Okay, for this collection I'll do oneshots inspired by people's headcanons about the characters. Anyone can submit! It can be about a canon character or one of my OCs, just as long as it's something I can write at least two hundred words (one scene) about.

Disclaimer: I own only my OCs.

Headcanon 1, courtesy of Shan-kun: Tania and Arlua talk discussing almost everything about their husbands with said husbands listening in.

"Hey, Arlua, Zuo mentioned something the other day," Tania said as the two women sat at the table at the Heiwajima residence. Their children were at school, and Shizuo and Izaya were at their respective jobs, Shizuo on the far side of Ikebukuro and Izaya trolling the people of Shinjuku for once. Arlua raised an eyebrow curiously. Tania smiled slightly. "Nothing bad, just…" Tania studied her friend for a moment, then sighed. "He said you two used to date." Arlua blinked.

"Oh. Yeah, when we first met. Since I wasn't afraid of him, and as I'm sure you're aware, Shi is a great guy…"

"His looks don't hurt either," Tania murmured, and Arlua grinned.

"They certainly don't," she agreed. "But it never went farther than a few dates and a kiss or two. We realized we cared for each other, but not romantically. Shi's like my brother. Dating him just didn't seem right."

There was a moment of silence as they studied each other. Tania was the one who broke the quiet.

"So if you kissed Zuo, how does he compare to the flea?" the teacher inquired curiously. Arlua blinked, then started to laugh. After a moment though, she considered the question seriously.

"Shi didn't have much kissing experience at the time," the technician said thoughtfully. "But then, Izzy says that I'm the only one he's ever kissed, so he had even less experience the first time." She was quiet for a moment, then spoke again. "They're both good kissers, but I think the difference is the way they kiss. Shi was always very careful with me; he didn't want to accidentally bruise me or anything."

"It took me months to train him out of that habit," Tania muttered. Arlua snickered and continued her comparison.

"But Izzy's kisses are usually…I don't know. Committed? Like he puts all his concentration into the kiss instead of into restraining himself."

"Really? I thought he would kiss kind of obnoxiously," Tania commented. Arlua blinked.

"How would one kiss obnoxiously?" she asked. Tania shrugged.

"If anyone could pull it off, it would be the flea." They studied each other once more, both wondering if the other was thinking the same thing.

"Tania, it never went far enough for me to find out, but now I wonder…"

"I was just thinking that the flea's awful personality must show in some way…"

"So we're agreed?"

"Yeah. We should compare notes on how they are in bed."

"Well I'll tell you this," Arlua grinned, "Izaya is excellent with his hands.~ And his tongue.~" Tania shook her head.

"Of course he is." Tania leaned closer and informed Arlua conspiratorially, "Shizuo has two modes: slow and tender, and fast and furious."

"I can't see him being terribly kinky though," Arlua commented. Tania shook her head.

"Not really. Though nothing Izaya might be into would surprise me. He's twisted." Her friend shrugged.

"He's a kinky one, all right. Blindfolds, toys…he has some fascination with tying me up," Arlua added.

"Shizuo would never try that," Tania said. Even now, years later, he's still a little afraid of hurting me. Though I have learned what buttons to press to get him to loosen up,~" she practically smirked.

An hour later, when it was time to pick their kids up from school, the two were still discussing various aspects of their significant others, from irritating habits to the way the two men were with the children.

Just before they parted ways, they agreed that once Anna finally got up the courage to seduce Kadota, they would have to question her about how their quiet, baggy-clothes-wearing friend was. After all, neither of them even knew what he looked like without a shirt.

Shizuo and Izaya exchanged slightly disturbed looks. Izaya had planted a bug in Arlua's phone as part of their ongoing technology skirmish, and when it had recorded his girlfriend and a certain teacher mentioning his and Shizuo's names, he had gone to pester the blond at work.

It had taken some convincing to get the bodyguard to listen to the recording with him, and now Izaya was regretting having convinced him.

"I never wanted to know any of that," Shizuo growled, his face flaming red. "Why did they...?"

"I don't know, Shizu-chan, but Ani-chan certainly seems to like your monstrous personality and strength even more than I thought," the informant smirked to cover up his own discomfort. Shizuo's face was approaching an interesting blue-purple color, Izaya noticed.

"Shut up. You don't really let Kami and Andris play with those damn switch blades of yours, do you?" Shizuo snapped. Izaya frowned.

"Of course I do, and I don't see why Lu-chan objects to it. It's good for them to be used to weapons, so when she lets me teach them how to fight for real they're no freaked out by knives," the informant replied shortly. "And watch your mouth; Ani-chan is worried you'll slip up and swear too much in front of the brat," he reminded his rival with another smirk.

"Shut up, you fucking insect!" Shizuo snarled, reaching for the nearest piece of furniture. Izaya bolted, deleting the recording as he went.

Maybe bugging Arlua's phone wasn't a good idea after all.

He did have one question though...

Why do those two want to know about Dota-chin so much?!