Chapter 1: The Hufflepuff Table


A/N- So while I was browsing pinterest the other day I found this photo of a list of the 50 things that were unacceptable to do at Hogwarts. I thought I could write a fic that loosely ties these all together, but it's mostly all separate drabbles, just with the some characters, universe and events behind them. Just a quick explanation: it's an 8th year fic, Hermione and Draco are head boy and girl, and the year 7s and 8s share some classes, but not all. This is my first fic, hope you like it! R&R please!

Chapter 1: The Bee Covered Hufflepuffs

I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colours indicate that they are "covered in bees".

The great hall was buzzing as usual. Harry Potter walked into the hall, flanked by his two best friends, as usual. "I can't believe it." He muttered to the ginger on his left. "Why is the Hufflepuff table gone?" "And why are they all standing around?" Ron snickered. Hermione rolled her eyes at the duo and answered: "Ron, they probably don't have anywhere to go." Both boys mumbled in agreement. Harry was right, where the long Hufflepuff table once stood, there were now only deep groove marks in the floor, and the walls were dotted with students sporting yellow and black ties. As the Golden Trio sat down in their seats hesitantly, McGonagall stood up. The new headmistress silenced the few whispering students with a glare, and motioned for everyone to stop eating for a moment. "As you have probably all noticed, there has been an incident concerning the Hufflepuff table." She paused a moment, leaving time for Zacharias Smith to shout out in anger. McGonagall ignored him, and simply continued. "Until the table is restored, the Hufflepuffs will be joining the Slytherins at their table. The Hufflepuffs shuddered collectively.

Once they all sat down at the Slytherin table, Minerva sat back down, and the students started gossiping among themselves. There were various theories as to what had happened to the table. According to Ron Weasley, his sister had "accidentally" burned it down after a fight with her now ex-boyfriend, Oliver Rivers. Ginny's theory was that Ron was covering for himself, when he tried to cast a multiplying spell on his dinner, and it hit the Hufflepuff table leg, which then started multiplying. Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown both believed that Draco Malfoy and his gang of Slytherins had sabotaged the Puffs. Blaise Zabini claimed it was his fault for getting raunchy on the table after hours. Luna Lovegood said it was the nargles. And Professor Sprout blamed it all on Hagrid. Apparently he'd sat down on the table, and it has suffered under his weight.

In any case, the Slytherins weren't happy about the situation. Although they would never admit it, some of them were slightly scared of the Hufflepuffs. A Slytherin would kill for his own good, a Gryffindor to fuel his own hero complex, a Ravenclaw if they thought it was the logical thing to do, but a Hufflepuff would kill for the bigger picture. Then again, some of the other just hated the Puffs. At the top of the table, one of these haters was seated. The Slytherin Prince, Draco Malfoy. All the tables had a seating order. The Ravenclaws went by order of intelligence, the Hufflepuffs in their friendship groups, divided by years, and the Gryffindors went up by years, and within those, the war heroes and saviours sat at the top. For the Slytherins it started with first years and outcasts and ended with influential purebloods and the richest seventh years. Thus Draco Malfoy had his place. At his left sat Blaise Zabini, his best friend, and on his right sat Theo Nott, another good friend of his. Only a few seats further down were Daphne Greengrass, Adrian Pucey, Pansy Parkinson, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle. Daphne and Adrian were making out again, Vince and Greg were playing exploding snap, and Pansy was reading a copy of Wizarding Vogue. Draco was pulled from his thoughts by a loudly complaining Zacharias Smith. Adrian had temporarily stopped paying attention to his girlfriend, and was instead holding Smith's hand in a deadly vice grip. "You can't sit here Smith. Blood traitors like you sit at the other end." He hissed. "But McGonagall sent me here!" The other whined. Draco gave Adrian a curt nod. Let him sit, he signalled. "So Smith. What happened to your table?" Blaise lent in over the table. "Dunno. Suppose you lot had something to do with it." The Slytherins sniggered and shook their heads, all missing the look their leader sent over to the Gryffindor table. Or more specifically, to his girlfriend, Hermione Granger.

"Nah, wasn't us mate." Blaise shook his head in mirth again. "Better off pointing the finger at those Gryffs. It's usually them." Vince and Greg finally looked up from their game of exploding snap. "Hey, what's that doing here?" The latter asked, waving at the Hufflepuff's face. "Is it... Real?" The formed asked, as he poked at the astonished wizard's tie. Theo snorted drily, and continued the conversation. "So I've always wondered." He smirked. "Is it true you all grow Marijuana in herbology?" Smith shook his head. Now Blaise looked at him curiously: "But you are always stoned aren't you?" Daphne drawled: "Was I the only one who thought that Diggory guy was an idiot?" At that point Pansy looked up too "Daph, I don't know, the Diggory dude was prety hot. And he could throw a spell." Smith just looked on horrified as he shouted "No! WE DO NOT TAKE DRUGS!" The rewt of the Great hall slowly turned around to stare. Draco, with his trademark smirk, simply asked: "Why a badger? Shouldn't it be a bee?"

Now even Hermione got involved. "Why a bee Malfoy?" From beside her, Ron pointed out that their house colours did show they were covered in bees. "That is the implication, although I am surprised Weasley got it before you did, with that brain of yours, Granger. Although your hair must serve to block out noise." Pansy sneered accross the tables. She was too busy high fiving Greg to notice the death glare Draco sent her. However, Blaise did see it. He'd have a nice long talk with his friend about mudblood Granger later. "In any case, we aren't covered in bees. As you can see." Ernie MacMillan pointed out. "Hmmm, your house colours indicate otherwise. Pity, though. That would have been a sight. Come on, I'm tired of these people." Draco stood up, and swaggered out of the hall, followed by his friends. "I wish he was covered in bees." Harry Potter whispered.