Title: A Royal Night Out

Summary: When the crown Prince of England took a break from royal engagements. He never expected the night to turn out the way it did... STARING: Em-Dimples, Jazz-struments, Pixie-Mystique and Lady-Bedazzled and Ed-Sagini too!

Authors Note: Please accept my apologies as I have had no time in finding a beta due to writing this story a while, while back when off work; and recently completed so not much free time except to post for you lovely people. So all mistakes are my own; and I own nothing related to the Twilight Saga. All recognisable rights belong to Stephenie Meyers.

01)

"Come on cousin. Even you need a darn break at some point! In fact I royally demand you come out with me, Em-Dimples and Jazz-Beats tonight." My cousin and best friend James Valance told me.

I raised my right eye brow at him as I sat at my desk chair in my private study at Buckingham Palace. My legs are spread out, ankles crossed and my hands entwined in my lap, my back laid back in the cushy chair. Sometimes being royal has its perks.

"I can't James-etta. I have a meeting with King Aro Volturi in the morning with my father. I need to be in top condition as the ass-hat is always very critical and well a bastard. I don't need to give him any more reason to deliberately find little things to bitch about me and how I'm not fit to be the next King of England. I honestly don't know why father bothers with him. Allies be damned. Italy can fend for themselves!" I rant.

"Careful Ed-Sagini!" He warned me.

"Well Aro can go screw himself you are entitled to enjoy your self once in a while. Hell even Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle go out more than you do. Your turning into an old man at twenty three. Plus your missing out on sexzin' time."

I frown.

"I'm not an old man, and I have my associates." I reply.

James laughs.

"Tanya and Victoria are old news my friend. We need fresh faces around hear AND you need to get L.A.I.D."

"I can't risk bringing people to the palace James-etta. Victoria and Tanya have been linked to our family since we where in nappies!"

He snorted.

"You don't know what you're missing out on, plus I know for a fact your sister won't be planning their wedding to you, as either one of them are constantly quarrelling with the other."

If I had some kind of liquid drink or even toothpaste in my mouth I would have spat it out.

"Quarrelling? Weddings? WHAT THE FUCK?" I ask him losing my composure and then I thought...

"Do they both know..."

James side dramatically.

"Yes dear cousin, they do. Apparently they both had a slag contents and named off a list of men they'd both been with and when your name came up on both lists... It wasn't pretty."

I gawked at him. Very un-prince like.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Come out and get drunk, get laid?"

I laugh.

"Is that your answer to everything?"

He looks at me seriously.

"Pretty much."

"After the little piece of information you've just given me I think I need a glass of the good stuff."

James looked offended.

"A glass? A GLASS? Whyyyyyy you sir insult me so. Oh no. You my future King are going to get completely plastered and laid tonight so you will be fresh faced for Mr. I'm. Better. Than. Every. One. Else!"

I challenge him, which probably wasn't a good thing.

"And I said A glass cousin."

"You'll need more than a glass after what else I've learned from the delightful duo."

I raise an eyebrow. Intrigued and a little scared at the same time having known those two women all my life.

"Go on, even if I don't want to know, you'll tell me any way."

"Because du, you secretly DO want to know, like everyone else. Which is why I have no filter connecting to my voice box and tell you and whomever anyway." He says seriously.

"And why your always getting into trouble with the King and the council." I point out to him.

"Pffft. I'm just a cousin. I don't know why they get their boxers in a twist."

I smirk at him.

"First cousin to the future King isn't just a cousin James-etta. Now tell me before you blurt it out to the whole god damn club, bar where ever the hell you drag me too... And you're paying as you are reluctantly dragging me out." I tell him seriously.

He gaps at me.

"You with all your finery expect me to pay for you?"

I smirk at him.

"Well dear cousin, it shall be your fault if I screw up tomorrow's meeting with King Aro of Italy. So at least if you pay I can blame it on you."

I inform him.

"Has he found his daughter yet?"

James randomly blurted out.

"Random." I say to him.

"Curiosity is a sin, so sue me."

I frown. I can trust James with anything. But can I trust him with this? He loves women... And men. And he likes a challenge. I know he's also been secretly searching the web. I have a spy in every house hold to those around me, as well as my father has so between us we keep our family safe, and trouble at bay.

James is a good man but he loves gossip.

"So are you going to tell me whatever T and V have planned?"

I ask hopping to sway his curiosity over the missing Princess of Italy! It works as he smirks.

"Finders keepers cousin. I value my other half and have no intention of having him caned."

I am not quiet sure how my facial expression looked but I feel a little edgy now.

"As long as it's nothing that's a threat to my family I don't care what they have planned."

He shudders.

"Oh trust me cuz-fu-King-sir ya will. Just keep little man our of the heat and you should be safe."

Both my eyebrows raise at this.

"So you gonna tell me more about this mysterious Italian Princess?"

He asks me. I roll my eyes.

"No. Finders keepers James-etta."