Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or Sailor Moon.

A/N: Minna-san, konnichi wa! I'm really bored, so I decided to write a humour fic, Onegai, don't flame me!

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Illusions

By Angel-Goddess

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~*Author's POV*~

Duo ran into the empty hall and abruptly stopped running, realising that he was lost. Nani? Is this a new area of the HQ? I've never seen this part before!

            "Maxwell!! You shall pay for your insults!!" came the boomed a voice, that obviously belonged to Wufei.

            Wufei ran in like a madman, slashing the air before him threateningly with his favoured katana. His face was red, there was a vein on his forehead showing he was stressed and his left eye was twitching.

            Duo sweatdropped and he laughed nervously, "Oh, hey Wu-ma-err … Wufei, lighten up, it was a joke, a joke! Besides, we're lost!" he finished his sentence with a wave of his hand.

            Wufei took huge deep breaths muttering something under his breath for a moment or two before he sheathed his katana and looked around.

            "Duo, Wufei, there you are, we were wondering where you two were," came the mild voice of Quatre. Heero and Trowa were behind the blonde.

            Duo looked around, still confused, "Hey, do you guys know where we are?" he asked.

            The three then turned their attention to their surroundings. Trowa frowned slightly, "I don't think we've ever been here before." His said in his usual quiet voice.

"Hnn." Heero grunted in agreement.

Duo frowned, bewildered, "Usually the hall would have at least one person … but the odd thing is … we're the only ones here!"

"Congratulations, baka. You have managed to point out the obvious," Wufei snorted.

"Aw, that cut me real deep Wu-man!" Duo pouted.

Wufei unsheathed his katana once more, and muttered his usual phrases of 'injustice'. Duo yelped, and ran off. He ran through the confusing halls and to the nearest room he found.

~*Duo's POV*~

I frantically closed the door; my heart was pounding fast. I gave a huge sigh of relief. I was looking around the room, when something or rather someone caught my eye. My eyes landed on a sleeping figure and grew extremely wide, and my heart felt as if it was doing some back flips.

One thought immediately entered my mind. She's beautiful!! My mouth dropped open in shock. My heart started to speed up, if that was even possible.

I walked slowly over to the figure until I was standing near the foot of the bed. I felt drawn to her. It was like I was in a trance.

I've never seen anyone so beautiful as her! I looked her over, she had such silky long golden hair with hints of silver, beautiful soft pale milky skin, long dark lashes and her cheeks had a light pink colour in them. My eyes were on her rosy luscious-looking lips. I wonder what they taste like. I thought with a devilish grin. My thoughts were rudely interrupted when the door burst open. I whipped around and saw my four comrades standing there.

I saw Quatre and Wufei gasp, and to my shock, Heero's eyes had widened a fraction and Trowa had frowned in confusion.

~*Quatre's POV*~

Wufei had kicked open the door, since he was sure that Duo was in there. And well, he was right. Duo had whipped around in surprise when we entered the room. I then walked over to Duo, who was standing at the foot of the bed. I looked over to see what he had been looking at. I gasped; I saw an absolutely adorable fluffy brown dog on the bed!

I heard Heero's gun click, and he pointed it at the cute dog. He looked ready to kill the poor beast! My eyes widened in horror.

~*Heero's POV*~

I clicked my gun off safety and pointed it at the figure on the bed. What the hell is Treize doing here!? I thought. I hate to admit it, but I was quite surprised that he had managed to get into the HQ.

"Omae o korosu." I immediately said my famous words. My finger was shaking in restraint to kill him right on the spot.

~*Trowa's POV*~

My eyes widened in shock. Why on earth would the perfect soldier threaten Dr J?! His hand is actually shaking in restraint! And one more thing, what happened to Dr J?

Dr J was in bed, his arms were in a cast and he had a bandage wrapped tightly around his forehead.

"Heero? What are you doing!?" to my surprise I had shouted. "Don't kill him! Remember, he raised and trained you!"

~*Wufei's POV*~

I stared at Trowa, bewildered. Trowa was referring to Relena as a 'he' and he said the Relena had raised and trained Heero!? What's going on? I always knew that Heero wanted to kill Relena, that's why he had his gun pointed at her at the moment.

But … What I couldn't understand was why Trowa said that.

~*Author's POV*~

Everyone was looking at each other as if they were crazy.

"Iie, don't kill him Heero! He's so cute and cuddly!" cried Quatre in protest. "And he's innocent!"

Wufei choked. Relena!? CUTE AND CUDDLY!!?? Kami-sama! What on earth happened to Quatre!? And why's he referring to Relena as a 'he'?! Has Relena changed sex or something!?

Heero looked at Quatre in disbelief. Trieze? Innocent? Cuddly? Cute!? Where on earth are Quatre getting this from?!!!

Trowa gaped at Quatre. Quatre thinks that Dr J is cute and cuddly??

Duo frowned, "IIE! She's a Tenshi! Why are you referring to this beautiful Tenshi as a 'he' anyway?" he asked.

Heero looked at Duo like he had grown two heads. Trieze? A Tenshi? What happened to these people?

Trowa couldn't believe it. First Quatre says that Dr J was cute and cuddly, then Duo says that Dr J is a beautiful Tenshi!?

Quatre stared at Duo in slight confusion. He wouldn't go as far as calling a dog a beautiful Tenshi.

Wufei was nearly having a heart attack. "MAXWELL!! Relena Peacecraft is not, I repeat, IS NOT a beautiful Tenshi!" he growled.

The pilots looked at Wufei as if he was mental. Duo gave Wufei a disgusted look. "Who said I called Relena a Tenshi?" he asked.

Duo looked back at the figure and smiled in a cheeky way. He sauntered over so he was beside the figure lying on the bed. "It's Shinigami's turn to play the Handsome Prince in Sleeping Beauty it seems!" he declared happily.

Everyone's eyes widened; even Heero's! They all knew what was going to happen. They looked on in pure horror as Duo leaned down to kiss the figure.

~*Duo's POV*~

This is it! I'm finally going to taste those lovely luscious lips! I slowly leaned over … finally my lips touched her soft ones … I was in heaven!

~*Wufei's POV*~

Wufei couldn't take any more gruesome scenes, especially a romantic and passionate kiss between the stalker Relena Peacecraft and the braided baka, Duo Maxwell. Never in his life would did he think he would see the pilot of Deathscythe stoop so low. He knew Duo was low, but not that low!

Wufei pulled out a plastic bag from nowhere and started to vomit.

~*Quatre's POV*~

I watched in horror as Duo started to make out with the cute and cuddly dog. It wasn't right! I saw Wufei pull out a plastic bag and started to heave. My stomach seemed to think it was a good idea to do what Wufei was doing now. I tapped the vomiting Wufei and asked for a plastic bag. He gave me one, and I followed his lead.

~*Heero's POV*~

My eyes were wide as I watched my fellow comrade kiss Trieze. It was the end of the world! It was utterly sickening. I fought the urge to do what Wufei and Quatre were doing at the moment, but I remembered I was the Perfect Soldier. Trained to withstand anything … anything … anything but this!!!

~*Trowa's POV*~

To say the scene between Duo and Dr J was hideously appalling was an understatement. It was 1, 000 worse!! And to top it off, Dr J looked as if he was enjoying it!

Jut watching them kissing made my stomach churn. I couldn't take anymore of this, so I just followed suit to what Quatre and Wufei were doing.

~*Author's POV*~

The door opened, and they all heard a girl gasp, but they didn't turn around to look at her, as they were too busy minding their own business. She ran over to the closed window and opened it, Letting fresh air and natural sunlight in. She quickly turned off two switches near the door.

She looked at the scene before her, and fought the laughter that threatened to rise. Three of the best assassins were throwing up. One of them was kissing someone on the bed and the other was just standing there, frozen in shock. She cleared her throat.

The three that were throwing up immediately stopped and tried to regain their composure. The perfect soldier was already looking at her, while Duo was still lip locking with the figure.

The girl started to giggle. Duo immediately stopped what he was doing and looked over, only to see the figure he thought he was kissing!

Duo looked down to see …

Dorothy!!

Duo screamed in horror, as he backed away too quickly and stumbled. His fellow pilots looked at the figure and was surprised that the person (or animal) that they had just seen had been replaced by Dorothy. They all stared at the figure in amazement before melodic laughter snapped them out of their thoughts.

A very pretty girl was on her knees, clutching to the side of the bed to support her. She was laughing hard and had tears streaming down her ivory face. She had her long golden hair in an odd hairstyle. She had long black lashes, and rosy lips.

"Ah, I see you have … experienced the 'Illusion Chamber'," came the voice of Dr J as he leaned against the doorframe.

"Illusion Chamber?" asked Quatre.

"Hai, it makes you see things differently, like you may have seen Dorothy as Usagi," he said, waving a hand towards the laughing girl.

Duo glared at Dr J. "I just kissed Dorothy!" he cried in revulsion.

Dr J smirked. "Who exactly did you see Dorothy as?" he asked, curious.

Duo turned red. "Usagi." He muttered.

Usagi stopped laughing and turned just as red as Duo. "Well, it teaches you not to just kiss girls that you're not familiar with," she said with a grin.

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A/N Gomen Nasai if you got confused while reading the story. Onegai, don't flame me if you don't like it! I have NOTHING against Duo, it was just he was the perfect guy to just kiss some stranger that looks pretty.

I don't think I'm going to continue this fic, it seems good as a one-shot fic. But if you REALLY want me to continue … then review, Onegai!

Ja ne minna!

~*~Angel-Goddess~*~

aka Tenshi-Megami