A/N: Completely AU Addison/Alex fic, set in the first season although Addison is a little younger than she was on the show, I'll explain the ages more at the beginning of the next chapter. I've completed this story (except for the epilogue) and will be posting every Friday! It's 9 chapters altogether including the prologue and the epilogue :) Please please leave reviews! Love Kelly xxx


All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you
-The Story, Brandi Carlile.

Prologue.
~x~

"Get out!" Addison screamed throwing a mug in Alex's direction, he ducked, it hit the door and smashed to pieces "GET OUT ALEX!"

"Adds I'm sorry" Alex said trying to walk towards her "Addison please, please forgive me"

"You said, you said you would never do that again" Addison sobbed "You promised me, you promised you would never cheat again"

"Adds I, I don't know why I did it I just, I missed you and…."

"You missed me?" Addison said incredulously "You slept with some slut from your college because you MISSED ME? Y'know, everyone warned me about you, everyone, but I pushed past it because for some reason I was falling in love with you, even though you're 6 years younger than me and still in college, even though you had a reputation, I ignored it because, because I was falling in love with you and, I thought you'd change but, you will never change, I could get past the first one Alex but now, now I just, I can't, get out, get out of my apartment, get out of my life, I never, want to see you, again" she choked.

"Addison please, I'm sorry, I love you, please forgive me" Alex begged wrapping his arms around her "Please" he said kissing her neck "Please Adds, I'm so sorry"

"No" she said pushing him away "No, no I can't, I don't, I can't even look at you anymore without thinking of you with your hands on another woman and, I can't, please, please leave, and don't try and contact me, leave me, right now"

Alex stared into Addison's tear filled eyes, his own were also brimming with tears, he brought his hands up to her face and cupped it softly "I will always, always love you, and I really hope one day you'll forgive me, I'll wait forever for you Adds" he pressed his lips to hers softly before picking up his duffle bag and leaving the apartment, Addison took one single beat before falling to the floor in a fit of sobs.

~x~

5 years later.

"Hello?" Addison said answering her cell phone as she walked through New York City on her way home.

"Adds? It's, it's me, Alex"

"Alex" Addison breathed "Wha...what, why, how, how did you get my number?"

"A friend in my anatomy class is the kid of one of your attendings, he looked through her files for me, I know that's like a complete invasion of privacy but I just, I needed to hear your voice, I needed to know that, that you're ok, are you, ok? Are you happy?"

"I'm, I'm, very happy" Addison breathed "I got married, 2 years ago"

"Oh" Alex said with surprise "You, you didn't, you haven't changed your name?"

"No, we work together so it was just, easier, so, anatomy class? You're in med school?"

"Yeah" Alex smiled "Just a couple of years left, surgical, like you"

"Well that's, that's great Alex, I, are you, are you happy?"

"Happy as a guy who'll never stop loving the ex he screwed over can be" Alex said bluntly.

"Alex" Addison said shakily "Don't, don't do this"

"I'm not doing anything" Alex said softly "I just needed to know you were happy"

"Well I am, I really am" Addison smiled "Goodbye Alex"

"Goodbye Addison"

Addison hung up the phone and shook off the tears that threatened to fall as she reached her Brownstone, she walked up the steps and let herself in "I'm home" she shouted as she hung up her coat and kicked off her shoes.

"Mommy" her four year old Katherine 'Katie' Alexandra Forbes Montgomery said rushing out of the kitchen and into her arms "Derek's making spaghetti, our favourite"

"Is he?" Addison smiled following her back to the kitchen "Hey" she smiled kissing Derek softly.

"Good day?"

"It is now" she smiled, Derek kissed her again before carrying on with the dinner.

"Mommy?" Katie asked as she sat at the kitchen island colouring.

"Yeah sweetie" Addison smiled.

"Why isn't Derek my Daddy?"

Addison tensed up a little and let out a sigh "Because someone else is your Daddy sweetie"

"Well why can't I meet him?"

"It's complicated, you wouldn't understand, I'll explain when your older honey" Addison said softly.

"But this is so unfair! Everyone has a Daddy 'cept me!" Katie said tearfully "I want Derek to be my Daddy"

"Hey Katie" Derek said moving to her and stroking her hair "I would love nothing more than to be your Daddy but I'm not, but I love you like you're my daughter sweetie, that will never change, I'll always be here for you, and when you're older Mommy will tell you about your Daddy, she loves you very much Katie, she's just trying to protect you, I promise I will never leave you"

"So you're like my Daddy but, I just don't call you that?"

"That's right Katie" Derek said softly "Why don't you go and watch some cartoons before dinner?"

"Ok" Katie said moving into the living room.

"Thank you" Addison whispered, wiping a stray tear from her cheek "I know you want her to call you Daddy but I just, I can't, I can't"

"I know" Derek said kissing her "Go on, go watch cartoons with her, I'll call you when dinners ready, I love you"

"I love you too" Addison smiled.

~x~

2 years later.

"No, no no Derek we can survive this, we have to survive this, Katie needs you, I need you, Derek please" Addison begged as tears fell down her cheeks "We're Addison-and-Derek, we can survive this"

"I can't look at you, I look at you and I feel nauseous. We're, we're not Derek-and-Addison anymore" Derek said with a whisper.

"But Katie…."

"I'll always be there for her" Derek said shakily "But I have to leave, I can't even, I can't look at you"

"If you go now, if you go now we're not going to get through this, if you go now we don't have a chance. We don't have a chance, if you go now, if you go…." she trailed off as Derek walked out the door, she lowered herself onto the stairs, her whole body numb.

"Mommy?" she heard Katie yawn from behind her, she turned around to see her standing at the top of the stairs rubbing her eyes "What's going on?"

"Nothing sweetie it's, it's ok, just go back to sleep"

"Where's Derek going?" Katie yawned.

"It's ok sweetie, just go back to bed, I'll come and tuck you in in a minute" Addison said with a small smile.

"Ok" Katie said moving back to her room, Addison waited 5 minutes before going up to her, she found her fast asleep in her bed, she climbed onto the single bed next to her, holding her closely, needing to feel the heartbeat of the one person she had left.

Chapter 1 – 'When Secrets Unfold' to follow….