Day 1

Sam walked into the kitchen to find Katie at the counter cutting up a pile of fruit. He was just outside of her peripheral vision, though he didn't know it, and he walked past her to the fridge to get a beer.

Katie whipped her head around and stared at him, eyes wide, and he looked curiously back at her. "Is everything OK?" he asked, slowly closing the fridge door and taking a step backwards. She was clearly in some form of distress. But just as suddenly, her shoulders dropped and her face loosened. A strange smile appeared on her lips. Sam's eyes darted to the knife in her tightly clenched hand, but as he watched, her eyes followed his and they both saw her fingers slowly unclench the handle, one by one. She set the knife on the counter and backed away, wiping her hands on a towel before going to sit at the kitchen table. Sam watched her, but she didn't say anything. Something was strange.

"I'm..I don't know," she finally said. "I feel strange, but not…bad strange. Not that kind of strange. Sorry if I scared you with the knife, I didn't mean too." Sam was used to her survival tactics by now, and he came over to join her at the table. "No worries. What do you mean, strange?" he asked.

"I feel…like I should be feeling something else." She said slowly. She clenched and relaxed her hands in front of her as she spoke. "When you came up behind me, I tensed, but I didn't feel the wave of panic I usually feel when I'm surprised. It was more of an automatic reaction, and my body seemed too almost, well…" she broke off and stared at her hands.

Then, "Holy shit."

"What?" Sam asked. Katie was gazing at her hands with growing excitement in her face. Suddenly, she looked up at Sam, meeting his eyes.

"Sam!" she said, in a way that combined both hope and fear and longing and excitement and emotion all in one. "It was an automatic reaction, but it wasn't uncontrolled. What I'm feeling is awareness! I feel how tense my muscles are, how sore from being tight, and that feels strange because I'm usually not thinking it, I'm living it! But I'm not living it now!" she got up and held her hand out in front of Sam's face. His expression was curious and bewildered and beginning to understand all at once.

"Look!" Katie said hoarsely. "You can't see it, but I can feel it! My hands are so sore, but that's because the muscles are learning to relax. Sam, I think…I think I'm getting better! I think I'm starting to recover!" Katie put her hands to her head, her chest heaving as she breathed rapidly, but even as Sam realized what she was saying, her breathing slowed down. He stood up, and she turned around and faced him, looking him in the eyes. "I'm getting better, Sam. It's finally happening!" She paused, true happiness on her face, and then rushed forward to give him a hug.

"That's so great, Katie. I'm so proud of you." He said, and they embraced, the fruit forgotten on the counter.

Day 2

"Are you…are you reading porn?" Sam asked, a little surprised and a little stern. He knew how easy it was for me to relapse, how hard I could fall.

"Surprisingly, no." I responded casually. "I did open the website thinking something along those lines, but then I decided to grammar check it instead. Now, I'm rewriting it and honestly that's pretty fulfilling."

"Huh. Well, don't stay too long. You don't need the relapse."

"I know. Thanks for checking up on me, but I'm actually, really, not doing horribly. I'm kind of Okay." Sam sneaked a glance at her and noticed the small smile on her face, the relaxed pose of her body. She really was doing well.

Maybe she was recovering better than they thought.