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ONE

Sirius Black was irritated, inebriated and categorically convinced that his best mate had lost his damn mind. "Prongs, what in Merlin's name are you doing?"

The twat in question was practically naked and flying laps around the makeshift quidditch pitch behind his ancestral home. The pulsing music and drunken laughter emanating from within the illuminated house should have been enough to get its wayward git of a host off his brown but James Charlus Potter didn't seem to think he was going anywhere.

Enter Sirius.

"PRONGS!"

No response.

"Mate, you're failing in your duty as mother hen. It's eight o'clock, Remus can't stop giggling and Pete, the pisshead, has already been praying to the porcelain god."

Still…nothing.

Sirius glanced down at the trampled dressrobes Euphemia Potter had somehow coaxed her son into before departing for the evening and chuckled. He'd known Prongs would ditch them as soon as his mother was safely in the Floo but really, the boy would be in for it if Mia saw them crumpled up on the grass like that.

"OI, WANKER!"

James' head whipped around. "WHAT?"

"GET YOUR SCRAWNY ARSE DOWN HERE! Sirius bellowed back.

James turned mid-air and after a long, miserable glance at the obviously occupied house, began his slow decent back to reality with a sigh. As he dismounted his beloved broom, Sirius summoned the murky green muggle cords James somehow believed were fashionable and a Wailing Warlocks tee, sending them straight at his best mate's big boofhead.

James deftly caught the soaring clothes and grinned, distracted. "Missed me, Padfoot?"

Sirius sent a pair of boots at his head by way of reply before directing the crushed dressrobes soaring to the unexplored depths of Prongs' closet, simultaneously thanking Merlin that the Potter's home was steeped in so much ancient magic that simple underage wizardry tended to go unnoticed by those Ministry wankers.

Sirius didn't need to ask what had driven Prongs out of his house and kept him captive on his broom.

Scuttlebutt had it that Evans and McKinnon were on their way, with Meadowes ensuring no casualties en route.

Under ordinary circumstances, this would've been considered a colossal triumph. Lily Evans in Prongs' house. Sirius had been fleetingly gleeful when a smashed Mary MacDonald had scrambled up on the Potter's billiard table to announce their imminent arrival before promptly remembering that neither Lily nor Marlene were currently speaking to James.

After that whole business with Snivellus after O.W.L's last year, Lily had been distraught. It wasn't like the hysterical sobbing his cousins pulled when they didn't get their way. No, Lily's soundless tears were enough to make even Sirius wish he'd played nice with Snivelly.

He couldn't even begin to imagine how James, the fool who'd been utterly besotted with the bird since their third year, must've felt watching Lily so utterly devastated.

To top off that catastrophe, Marlene had quite literally blown up at James. She'd come storming into the boys' dormitory, blasting belongings all over the place and screeching something about how he'd completely cocked it up this time and that she was done with him until he fixed things with Lily.

It's not like James hadn't tried to do just that.

He'd penned letter upon letter to both witches but Sirius strongly suspected that any missives that bore the Potter seal were immediately given the old fire and brimstone treatment. James had even dragged Sirius around for six hours one day trying to find Lily's home in some muggle town called Cokeworth. They'd finally discovered a magically warded house but the blonde who'd answered the door had violently wigged out on them the second they mentioned they were looking for Lily. James spent the week following that particular failure camped out on the McKinnon's front lawn until a couple of Marlene's brothers had taken pity on him. According to Max McKinnon, Lily had apparently sought refuge at the McKinnon's to avoid the relentless apology attempts from both James and Snivelly until Marlene decreed that they needed a better hideout. Garrett McKinnon had helpfully narrowed their search down to somewhere beach adjacent and Moony, in all his infinite wisdom, had told James to leave well enough alone.

This didn't rest well with Prongs. He'd lost the sister Merlin had forgotten to give him and the bird he'd been infatuated with for as long as anyone could remember in one fell swoop.

Sirius hated seeing him so despondent. As far as he was concerned, the Gryffindor birds were all crazy. Not just 'eccentric' crazy either—full blown 'we, the Wizengamot, find…' crazy but even Sirius could see their value. MacDonald was the only one he could truly call friend, largely because of the sweet witch's milewide mischief streak. All her neurotic tendencies aside, Evans was a ridiculously clever, kind and capable witch—with everyone except Prongs, unfortunately. Then there was Fortescue, who was came across as this sweet and unassuming flower child until someone managed to tick her off and all hell broke loose. Meadowes could be a bit odd but she was smart and an unparalleled duellist who'd handed him his arse a time or two. McKinnon…well, even though McKinnon barely had a civil word to spare for Sirius anymore, McKinnon was still the sun: a blindingly powerful force of nature who nurtured sensations of warmth, comfort and consternation in all who came into contact with her.

That day by the Lake had caused damage to more than just Lily's friendship with Snivellus and all four Marauders had spent their summer in the uncomfortably reality that was life without the truly barmy creatures dropping in and out of their lives whenever the mood struck them.

Sirius would do everything in his power to help James appease Evans and McKinnon. Even if, in all likelihood, that meant staying the hell away from the pair of them.

Both birds appeared with a loud crack on the outskirts of the McKinnon's neighbouring property, McKinnon having evidently conned one of her brothers into Apparating them.

They made a pretty picture too, all dolled up and not particularly impressed with each other by the looks of things. McKinnon was attempting to drag Evans by her flaming hair towards the Potter's house whilst Evans tried, of all things, to reason with the combative blonde. Kicking, finger pointing and pleading ensued until an utterly exasperated Meadowes separated the pair.

"You see 'em?" Sirius asked, putting an unlit cigarette to his lips and searching for the muggle lighter that never failed to piss off his parents.

"When do I not?" James muttered, eyes locked on the argumentative redhead who didn't seem to realize McKinnon was actually herding her towards the Potter's home. James' hands automatically leapt to his hair… like Evans was going to come dashing up the driveway to scold him for it or something. "Didn't think they'd actually show."

Sure mate, that's why we're both hiding out here in the dark.

"C'mon," he said, picking up James' broom with his eyes trained on a familiar mess of golden curls in the distance. "I reckon we both need to get on Pete's level."


Bullies.

Mischief-makers.

Ruffians.

Pranksters.

Vagabonds.

Lily had never really figured out quite the right word to fully describe the Marauders. They were friend to many and foe to few, but those few foes were outright enemies. They were resourceful wizards wasting their talent on tomfoolery for it was their collective intelligence that kept them skating that thin line between endearing rapscallions and immature prats. They were swashbucklers born two centuries too late; pirates who couldn't pillage or plunder in the traditional sense so they'd created their own cannons to thunder through the halls of the castle and mischief replaced doubloons as their currency of choice.

The Marauders were a lot of things to a lot of people which explained the sheer number that had rocked up to their infamous end of summer piss up. It was, in fact, the first time Lily had turned up to one. The rare festivities she'd been to at Hogwarts, Lily had either stumbled upon by accident or been tricked into attending. To be fair, there were an awful lot of parties. The Marauders didn't exactly need a legitimate reason to party but they sure did love coming up with them.

Hell, they'd once thrown a party for Pete when he got an Acceptable in Charms, his worst subject.

Their imminent return to Hogwarts seemed as good an excuse as any to get hammered. Or at least, that's what Marlene had argued as she'd herded Lily towards Potter's house.

"What happened to 'we're better off without that jammy git'? What happened to 'if I never hear from James Snotter again, it'll be too soon'?" Having been coaxed out of the house under false pretences, Lily had been more than a little naffed off. "What bloody happened to loathing the pillock's existence?!"

"Don't be thick, petal, this isn't about Jay. This is about you."

"And what the bloody hell's that supposed to mean?" Lily demanded, a faintly screeching quality to her voice that made her sound alarmingly like Petunia.

"What it means is you've become a piss poor version of yourself and we want our Lily Evans back!" Marlene had bellowed back at her. "You weren't the immature prat prancing around pantsing people and you certainly weren't the bigot spouting bullshit, you were just caught in their crossfire. You can't let either one of those wankers allow you to forget yourself. You haven't seen Mary and Alice in months and don't think they haven't told us your letters have been becoming fewer and farther between and poor Remus, he's been going out of his mind worrying about you but you've ignored his letters all because what? He's friends with Jay? Or is it something else? Because I think you're punishing yourself and damned if we'll stand by and watch you."

Silence descended then, Marlen satisfied that she'd made her point and Lily too shell shocked to respond right away until Doe had asked quietly, "So, we're still mad at him, right?"

"We are," Marlene had confirmed, midnight eyes flashing with mischief as she'd hauled Lily in through the Potter's front door.

Marlene McKinnon had been Lily's introduction to the madness of Gryffindor house that fateful day at King's Cross Station. Having stumbled upon the bewildered young muggleborn and her family, Marley had been a charmingly traumatizing breath of fresh air. She had announced that they would become the best of friends then proceeded to shove each of them through a brick wall, hauled Lily through a crowd bustling with people and contraptions Lily had never dreamed possible before promptly nicking her trunk. Overwhelming though the whole ordeal had been, Marlene's sweet mischief had served as a stark contrast to Sev's surliness and Lily had soon found herself enjoying her crazed companion.

Lily adored Marlene but that did not mean she agreed with half of her wild schemes. Rocking up to a party without invites whilst blatantly cold-shouldering all four of its hosts didn't even rank as particularly peculiar for Marlene or anyone who dared get caught up in her wake.

From what little Marlene had bothered to explain but mostly what Lily had been able to gather on her own, Potter had been complicit in Lily's misery and was therefore no longer worthy of Marley's time, Pete had been sick on her shoes at the O.W.L's after party and Remus had refused to give her his Arithmancy notes before O.W.L's—not that Lily blamed him, Marlene had been too preoccupied inking new designs during their revision sessions to pay much attention.

Black was, as always, a much more complex issue. Lily had noticed that Marlene and Sirius' interactions had become increasingly volatile over the previous year and this kind of animosity went well beyond their childish rivalry over who exactly was James Potter's best friend. There was no explanation nor was their likely to be one at this rate. Merlin, whenever anyone so much as mentioned Black, Marlene's infamous fight or flight response was taken to a higher and more melodramatic echelon. Lily's questions had been met with everything from 'surprise' cliff diving on São Miguel Island spanning to a full-on bar brawl in the Leaky Cauldron just that afternoon.

Lily couldn't exactly bring herself to nag Marlene about it, especially not after everything that Marlene had done for her after the rather dramatic culmination to her friendship with Sev at the end of last term.

Marlene had skilfully helped Lily avoid both Sev and Potter on the train trip home then set fire to any letters or bribes for forgiveness from either of them. Just as she always had, Marlene had shared her family and her mother's cooking without comment or judgement. In the weeks that followed, Marlene had implacably dealt with Lily's fragile emotional state which violently ricocheted between a stone-faced automaton to a raging mess of emotions who'd had to be physically restrained from drunk-Flooing Sev on more than one shameful occasion. The beautiful but barmy blonde had even shanghaied Lily into an adventure in the Azores for the rest of their summer vacation. Marlene had claimed it was a necessary "retreat from the general suckiness on the home front" although in hindsight, Lily could see that they'd really just taken running away from their problems to a whole other level.

Regardless, it was Marlene's unwavering loyalty that had triggered Lily's vow to stay for one hour—as soon as she'd managed to extricate Marlene's fist from her hair, of course.

But Marlene, who was currently dancing with Emmeline Vance and the Prewitt twins atop the billiards table, would not be eager to leave and Lily could hardly leave without her. The last time Marlene had been left to her own drunken devices, she'd ended up skinny dipping in the Black Lake with her quidditch teammates and held her friends personally responsible for her hazy memories of that event for months after the fact.

Like anyone could tell Marlene McKinnon to do anything she didn't want to do.

Might have to enlist Doe for this one.

Widely regarded as the shiest of the rowdy Gryffindor crowd, Dorcas Meadowes had a magnificent mind burning beneath her quiet and had only attended this evening to avoid Marlene's pouting. Having already caught up with Mary and Alice, Doe would easily be convinced to cut their evening short as she'd much rather be in a bed back at the McKinnon's place anyway. However, Lily would stand on the outskirts of what she had been told was the Potter's ballroom and let Marlene have her fun first.

Besides, there were no shortage of distractions.

Lily had always known that James Potter came from old money because little else could foster such arrogance and conceit. Perhaps it was unkind, but his relentless pestering and persistent 'pursuit' of Lily over the years had squashed out whatever kindness she might have spared for him. Even at eleven years old, she'd quickly realized that the spoilt boy didn't actually want her, he just wanted to be wanted by her. Lily certainly couldn't understand how he could possibly want for more after seeing his childhood home.

She'd always known that Potter fit in somewhere amongst the McKinnon's myriad of magical neighbours but Marlene had somehow neglected to mention that the most beautiful and ornate of the wizarding homes which could be seen from Marlene's bedroom window actually belonged to the Potter family. Even Potter's inhabitancy could not detract from Lily's reverence of the old house and the botanical wonderland of the grounds. A novice botanist herself, Lily had noted several flourishing plants that she hadn't even known could survive in the United Kingdom as well as several others that she couldn't seem to identify, including some sort of iridescent blue flower running amok through the grass.

To make matters worse, Potter's house was even more enchanting on the inside. The domed ceiling above her was adorned with swirling astrological symbols that she'd read about but never encountered outside a tome and every room was lined with shelves upon shelves housing priceless artefacts and she'd seen at least ten books the rest of the world believed had perished millennia ago. Every room was filled with twirling tufts of iridescent light that glittered and swirled around the witches and wizards currently gyrating in time to The Bee Gees 'Stayin' Alive'.

Virtually everyone above fifth year at Hogwarts was present, although Slytherin's were thin on the ground, and anyone who caught sight of Lily eyed her speculatively. She couldn't exactly blame. She didn't know what she was doing here either.

Lily just wished they wouldn't stare.

Doe appeared next to her, handing her the butterbeer she hadn't realized she needed. Pushing back her mane of dark and wildly braided hair, Doe sighed at her. "One of the brightest witches of our age and she's hiding behind a potted hellebore. The shame!"

"Who said I was hiding?" Lily returned, with a small smile in thanks as she allowed Doe to coax her into a small—and thankfully shadowed—alcove seat. It was a tactical move, Lily knew, because from this vantage point Doe could see every exit and would formulate another escape plan if someone who made Doe nervous came through the front door.

Sparkling amber eyes narrowed on her. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Lily murmured, wondering why she kept telling people that and wondering if she'd ever been less fine.

"You're not fine, Lily, and you really don't have to keep pretending to be."

Lily gaped. She couldn't help it. Doe was good with complex magical theorems and old magical tomes that made most witches and wizards borderline suicidal but she'd never really been able to grasp the emotions of others all that well. Alternatively proud and confounded, Lily was trying to figure out exactly how to respond to that and seeing that she was busy deliberating, Doe retrieved a book from her back pocket and began to read.

She wished, not for the first time, that she could be as assertive as her friend. Doe could give a damn about the fact they were at a party right now. She wanted to read about Morgana le Fey, she would damn well read about Morgana le Fey. But Lily wasn't as self-assured as Doe or as genuinely unaffected by other people as Alice and Mary, who were hanging from the magically fortified chandelier by her knees, oblivious to their partying peers or the pumping music.

Lily was just an irrational excuse for a witch who had an affinity for academics and losing her temper.

Last year, she wouldn't have even been at this party.

Sev had never approved of the Marauders or her friendship with one Remus Lupin. Though Remus never failed to issue her with an invite, Lily had never seen the point of starting an argument with Sev over something as frivolous as a party but now that she was actually present, Lily realized she could've easily been enjoying herself except then she'd immediately feel guilty for enjoying something Sev would have hated before feeling like a moron for missing the bigoted bastard in the first place.

It was an unforgiving cycle and she hated herself—and Sev—for putting her in this position.

A shoulder nudged her own. Slightly frazzled, Lily glanced up into Doe's inquisitive gaze. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

"I shouldn't be here."

"Not like you had much choice with all of Marlene's… unorthodox persuasion," Doe murmured with a reluctant grin.

"It's just…" and Lily proceeded to tell Doe everything that was plaguing her because if she didn't, she felt she may very well explode. "…and I'm in Potter's house but all I can think about is how much Sev would hate that I'm here," she finished lamely.

Doe was quiet for a long time. Finally, she said, "James Potter is a prat."

Not sure exactly where she was going with this, Lily laughingly agreed with Doe's assessment.

"A prat who was acting like a horrible, hormonal little git after O.W.L's last year but despite all of his nonsense, he is a good friend." She held up a hand, sensing that Lily was about to interrupt. "He is one of the few people who can deal with Marlene when she's off her head, he makes Pettigrew stand up for himself and he's always handing his homework in under Lupin's name to spare him the detention when he's stuck in the Hospital Wing. Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, Potter is a good friend. Look at Black. He's scorned by his family because an old hat screwed with their tradition but Potter has always defended him, no matter how many times it's landed them both in detention. Meanwhile, Snape was humiliated and he threw you to the wolves. I'm not trying to play devil's advocate or excuse even half of his nonsense, I just think that you have Potter painted as this grandiose villain in your head when in fact, he is a teenage wizard who becomes a bumbling idiot whenever you're around."

Out of her usually reticent friend, that was a lot.

Lily's head was still spinning with this new perspective when Sirius Black's incensed raving pervaded her obsessing.

"—you're not even bloody speaking to James and yet, here you are, drinking his booze and making out with his mates!" he bellowed at Marlene, not ten feet from where Lily and Doe were sitting.

"Screw you, Black!" Marlene roared right on back, her hand hovering dangerously over the wand in the waistband of her suede skirt. "Jay and I will fix things when we're damn well ready to and not because you're being a meddling wanker! And like you're one to talk—"

Lily tuned them out with an eyeroll and stood, ready to intervene, but Doe brushed past her with a delighted: "Oh please, allow me." The willowy witch stalked over to their two bickering housemates and shoved them both in opposite directions: Marlene into the comforting arms of Mary and Alice whilst Sirius was sent in the general direction of the booze.

Lily was about to go over there and help calm Marlene down when her favourite Marauder quite literally landed in her lap.

"I've been worried about you, flower, but you Houdini'd me," Remus Lupin mumbled against her tummy, wiggling around until he was facing her and more comfortably situated across her and the entire alcove. "Why'd you Houdini me, Lily?"

He might be cross and more than a little drunk but she couldn't exactly deny it. Lily had lost a friend and become a piss poor one in the interim. "I'm sorry I truly didn't mean to worry you, Rem."

His grey green eyes were thoughtful. "You needed time to lick your wounds. Believe me, I get it. Just don't disappear one me next time, alright? I can't lose you, Lily."

Pressing a kiss to his forehead, she promised. "I'm not going anywhere, Rem, and I promise I won't disappear on you again."

Marlene's earlier words echoing in her head, Lily glanced over at the ranting blonde, who was wildly waving her arms around before finally allowing Mary then Alice to hug her. She had no idea what she'd do without her friends. She glanced down at the one in her lap. "So, how are you feeling, Rem?"

He grinned goofily up at her. "I'm spectacular, Lily, and how are you this fine evening?"

"Not quite as good as you are evidently," Lily replied, pulling what appeared to be a tiny purple squid with wildly moving tentacles from his auburn hair. "Picked up a friend, I see?"

"Sirius," Remus replied by way of explanation, an exasperated grin on his face as he played with the teeny, tiny tentacles. "He's taken to hiding these everywhere lately."

"Of course, he has," Lily murmured, pretending to fathom the lunacy that was Sirius Black as she pulled from his auburn brown curls a dark green Swedish Short Snout that soundlessly roared at her for displacing it.

"I'll get him back later," Remus murmured, continuing to play with the squirming figurines until his eyes wandered off to where Adam McKinnon had somehow managed to talk Doe out of her book and out onto the dance floor. Internally, Lily simultaneously congratulated Adam's moxie and noted how Remus' unhappy eyes wandered after them.

Grinning, Lily scanned the room for someone else to talk to, as she knew from experience that a drunk Remus was not much for scintillating conversation. There was Black, who had gotten diverted on his way to the bar and seemed to be chatting up both Doris Purkiss and Greta Catchlove at the same time. Over achiever. Then there was Alice, who—having successfully calmed down Marlene and sent her on her way—was flirting with a flustered Frank Longbottom which Lily just didn't have the heart to interrupt. She had no idea where Pete was but given his recent bouts of alcoholism, she'd guess he was making time with the lavatory... wherever the hell that was.

Suddenly, a blur in a purple paisley dress launched into her and Mary MacDonald had her in a loving, if slightly uncoordinated—and awkward, considering Remus' position in her lap—hug. "LILYKINS! LUPIN! Come dance!"

The two of them were given very little choice in the matter and at Mary's insistence, Remus helped her to her feet. As Remus clumsily twirled her in the direction of the dance floor, Lily decided that the night might not be a complete disaster after all.


On the opposite side of the ballroom, James Potter had not only lost track of how many drinks he'd had but he could no longer tell whether Remus and Mary were doing a rather inept rendition of the Hokey Pokey or were just stumbling around in perfect synchronization. Pete had reappeared five minutes ago and seemed to be rather enthusiastically having some sort of seizure. James had briefly caught sight of Lily dancing with him earlier until she'd locked eyes with James and bolted.

He couldn't exactly blame her either. The shit he'd pulled last year…

James still couldn't figure quite out how everything had spun out of control so quickly. He remembered being cooped up in the Great Hall then mucking around with his mates by the Lake before he'd gotten all wrapped up in his head, worried about his parents and the war and Sirius' shitty situation… so James did what he always did when his thoughts took a darker turn, he'd looked at Lily—who was still naffed off at him for something he could no longer remember doing but whose scorn he'd very likely deserved. Then he'd noticed Snivelly staring at her too and felt his inner dickhead take over.

In doing so, he'd been unnecessarily cruel and cost Lily her best friend. James took a long swig of his firewhiskey. He really did owe her an apology and he hoped that eventually, she'd stick around long enough to hear it.

Padfoot came barrelling out of the crowd then and stalked over to James. James figured he'd come over for a chat but then he realized he was in front of the liquor cabinet and Sirius wanted in. James promptly got out of the way as Sirius grabbed a bottle of the Knotgrass Mead and slugged back half the bottle. Considering Sirius had never particularly been a fan of Knotgrass Mead, this indicated that there was a… "Problem?"

"McKinnon."

"I thought you said you were going to stay away from her tonight?"

"I. Tried." Sirius gritted out, glowering out at their partying peers.

"Are you ever going to tell me what went down with the two of you?" James asked, not entirely sure he wanted to know the answer.

His two best friends had never exactly gotten along—twelve-year-old Marlene had resolutely believed that Sirius was out to 'steal' James from her whilst Sirius had blown up when Marlene pointed out that his family tree was less of a tree than a thoroughly rotted trunk due to the copious amount of inbreeding—but he'd been foolish enough to think they had finally been reaching some sort of truce a while back.

Obviously, he'd been fooling himself.

"She's been leading you on a merry chase all summer and she's not even speaking to you, but she's here!" Sirius hissed, taking another swig. "She's here and she's—"

"Trust me, Padfoot, I'm glad she's here." It meant Marls was mellowing. It meant she was almost ready to hear him out—as soon as he got off his arse and apologized to Lily, of course. Honestly, he was just happy to see her.

"I'm not even going to pretend to understand the two of you," Sirius muttered, sighing deeply. "Go talk to Evans," he mumbled, picking up his mead and stalking over to where Remus and Pete continued to do what they laughingly called dancing. "Get that chip off your shoulder."

A solid suggestion.

James scanned the room, hoping to catch sight of that scarlet hair he loved so much and found her in front of the fireplace, staring into the embers. He approached her slowly, running through any and every possible thing he could say to stop her from storming off. Finally, he settled on. "Hey, Evans."

It was truly remarkable how uncomfortable Lily became, just at the sound of his voice. James hated that but knew mentioning it would only increase the awkwardness of what was already sure to be an uncomfortable—and possibly very loud—conversation.

"Here to kick me out, Potter?"

"You're always welcome in my home, Evans, and like I'd ever judge gate-crashing."

Lily faked a smile, fidgeting in her seat.

"Uh, would you like…some coffee?" Wait, does she even like coffee?

Her nose wrinkled. "I don't drink coffee."

Of course not. You knew that. Who offers people coffee at a party anyway, you prat. "Water? Butterbeer? Mead?" Firewhiskey? Elderflower wine? Hell, he'd hire out the entire Leaky Cauldron if it just got her to hear him out.

"No. Thank you," Lily said tightly, her eyes roving the crowd for one of her girls or Remus. Merlin, even Sirius would probably be a welcome interruption in her eyes right at that moment. Lily turned slightly, probably just hoping he'd just take the hint but…

"You-never-let-me-apologize!" he sort of shouted at her, shoving his hands into his pockets before he did something stupid like run his hand through his hair, which only ever seemed to make her cross.

Lily's incredible eyes widened, her expression startled. "Excuse me?"

"You never let me apologize for everything that happened after O.W.L's last term?" he got out in one long rush.

And just like that, she was back to pissed off. "Look, Potter—"

"No, wait. I—just…just let me get this out, okay?" His words came out fast and stilted. James waited for some sign that he could continue and finally, Lily sighed which he was going to take for her permission to continue.

"I was a great bloody pillock that day by the lake," he began, trying desperately to measure his breathing. "We'd been locked up in the Great Hall for hours and things… well, let's just say I had a lot on my mind and needed to let off some steam. Sni—Snape became my target which was dickish and infantile, I know. I-I didn't… I wasn't thinking but I should've realised that things were getting out of hand. If I'd known how things were going to go down, I—"

James let out a frustrated breath, well aware he sounded like a great bloody twat. "Look, he treated you like some sort of possession half the bloody time anyway and then he went and called you a you-know-what so I can't exactly say I'm sorry you gave him his marching orders but I never should've put you or him in a situation where the blighter felt he needed to say that word and… well, nobody deserves to lose a mate that way and I'm really sorry for that, Evans. Truly."

There. He'd said it. Not well, but he had said it.

Lily stared at him, probably wondering whether St. Mungo's Mental Ward was out looking for him yet. "Is this just the alcohol talking or are you serious?" she asked warily.

Do not make a Sirius joke. "I may be drunk off my arse but that doesn't mean I'm not sincere. I hate that I mucked everything up for you."

"Thank you for apologizing," she said slowly, "but you don't need to feel entirely responsible for what happened with me and Sev. Things had been bad between the two of us for a while. I'd been in denial about a lot of what was going on with him and his friends but… I didn't want to lose my best friend, you know? Don't get me wrong, you were a pillock but I might've still been listening to Sev's lies if it weren't for everything that happened."

That was about the last thing he'd ever expected her to say and it left him suitably flabbergasted. "Uh, right… okay. Do you reckon you'll ever, you know…"

"Sort things out?" Lily supplied.

James nodded, not sure entirely what he was hoping that answer would be.

She shook her head. "I don't think so. We're two completely different people now. But, you know, I'll be alright." Her eyes wandered over the chaotic blur that was Marlene and Mary as they whirled around the room, coaxing Remus and Pete to dance with them—Frank and Alice next in their sights. "I'm lucky. I have some pretty incredible friends to pick up the slack."

I'm a great mate, maybe… James stood a little taller. "Lily, I—"

But before he could even properly articulate that particular thought, Gideon Prewitt appeared. A beater on the Gryffindor team and Alice's cousin, Gid was what Marlene had always affectionately referred to as a 'Gryffinwhore' and a mate of his.

The red headed git bowed extravagantly low before Lily. "Dance with me, Evans?" he didn't exactly ask, whirling her away from James with an "Alright Capt'n" thrown over his shoulder.

Lily could do little more than wave lamely in James' direction before she was in the middle of the dance floor, leaving James to scowl after Gid for stealing her away.