"A man is the sum of his misfortunes. One day you'd think misfortune would get tired but then time is your misfortune"
― William Faulkner, The Sound and the Fury
TAILS
I member Sonic goin' to the treehouse and saying he was gonna do something crazy. I can't know I didn't know what he was wanting to do. We all had showed up and Sonic was the leader. He knew everythin' about everythin' and that made me love him for it. I coulda asked him anythin' and he would've answered proper. He was a good boy like me. He liked talkin' about anythin' that came into his head. He was a rodent after all. They all knew how to do that, at leas' that is what I heard. He speaked big words sometimes too. Had a whole library somewhere. His uncle had the rich. Said big words like "unenderred" and "maryadd". I had no brain for big words.
We had all creeped into the treehouse. Amy and me and Knuckles and my friend Rotor. I had told no one I still had Rotor. I told everyone Rotor had gone. He just goned. No asked me how and I don't remember either so I made off with it. He was still livin'. He winked at me when good things were happenin', but Sonic had said he was goin' to do somethin' crazy. I thought he was gonna create a fireball or somethin'. I always thoughta fire when people spoke crazy. Demons come frum fire. They come right outta the ground and end the forest. That's what I herd. They were gonna burn everythin' down.
The treehouse was a little box with a ladder I was scared of climbin'. Not no bigger than what the cats pooped in. We asked Sonic what he was gonna do and he just grinned. I didn't know what it meant, but it felt friendly and he was my friend so I felt unenderred.
Knuckles just nodded his head. He was Sonic's older friend, but him and Sonic almost never talked. I never saw them at least. Knuckles was allways coming around shaking Sonic's hand.
This was okay too.
Amy was as excited as I was! She was cootying at me and I saw her! I felt yuck but she was jumpin' like me! Her dress went up and down like one of those blowing flowers. The ones you blow into that fly away. I was happy to go too. I had this good feelin' bout what we were gonna do.
I member heading towards the forest. I was scared of the snakes. Rotor told me to not be scared of the snakes. People were telling me there was snakes out near the forest and that was why I shouldn't go out here, but I was with Sonic and Knuckles and they were old kids! They knew how to do stuff. They walked slow too. Sonic was usually runnen but he walked slowly into the forest.
We kept goin' deep into the forest and I couldn't see the homes no more. There was a bunch sounds that sounded like birds and some sounded like phones that Aunt Sally used. She talked on the phone a lot. She never knew what I was doin'. Rotor and me always did stuff. He said I was good at doing things. Nobody knew Rotor was alive. He was supposed to be dead.
Amy got her dress stuck on a tree and I laughed at her. She looked funny trying to yank it off. She put a hole in it. She started cryin' somethin' bad. I thinked that dress was for Sunday. She always looked pretty on Sundays and I thought she looked pretty. She smiled a lot. I kept watching her cry forever. She blew it. Sonic hit her once and she stopped. Knuckles laughed but then Sonic told him to stop. I guess I had stopped laughin' too.
We all got to the big lake. There were bugs flying around. There were circles in the water. I thought there was a monster in the lake. Someone had told me there was a big monster in the lake. It had to be a big snake or somethin'. There were snakes everywhere. I had a dream of snakes. Rotor said it was ok. Maybe I liked them snakes. I thought that was okay, but I was still scared of snakes.
I thought Sonic was gonna kill a snake. I knew there was a snake somehow, but there was no snake! He pulled out a thing that made things bigger! We all passed it around. Amy kept looking at the dirt. I kept putting it up at the trees and they looked like they were gonna get me.
I dropped the thing and Sonic yelled at me. He didn' hit me like Amy. He just picked it up and went back towards the lake. Him and Knuckles started going into the water! I started laughin' at them because I bet they were gonna get bit by a snake! Aunt Sally said you should watch for snakes.
Both of 'em started punching the water! Splashin' about and Sonic said he got one. I thought he had a snake. I thought Sonic was gonna kill a snake.
Sonic pulled out a frog! It was hoppin' or trying to in his hand. He had kept holding it and him and Knuckles started walking back towards the shore. He was gonna kill a frog!
Sonic started puttin' the big thing up in the sky, but he held the frog on the ground. I was watchin' him. Knuckles started laughin' bout it again and Amy just looked at it like I did. Rotor said stop stop stop.
Next thing Mr. Chuck started yellin'! And me and Amy and Knuckles took off. Rotor too. He kept saying run run run run. I runned a lot and got back home somehow.
I can't know where Sonic went, but I kept askin' to Aunt Sally about it. She said just to go to sleep. She tells me that a lot. Rotor told me to sleep too. He says that a lot too. He knows something, but I don't wanna ask. I think Aunt Sally knows somethin' too!
SONIC
Yeah so I was fuckin' bored you know? I had this idea I could murder a frog with a magnifying glass. At the time, I thought it was a great idea. There is somethin' bout power you know? It has the death all over it like Rotor.
Yeah with Rotor I saw it. The dumbfuck went out for a walk and died. Fucking pathetic. I ran all over the place all the damn time and he dies in a walk? We're better than that fat fiddely fucking walrus. He played with computers all the time. A fucking weirdo. Every night he was trying to do something with the damn thing. You could see the lights from his house way past anybody goin' to sleep. What the fuck what was he doin'? Probably lookin' at numbers or talkin' to someone far away. It was like the phone but it took longer. Why the hell not talk to somebody? I talk to people all the time.
That's how I got Knuckles into this bullshit. I mean I told him I was gonna kill a frog the hard way. And? That's all I fucking said. And next thing you know I got the dumbass coming down here to see me kill an animal. He had to be as fucking bored as I was. We knew each other. It was worth it.
One time I asked the fucker if we could sneak some drinks from the bar. He looked older than me so we could get free shit and we did of course. Knothole is a fucking joke. As long as you look nineteen you can get the good stuff and we got good with it. We got fucked up.
I knew Knuckles from some weird ass shit where he showed up in Knothole dead. I mean he had this dead look that looked fuckin' funny. I mean he said he didn't remember or whatever, but some doctors put him back together. It was fine because he looked fine pretty quick. I stared through the window at him a few times. I wanted to see if he wanted to do anything.
We came around because I asked him what dying was like and he said "fuck you" and I knew we could be somethin' special. He had a good look about him when he said that. He had the fucker in him. When someone has the cuss it fuckin' feels amazin'.
Tails is a whole 'nother story though. Aunt Sally found him in the woods or somethin' and he survived the way Knuckles did, but Tails had two fuckin' tails which was bizarre. He could fly and shit too. He never talked about it though. He didn't want to, he looked terrified when anyone saw him. Plus the kid got older and talked to himself all the fucking time, like somethin' crazy.
We both found Rotor near the river. He must've fallen or somethin' because his head was busted. Had this blood all around it. So Tails starts screamin' like a loony. Just this wailing bullshit over and over and finally he starts hugging me out of nowhere. He asked why Rotor wouldn't wake up and shit. Asks where Rotor went and shit! So what do I do?
I fuckin' tell him Rotor's a goddamn ghost, and that since we found him, he was gonna haunt us forever. The dumb fox just goes with it. I think he believed what I was saying to him which makes him dumber than he looks and with the two tails, he already looks dumb as hell.
Amy was just there to piss in the wind or somethin'. She showed up all the time when I was doin' anything so I just went with it. So she showed up this time because I told her and Tails about a surprise. She's a stupid girl being a stupid girl. It's fucking dumb, but I wanted to see how they both could take me killin' somethin'. They had never seen it. No one really ever had seen me doin' what I do.
I don't know why I chose a frog, but they were around I guess. They looked dumb with their bubbling throats or whatever it was. Who gives a fuck? I could've killed anything, but I knew I could catch one quick enough. I had done it before.
There was this lake inside the Great Forest. We all walked through some tall grass and walked through some trees. Amy ruins her stupid dress. We get to the lake easy. I show the babies the magnifying glass and Tails drops it like a dumbass. I pick it back up and signal Knuckles were gonna do this. I mean, I had already I had told Knuckles what we were gonna , but he goes out into the lake with me. He probably felt like a pussy or somethin'. Didn't want to look like a little kid around the other little kids. I am insanely fast. I can't even hear my own thoughts when I run fast enough. It's that fucking amazing.
So, I go out there and tell Knuckles I got one, even though I had one before we even made it two seconds into the lake. See? I was so fast no one even noticed I did it. I pulled the dumbass frog out from under the water and we headed back.
So you put the magnifying glass in the sky and it fucking takes the sun and burns shit. I learned it a long time ago. I went outside with one of Chuck's magnifying glasses and burned some ants. Ants are really dumb too by the way. They all show up when somethin' goes wrong.
So I took the frog and pinned it to the ground and I pulled the magnifying glass up towards the sun. The timing was fucking perfect and the trees weren't in the way or nothin'. I get the sunlight going. I could feel the heat from my face being so close. God, it was fucking beautiful shit. The frog was about to start strugglin' when Chuck showed up.
Chuck starts yellin' and even Knuckles takes off runnin' like an idiot. They're all fuckin' idiots. Even Chuck, who is supposed to be this super smart scientist, doesn't understand I'm doing science right then and there. He's a fuckin' asshole. He starts askin' me what I am doin' and I knew better than to answer. He hates answers almost as much as he hates my fuckin' ass.
KNUCKLES
I had committed to Mobius Plan 2002 as written by my elders. The plan was to land Angel Island near the coast and then proceed to understand the wildlife, and see if any creatures had survived the Echidna diaspora. A distant city called Robotropolis, formerly Mobotropolis, had been destroyed and looted from something or other. There were no signs of life from that area. I was able to quickly find a village called Knothole to the east. Knothole was a safe haven for these villagers or whatever they were called. They had their own signs of technology which was a good sign for development and growth.
My idea to enter the village was to harm myself. I was unsure if they had seen a Echidna up close, and I thought sympathetic measurements were worth the time. If they saw a wounded fellow "Mobian" they would adjust accordingly.
I took a rock and carefully sliced across my brow and the right side of my nose. I banged my kneecap against the stump of a tree. My wrist was dislocated over the same stump. I pulled it back until it disconnected. Finally, I dropped my body into a nearby river for what was surmised as a day or so to lower body temperature. This was all before I slumped into Knothole. I was trained to take pain as a recourse for thought. I waited until the wounds looked old. This took two days or so. It was hard to keep track of time in the wilderness.
The town took me in quick and I was given bed rest. I claimed amnesia. There were plenty of visitors. Part of me was worried that they had never seen a creature like myself. There was no conflict. A blue hedgehog who had to be a teenager at the best, kept coming back to me. He stared whenever he could come around. He finally took the nerve to ask me what perishing was like. This meant I needed to answer with something appropriate. I said something to him in the teenager vernacular. I said "Fuck You", and he seemed to respond to that wonderfully. Fornication Under the Consent of the King. He nodded, but it was only with his eyes. I was told the eyes never commit to something unsure. The kid was a fool, but he seemed interesting enough to follow.
Upon further inspection, I found out the hedgehog's name was Sonic. He was aptly named because of his speed. He could outrun anything on land, sea, or air. I have to admit, this scared me a little. Sonic had the ability to do pragmatically whatever he wanted. The only good thing was that his youth had superseded his ability. He had the sense of his skills, but could not see anything beyond his nose.
Sonic somehow had a guardian. Much like me to the Master Emerald, he had something that watched over him. The older hedgehog named "Chuck", which had to be a moniker of some sort, tended to discipline Sonic. I noticed this from time to time during my recovery. The older hedgehog hit the younger one most of the time. Even in the open, there was a power discrepancy between the two. I never understood this because Sonic could have done whatever he wanted, but still seemed to be under the spell of his guardian. Chuck could make him listen to his words. This usually tended to be sign of a beneficial parent or guardian. Somehow, this did not feel correct.
I knew I needed to be able to conform to Knothole quickly. I began to help around town as soon as I healed. Being an Echidna, my strength provided any task anyone asked of. I cut logs, I lifted heavy objects, I even struck down the occasional misplaced robot. I was told these were called "Robians" and they were robotic versions of Mobians. Someone called "Robotnik" turned these Mobians into said creatures. I decided to use this as my reason for being injured from earlier. I claimed injury from sudden remembrance, and most of the townsfolk understood. Robotropolis still had its strays or so.
I need to admit that I am 25 years old as of stating this, but I claimed to everyone in the town that I was only 18. Fitting in, meant using youth as an advantage. If research was to be performed, I needed to analyze without the sense of being a true thief.
Sonic the Hedgehog came up to me after some time again. He asked me my name. From taking his own sense of speed, I said that my name was Knuckles. I have really large hands, so ergo, I have large knuckles. He did not care for my name I think. He felt the need to drink he said. I did not know if this meant water or anything else you could drink. I had only drank water up to that point. Upon entering an area called "the bar" I found out we would be served poison. The poison lessened your nerves. It felt very freeing. Sonic had a problem with withholding his emotions. He kept crying and speaking something resembling speech, but the words were hard to translate. From already knowing "Chuck", I felt there was a sense of displacement in his livelihood. I want to say this was disconcerting at the time, but I felt the need to establish exactly what he meant.
Sonic came up to me later the next day and asked me about killing a frog. I replied with a head nod. It's where eye contact is made and then you raise your head up and down to give an affirmative response to what someone needs. He took this as being friendly and invited me to the treehouse he had. There was a huge maple tree with branches big enough to hold a small shed. It was behind his house. This is where Sonic the Hedgehog held secret meetings of some sort. The strange part was where he invited a mutated child fox and a pinkish female hedgehog. Tails was the name of the fox and Amy was the name of the pink hedgehog. Sonic had some sense of political power that I did not anticipate until that point.
He told us all that he had a surprise. He gave me a look that inferred something else. I assumed it was about the frog. He told the children it was about being insane or crazy. The kids seem extremely interested in it. They both jumped up and down in succession. Knothole seemed like a place of juvenile savagery at that point, but I kept playing along. I felt fascinated by this hedgehog with so much power who refused to use it. I had to make sure he was not a demigod of some kind.
We moved through some grassy areas and then to a massive forest. Tall trees in a western direction. No signs of life, minus the minor bugs and such. The kids tagged along, but what was most alarming was when Amy caught her clothing on a tree. She wailed continually like most kids do. Sonic became disruptive from her distress. He attacked her twice. One strike across the face and then another by spitting upon her. This felt exuberant. I felt there was no need to hit a child. Where I came from, children understood wrong and right immediately. However, she did stop her crying which presumed that shock defeated distress. Amy must have had previous engagements with attacks.
All of us arrived at a lake. It reminded me of Angel Island. It was very similar in its lack of activity. Sonic passed around a magnifier. Amy and Tails used it to gaze at what was the nearest thing around them. Amy was first. She encountered the ground. She kept repeating she saw insects. Ants in particular. She may have thought everything was ants. She passed the magnifier to Tails. He looked at the trees above him before dropping the magnifier to the ground. Sonic panicked before dashing over to pick it up. He checked it the sunlight. It looked to be fine, yet Sonic reprimanded Tails for dropping it before moving on. Tails stuck his tails between his legs. Again, there was a sense that a strike was earned. Sonic did nothing, but Tails remained unmovable. There was not a consistency in Sonic's domination.
Sonic started walking into the lake and I followed. I wanted to make sure there was not any magic in the water.
Within a few seconds, Sonic had already pulled a frog from the lake shore. I think he thought no one noticed he picked it up, but my training prepared me for speed. Echidnas are about strength. The elders always told me to study your opposite. The ideology was knowing your weaknesses made you better prepared. Luck favored the prepared.
Sonic went out further into the murky water. I trailed him. He gazed at me with foolish adoration before he said "I got one!" Again, I think no one noticed. I nodded and we went back to the shore.
Sonic took the frog and slammed it to the ground. He pulled the magnifier towards the sky and then used the sunlight to burn the frog. Sonic wanted to kill the frog in a very torturous way. The frog squirmed around as the magnifier held still. The sun focused itself and the fiery beam had just started before Chuck had shown up.
Chuck yelled Sonic's name loudly. It was enough to where we all scattered. I retreated enough to where I could see what would happen. I had the idea of God in this moment. I wanted to know what God would do against his own relative.
I waited long enough to see what would happen.
Chuck took Sonic by the ears and pinned him down into the dirt. He stuck him numerously to the point of moans. It sounded like what an animal yelps before it dies. I hate to say that sound was not that different from we tended to do.
CHUCK
I used to build things before the war and then I deconstructed something after the war. The thing was, was that my nephew was the fucking war. He was blessed with speed undeniable. He could run forward and back. Robotropolis to Knothole in about 15 seconds. That was kind of the problem. He had to be the predator somewhere. He kept bringing robot parts back to me like a hapless dog or a champion cat. The sense of killing was in him just like his parents. Those idiots died. Guess who was next of kin in a death zone? Me. I had to take care of some asshole kid. Sonic was really good at disassembling robots. He was so agile that he could curl up into a ball and kill things. It started small with no consequence, but then Robotnik came around. Robotnik had trapped a few things and we were meant to save them or at least come to some terms with saving everything except the snakes. Snakes were killers worse than we all were. They killed without thought. Sonic saved those idiots though, so I guess that helps somewhere in the fucking scheme of things?
Rotor and I were good friends. He reminded me of me in a way. He had an intelligence unbounded by idiots. His aptitude for technology felt unmatched around here. That all said, Sonic had some joy in his death. Sonic thought it was comical that Rotor's poor fat ass died on a walk. I'll admit, as funny as it was in context, the walrus died alone bleeding out against some river stone.
The mutant fox Sonic was with felt more upset. The fox acted like his best friend had died. I watched the poor bastard walk with his head down all the way home to Sally's place. She had some kind of soft heart for this stuff. She took the bastard in like some kind of son.
The real thing is that Sonic was planning something after that. He went out into the treehouse all the time even though I had built it. He always felt he had control over everyone. I smacked him every now and then to show him how authority works. He always shied away from contact. I never understood that considering how he acted out. The dumbass would go out towards Robotropolis, and I always hoped he would never come back. He always returned. The same shit eating grin on his face. I could never tell if Sonic loved what I did like he was supportive, or some idiot who only toyed with what I loved. He brought back metals. Sometimes there were parts of circuits or, worst case, the rubber from the wires of something that at one time had been automated.
I finally decided to watch him at his work. Was he going back to the junkyard known as Robotropolis? This time was different. He had added a few others. The bastard and Amy, and the outsider thing. They all went inside the treehouse. Knowing Sonic's affinity for attacking, I followed them into the woods. It wasn't hard to wait a minute until they disappeared into the forest. Children don't check behind themselves. That is why they are so bad at lying.
They end up on the edge of the lake. Sonic and the whatever dip into the body of water and Sonic pulls out a fucking frog. Here's the thing though. He has one of my magnifying glasses. I already had a damn good feeling what he was going to do, but I wanted to make sure.
My nephew holds the frog down like some kind of beast . He waits until the sun comes into the glass. It finally does and it starts burning the frog. It attempts to escape from Sonic's grasp without any ability to do so.
I had to do something so I finally stepped out. I said "Sonic what the fuck?"
Everyone runs minus Sonic. He throws the frog back into the lake. Sometimes I thought he wanted to see me like this. He wanted to be caught by some authority figure.
Well you know what everyone says when they say they're catching? They are sick. Sonic was about to catch me.
He still stood defiant. Like a hero. The dumbass felt strong, and honestly? He'll kill me some day or he'll make it seem robotic. At that time though, I still had the advantage. The father against the son, even though I was no father. I walked up and grabbed him by the ears. It felt antiquated, but I felt I could beat the evil out of him. I had hoped his friends had stuck around when I beat his ass. They fucking left of course, which got me livid. Sort of like "What the hell?" you know?
Any who, I kept beating his ass. I struck him until he finally starting yelling. My wrist could feel its own nerves. I wanted everyone to know what a hero was really like. He was like everyone else, and it was fucking sickening.
He finally told me to stop. He yelled "STOP!" like some actor.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Nothin'"
"Oh 'nothin' is killing real things? You've challenged yourself!"
"Fuck off."
"Why?"
"I want what I want! Why is that is so hard to understand?"
"I just want to you calm the fuck down. I can find you something to kill."
"Like my father? Fuck you."
At this point, Chuck grabbed Sonic and beat him with an inch of breathing. Killing meant killing the context.
KNUCKLES
I have decided to go back. I have enough information to make a final decision.
AMY
Sonic beat me. I want to start with that because that is where I realized I am alive. Of course, this is not in the sense of being abused. I became my own that day. He struck me so hard that I lost a few baby teeth.
He wanted to say he was sorry. This was years later of course. A boorish stare across the street. I took him up on his offer. I looked back at him.
The best part was that he dashed right off. Sonic boomed away. No one knew until we heard the sound barrier kick.
Somebody said that.
