Notes: So I get a lot of Kurtbastian ideas that end up scrapped before they're even started (WWII AU, like really?), but this one would not leave me alone. The idea isn't mine, not completely anyway, and if you haven't read Looking for Alaska by John Green, you really, really should, but it isn't a necessity to read this. However, there will be spoilers for the book, should you choose to read this first.
one hundred seventy-eight days before
It was a sad excuse for a going away party; Kurt would be the first to admit that. He hadn't even wanted the damn thing in the first place. He was leaving for France in exactly six days, five hours and 32 minutes, and he really couldn't be bothered to think of anything else. But he'd agreed to play nice for his father when he'd suggested the going away party, and he was. He had hardly rolled his eyes when Rachel all but launched herself on him and begged him to stay one last time, and he'd even managed to sound excited when Mercedes showed up with a new scarf and beret to send him on his way. He was grateful, of course he was, but they weren't enough to make him stay, and they'd all known that before even trying.
The thing was that Kurt wasn't even sure why he was so adamant about getting out of Lima, he just knew that he was destined for bigger things, better things. It should have come as no surprise, then, when he seized the opportunity presented to him. It was a scholarship, full ride, to any school of his choosing. He'd talked it over with Burt and Carol, and after careful deliberation and reading over the pamphlets (so, so many pamphlets) they'd decided on Dalton. Burt wasn't happy about it, but once Kurt had talked to Finn, who in turn talked to Carol, Burt had approached him several days after he'd vetoed the decision to give his go-ahead.
This was his condition. Kurt could go to Dalton, all the way in France, if he agreed to a going away party. "Just a few of your friends, nothing big, nothing fancy," he'd assured him, and it would have been okay except that Kurt didn't really have friends. So he sat on the couch between Rachel and Mercedes with a mix of ten of his favorite songs (thanks, Finn) playing on the DVD player while Finn twisted his hand in a cranking motion, prompting Rachel and Mercedes to respond simultaneously with exclamations of "movie!" Kurt studied him, the way he moved, all jerky and clumsy while he hunched himself over hands laying like a visor against his forehead, just above his eyebrows. He stood then, walking toward where he'd been on his knees before, and with a loud crashing noise, the girls stared, perplexed while they tried to figure out Finn's awful attempt at charades. But Kurt was bored, so he sighed while he shoved another chip in his mouth, crunching it idly while he answered "Titanic."
The party (if one could even call it that) wound down around eight, and Finn took Rachel home and Mercedes insisted that she could walk the couple of blocks, but Kurt suspected that she really just didn't want to have to watch Finn and Rachel swap spit from the back seat while they sat in Rachel's driveway for ten minutes. He didn't blame her, he'd been a victim of the Finn And Rachel Make Out Show more times than he could even count, and it was never any less unnerving than the last time. It also didn't help that it was an awful reminder of just how alone he was, having to watch them be disgusting and in love, and Kurt wasn't even sure he'd technically had a first real kiss, because he often times pretended that his kiss with Karofsky had never happened at all, let alone would he accept that it was his first real kiss.
Once everyone had gone their separate ways, Kurt was settled on the couch between Burt and Carol, both of them ignoring the French Revolution (lately, unless it had to do with France, Burt couldn't seem to find interest in it) fact piece on the television in favor of watching him. It was like that expected him to cry, as though he'd expected something more, something bigger. Kurt, however, had known from the beginning that this was how it would be. He tried to ignore the accusatory stares, and instead, spewed his own fact "Marie Antoinette never said 'let them eat cake', you know. In fact-" he was cut off when Burt finally addressed the elephant in the room.
"Is this why you want to go?"
"For Marie Antoinette? I mean it's a plus, but it's not- " Kurt was cut off.
"No, Kurt. Your friends…" Burt left the sentence unfinished, and Kurt knew exactly what he was asking. He sighed before he spoke.
"No," was all he said before he stood up to leave, but he should have known there was no way it would be the end of the conversation. The fact was that Burt was wracking his brain, trying to find anything at all that would be indicative of why Kurt was so ready to leave for France, why it was all he could talk about, and he didn't even seem to be enjoying their family dinners anymore, when he should, apparently, be savoring the few they have left before Winter break, if Kurt decides to fly back home. He reasoned weeks ago that it just wasn't plausible, but Burt and Carol had made sure that he knew that if he ever wanted to come home, there was always a way to get him there, no matter the cost. He didn't tell them, but he was already certain that he'd not be coming home for holidays, and with any luck, he wouldn't be coming home until summer, and even then it'd only be for a couple of months. When it came right down to it, Kurt supposed, he was just tired of Lima and this was his out.
"Why then? Why France?" Burt asked, and Kurt wasn't entirely sure how to respond. So it sounded cold, and maybe a little distant when he finally answered,
"I'm better than this." But the look on Burt's face had him backtracking, because who was he to say that he was better than what his father had built for them. He shook his head quickly, correcting "I don't, I mean-" He paused, and with a hand through his hair, he sighed.
"I just mean that I'm bigger than this, dad," he continued, standing up then to head to his room, pausing to add "I don't know what it is yet, but there's something bigger, something better. And it's waiting for me in France."
