Wherever You Will Go

So, this is my de-anon from the kink meme. I haven't updated it in a while but I have up to chapter 8 outlined and ready to be written out :D Anyway, please enjoy the first chapter. Oh yeah, petty fights spawn the deepest regret (at least in this case).


If there was one thing Alfred would want to take back in his life, it would be not telling his adorable Matthew "I love you" on that fateful night. If only he could reverse the stream of time and slap himself for not only being such a selfish jerk to his long time boyfriend but for also starting the argument that led to Matthew leaving him, for at the time was only a few minutes so that he could cool off. If only he could tell Matthew "I'm sorry" and have him hear it. If only, if only, if only. If only he could bring his Matthew back.

One week earlier…

"Alfred!" A soft spoken voice called out from the kitchen. "Could you help me get dinner together? Alfred? Where are you?"

A blonde, wavy haired head poked its way out of the doorway leading to the kitchen, and searched for what it was looking for. Finding the person, the blonde exited the kitchen and stood in front of the large screen television, hands on his hips and a scowl on his face.

"Alfred!" He barked, sounding nothing at all like the quiet voice before. "Stop watching TV and help me with dinner! You promised to help this time so get off your lazy ass and help me! You could at least set the table and make a salad"

Whether or not Alfred could hear the words being sent his way depended on how loud the TV was and how involved he was with the program. Unfortunately for Matthew, his boyfriend was too engrossed with what he was watching that what he was trying to say.

"Yeah, yeah ok. Mattie could you move a little? You're blocking the TV"

Matthew was absolutely livid after that comment. Screw his passive aggressiveness, he thought as he snatched the TV remote off the couch's arm and smashed the power button, the TV turning off with a loud "click".

"Hey! I was watching that!" Alfred yelled from his spot on the couch, successfully out of his television induced trance.

"Well now you aren't. You're going to help me make dinner just like you promised me yesterday."

"But Matthew! This is the final game! I need to know who wins! I've been following the team for the whole year! I've been waiting for this game since the beginning of the season!"

"Does it look like I care Alfred? You promised that you'd help me! I'm sure you can watch the replay or something."

"But Mattie! Watching a replay is nothing like watching the actual game! And besides, it's my time to relax from the stress at work!"

"Excuse me? You've been stressed? You are not the only one who works! You don't think that I've been stressed out too? I'm the one who cooks and cleans and does every single piece of house work in this damn place even after I work while you on the other handjust sit on your ass after work. The least you could do is help me in preparing the food you always seem to eat!"

The two glared at each other from where they stood, neither one wanting to submit to the other. Matthew was the first one to move, going to the coat rack and putting on his warm coat.

"Where do you think you're going? We're not through here!"

Matthew ignored the other's words and started to put on his shoes, grabbing his phone, keys and wallet too. Alfred watched sullenly as the other opened the door and left, slamming it on his way out and hard enough to shake the pictures on the wall.

While Matthew was gone, Alfred sat alone on the couch, grumbling to himself and an angry frown on his face.

"Stupid Matthew. Of course I do other things in this house. I…I wash the dishes…sometimes and I put out the garbage. No wait, I stopped doing that four months ago. There must be something that I do that Matt doesn't…"

As long as he thought about it, Alfred could not think of what he did to help around the house. After coming to the realization that he was in fact, the lazy ass that Matthew accused him of being, the guilt and shame began to take root within his chest and his frown morphed into a face of remorse.

"I know!" He suddenly proclaimed "When Matthew comes back, I'll apologize and tell him that we'll split the load. It'll make him feel better! He's been wanting me to pick up my share anyways."

Alfred smiled at his plan and waited anxiously for his boyfriend to return, wanting to work out everything as soon as possible. As the hours passed by, worry started to grow within him. Where was Matthew? Normally when they fought and he left to cool off, he was back within the hour. It had already been two hours and the darkness of night had already fallen upon the city in which they lived. Suddenly, his cell phone went off playing the tone he had set for Matthew, startling Alfred just a little.

Grabbing his tiny device he answered it eagerly.

"Matthew! Thank God! I was-"

"Is this Alfred Jones?"

What the hell? This wasn't Matthew's voice! Who was this? Why did they have Mattie's phone? Where's Mattie?

"Who are you?" He shouted. "Why do you have Mattie's phone?"

"This is Captain Ludwig Beilschmidt of the police department. We were called on an account of a pedestrian being hit by a vehicle. We called you because your number was the first one on his cell phone contact list."

When the words "hit by a car" hit his ear, Alfred stopped thinking. He heard nothing of what the captain was telling him as he dropped his phone down to the floor, shock overrunning his body.

Ten minutes later, two men, Captain Ludwig and another officer were at his doorstep. He let them in and guided them to the living room where the three sat on the couch and chairs. They sat in silence until the blonde captain decided to speak, reaching out to Alfred and putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Alfred, I'm sorry to tell you but we were unable to save him. Matthew, he passed away there at the scene."

"Did he suffer?" His voice was soft, like a whisper, like Matthew's.

"No. He was killed instantly when the vehicle hit him."

Alfred could feel the tears start to well up in his eyes. Suddenly, they were streaming down his cheeks as he could no longer hold himself back. Matthew was gone and he had never told him that he loved him.

Present Time

It was quiet at the cemetery. Not an uncomfortable silence but a peaceful one. One that allowed those of the living the knowledge that their dead loved ones were happy and at rest.

Alfred stood alone in front of the grave stone, no one and nothing there to comfort him in his grief. The funeral and burial had long since ended two hours ago and yet he found himself unable to move, unable to continue with the day without his precious Matthew. He sunk to his knees at the base of the stone and pushed some of the flowers away to make space for himself.

The tears he had so desperately tried to hold back now flooded down his cheeks and he found himself face to face once again with the guilt he felt, seeing as it was he who caused his boyfriend's death.

"I'm sorry Matthew! I'm so sorry!" He sobbed, tracing Matthew's name carved in the stone. "If only I wasn't so stubborn and selfish! Please! Please come back to me!" He let out a wail and continued to weep.

As he cried into the gravestone of his lover, out of the corner of his watery eyes he saw them. Two little clawed feet protruding from the side of the rock. Wiping away the tears falling down his face, Alfred stood and looked behind the marker.

A bird, the color of the darkest of nights lay there on the grass, completely motionless. It's wing, Alfred noticed, was bent in an odd angle, signaling to him that it was broken. Slowly, he reached down and picked up the small bird, a baby he thought, old enough to try to fly but young enough that it wasn't an adult. He could see the bird's chest move as it breathed and Alfred wondered briefly what he should do with a hurt baby bird. Thinking of Matthew, he knew that the other would have taken it home and raised it until it was healthy again. Alfred, still feeling his grief of losing his one and only love, decided to do the same.