Peach hummed a happy tune while tying a pink apron around her waist. She then tied the other half around her neck, officially protecting herself from any messes that were to come her way. She was in the kitchen after boredom had attacked and shook the life out of her. The Princess decided that cooking would entertain her and she was right. It was her favorite pastime, but what to make: it got her thinking.
What should she make? A cake? Nah, she already makes enough of those for Mario. Cookies? Too simple. Cream Puffs? That seemed fun and challenging enough. Peach started on the dough for the puffs, grabbing all of the materials she needed. She would stop every now and then, placing a finger upon her chin and looking towards the ceiling, hoping that the ingredient she was missing would just fall from the sky.
While the idle blonde thought to herself, Ganondorf, the King of Evil, stalked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He then sat down at a table meant for 6. This table was meant for private conversations or just when someone felt like being alone in the kitchen. The green-skinned god flipped through a random magazine. On the cover was Lucas & Ness, posing for the camera. The two boys held their baseball bats out and grinned, Lucas looking a little more nervous than usual.
Peach began her cooking, preparing the dough to be baked. She mixed the ingredients into a large wooden bowl, going over the recipe over and over and over again in her head. She then picked up the flour and tried to tug it open. The Princess pulled and pulled but the stubborn bag refused to open.
"Aww, come on now..." the blonde whined, pulling on the sides of the bag of powder.
She then looked around the kitchen, hoping she could spot someone strong enough to force the bag open. It was then that she spotted the green-skinned god relaxing at the small table behind her, indulging himself in a Smash Magazine and a cup of black coffee.
"Um... excuse me, Ganondorf?" Peach called, stepping over to the table. "Could you open this flour for me?"
The King Of Evil glanced up at the Princess then set down his coffee. He took the heavy bag from her, grabbing the edges that she'd grabbed once before. He pulled the bag open with little to no effort. The bag coughed out small bits of flour, but not enough to get either of the two messy. He handed the beg back to the woman and she grinned.
"Thank you!" Peach returned to her cooking over at the marble counter.
After making the dough and pre-heating the oven, she put the dough balls in, closing the oven behind her. Next, she started on the whipped cream. Peach wanted to make her own, so she did, adding a bit of red food coloring to the cream to turn it a pastel pink.
The Princess mixed vastly, not even bothering to taste the substance that would complete her cream puffs. She had bits of flour all over her face and unfinished whipped cream dotted her wrists. She stopped mixing to relax her aching hands for a few seconds, satisfied with her work. Glancing over at the timer, 15 minutes had already passed.
"Almost done..." Peach whispered to no one in particular, leaning on the counter in front of her.
A big, bulky shadow was cast over her and she turned around to Ganondorf.
"Hello there... is there something you need?" she questioned, tilting her head almost all the way back to look into the face of the king.
He said nothing, lifting a frightening hand and reaching towards her. Peach's mind went into overdrive, wondering what he was reaching for. Was he going to hit her? Grope her? What was he reaching for? Ganondorf's hand got closer to her face and she panicked, shutting her azure eyes, bracing herself for what was to come.
Nothing seemed to have happened.
She first peeked open one eye, looking at the god in wonder. He had a finger in his mouth and his eyes were aimed towards the ceiling. Ganon removed his finger from between his lips then, glared down at the Princess.
"Bland."
Peach was startled. Amazed, but startled! She opened both of her eyes.
"Bland?" she wondered.
"Your cream is bland." With that, he began his stride towards one of the many ovens that were on the wall.
On his way there, he picked up an orange oven mitt from the marble counter and opened an oven. He placed the mitt on his left hand and reached into the hot contents of the stove, receiving the golden brown puffs. The King placed them on the counter after closing the steaming hot stove.
Ganondorf pointed a finger at Peach, then signaled her over. The Princess perked up with realization, bringing the now ready and sweetened cream to the God. She jogged down to the other end of the lengthy counter, her heels clacking against the tile floor. She stopped by his side, watching as he delicately cut open one of the dough balls and carved out some of the insides of the bottom half.
The breading was then passed to her, and she filled the inside with the pink whipped cream, placing the top half onto it afterwards. The cycle repeated itself 25 times. Cut, carve, pass, fill fill, top, place on nearby plate. Cut, carve, pass, fill fill, top, place on nearby plate. And so on and so forth. After all was said and done, the duo waited in an awkward silence for the cream puffs to cool down.
Peach would look at Ganondorf and he'd look away.
Ganondorf would look at Peach and she'd look away.
They bakers avoided each other's eyes, waiting for the small white timer between them to ring. Waiting in silence began to get agonizing for the blonde and she opened her mouth, ready to begin a conversation.
"So, um... How ar-"
RIIIIIING!
The timer went off and Peach squealed with delight, reaching a gloveless hand over to the plate of cream puffs. She picked one up and bit into it, her eyes going wide to the sudden burst of flavor. She chewed gently, already tempted to take another bite. Ganondorf stared down at her, watching her stuff her tiny face. His lower eyelid twitched. That... that pink cream... on the edge of her lip. It had to be destroyed.
Ganon glanced around the room, looking for something to wipe her mouth with. He spotted a stack of napkins on the counter and took one, eyeing his target. The tall man reached down, gently wiping the cream from the side of the girl's mouth. She stared up at him wide-eyed, her cheeks still full of pastry goodness.
Peach decided to dismiss the awkward wiping of her mouth, looking at the half eaten cream puff in her hand. She then gawked up at the King, holding the puff towards his face silently offering him a bite. He wrinkled his nose in disgust, raising an eyebrow. Eww. The redhead had to decide quick. Should he take a bite and make her happy? Or refuse and turn his head away?
He wasn't particularly nice, so said the shriveled up heart in his chest; yet he couldn't bring himself to say 'no' to the Princess. He'd defied princesses before, but the way Peach had looked up at him with those big, adorable eyes with the long eyelashes and lightly applied mascara made him make his decision.
He opened his mouth gently, leaning down just a tad towards the cream puff. He hated sweets. Absolutely hated them. But a small bite wouldn't hurt, would it?
"Uh oh."
Ganondorf watched as the blonde glanced behind him towards the wall of stoves. The one that they'd cooked the puffs in was beginning to steam and shake violently. They'd forgotten to turn it off. Peach skipped over to the oven, extending a hand towards the knob to turn it off. The Gerudo snapped into action, sprinting behind the woman and grabbing her wrist as gently as possible.
He tugged her away from the oven and she toppled to the floor, dropping her half-eaten puff.
"Ah! That hurt!" Peach whimpered, rubbing her wrist.
Suddenly, Ganondorf loomed over her and she gave a small 'huh?' before a flash of light engulfed the kitchen.
One explosion came after another as the stove exploded, capturing all of the other idle ovens in the blast. All of the ovens exploded, destroying the kitchen. Two figures were sent into the air towards the afternoon sky, one screaming in fear, the other not even afraid of the blast.
Nothing of the kitchen remained, but the rest of the mansion remained standing tall. Bits of burning wood and metal dropped to the grassy ground, some bouncing once or twice from the impact. The walls of the kitchen had been blown down and a black blanket of ash covered the once shiny tile floor.
From the sky drifted down our two bakers. Peach held onto her open parasol, floating down to safety. Hanging onto her left leg was Ganondorf, keeping his eyes shifted down to avoid peeking up the woman's dress. The King's feet touched the ground and he stood tall. He held up a hand, which Peach sat in, placing her still open parasol onto her shoulder.
The two observed the mess they'd made, watching bits and pieces fall to the ground like rain.
"Ganondorf?" The God made no reply, but Peach knew he was listening. "I wonder what happened to the cream puffs.'
A cream puff hit the grass in front of them with a sickening splat and the Princess leaned over to the God, holding her parasol over their heads. She drapped her arm around his shoulder, laying her head atop his. The last of the 24 cream puffs fell to the Earth like hail and Peach laughed to herself, listening to some of them hit her parasol.
"There they are!"
The incident was actually pretty hilarious. So hilarious, even Ganondorf himself cracked a small evil smile across his lips.
