I tapped my pen on the side of my desk as Mrs. Brave Bear droned , Math is my favorite subject but I can't concentrate. I haven't been able to concentrate for quite some time. My eyes floated towards the window. My whole body shook unexpectedly,a giant urge to run outside came to me in one, giant wave. Dark clouds were beginning to form as I turned to the page number that Mrs. Brave Bear barked out. I felt small smile spread across my face. I absolutely love the rain; the smell, the sound, the taste… Everything about cloudy-rainy weather is absolutely calming and hypnotizing to I live I get to experience many rainy days, probably more than most people would enjoy.
La Push sits on the Pacific Coast in Washington State close to the Olympic Peninsula, which means we are under a near constant curtain of clouds and rain. On La Push resides a small Native American Reservation with an approximate population of ten thousand. Since the Quileute Tribe is such a small one we tend to know each other's business. Everyone seems to gossip and know everyone's secrets -sometimes even before the person knows it themselves.
Despite living in a small, tight knit community growing up I always felt alone. As if, I was walking two steps behind everyone. Or that everyone had a key to a door that I didn't even know existed. I've kept to myself for most of my life, preferring the outdoors to social interactions. I'd much rather be ankle deep in water, fly fishing or getting my hands dirty with fresh soil as I rock climbed the many cliffs we have around this area- anything that was dangerous or got my adrenaline up I was into doing and loved. I've even gotten into my fair share of fist fights…. But those were for pure entertainment than brutality, even thought my little brother constantly reminds me I have anger problems.
Despite my social awkwardness, I am very close to my family. I am the epitome of a "Daddy's Girl," we hunt and fish at least twice a month together. Although my mother and I don't agree on much I love her and love to be in the kitchen with her. I absolutely adore my little brother, Seth.
There is one more person I think of when I hear the word, 'family.' Emily Young.
Emily is my second cousin who lives in a larger Reservation about two hours North-West from La Push. I don't get to see Emily that much but when I do, we are inseparable. She is like the sister I never had. I honestly don't know what I'd do without her in my life.
Even with my family, they still never completely fill this void I have in the deep, dark pit of my stomach.
Three Years.
Well,it'll be three years, come next Thursday.
Next Thursday will mark the three year anniversary that I have not had that aching, gnawing feeling inside of me. Thursday will also mark three years that I have been in a relationship with the most amazing person I have ever met.
Sam Uley.
Sam is only a year older than me, so I've always seen him at school activities and community functions but never had spoken to him. The first time we ever had a conversation was my first day of high school. I'll never forget it because that's the day that changed my entire life. I was running late for first class, which wasn't surprising. I am not what someone would call a 'Morning Person.'
I was sprinting across the school's side lawn when I ran head first into, what felt like a concrete wall. But, no, it was just Sam. The wind was knocked out of my lungs and before my brain could register what was happening or that I was falling back for that matter – his muscular arms were reaching out for me cradling me to his chest. He smelt of warm caramel and firewood, and all it took was him asking, "Are you okay." For me to fall completely and utterly in love with him.
Sam is the love of my life. I know I must sound like a typical teenage girl, rambling on about my boyfriend…. But I am not a typical girl and Sam is not a typical teenage boy. He's strong, body and mind. He's smart, and not just book smart he's far more mature than any of the boys at school. He has kind, brown eyes and soft, strong hands. Meeting Sam sent my world ablaze, I never thought I had the ability to love someone the way I love Sam. I have never genuinely cared about someone's wellbeing until him.
Meeting Sam, made me hyper aware of the world around me. My days seem to brighter and my nights warmer. Everything fell into place the moment I fell into his arms.
The sound of the last bell pulled me out of my daydream. As I collected my things I felt butterflies growing in my belly. Feelings began to deepen south of my belly, my body knew that Sam was close. I let my legs following that feeling across the classroom. Once I passed the threshold and was in the hallway I saw him leaning against a floor to ceiling window, waiting for me.
Our eyes connected and mirrored smirks formed on each of our faces. Nothing will ever be wrong in this world as long as I get to call this man mine.
