You've been talking in your sleep.
With a sigh that broke the heavy silence of the night she turned on her side and peered at the clock on her bedside. A gift from her brother a lifetime ago, the clock ticked meticulously as the time slid from night to day.
She stared as the arms proclaimed that it was only three o clock and the sun wouldn't be up for hours. Hours of nothing but night critters and her own thoughts to keep the dreams at bay.
So just another sleepless night, lying staring at the faded paintwork on the ceiling wondering where it all went wrong; when had she turned from a sweet innocent girl to this?
The air on this planet was so humid that she could feel sweat thickening on her body, the curtains barely twitching from the breeze and the smell of old dust beneath the rickety bed.
Like a million rented rooms on a million planets, this one had little to recommend it other than cheapness and a privacy that wasn't granted on ships where the bunks were as thin as the walls that separated them.
She pushed the cheap cotton sheets away with her feet and froze when the figure besides her mumbled in his sleep and half turned, disturbed by her slight movements. She had learned a while ago that it wasn't a good idea to wake the man up quickly, his profession dictated that any rude awakening be rewarded by firepower and fists.
He muttered again and she caught half a word as he wriggled.
"Babyg-" the rest was lost as he exhaled, sleep dragging him under again.
Even as she cursed herself she felt her heart give a pang. She knew that he wasn't talking about her, wasn't dreaming about her.
Hell, when he'd nibbled his way down her neck and run his hands over her body she'd known that it wasn't her that that he was holding- at least not in his head.
Still what did it matter? It wasn't as if she wanted the big ape to be thinking on her that way. He was large and rude and…
She sighed, unable to lie to herself for long.
She wanted the big dumb merc and always had.
Everyone told her that it was ridiculous, that he wasn't the type of guy to have any sort of relationship with. They told her that he was a mean hundan and he wasn't for the likes of her; she was too young, too sweet for his tastes.
She'd watched as he hit on every girl in every bar without ever once looking her way. She watched as he laughed with blondes and flirted with redheads and she cursed her dark locks, wondering what her brother would say if she dyed it platinum blonde.
But then one day he'd finally looked up and saw her dancing and she thought that her dreams had come true. He'd seen a woman and not a girl and tentatively he'd approached her.
It seemed to be in secret all the time. Once planet side and the ship's crew had disbanded, he'd find her and they'd make their way surreptitiously to the nearest inn, making sure the rest of the crew didn't see and they spend the whole night.
He'd hold her and kiss her from neck to toes- never on the lips- and she felt cherished in every single way.
But recently when he came to her it wasn't her he saw. She knew that someone else had captured his interest and there was nothing she could do about it. To even mention it would just be stupid and she knew that he'd look at her like she was crazy. She was done looking crazy in front of him.
"So gorram soft," he hissed and she was yanked back to the here and now, watching him talk in his sleep.
He flung himself on one side, facing her and she allowed herself the luxury of tracing his rugged features.
Jayne Cobb was one handsome man. Big, broad and beautiful. He had lashes to make a girl cry and a chiselled jaw of granite. His baby blues, when opened, were so darn deep she wanted to just jump in and drown. But he wasn't hers.
Jayne Cobb hadn't ever been anybody's but his own, but now she was thinking that was
changing.
It happened slowly.
First he had taken longer and longer to come find her until sometimes she thought that he was never going to come.
But he did and when he did he grabbed her hand without a word and dragged her to the nearest inn.
He'd push her against the wall before the door even shut and his lips would be on her, hands searching, touching and feverishly racing up and down. It was like he'd been away too long, had been holding himself in check and come to the end of his tether.
Once he'd been so eager that she was sure he was going to kiss her on the lips in his
haste.
But he'd slid away at the last moment and his teeth grazed her jaw line. His hands reached under her little dress and yanked down her panties, tearing them away in a frenzy. That had been both wonderful and painful. He'd been eager but his eyes remained closed, like he couldn't look at her while he sated them both.
As they rolled on the bed he'd kept his eyes shut, his hands running over her long hair, twisting it in his hands and sliding rough palms down her long thin limbs.
He reached his crescendo almost violently and she knew that he'd bitten down on his tongue to stop himself from calling out a name.
Not hers.
Once they were done he'd swallowed hard, apologising for being rough but couldn't seem to look her in the face.
That was when her heart started to break.
Because even though she knew he wasn't with her, she wanted him by her side.
A sweet smile slid over his features in the dark and he softened, years falling off him until she could see the young boy he'd once been.
"Sweet," he breathed, still fast asleep, "dance with me."
She bit her lip, remembering the first time they'd danced together. Maybe he was dreaming of that, of her. It wasn't like he'd said anyone else's name.
"Mine."
God she wished he was dreaming of her, wished that she could be sure that it was her that was turning him on.
She could feel that part of him twitching as he edged closer, even in sleep reaching out for warmth and comfort.
She allowed it, allowed him to touch her and run those callused hands over her skin until she was wet and shivering from him.
A few months ago she'd been so sure, so damn sure that he wanted her as much as she wanted him but now she knew that there was someone else that he craved.
More than he'd ever craved her.
"My baby," he hissed, his leg winding up to brush hers, his hairs tickling her shaven skin, smooth as she could make them just for him.
He'd once mentioned that he liked her smooth skin, it reminded him of the softest shiniest gun barrel. And while she'd laughed at his romantic inclinations she'd made damn sure that her legs were as soft as she could make them.
It was a fools errand and she had never been a fool and every single stop it was more and more apparent that she had lost against the phantom woman that haunted his dreams and made his feelings for her bubble and boil over, tumbling out of his mouth in a torrent even while he was a sleep.
Because whatever it was that kept him and his girl apart in daylight, at the twilight he finally had her in his arms, touching her the way he used to touch…
"Need you," he whispered.
"I need you too," she finally allowed herself to speak the words. "Don't leave me."
"Won't leave, girl," he replied, "mine, my own."
Then he said it. Finally spoke her name and she closed her eyes against the pain. It wasn't her and no matter what she said she'd never be the one he needed.
That was reserved for the girl with the name he whispered like a prayer.
She'd heard it said that the only time a man told the truth was in his dreams and his had told her plenty.
So she lay there thinking about the man who lie so close and yet so far from her. Talking in his sleep with love on his mind.
Whoever this River was, she was one lucky girl.
Talking in Your Sleep - Crystal Gayle
Three o'clock in the mornin'
And it looks like it's gonna be
Another sleepless night
I've been listenin' to your dreams
And gettin' very low
Wond'rin' what I can do
Maybe I'm bein' foolish
'Cause I haven't heard you mention
Anybody's name at all
How I wish I could be sure
It's me that turns you on
Each time you close your eyes
I've heard it said that dreamers never lie
(Chorus:)
You've been talkin' in your sleep
Sleepin' in your dreams
With some sweet lover
Holdin' on so tight
Lovin' her the way
You used to love me
Talkin' in your sleep
With lovin' on your mind
Maybe I'm bein' foolish
'Cause I haven't heard you mention
Anybody's name at all
How I wish I could be sure
It's me that turns you on
Each time you close your eyes
I've heard it said that dreamers never lie
(Chorus:)
You've been talkin' in your sleep
Sleepin' in your dreams
With some sweet lover
Holdin' on so tight
Lovin' her the way
You used to love me
Talkin' in your sleep
With lovin' on your mind
You've been talkin' in your sleep
