Pairings: Gaius X Female Robin
Timeline: Modern AU
Warnings: Clichéd situations and TONS of awkward encounters. Eventual smut.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem: Awakening
Authors Note: I really like those fake marriage clichéd contract things so I decided to write my own. I tried to make it a tad bit more original but heck, it's probably been done before. Anyways, enjoy!
.x.
Adjusting her tan messenger bag securely around her shoulders, Robin left her publishers' office with a pep in her step. Her agent had just sold her newest manuscript to the publisher and signed her on for another series. She hadn't expected this one to be pushed through to the contract so quickly, considering her last series (an epic romance between a doomed princess and her assassin in Victorian England) took over three years of rejection to get the first book on the shelves. This time, her novel took a steamier route, an action packed story between a dashing heroine who saves the hero from pirates before things start to get hot and heavy when they set out to avenge his murdered brother.
Her agent expected Lustful Caribbean Nights (title still pending) to fly off the shelves.
Robin held a stack of folders in her arms, varies copies of her novel with notes in the margins from her editor, and weaved through the crowded Ylisse streets. She had only moved to Ylisse a few years ago and the large city greatly reminded her of New York. Her hometown, Plegia, wasn't nearly this large and only half as nice.
She shifted her folders to her other arm to take a sip of her coffee, just as her name rang out from somewhere behind her. She considered ignoring it – after all, Robin is a rather common name – but the high pitched voice which had called her name vaguely reminded Robin of high school. She blamed her curiosity for the following white lie that would eventually blow out of proportion and swallow her in a sea of lies.
Aversa clamped her hand down on Robin's shoulder almost immediately after Robin had turned around. A part of her briefly considered throwing her folders in Aversa's face and running but she managed to supress that thought.
"Robin, it's a pleasure to see you again," insincerity rolled off her tongue. Robin resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
She forced a smile, "Aversa, how have you been?" Unfortunately, Aversa dragged Robin somewhat off to the side to avoid the crowd, obliging Robin to finish the meaningless conversation.
"Wonderful, as it should be. Do you remember Gan-Gan from high school? We're married now and oh he is just a dear. He opened up a branch here in Ylisse to compete with that damned Exalted Inc. that's stealing all of our business. Anyways, long story short, I've been lovely," Aversa said. 'Gan-Gan's' real name was Gangrel and if Robin recalled correctly, he was relatively creepy back in school… that and Aversa absolutely despised him.
"That's great, Aversa, but I really should be going, I have—"
"Nonesense!" the white haired woman interrupted. "I'm sure you're not busy as it is." That offended her. It's not like Aversa had anything to do so what makes her time more valuable? "Listen, I was thinking we should have lunch." Robin's mind ran a mile a minute endeavouring desperately to come up with an excuse out of going.
Robin fidgeted, "Uh, I actually already have plans."
A cruel smirk toyed at the corners of Aversa's lips, "With who? I'm sure they won't mind if you cancel, as long as you mention who I am." Even her innocent tone couldn't cover up her 'subtle' superiority.
So, just to get Aversa to shut up, she blurted out, "I can't cancel on my husband. He's been overseas on a business trip and he just got back this morning."
"Oh…? And who's this mystery man? You should have mentioned him sooner," Aversa chastised, shaking her head in mocking. She didn't believe her. (Not that Robin would have – she's always been a shoddy liar on the spot.)
Impulsively, Robin grabbed the arm of a man who just walked next to her with her free arm and practically yelled, "Oh darling, you really shouldn't have come to get me from work! I'm only a few minutes late."
"This is your husband?" Aversa scoffed, folding her arms over her ample chest. "He looks just as confused as I do." A few people around them laughed, shook their heads and moved on.
Robin twisted quickly to apologise to the stranger and accept her fate of spending a lunch with Aversa, when the stranger bent and kissed her. Robin blinked, shocked, and stood rigid while he kissed her. Pulling back, the man smirked, wrapped his arm around her shoulders and offered his hand to the equally stunned Aversa.
"The name's Gaius," he shrugged when Aversa couldn't manage to shake his hand.
"Aversa," she finally said, shaking off some of her astonishment. Robin still couldn't wrap her head around the fact this complete stranger just went along with her lie.
A charming smile pulled at his mouth, "Don't think Bubbles here ever mentioned ya, but it's nice to meet you."
Aversa giggled obnoxiously, ignoring him – Gaius, "Well I suppose I shouldn't keep you from your lunch then, dear Robin, but I do look forward to seeing you again. Here's my card," she tucked it away in one of Robin's folders. "I do hope we do lunch sometime. Give me a call; I anticipate our next visit and I expect you bring your dashing husband with you. Gangrel's going to want to talk sports." Aversa waved. "Ciao."
Both Gaius and Robin waved and once she was out of sight, Robin sighed heavily.
Gaius let his arm from around her and tipped an imaginary hat to her. "Well as fun as this was, I have work –"
"Wait!" Robin interjected. "Didn't you hear her? She's expecting to have lunch with me and my 'husband'' soon!"
"That really isn't my problem, Bubbles, you got yourself into this –"
Cutting him short again, she said, "Please, I'll do anything. Just have lunch with me and you'll see it's not so bad. I'll pay! Um… whatever you want."
Gaius quirked an eyebrow, "Those aren't words pretty little things like yourself should be throwin' around. But… you have a deal, Bubbles."
Robin's shoulders sagged in relief, "C'mon, let's get something to eat and we'll work out the details."
.x.
Quirking her eyebrow, Robin watched – albeit amused – as Gaius devoured his third chocolate cake slice. She almost regretted her decision to pay for their lunch considering all Gaius seemed interested in eating was sweets and it was beginning to get pricy for a simple lunch.
"Are you only going to eat cake?" Robin asked. An exasperated sigh followed not long after when he grinned at her and swallowed his last bite.
"The first thing ya need to know 'bout me, Bubbles, is there ain't nothing I won't do for sugar," he beamed, signalling the waiter over – only this time for a strawberry cheesecake. Even the waiter was growing increasingly concerned for Gaius's molars.
Her lips twitched upwards, as though she were attempting to suppress her smile. "What a great influence you'll be on our child." Robin's eyes widened as her words began to sink in. She covered her beat red face with trembling hands.
Thankfully, Gaius laughed, "Don't think that far ahead, babe. We just got married after all." Peering through her fingers, Robin wanted nothing more in that moment than to smack that shit-eating grin off his face.
"How did I fall in love with such a moron?" she grumbled.
"It was love at first sight, I stopped you from buying a bran muffin and what a dashing hero I made too, if I do say so myself," Gaius suggested, though his tone rang far more serious than Robin liked.
She rolled her eyes, "Why do I have to fall in love with you first? Maybe I saw you looking at nudey magazines at the convenience store and convinced you to change your lecherous ways."
"Well that addition was rather tempting; she had whip cream all over her p–"
"Please stop," Robin interrupted, turning a distinct shade of green. She may write mommy porn but she didn't want to hear her 'husband' talk about whip cream in such a phallic way.
He smirked, "Listen, you dragged me into this so you could at least have the courtesy to fall in love with me first."
"You wish," she retorted. The waiter returned with Gaius's cheesecake and Robin deflated against the booth. "Fine, you win. I fell in love with you over a bran muffin."
Gaius clapped and dug into his cake. Robin fiddled with her messenger bag. This was not the direction she had planned her day on taking. In fact, she'd much rather be at home sprucing up her manuscript and maybe change a few scenes to better fit the steamier direction her novel was taking. Instead, she was sitting in a café, hammering out the details to the fake marriage she got herself caught in.
"I say we eloped not too long ago. That way Aversa can't ask why she didn't get an invite," Robin said, folding her hands on the table. She'd long since finished her soup and didn't have quite the appetite for sweets that her 'husband' did.
"Why exactly do we have to pretend to be married jus' cause of that woman?" he asked through a mouthful of cake.
Robin pressed her lips together, "It doesn't matter." She paused. "So we eloped…?"
He waved, consenting to her idea. "What else do we have to do to convince her?"
Chewing on her lip, Robin considered his question. "Hmm… get to know each other a little better by the time she calls and… rings I guess."
Gaius glanced up at her through narrowed eyes, "Look lady, I just met you. I ain't buying you a damned Tiffany diamond or something."
"I'm just amazed you knew Tiffany," Robin jested, her eyes sparkling. "But no, no diamonds. I was thinking… Target?"
.x.
Robin tapped her foot incessantly outside the Target, checking her phone for the umpteenth time. After they talked for ten more minutes, Gaius suddenly stood up, announced he had to get to work, tapped his number in her phone and left with a promise of meeting up at Target later that evening to get their rings. It's been fifteen minutes and there was no sign of her 'husband'.
She ground her teeth. All she learned about him was he loved sugar, was a 2/3rd Irish, a lawyer (how this was possible was beyond Robin) and had a penchant for being an obnoxious imbecile. And irritatingly enough – despite the bill that was higher than what she usually spent out in a week – she enjoyed his company. She's not entirely sure how long she could actually stand being around him but she figured it wouldn't be much longer than a few hours.
"Bubbles!" Gaius called weaving between a cart and an old couple. He joined her next to the red concrete balls. A bit of pink dusted his cheeks.
"Let's go in already," she grumbled, "I'm freezing." A part of her wondered why she didn't just wait inside considering it was December but at this point in her day, she just didn't care.
Gaius clicked his tongue and followed the aggravated brunette into the store. His shamrock green eyes flickered over to the candy canes and before Robin realized it, he had gravitated over and was comparing brands. Throwing her hands up and letting out a disgruntled sound, she stomped over to her 'husband', smacked the candy from his hand and dragged him over to the jewellery.
"Stop pouting and I'll buy you a cake pop," she snapped, crouching down in front of the display case to peruse the rings. Gaius immediately dropped next to her, although she could tell he was more interested in the cake pop than buying fake rings. How did he manage to become a lawyer?
Pointing absentmindedly to a pair of simple rings, Gaius said, "Those?"
It was a set; fake rose gold bands for all three rings, an engagement ring with about five white cubic zirconia gems and matching wedding bands. Staring at the rings for an unnecessarily long time, Robin finally nodded. They were pretty – for fake, twenty-five dollar rings.
"Excuse me," Robin addressed the sales associate. The woman quickly hurried over to the couple with a large, phony smile on her face.
"What can I do for you… sir?" she drawled, brushing her fingers over the glass and her eyes scanned Gaius.
Robin smiled sweetly, though the slight curl to her lip threw off the whole innocent thing she was going for. This woman literally had no reason to be so dismissive of her.
"Can we see those rings? I'm sure you have them in lots of sizes, right?" Robin inquired tightly. The woman turned her attention to Robin.
"Of course," she shrilled and unlocked the case. Robin peered at Gaius.
He held up his hands innocently.
She rolled her eyes, "Do you have an idea of what your ring size is?"
"Do you?" he countered, dropping his hands to the counter top. The sales woman – whose name tag read Alyssa – placed an assortment of the same rings on the counter. Robin reached out for the 6, unsure of her size now that she thought about it. Sliding it on her finger, she realized it was way too large.
Snickering Gaius snatched an 8 and lo and behold, it fit him perfectly. Groaning, Robin tried the next size down and it was still slightly too big.
Flushing, she fit the 4.5 on her finger perfectly. Until now, she didn't realize her hands were this small. She held her hand up to the light, admiring the sparkle from the rings.
Gaius snatched her hand out of the air, smirking. He pressed their palms together and curled his fingers overtop of hers. "Your hands are really small," he sang.
Feeling her face grow even warmer, she took her hand back and slid the rings from her finger. "We'll take these." Robin dug around in her purse while Alyssa eyed them suspiciously.
"Why are you two buying fake wedding rings?"
"Because we're cheap and didn't want to buy real rings?" Robin replied sarcastically. "Why do you think?" She paused. "Didn't your manager ever teach you to mind your own business?"
Gaius flicked the side of her head, "Reel it back in there, Bubbles." He smiled apologetically to Alyssa. "Excuse her, she hasn't had her daily dose of sugar and gets a little grumpy when she doesn't." Robin kicked him in the shin. He grimaced, emphasising his original point further.
Alyssa nodded understandingly and rang their purchase through. Robin forked over the money, shaking her head when Alyssa offered them a bag. As they walked away, Robin handed Gaius his ring.
"Thanks," she said suddenly. Gaius glanced down at her, a smile growing on his handsome face.
"Nah, don't mention it," he told her sincerely, slipping the ring in place. "The unlimited cake is really worth it."
For what felt like the hundredth time that day, Robin rolled her eyes and adjusted the rings on her finger. Her phone buzzed deafeningly in her bag and she yanked it out.
"Hello?"
"Robin, darling, it's Aversa."
Her eyes widened. Gaius wandered over the candy, giving her privacy. "How did you get my number? I haven't even called you yet."
"Gan-Gan has amazing connections. Anyways, I just found out that we'll be in Bali for the next month or so and I insist that we have lunch sooner rather than later."
"You don't have to do that –"
"So Gan-Gan and I will see you and your husband tomorrow at the NoMad – don't worry, we'll pay. See you at noon sharp!" a beep followed and then silence. Despairingly, Robin held her phone and willed Aversa to call back and cancel. A moment later Robin realized it was futile (and she was being a moron) and shuffled over to Gaius.
He had a stack of candy canes and lollipops in his arms. He arched his eyebrow.
"I hope you're free tomorrow at lunch," Robin said tiredly. "Aversa just called and informed me we have lunch plans tomorrow."
"You're lucky my boss is such an understanding guy," Gaius jested, snagging another bag of caramels.
Robin wrinkled her nose. "Do you like fancy food?"
.x.
"Niiiiiice," Gaius drawled, shifting the lollipop to the other side of his mouth. Robin winced at the distinct click the hard candy made against his teeth.
She glanced down at her outfit – a lacy indigo dress with sheer shoulders and a black belt around her waist. A pair of black flats accompanied her somewhat formal dress and the fake wedding rings felt foreign on her hand. Her chestnut brown hair tumbled passed her shoulders in waves. Her gaze flickered up to meet his.
"You clean up nicely yourself," she remarked, sliding her arm through his. He wore a black suit with a navy blue tie. His ginger hair had been gelled back, though a few stray strands still fell in his face.
Gaius chuckled and led her into the restaurant. They gave Aversa and Gangrel's name to the receptionist who led them to a semi-secluded table with a gorgeous view of Ylisse.
Aversa stood to greet them, wearing a devilishly low cut crimson red dress that clung to every curve Aversa owned. She put on a show of kissing Robin's cheeks.
"Don't you look just adorable?" she chirped, sweeping her hand out to let them sit down at the table. "Your ring is simply you."
Surprisingly – at least for Robin – Gaius pulled her chair out for her. She muttered a quick thank you and sat down.
"You look lovely as well, Aversa," Robin quipped and if Aversa noticed the peeved undertone, she didn't mention it.
Gangrel had barely glanced up from his phone since they showed up.
"I believe introductions are in order. Gangrel dear, you remember Robin, this is her husband Gaius…?" Aversa trailed off, remembering she didn't know Gaius's last name.
"Flanagan," Gaius supplied, taking a sip of water, casually hiding his lollipop stick under his napkin.
"Ah, yes, Gaius Flanagan," Aversa purred. Robin felt a shiver of disgust run down her spine.
This seemed to interest Gangrel. He looked up for the first time since they sat down. "Do you happen to work for Exalted Inc.?"
"Directly under ol'Blue," Gaius said, a touch of pride to his voice. His face scrunched up ever so slightly, as though it clicked who he was talking to. "Ah, you're the CEO of King Enterprise?"
Sipping his whiskey, Gangrel merely mused, "Indeed."
Awkwardly, Robin fumbled for a topic. Too bad Aversa beat her to it. "So how did you meet our lovely Robin here?"
"She was going to buy a bran muffin at the shop on 60th and I talked her out of it. Naturally, she was head over heels for me since," Gaius declared, winking secretively at Robin. She kicked him. She almost couldn't believe he used that lie. Almost.
Aversa giggled obnoxiously loud. She squeezed Gangrel's forearm, although he was preoccupied by whatever was on his phone – which was evidently far more amusing than the conversation happening around him.
"So… when did you two get married?"
Before either of them could provide the lie they agreed on, a fifth voice Robin had never heard before interjected. Gaius stiffened visibly.
"I'd like to know that too," a blue haired man added, walking up to the table with a gorgeous ash-haired woman on his arm. "I would have thought you would have told your boss of all people that you decided to get married."
Robin's stomach twisted. Everything was going to be ruined and she'd never hear the end of it.
"Wait, Blue – I can explain!" Gaius tripped over his own words. "We eloped!"
"A week ago!" Robin added, nervously glancing at Aversa and Gangrel. A slight, closed lipped smile found Aversa's face and Gangrel glared at Gaius's boss with open disgust.
The intruder smiled at Robin briefly before returning his displeased eyes to Gaius. "That's nice and all, but when were you going to tell me you had a girlfriend in the first place?"
Fuuuuuuck.
I really shouldn't be starting another series until I finish all my other ones but I'm pretty much blocked on all of those ones and this plot bunny wouldn't go away until I wrote it. I've always been curious to try out my own fake marriage thing with high copious amounts of clichés and awkward situations. (Plus I don't think I've ever seen them buying rings before they're 'married'.) Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the first overly clichéd chapter and look forward to more in the future!
~Emerald~
