Chapter One
I hope I know her, if she's ever near...
A blazing bonfire pierced the darkness and sent sparks flying into the damp night. The air was redolent with the sweetness of a Maine springtime. The sound of the ocean roared in the near distance, just beyond Widows Hill, and the salt spray could occasionally be felt, like raindrops, falling softly on my check.
Fireflies danced about on the breeze. The chorus of far off spring peepers in their yearly quest for mates, along with the cries of numerous gulls and the occasional screech owl added to the din of human conversation made for an oddly pleasing cacophony.
We had come together on this early June evening, to welcome home our most beloved Victoria Winters, who had been away for more than a year doing her freshman studies in history at The University of Pennsylvania.
Victoria had arrived Collinwood exactly ten years ago, a young woman of twenty. She had come to act as governess to my cousin Roger's young son David, having made the journey from the Hammond Foundling home where she had spent her childhood. Not only had she come for Cousin Elizabeth's offer of employment, but in search of a family she had never known.
For eight years, she had acted as David's tutor, friend and mentor, but when he had decided, upon reaching the requirements for graduation, that he would be attending college in California, Victoria had taken the opportunity herself, to get the masters degree in history she had always longed for.
I was bursting with pride and happiness for her, as she embarked on her new life. It was a mutual love of history, after all, that had launched our friendship when I showed up in Collinsport a year after she had. But I also felt a great sense of loss and loneliness, for she was going off on a new adventure, leaving me behind, and I feared that I would lose her.
A very selfish point of view, I know, but you see, I was and still am, deeply in love with the beautiful governess who had captured my heart upon first meeting.
She had thoroughly swept me away with those dancing brown eyes, the demure smile and a disarming openness that has so often been absent in people I have met. Her intellect was profound and her patience with my obsession over Collins family history and my many old fashioned notions was so very endearing.
I longed, over the many years of our friendship, to reveal my deep love for her, but careless folly with the feelings of another woman, so very long ago prevented me from doing so. For I was fearful, that if Victoria knew my secret, my true nature, that she would surely turn away from me forever.
An affliction had been placed upon me, for the woman I had wronged was a practitioner of Vodun, and of a particular sect that followed the most baser of the religion's traditions. I had cast aside her affections for those of her mistress, a girl, barely more than a child, who I knew would please my family. Her title and monetary circumstance being much like my own.
That moment of indiscretion would cost me the next one hundred and seventy five years of my life, see the death of many an innocent victim, including my own dear sister and mother, and end with my broken hearted father chaining me in a coffin never intended to be opened again.
But opened it was and after years of living as a creature of the night, I was helped by a most giving and sacred friend and finally too, by the one I had wronged. For she had renounced her powers, and I had been set free to walk once again in the world as a man, not the vampire I had been cursed to become.
Only after my cure, toward the end of Victoria's last summer at Collinwood, was I able to even begin to hint at the depth of my feelings for her, and to my great surprise, she had accepted my awkward and fumbling attempts not only with grace, but with enthusiasm. Little had I known that my love was reciprocated all along.
We had made a promise to keep in touch through the post as often as possible, and what had started out as a letter or two a month, had swiftly become a much anticipated weekly event. A treasured moment all my own, with my dear Victoria.
I would eagerly make the drive into Collinsport every Monday for the purchase of food and other provisions and on the way out of town, my last stop would be the post office where I gathered up the bundle of two or three letters, postmarked Philadelphia Pennsylvania.
Upon arriving home, I would quickly stow my groceries, make a pot of tea, and retire to the drawing room for a day of relishing every word that was so beautifully handwritten just for me. Sometimes, the letters were on fine stationary but, more often than not, on hastily torn out pages from one of Victoria's notebooks.
I poured over each letter with great care and would then begin to craft my response, often starting over several times, like a nervous school boy, with balled up paper collecting in the trash bin beside my desk. I was slowly unleashing the story of my deepest secret, and I was ever fearful of making a crucial misstep in the telling.
Only complete honesty would do, and over time, our conversations grew so intimate, and detailed that it was with great glee, late one night, upon answering my telephone, that I heard Victoria on the other end of the line. Letters were no longer enough for all that we had to say.
"I needed to hear your voice", she had told me, and thus began our nightly calls to one another until the spring, when she would be returning home for summer break. Something for which I could hardly wait...
Victoria was inbound on the twelve o'clock train, and I drove into town to fetch her. In my excitement, I arrived almost an hour early, and had paced the platform, unable to settle myself enough to sit and read the book I had brought with me.
Finally the train pulled into the station, and when I saw Victoria disembark, my heart leapt, my eyes began to fill with tears, and for the first time in my very long life, I drew a woman into my arms, in public and kissed her warmly.
Our drive back to Collinwood was spent making small talk. Victoria asked after everyone at the estate, and we spoke of plans for tonight's homecoming party. She seemed to be looking forward to seeing the family and talked excitedly about the gifts and trinkets that she had acquired for everyone during her first year in Philadelphia.
No one was home when I pulled the car up in front of the big house, and I suddenly felt unsure of what to do next. I unloaded her luggage from the trunk of the car, and helped her into the house, but I didn't know if I should stay or excuse myself and say that I would see her tonight.
Sensing my unease, Victoria suggested that we take a walk down to the beach. She wanted to stretch her legs after the long train ride, and besides, she had missed the sea, and the clean air that is taken for granted along this rugged coastline, but was in short supply in the big city of Philadelphia.
As we walked, I found myself greatly distracted by her mere closeness. By the recollection of our earlier embrace and the kiss that had lingered just a bit too long to be a simple hello. I longed to take her into my arms and hold her all the day and night, suddenly regretting that I had to share her with anyone in just a few hours time.
Ambling, we talked at great length about the coursework she had completed during the year, and she spoke of her desire to further her studies to include the restoration and preservation of historic documents, photographs and books. This interested me greatly, and I looked forward to any work we might be able to do in the future on the Collins family history in my possession.
The afternoon passed quickly and as the late sun began to make long shadows, I walked her home.
"I need to unpack and dress for tonight Barnabas. Would you like to come in and continue our conversation or do you need to go to the Old House before the party to get ready yourself?" Victoria asked, as she unlocked the door of the mansion. "My God, it seems like a lifetime ago that I was last here."
We entered the house, and she picked up two of her three bags, which we had hastily deposited in the great hall.
"Get that other one, would you, and come on up." She moved nimbly up the old staircase, pausing on the landing, as I had seen her do so many times over the years. "Honey, I'm home", she laughingly called out, and we headed for her old room. "Just toss that on the bed and have a seat. I'm going for a quick shower."
I watched as she removed her toiletries and a robe from the largest suitcase, and then hurried down the hall to the bathroom that she had once shared with Carolyn and David. As I sat in the wing chair beside her bed, I surveyed the room. It had changed little from the days when she had lived at Collinwood, and still held the warmth with which Victoria seemed to imbue all that she touched.
Mrs. Johnson, cousin Elizabeth's housekeeper of many years, had made up the bed with fresh linens, and left a large vase of daffodils on the bedside table. The sweet odor of spring itself emanated from them, and filled the room with life and the promise of the long summer days to come.
Looking at her bed, I could picture my love sleeping, her head resting softly on the pillow, her thick brown hair billowing out around her. A slight smile on her lips, as she gave herself over to the world of her dreams. I placed myself beside her, in this scene, imagining what had transpired before we slept.
I don't know how long I was lost to my wanderings, but I was shaken from my reverie by Victoria. Framed in the doorway, she wore the simple blue jeans and halter top that seemed to have become the fashion for young women in these modern and often disconcerting times.
Her feet were bare, her face was scrubbed clean and her long wet hair fell about her shoulders. She carried with her the scent of Sandalwood and musk. Fragrances that brought to mind my long ago summer spent on Martinique.
"You look very far away, Barnabas" she smiled as she crossed the room to where I sat. Bending to kiss me, she opened her mouth ever so slightly, letting her tongue sweep gently across my bottom lip. I closed my eyes and felt her fingers softly stroking the sides of my face, then moving up, becoming entangled in my hair, as she leaned in and our kiss deepened.
"I was merely thinking of how much I've missed you and how wonderful it is to have you here with me now. It's seemed a rather long year without you."
She knelt beside me, took my hand and held it firmly in her own, lifting it once, to her lips for a tender kiss. "I've always loved your hands" she said softly, "They're so graceful. I love watching you when you're reading a book, or holding your teacup, that way that is yours alone, of making everything you touch seem so precious and valuable". She pressed my hand to her check. "I love you Barnabas."
I leaned forward and pulled her into my arms, holding her tightly. I buried my face in her hair, and let myself be taken over by the tenderness of the moment. Hot tears stung my face, and I gave into the urge to weep openly, reveling in the gratitude for what I had instead of dwelling upon time lost...
"My dear Vicki", I heard cousin Roger call, as he entered the open door. "Oh my, I seem to have intruded on a rather private moment". He stepped back into the hall, and turned to leave.
"Roger, wait, please come in", Victoria called "We were just getting ready to come down to the drawing room for a bit of pre-party sherry. Will you join us?"
"If you're absolutely sure that I'm not making a nuisance of myself. Yes, I would love to. It's so good to see you again. Collinwood has been a very quiet and lonely house without you and David."
Victoria rose to give Roger a hug. "So I keep hearing. Maybe it's true what they say about absence and the heart." She smiled at me over Roger's shoulder. "Let's go down for that drink, shall we".
Liz was in the drawing room when we entered, and she was equally happy to see Victoria. She stretched out her long elegant arms and drew Victoria to her, holding her like a long lost child. "Vicki, my darling, how wonderful it is to have you home. This is your home, you know".
"Yes, I know." Victoria nodded.
I poured brandy for Elizabeth, Roger and myself, and her customary sherry for Victoria.
"Let's have a toast", Roger called, taking his brandy from me and raising the glass.
"A toast", I said, "To the ones we love"...
The evening was a long and joyous one, but now the party was finally drawing to a close. Roger and I sat together companionably, warming ourselves by the bonfire, as we watched our friends and family saying their farewells to one another. He watched me watching Victoria.
"If I didn't know better, old boy, I'd say that you are in love with our dear Miss Winters. Am I hitting close to the mark?", Roger asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Very close Roger. That's the reason that Victoria has taken a semester off, and come home for the summer. We've been writing one another while she has been away, you see, and speaking on the phone quite often. I suppose that our distance allowed us to say things to one another that we might not have said in different circumstances." I shifted in my seat stretching out my legs.
"I must say, I have wondered what has taken you so long. You have clearly been smitten with the girl since the day you arrived on our doorstep." Roger gestured toward Victoria, who was saying her goodnight to Carolyn and Liz.
"Perhaps it just wasn't the right time Roger, for either Victoria or myself." Roger had no inkling of my true past and my reason for avoiding a romance with his niece. "Knowing a thing and acting on it are often two very different matters." I told him as I got to my feet. I saw Victoria walking toward us. "Perhaps our time has come at last".
"You know I wish you and Vicki every happiness, as would Liz and David." Roger smiled warmly, and I knew that he meant it. I thanked him and helped him to stand. "Here comes our lovely governess now. Hello my dear, have you enjoyed your homecoming party"? Roger called out across the lawn.
I saw Victoria stop at the cooler of beer that David had provided, and pull two longneck bottles from the icy slush. She sauntered over, handing me a beer and taking my hand.
"I have enjoyed it very much Roger. It's wonderful to be back among family, but I believe, if it's alright with Barnabas, we'll be saying our goodnight. I'd rather enjoy a walk over to the Old House. Barnabas, would you mind my coming home with you so we have a nightcap by the fire?" She smiled at me, drank hardily from her beer and leaned in to give Roger a kiss on the cheek.
"I would be honored Victoria. Goodnight Roger, and please say 'thank you' to Liz for me. I've had a lovely time".
"Ready Barnabas?" Victoria asked, gently tugging my arm.
"I am", I replied.
And we headed for the trail through the woods...
