Author's Notes:

-My first publication, R and R invited.
-I kept the outside character nameless on purpose, let me know if it works
-implied, past sexual violence
-regular fisticuffs violence in the story

I do not own the A-Team, nor Wind in the Willows

.-.-.-.-.

"Jesus, H, you look like hell." She sat opposite him in the lounge.

"I thought you were supposed to be here to help, what kind of help is that supposed to be?" He smiled at her anyway. Murdock was sitting sideways in an easy chair, feet up on one arm and knees under his chin. He had been filling time looking out the window at the drizzle and smog. She was the first non-patient to really look at him all day. It made him realize that he was still in pajama bottoms and a stained shirt. His hair was wild and his face hadn't seen a razor in days. He felt exhausted.

"When was the last time you left the building?" As he couldn't remember the answer, he let his gaze swing back to the window.

"I am a rock, I am an iiiiiiiiiiiisland." he crooned quietly. She sat for a while with him, looking out the window.

"Billy must be desperate for some fresh air..." he continued to sway to the music in his head. "desperate for a bit of movement and exercise..." he began to itch a bit and squirmed in his chair. "... to pee on the trees and bark at the squirrels..." he couldn't get comfortable. Hanging his head back to look at her up-side-down, "Yeah, peeing on trees really is a great way to spend an afternoon." She grinned at him and standing, offered a hand to help him up.

Despite a fifteen minute search, Murdock could not find a cleaner shirt in his room. The hair he covered with his hat and he felt, a little bit, like his regular self. The jacket will cover the stains he thought.

The VA did have lovely grounds, though it was a lousy day. Thick with smog and drizzle, but at least it wasn't crazy hot. Hot and humid always made him feel worse. Billy enjoyed the time out, he had to admit. She pet him a couple of times, but mostly seemed to forget about the dog as soon as they went outside. Planes flew overhead. He stopped to look up at everyone, no matter how high up.

The lawn was empty and Murdock began to feel like the two of them and the dog occupied the whole place all alone. His posture straightened, his nose rose a bit in the air. He imagined himself with a fancy cane and a tweed jacket. "Of course it would be better to be shooting pigeon." he said in a thick english accent. "How very unfortunate that this hotel does not have the facilities." He was walking more briskly now, stepping high and proud.

"Oh, I agree," she said, "the colonies just do not have the same standard of recreation."

"Ever since the rebellion, everything has gone downhill here."

"We should have gone to vacation in Canada perhaps, at least they still know who the Queen is." She took his arm like a lady for a stroll with some aristocratic gentleman, "She's on their money there of course." He nodded sagely at that and they proceeded on their second circuit of the grounds.

Billy was nagging at him to pee. Looking slyly to his side, Murdock disengaged his arm and tried to look casual walking toward the nearest tree. His companion continued on, affecting her own dreadful accent.

"Here, they don't remember their roots." She continued on. Hearing no reply, Murdock saw her pause, then turn to look back.

"H, what are you doing!" She looked desperately over her shoulder and around. "They'll think I approve of this you know." He just grinned and sighed dramatically as the stream of urine fell against the tree.

"Peeing on trees was your idea after all." His grin widened at her look of dismay. She ran towards him, trying to block any view of him by standing in front.

"Put that thing away!" She hissed over her shoulder. In the distance a groundskeeper started a mower. "Someone will see."

"Wouldn't want me to soil my only clean pair of pants. Just be a second now." He tried to slow the flow to make the moment last. "Guess I shouldn't have had that third cup of coffee." He giggled as she swung her head back and forth looking for potential witnesses. "Or, was it four?"

"Finish. Finish now!"

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" He swung towards her letting the dying trickle swing toward her cuffs.

"Damn, you." She jumped out of the way, her eyes were wide with shock, but her mouth was open with laughter. "You didn't!"

"Oh, I think that will be answered tonight when you undress." She grabbed his elbow and pulled him away from the tree. Away from the evidence. They giggled their way back to the building.

Once back inside, a weight seemed to return to his shoulders. Although his companion was still grinning and trying to wipe her cuffs on the door jam, Murdock wasn't smiling any more. "I wish I could just at least nap." he moaned.

"Why not, you got something scheduled?" She nudged him with her arm. "Busy man today?" He shook his head and looked down. Ignoring her he moved toward his room.

"No," she pulled at his sleeve, "don't go back there H. Lets do art or something, anything. Just don't go back and stare at the walls." He stumbled as she held on to his jacket. Reaching out for the railing saved him from going all the way down. Now she was pulling up trying to keep him standing.

"Allright, maybe a nap is a good idea." With her support he managed to make his way back. The bed was rank and cold. How many nights? How little sleep? "Are you having trouble sleeping?" He turned to look at her. He was having trouble even saying what it felt like, how much he dreaded sleep. What he saw when he closed his eyes. "It always helped when someone read to me." she said. "I don't want to sleep. I don't want to see those things, I can't stop them when I'm asleep..."

"You need to sleep H, you can't just not sleep." She was looking in from the edge of the doorway. He looked at her, then away. His mouth twisted and and he grimaced, fighting down the tears.

"I don't want to, I can't. Stay here, keep me awake. Keep the dreaming away." Her eyes shone in the neon light. He reached a hand toward her. "Stay..."

"H, I can't. I can't come in. They'll can me. I'm not allowed." He felt a tear slide down. Ashamed he turned to the wall, curled into a ball. There was a pause, she didn't cross the threshold. "Wait here, just wait okay." He didn't move, just stared at the wall.

"Okay, okay. I'm back. Just... just listen." She began to speak in a level, soothing voice.

The Mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring-cleaning his little home.

"I told you, I don't want to sleep!" he groaned from the bed.

"Its alright H, I won't leave. I'll keep reading, even after you sleep. You'll keep hearing the story and thats what you'll dream about." He rolled over to look at her through the open door. "I'll stay as long as I can, and I'll keep reading."

First with brooms, then with dusters; then on ladders and steps and chairs, with a brush and a pail of whitewash; till he had dust in his throat and eyes, and splashes of whitewash all over his black fur...

He felt his eye lids sliding down, his head relaxed into the pillow. Her voice started to fade away, with a start he twitched back. "I can't hear you." he whispered. "Come here, come in please." He itched and ached with the need to sleep.

"I can't H, I can't." She looked around, up and down the hall, into the room. "Will the bed move." He shook his head. Not since he and Face had used it to break the window to escape. It was bolted down now. She pursed her lips, "Pull your mattress over here then, can you do that?" It wasn't much of a mattress, thin and vinyl coated, he moved over to the door and lay down with his head at the threshold to the hall.

Spring was moving in the air above and in the earth below and around him, penetrating even his dark and lowly little house with its spirit of divine discontent and longing.

Irresistibly, he felt himself sinking into the mattress. His eyes closed and his breathing slowed. Twice he twitched awake with a start, anxious about what was coming. The third time his body and mind gave in and he drifted away hearing only her words,

It was small wonder, then, that he suddenly flung down his brush on the floor, said `Bother!' and `O blow!' and also `Hang spring-cleaning!' and bolted out of the house without even waiting to put on his coat...

"...there is nothing - absolute nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats..." he murmured the words before even waking entirely. With a sigh Murdock stretched and arched his back, arms flung out. Ahhhh, to wake he thought. To wake without a holler or a scream. What an ecstasy that is taken for granted by so many. He yawned and rolled over, the mattress harder than usual for being on the floor. She sat slumped against wall. Her neck was bent at an uncomfortable angle, she twitched a bit then settled again, asleep. She was prettier when asleep, a bit anyway. Without her brow furrowed in concern or biting her lip from worry. Too serious he thought, she needs to lighten up.

Trying to be quiet he rose and shuffled to the bathroom. This time he looked directly in the mirror. The hair was a mess, needed cutting what was left. But, the bags looked diminished and his colour seemed better. Humming "Wake up Little Susie" he started the electric shaver and began tidying up.

"NO!" he heard a yell from the hall. Dashing to the door he saw her twitch and squirm. She moaned and twisted against the wall. Loosing balance her body slumped into the doorway. He stretched out and grabbed her shoulders before she hit the floor. WIth a start she bolted awake, eyes wide but unseeing. "Don't touch me." Skittering away down the hall on her ass she kept shouting "Don't, get away." Murdock backed into his room, panicked. He waited, three, four seconds. Peeking around the corner he saw only her back and she rushed away. In her rush she nearly collided with a familiar figure in an unfamiliar delivery uniform carrying a box.

"Somebody piss on her cheerios?" Face asked, winking at Murdock. "C'mon, I got a spare uniform in this box, we're getting out of here."

"Rightio Faceman, ready to go." he shut the door quickly, pausing only for a brief glimpse down to the hall.

"You already shaved," Face said, "good, that saves time."