December

SLAP!

"Shikamaru, you asshole!" Ino raged, huffing and puffing, as she stared down the man before her.

Shikamaru winced and put a hand to his now burning, red face. It was the beginning of December and some of the first snow had begun to fall. Small flakes fell softly on the branches and rooftops and faded into nonexistence as they melted into Ino's pale skin. He sat down on the park bench behind him, but apparently that wasn't the best idea.

"Get up you lazy son of a bitch and look at me when I'm talking to you!" Ino grabbed the lazy nin by the collar of his vest and pulled him half way up before he consented to stand on his own. Her blue eyes blazed with resentment and he could almost feel the heat from her body warm his own.

"More like yelling at me…" He mumbled and his eyes shifted to the side. He didn't want to look at Ino. He felt too guilty. It would be too troublesome to explain anything to her anyways, he was too tired.

"UGHH! You are just so…so…insufferable! How can you—" Ino stopped short, her wrath coming to an abrupt halt as despair rendered her momentarily speechless. She seemed to choke her next words out, her voice suddenly quieter, "—how can you not even care?"

Shikamaru shifted his head and looked back at Ino, her eyes brimming with tears. Her words had lowered in volume, but the acidity of them only increased. She was speaking with disgust in her voice, as if the very words she spoke were bitter in her mouth and the taste just wouldn't fade.

"I do ca—" Shikamaru started, but couldn't finish his defense before she interrupted.

"NO, no you don't care. Don't even try to tell me that, don't lie to me!"

"What do you want me to tell you, Ino? What can I possibly say to you?" Shikamaru questioned as he breathed out deeply. He was worn-out, physically and mentally, and he didn't have the energy, or enough affection for the woman in front of him, to try any harder than this.

"Well you can start by telling me why you left! Don't you realize how hard it is for a girl to put herself out there like that?" The anger was back, any trace of self-pity had vanished, and Ino's face was flushed red. She would blame it on the cold, but really it was the embarrassment, the shame, and the disbelief that had her red in the face and unyielding.

Shikamaru sighed and put a hand to his forehead. "Ino, you're a beautiful girl and I care about you, really, I mean it, but—"

"But what? Shikamaru, I let you touch me, undress me, and halfway through you just…just get up and leave?! UGH! You disgust me. You say you care and then do something like this to me." Ino's blonde hair was disheveled from her wild gesticulations and she was starting to poke and shove Shikamaru in the chest as she spoke.

"Ino, just let me—" Shikamaru paused. He could see in Ino's body language, in the way her face was twisted up and her eyes held so many conflicting emotions, that whatever he said would make no difference. She had in her mind what she was going to say next; thoroughly articulated responses would be cut off and rendered useless.

"I don't love you, Ino." Shikamaru shook the apathy from his voice and told the blonde, frankly, the plain truth. He wanted to tell her it was more complicated than that, but there were too many things to say, and she wasn't willing to hear such painful truths from him. He had been with her for a long time, too long, and she believed he loved her for its entirety. He didn't blame her, he wouldn't want to listen either.

*

Shikamaru ambled through the streets back to his apartment. His head pounded, his face still tingled, and Ino's sobs rang through his mind with each step he took. The steadily falling snow cooled him, but it wasn't enough. In reality, he did care for Ino, as a teammate and a friend, but nothing more. He had never pretended to love her, but she took their relationship further, pushed herself on him, and gotten her hopes up when he couldn't follow through.

When he thought about it this way Shikamaru felt less guilty for ditching Ino, both the night before and 15 minutes ago when he left her slumped over on that park bench contemplating her life and crying over time wasted on him. He wished he could say this was the truth, the whole truth, but it wasn't, so guilt continued to plague him.

In reality, Ino had come on to him, probably because she was lonely after Sasuke had defected, but he couldn't deny he had taken advantage of this. She was his cover. He had another woman in his life, from another village, and his relationship with her would have been highly frowned upon. Many suspected him of these treasonous relations and so, as was logical, Shikamaru used Ino's attachment to him as a way to silence the assumptions and still keep his girl.

But now things were changing. Suna was no longer an enemy, but an ally. Loyalties were still shaky, but bonds were becoming stronger and Shikamaru was beginning to feel confident about dropping the façade he had been living to protect himself and the woman he loved. He was tired of lying.

Shikamaru turned down a dirt road that led the way to small section of his clan's grounds. Two deer walked shyly towards him and nuzzled his hands with affection. He smiled slightly as one licked his hand, relishing in the salty taste. It was comforting, like a moment out of his childhood, and his limbs felt slightly less difficult to move and drag onwards.

He glimpsed a flash of blonde hair and then the contrast of a dark dress covering hips and curves against a background of pristine, white snow. It was a young woman, head thrown back in delight, with her eyes searching the depths of the grey clouds above for a beginning or an end. Snowflakes caught on her eyelashes, rested gently on her shoulders, and nestled comfortably on her shoulder blades and neck. Shikamaru was overcome. The mere sight of her made him feel weak and powerful all at once.

"Kagemane no Jutsu" Shikamaru caught the woman with his shadow, her back to him, and she smiled knowingly. His footsteps marred the perfect sheet of white snow that blanketed the space between them, but it no longer mattered.

Shikamaru pressed his lips against the woman's neck, causing her to shiver delightfully in response.

"I love you, Temari." He muttered, releasing his jutsu and enclosing Temari around the waist with his arms. He rested his chin on her shoulder and she embraced his cheek with her cold hand. It was the side Ino had slapped him on, and Shikamaru sighed with content. He felt lighter, calmer, and now surer than ever that things would be okay.

It was early December. The first big snow had fallen in Konoha and the children, as well as Temari, were delighted by its beauty and the various entertainments it provided. But, to Shikamaru, snow had come to mean something more than just that troublesome thing that fell from the sky every winter.

Snow was cleansing; it was a new beginning, and even if footprints blighted the perfect picture of rolling, untouched hills, the snow remained white all the same. It was still pure. Shikamaru's relationship with Temari had been stepped on by Ino's involvement, the lies he was forced to swallow and retell, and the fact that Temari was from another country that had once played enemy to his own. These footprints tarnished what could have been perfect, but Shikamaru liked it this way. He wasn't perfect, and neither was Temari, and it didn't really mean a thing because they loved each other.