and frowned as Jade climbed out of the seat next to him. They were in the games room where Jade had demanded they stay so she could finish reading her literature paper. Beck didn't both to question her demands- he never did, why start now?

"What do you mean?"

"I think it's time you accept the fact that Jade, she isn't going to be the same person she was before. She isn't-"

"What the hell, man?" Beck jumped out of his seat, his sandwich tumbling to the floor, quickly forgotten. Andre recognized the way Beck's spine straightened and the way his hands clenched and snapped his mouth shut.

"Beck, calm down. Andre's just looking out for you." Jade's soothing voice whispered in his ear.

"Sure has a funny way of showing it." Beck spat out bitterly, pushing past Andre and holding his hand out for Jade who paused and gave Andre a small, sad smile before she let him pull her out of school to his car where he took them to his RV.

"Beck, what?" Jade remembered Andre saying, crossing his arms, his eyes flooding the hallways with a thick syrupy version of worry and concern that Jade had often wished her father would direct towards her.

She wondered if Beck heard Andre, if he saw the worry she saw. She wondered if he could see or hear anything but her anymore.

She dug her nails deep into her palm, wishing she could feel it.

Wishing she could feel something.

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Jade's mother turned up at his RV when he pulled up. Almost like she had been waiting there, deciding on whether to leave or not. In her hands, she had a box of things. Jade's things. "Beck," she said, her voice dry and raspy. It made him wince and Jade reached for his hand. "Here are some of Jade's things."

"Did you want me to give them to her?" He asked, swinging his school bag off of his shoulder and stepping forward to take the box out of Emily West's outstretched hands. Emily blinked several times, examining his face, searching for answers Beck was sure he couldn't supply.

"Do you see her, Beck?" She said, cocking her head to the side. Jade squirmed next to him, released his arm and inched away from him. The sun was setting and the light was illuminating her face, her hair shone and her eyes gleamed. She wrung her hands nervously and she eyed her mother longingly. Beck frowned at the sight, especially when Jade stepped forward and whispered something into her ear.

"Yes, of course I see her. I see her every day." Came his quick response.

Emily's chest heaved up but was then weighed down by words she couldn't materialize. "What is she like?"

Beck found it strange she would ask this, especially since Jade was right next to her mother, holding her breath it seems but then he remembered that they never really had the best of relationships. This had happened before, when Jade had gotten her mother so angry she ignored her daughter and Beck had to act like a liaison between the two Wests. He wondered what Jade did to piss off her mother this time. "Well," Beck stumbled over is words and looked over at Jade. Emily followed her gaze as her daughter nodded, "well she's the same old Jade." He hesitated, "sometimes, when the light hits her at the right time, I swear I see wings sprouting from her shoulder blades."

Beck never found it odd that he would see them shining, even now as he spoke.

"Is she happy?" Emily asked, wringing her hands tightly like Jade was currently doing.

"I'll only be happy when everyone is happy." Jade said solemnly, her jaw was set and her eyes narrowed. Beck hid a smile, this was who he remembered. This was his Jade. Of course it would take a surprise visit from her mother to nudge her back into place. "Tell her," Jade commanded, her eyes burning.

"She says she'll only be happy when everyone else is happy." Beck repeated. He was tired of the Annual West Mother-Daughter Showdowns, but if it meant that Jade was getting back to normal, then he had no problem with it.

"That's great, that's great to hear." Emily sniffled loudly, tucking some stray blonde curls behind her ear.

"Tell her that it's okay. Turn it off." Jade stepped away from her mother and opened Beck's RV door (he had stopped locking it ever since she kicked it open last year), "she'll know what it means. Just tell her, I'm tired." And she was gone. The shadows inside his RV ate her very being as she closed the door behind her.

"She said it's okay to turn it off." Emily's eyes snapped up at him.

"How do you know-"

"I don't. She said you would know." Beck knew accusations when he heard them, his girlfriend was Jade West after all, "Sorry Mrs. West, but I've got to go." Beck nodded his head in the direction of his RV before shooting her a small smile and balanced the box in his arms, opening the door.

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Later that night, Jade reached for the remote and turned off Beck's little TV, much to his chagrin. "Hey!" Beck had protested, a mouth full of potato chips, "Michelle was just about to say her famous line."

"You are too addicted to this stupid show." Jade rolled her eyes. Beck's smile almost split his face in two. "Beck, I have to go."

"You and your mom finally made up?" If possible, his smile got even wider.

Jade sighed heavily, "I guess you can say that. But I really need to go and you need to wake up."

"I am up, are you that distracted by my good looks?" His lazy smile made her heart twitch, and she smiled brilliantly because she hadn't felt anything in a long time.

"I love you." She spoke slowly and earnestly, "but I need to go." She got up and dusted the potato chip crumbs off of her black lace dress and Beck watched them fall to the floor. "Do you understand that, Beck?" She spoke with such an overwhelming intensity that Beck squirmed in his spot on his sofa. "Do you understand that, Beck?" she asked again.

"Yes, yes I think I do." He mumbled, "You need to go." She nodded, "But can't you stay just a little bit longer?"

"I've stayed long enough, don't you think?" She smirked but Beck could tell her heart wasn't in it. "Look who's being the clingy one now."

He sighed as she bent down, "I need you to wake up Beck." She whispered in his ear. She unfastened the pearls around her neck, the one that belonged to her grandmother and said, "will you keep it for me for the next time?" Eyes wide.

"Sure, babe." She placed it on the table. Beck didn't even realize she was wearing pearls. He needed to pay more attention to his girlfriend, Jade was always telling him to pay more attention to her.

"I love you all so much, I love you so much, maybe even Vega and Shapiro." She kissed his cheek gently and then, after running her hair, Beck watched as she opened the RV door, pausing only to shoot him one last small smile.

"I love you too." He said.

"I know." She smiled and he smiled back.

She was crying.

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His eyes flew open as someone pounded on his RV door. Jade, he smiled, it must be Jade again. He rubbed his eyes and then ran his hand carelessly through his mane before stretching and getting up off his sofa. His neck ached and his legs were a bit numb but when he pulled open his door, his smile disappeared and Tori pushed past him, followed by the rest of their friends.

"What is it?" Cat was crying again, but this time she was crying like Jade. Andre's eyes were unusually watery and Robbie sniffled.

"Jade's mom pulled the plug today and without the machines to help her breathe, Jade died." Tori said, shrinking away from him, from them all. She bit into her nails until they bled, eyes dry from hours of crying.

"What do you mean?" Beck scoffed.

"Wake up, Beck!" Cat punched him in the shoulder, "stop pretending like it didn't happen. She was in a coma for eight months, we visited her after school every day without you. You never once visited her." Beck took a menacing step forward but Cat never retreated.

"I tried to talk to you about it," Andre said slowly, "in the game room."

"Beck this is it, Jade isn't coming back." Robbie reached forward to comfort his friend but Beck sprung backward.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He demanded, his voice cracking.

"This was a bad idea," Tori murmured. "We should have never come." On the other end of the room, Jade's pearls gleamed under the lights. "Beck, Jade wouldn't want you to act like this, okay? She would want you to live." His breath even and he choked on the bile rising in his throat, struggling to keep it down. His cheeks were wet although his eyes were closed. "Open your eyes, Beck." Tori commanded.

He shook his head, not bothering to wipe away the tears.

"Open your fucking eyes, Beck!" Tori's voice was harsh, cold, bitter.

Beck did as he was told.

And he remembered.

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"Hurry up or we'll miss the beginning of the movie." Cat skirted across the street and Robbie followed after her. Jade rolled her eyes but did not quicken her pace like her boyfriend. Beck turned around, arms crossed and eyebrow arched pointedly while Tori sighed.

"Come on, Tori, Jade what is the hold up?" Andre hollered from the other side of the street where Cat was twirling her hair around her index finger. She had a forced smile and her eyes darted around the street wildl y.

"Please hurry up," she said again.

"Ugh shut up, Cat." Jade grumbled.

"We're coming, okay. We're right behind you." Tori rolled her eyes playfully, moving the books from one hand to the other. "I wish you would have let me put my books in the car." She whined, turning her head to shoot Jade a pitiful pout.

"Can it, Vega and stop looking at me like that. We didn't have time and your skinny arms could use the load." The smirk was evident in Jade's voice and Tori huffed next to her.

"My arms are not skinny!" Tori protested hotly, stopping abruptly making Jade tumble into her.

"Watch where you're doing." Jade grunted as Tori's books fell out of her hands and her papers fluttered in the wind, littering the road and sidewalk. "Dammit, Vega!" Jade cursed and Tori mumbled a lame excuse.

"Aren't you going to help me?" Tori asked exasperatedly, waving her hands about. She was pouting again and Jade was rolling her eyes again- like they always did.

"Come on guys, hurry up." Beck looked away from his conversation from Andre, his words thick and heavy, hanging in the air. There was an uncomfortable silence as Tori and Jade picked up the papers.

"I have a bad feeling about-" Cat started and screamed.

"Get out of the way!" Andre shouted hysterically.

"Why aren't you moving? How retarded are you, Tori?" Jade growled and grabbed her roughly by the arms, pushing her out of the way.

"Jade-" Robbie was cut off but a sickening thud.

"Jade?" Beck remained frozen in his spot on the sidewalk. Tori pushed herself off the sidewalk, head and cheek bleeding from contact with the hard cement. Her wrist was bent out of sorts and she was limping but she pushed Andre aside and scrambled to Jade's side.

"Jade, please come back." She shook Jade's shoulders gently, stray tears running down her cheek. "Stay with us, please Jade." She was shaking her shoulders even harder now, her voice growing louder and louder, "I'm so sorry, I promise I won't be such a klutz anymore."

"Fuck," the driver slammed his door shut, "I didn't see her." He said but he was ignored. Nobody saw him, just like how he didn't see Jade.

Tori's voice seemed to fade away, Rex was at his feet, motionless like Jade. Beck blinked once, twice, three times until he heard her. "Beck," she waved her hands wildly and he pushed Robbie roughly to get to her. "Beck did you wait for me?" She asked him, grinning widely. He ignored Andre's voice calling him back over, Cat's shrieking and Robbie's piercing gaze.

"Jade what just happened? I thought you were-"

"Beck, will you wait for me?" She cut him off.

He blinked once, twice, three times before answering, "Always."

She laughed, "Or maybe you should let go," her eyes glinting mischievously.

"Never," he didn't hesitate to answer that.

The sun was setting, and the tangerine rays were making Jade glisten. She was shining, glowing; she was radiant. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He wasn't sure, but there was something new about her.

She had wings.

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(.x.)


Hai. I really don't know what to say other than this is for Andy (jandra2010) because we are celebrating 1 year of friendship, you jelly? She's essentially my sister and she means a lot to me. For Maddie (chasingafterstarlight) because I will always be here for her and for Sara (readingrainbows) because she could use a smile, when she pretends she doesn't. I love them all. Jori-ish friendship is for Emily, because I love her too.

I can't sum up all they mean to me in this, so don't expect me to.

I wrote this in a little over an hour or two so some things are rushed, but I wanted to get it out today. Goodbye.