"Everything comes to an end. So pick wisely."
The Point of No Return
I've always asked myself what I wanted to do after I graduate. Do I want to continue being an idol? Do I want to become a professional swimmer and compete in competitions not only nationally, but worldwide? Or do I just want to relax and sail the seven seas with my dad? After all, he doesn't really come home as much as before. He never explained it to me and if he did, I probably didn't listen. Eheh~
I digressed.
I'm about to become a third year in Uranoshi. I don't know whether if I should feel excited or a bit sad. I'm part of the graduating class this year but at the same time, I'm one step closer to my dreams.
It just baffles me.
Chika-chan and Riko-chan….
Chika-chan and Riko-chan are doing fine. Both are doing their own thing but I'll assume that they're probably together. Chika-chan still wants to become an idol so even though the third years aren't there anymore, they are still six of us. Plus, Kanan-chan, Dia-san, and Mari-san encouraged us to continue and they'll always be with us; it's just that this time, they'll be by the sidelines, ready to catch us if we fall. And for that, we are grateful.
I wonder what Riko-chan and Chika-chan are up to. It's not like I'm jealous; I'm already over that. I already accepted that those two are closer at times. I doubt that Chika-chan would ditch me for Riko-chan. She promised me she wouldn't leave me. The least I can do is to trust her word.
"But trust placed in the wrong person can leave you broken."
I'm going to repeat myself: I'm not jealous about Chika-chan and Riko-chan's ever growing friendship. It seems odd though. They seem to be more acquainted with each other rather than me with one of them. I suppose I can't do anything about it. I don't want to make any problems. Both of them have a special place in my heart, if they leave because of my jealousy, then surely they would leave me.
Ahh!
Jealousy? I'm not jealous! I'm just….grr! I'm telling you! I'm not jealous at all!
I'm over this!
Yō covered her face with a pillow in frustration. She is definitely NOT jealous! Ever since Riko and Chika hung out more, ever since they seemed to be together even more, ever since they just started to just be friendlier with each other.
I'm not jealous…
She's not jealous that Chika and Riko prefer the two of them rather than the three of them (even though they didn't state it out explicitly, this is just another one of Yō's dumb assumptions). She's not jealous that…
Since when did her thoughts go about her being jealous anyway?!
Frustrated, she decided to talk a walk. She sneaked out of the house at 5am. It was way past bedtime.
I don't care. What is this feeling? It's been eating at me for the past year.
Good thing the beach isn't that far. I could also go to Kanan-chan's…no, it's too late or early?
I guess I'll just go to the beach then.
"Always expect the unexpected they say, but how? How do you expect something you don't expect?"
Yō jogs to the beach as a mini work out. If sleep didn't decide to consume her hours ago, then she might as well just start a new day considering that it's technically day time. Kanan would do this every day and Yō couldn't help but wonder if she'll see her friend jogging somewhere. It brought a smile to Yō's odd sad behavior. As the beach entered her field of vision, she entered a walking stance and stopped jogging.
Relaxed at the sight, she let out a sigh. A sigh that was filled with fear, confusion, regret.
She doesn't know why it happened but her stomach felt weird. Something bad was going to happen. Yō knows this. Always trust your gut.
The girl looked around and didn't see anyone that could cause her harm physically. Confused, she neared the sea. The crashing of the waves and the chirping of the birds put Yō at ease. Closing her eyes as she basked into the moment, she smiled. It felt odd….
….to smile genuinely.
To smile without pain.
To smile without fear.
To smile…..without regret.
First she was jealous, and now she's regretting something. Something that changed her life for the best…..at least that's what she's been forcing herself to think.
Across Yō was Chika and Riko, both were holding hands and were gazing into each other's orbs as they sat down and watched the sun rise. They haven't noticed a third presence and the third presence hasn't noticed them either. ō
"Hey Riko-chan," Chika mumbled softly, her head on Riko's shoulder. "Do you think we'll be fine after this?"
"What do you think?" Riko avoided the loaded question and charged back with a question of her own.
"I don't want Yō-chan to feel left out. But…."
"What?"
"I don't know how to fix it…" Chika frowned.
Her words were true. Yō hasn't been looking well ever since they started third year. She suddenly became so secretive of what she's been doing. The only time the façade would drop was when there was a meeting between the six remaining members of Aqours. Though they doubt that she actually dropped the façade when there is a meeting. Her façade might be the one she puts up during meetings, they don't know, the girl suddenly turned secretive.
Chika noticed this immediately and approached the girl to get some answers, only to be dismissed and to be ignored the following morning. Riko was the second to be informed about their friend's increasing sad aura that she has been releasing. The girl was shy so all she did was watch in slight fear that Yō might descend even deeper and might go down for real. Despite that, Riko was waiting for a flash of courage to come by her so that she can ask the girl what's wrong.
It didn't take long till the second years found out about it. None of them seemed to do anything since Chika and Riko promised that they will handle the situation themselves.
"Sometimes you don't know that you're the reason why they're hurting before it's too late."
Yō's eyes widened when she saw Riko and Chika together. Her fists clenched in suppressed jealousy.
I am NOT jealous.
"Chika-chan! Riko-chan!" A forced smile found its way to Yō's face as she called them out like there was no problem at all. Her legs started to run and soon she found herself near the two friends. Both were surprised but welcomed the girl regardless.
They welcomed me? How sweet….I thought they have forgotten about me. After all, their increasing distance with me is just increasing closure for them.
Little did the ash-brunette know that she was staring at them, shocked after being welcomed. Her eyes started to tear and the other two watched in confusion as the girl sobbed slightly.
"Yō-chan?" Riko held her friend's shoulders softly and suddenly, months of suppressed feelings were unleashed.
"I'm so sorry." I hugged Riko tightly and let my tears fall. "I thought both of you forgot about me. You two always enjoy each other's company and I started to doubt if you even enjoyed my own. I doubted that you even wanted me there, you started to hang out with each other more. I'm sorry I became secretive. I didn't have anyone to talk to. Or at least, I didn't want anyone to talk to me."
Chika didn't know what to do. So she caressed Yō's back as the girl in question cried her feelings out.
"I was so confused. I told myself I wasn't jealous. I am not jealous of those two. Even though Riko-chan and Chika-chan are more active together, I'm not jealous. I should be happy shouldn't I? I shouldn't be crying like this. I'm such a bad friend aren't I?"
"You trusted me and I didn't trust both of you. I'm sorry.."
"It just seemed so confusing! I didn't know if you were forgetting me or not! I didn't know….I was confused…. And for me it felt…..it felt….bad. Like a thousand swords pierced through my back and wouldn't want to come out. It was like I was shot a million times every time I saw both of you having so much fun together. Did you really enjoy each other's company that much? To the point where if I were there, it would just end up the same? That I didn't matter? That I…..was simply there."
"I didn't exist…..but I was there. I was there, in the way of your blossoming relationship. So I stepped aside, my resolve was that you enjoyed being together and I didn't matter. I may have been your friend, but you both know that you'd rather not want me there right?"
"That's not true!" Chika immediately retorts back before Yō could rant any further. "Yō-chan, I'm sorry that we made you feel left out."
"Cooperation is key."
"It's okay, I didn't have the right to feel this. It's just that…can you ummm…..not forget about me?"
"We won't." Riko smiled as she hugged Yō tighter. "Don't forget us as well okay?"
"I've always been thinking about both of you since the start."
"Though it's not like we forgot about you in the first place either…" Chika said, looking into Yō's eyes after Riko and her stopped hugging.
"I haven't seen my dad for the past year and it's been eating me." Yō looks out into the ocean. "And then when I saw both of you getting closer…I just wanted someone with me you know?"
"We'll never leave you."
"We'll never leave you."
—
PLEASE DON'T READ. OH WAIT. YOU ALREADY READ THIS.. UMMMMMM
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ANGSTY BUT I SUDDENLY MIXED TOO MANY THINGS..
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Read and review I guess? hehehehehe….. :(
