Hello. Ok I know I'm supposed to be doing Invisible Man however this just came to me and wouldn't leave me alone till I had written it. So now that its written I can go back to my first fic. I hope lol.
No I don't own them. I have no money to even try and buy them. Damn !!!!
Ladies Man.
Summery- He's not such the ladies man that he thought he was.
"Severus maybe I could give you hints on your love life. You look hideous like that, you look like an overgrown bat. I mean if I did the right work on you I'm sure you could be almost as irresistible as me. Why I have beautiful women just throwing themselves at my feet." cried Gilderoy Lockhart as he walked into the staff room following an irate Severus Snape. "Who could resist this handsome face."
It was time, yet again, for the monthly teachers meeting and judging by the current mood of the most recent DADA teacher it was going to be a long one. Lockhart was going on about how brilliant, smart and handsome he was, and that could only mean one thing. He was going to hit on another female member of staff. All of whom had just buried themselves into whatever they were doing before the two men walked in.
"Xiomara Hooch you look absolutely fabulous today as always."
The blonde haired, hawk eyed witch looked up from her quidditch magazine and glared at the 'handsome' obscenely smiling man who had just sat next to her and put his arm around her. "Oh Lockhart" She gushed in a falsely high voice "just watch me resist your charms" She dropped the act when she realised that he was too thick and too stuck up his own arse too realise that she was taking the piss "besides I don't think that my husband would like you with your arm around me like that."
"Your married. Gosh. Who's the lucky fellow that caught your eye. A big, burly and famous quidditch player no doubt."
Xio rolled her eyes "No. My husband is that 'overgrown bat' that you walked in with." The flying instructor gave an evil grin and continued in a suspiciously innocent tone "but you were right he is big, very big" and with that returned to her reading as quite a few of the teachers snorted at the horrified look on the DADA teachers face.
"Oh." Lockhart shook his head and moved on to his next victim "Sal." he said smoothly turning this time to the astronomy teacher "You are…." but the tall dark haired, dark skinned woman cut him off she held up her left hand and said a few unintelligible words and a ring appeared on her ring finger. "Sorry I'm married. And what a man" her black eyes grew misty "none could measure up to him in my eyes." She gave him a sly wink and she too when back to what she was doing. This time it was studying star charts.
"Poppy" Lockhart tried again
"Married to Alastor Moody" replied the plump stocky mediwitch. Lockhart's eye's widened as he thought anyone who would want to marry that ugly scarred freak of an Auror "Mad Eye Moody!"
"Yeah I married him when I was 27. I first met him when I was training at St Mungo's and he had been injured by one of Grindelwald's followers. "
"Is there anyone who isn't married here."
Severus gave a mischievous grin "Yeah. Pomona and Minerva."
Lockhart eagerly turned to Pomona Sprout but was disappointed to see her shake her head. "Sorry but your not my type darling"
"Eh. What is your type then? How can I not be it. I'm perfect. Every girls dream."
"Well darling I'm not every girl and your not my dream. More like Poppy or Xio or Minerva or well you get the idea." the witch grinned and returned to potting her rare Aasmic Rosa, a blue and very beautiful rose.
Lockhart looked horrified "Is there any normal witches here."
"Define normal" came an amused voice from the doorway. Everyone spun round to see the headmaster Albus Dumbledore stood there flanked, as always, with Minerva McGonagall by his right side.
"One who finds me attractive just like every other woman in the magical world" shot the golden haired man.
"I take your annoyed response to your previous conversation that its a negative response Professor." was Albus' answer to the question "Now if we could please get on with the meeting.
The meeting started with the usual boring useless junk that it always did and Lockhart was amused to find that with all the shuffling, for some reason, earlier when he entered the room (unbeknown to him that it was to try and put as much distance between the staff and himself) Lockhart found himself sat in between Filius Flitwick and the only woman in Hogwarts not yet to have turned him down. Minerva McGonagall.
And what a woman. Yes so she was older then him but she didn't look it. She was beautiful with not a gray hair showing in her raven hair, and clear green eyes. Well with his irresistible charms and ways he was sure that he could hook her and reel her in. and when he had her Lockhart was sure that he could change her so that she wore better robes that hugged her figure more and get her to let her hair down. Lockhart was sure that he could make her perfect, just not too perfect, wouldn't want to take too much attention away from him.
Lockhart studied Minerva through the meeting. An action that was not lost on the staff that were present during his earlier attempts at wooing the female staff. What Lockhart didn't seem to know was that if he went for Minerva then he would face the wrath of Albus Dumbledore who had been in love with Minerva since forever and Minerva felt the same but they were too chicken too tell the other. When the meeting ended they started to put bets on who would catch on first Albus or Minerva, who would lose their temper because of it first Albus or Minerva (the bets and most definite favourite runner was Minerva with her Scottish temper though Filius did bet for Albus, much to the amusement of everyone else) and the final bet was for what they would do. This ranged from sacking him, to spells jinxes and curses, to a very scary Minerva and Lockhart getting together (Sibyl's inner eye told her that this was going to happen and when had her inner eye ever been wrong.).
It was going to be fun to see the action.
MMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMADMMAD
While the other staff made bets Lockhart rushed to Minerva side and bowed graciously.
"Minerva please allow me to escort you to your rooms. A lady such as yourself should not be forced to go anywhere alone."
Minerva turned from the conversation she was having with Albus to glare at the younger man. "Lockhart I have no wish to be escorted anywhere I am not a prisoner in my own home. Thank you very much." and with that Minerva turned back to Albus to return to the previous conversation about Fudge (as in the bumbling idiot not the sweet though if Minerva had permitted it Albus would have talked about the sweet all day).
Lockhart looked putout for a moment before trying again. "Minerva, really I'm just thinking of you. You should not be alone…."
"I am not alone. Now if you will excuse me"
"Really Minerva I could…." however what he could do was cut off by a sharp retort by Minerva who looked beyond annoyed.
"Professor I am in the middle of a conversation so if you don't mind I would like to get back to it. Thank you." and with that she yet again she turned back to Albus. For a moment Lockhart looked put out. The rest of the staff were finding it hard to not laugh out loud at the scene playing out before them. Suddenly Lockhart brightened.
"Uh oh I think he's going to say something stupid" smirked Severus to his wife. Who had stuffed her fist into her mouth to stop herself from laughing out loud.
"Minerva. My Darling. I am going to make all your dreams come true." Minerva turned and raised one eyebrow at the man.
"What could you possible know about my dreams?"
"They include me" the staff nearly choked collectively at that remark Minerva's eyes narrowed while Albus' widened.
"Damn both figured it out at the same time it's a draw" Xio muttered "That means that the money rolls over to the next bet. Come on Min lose your temper and do something."
"Minerva would you join me for dinner in my rooms. Just you and me. Alone. Together. All night." Lockhart grinned his most 'charming' grin.
"No" said Minerva mater-of-factly and turned to Albus "if you could excuse me I have marking to do however how about a game of chess tonight night?"
"I would love to." with that Minerva turned on her heel and walked out of the room followed shortly by Albus as he went to his office and then finally Lockhart left as well. As the staff room door shut behind him Lockhart was sure he hear laughter.
Well there's chapter 1. I hope you liked it. don't worry the updates for this story wont be that long in between as it is all ready written.
Please read and review.
Thank you.
Weezle
