Disclaimer:: I do not own Bleach. I only own the character known as Kotaru Kairi, and this story.

I hope you like it!

Also, I am sorry for the mention of suicide, I am not mocking anyone.

Suicide is serious, and no one should ever do it.

However, sometimes, it fits my stories.

As I have said in my profile, my stories are made to feel real, even when they are about fictional things.

So, I choose real life things.

Drugs, Suicide, Rape, Murder, ect.

If you don't like it, I suggest that you read some of my other stories that are rated T and below.

Thank you.


The air was silent as two people stood alone, in middle of the desert. A young girl, appearing to be around the age of seventeen, stood, her gaze fixtated on the young man in front of her.

Kotaru Kairi. She had short brown hair, reaching to her ears, her bangs hanging in her eyes. Her pale skin shone with a strange orange colour as the setting sun's rays beat down upon her. Her dark blue eyes looked cold; they would be emotionless if not for the shade of loneliness shining in them dully. There were two black markings on both sides of her face, resembling tears cascading down her cheeks. Part of a hollow mask rested on the left side of her mouth, always a deadly grin, while her real lips were straight, unwavering. There was also bone upon her head, acting as headphones, that covered her ears. On both of her wrists, dangled shackles, the chains reaching to her ankles. She wore a white outfit, unmistakably noticeable in the Soul Society. Part of her top was open, showing off a hole, right where her heart should be.

She always told a very strange story. She had the tear marks, because she would never let anyone see her crying. She had the grin, because she always wore a fake smile as if it were a mask. She had the headphones, because she was tired of hearing others' whispers. She had the chains, because she always felt as though she were trapped. She died to get rid of these things. And then, even in the end, she just gained them once again.

Kotaru Kairi had killed herself on the day she had turned seventeen. When she was fifteen, she had confessed her love to her best friend. Her friend told her nothing would change between them, but of course, it did. The one she had fallen for hardly talked to her after that, leaving Kairi to fall into a pit of despair. Most people kept away from her after everyone learned of her desire for her best friend. The few who knew her past, merely writ it off as being traumatized. Kairi was sexually assaulted many times as a child, and grew to fear any relationship with a man. Two years after she had confessed, Kairi tried to talk to the one she still harbored feelings for. Everyone around them stopped their conversations in awed silence, surprised that she would even attempt to speak to the object of her infatuation. Kairi couldn't say that the response was surprising, although she hadn't exactly expected it to be so harsh. She said a simple hello, and attempted to smile. The world came crashing down once again as they laughed in her face. Of course, after the one started, everyone joined in the laughter. Kairi went home that day with bruises from some of the students. That was the last day they would see her.

She always thought life would get better. After all, her childhood was rough enough. But no, it just got worse. She thought that if she ended it, she would at least be away from all the lies. All of the times she struggled not to cry. All of the times she had to wear a fake smile. All of the times she had to block out everyone's laughter. She thought she would find silence in the afterlife. Maybe even peace. It just got worse, as a man with slicked back brown hair came to her in her spirit form, and held out a welcoming hand.

That day happened over ten years ago.


The man that stood in front of her was none other then Abarai Renji. He stood only a few yards away from Kairi, his zanpakuto outstretched in front of him, a look of determination painted over his face.

It was only a week ago that Kairi had told Renji that she harbored feelings for him. Feelings that she never expected to feel again. He could only look at her in shock, and draw his sword away from the girl's neck. He was planning on killing her. Though he wasn't sure if she was telling the truth, or just using a dirty trick to spare some time, he turned and walked away, pitying the girl. He had heard her story, as his alley Ichigo had told it to him once.

She was an Arrancar; He was a Soul Reaper. Even if, for some strange reason, they felt the same towards each other, there was no way for it to end happily.


Now, Renji was on a mission. A mission he would have rather say he couldn't complete. The captain's had learned that Renji failed to kill the arrancar, and sent him to finish the job. If not, they would send a captain to finish them both.


"You know what has to happen," Renji's voice reached over to her, surprisingly soft.

"I know," the girl replied, the same look in her eyes.

Renji took a fighting stance, and used flash step. He appeared next to Kairi, expecting her to try to dodge. Blood splattered over the tan sand as he jumped away, a frown on his face.

"Why won't you defend yourself!?" He growled, looking at the gash on her upper arm. Blood continued to ooze from the wound, but she stood there, looking indifferent.

"You know why," Kairi's quiet voice called back over to him. He was farther away from her then when he started.

"I can't let you leave here alive, arrancar!" His reply seemed strained. If she didn't know any better, she'd almost think she was reluctant to kill her.

There was a moment's pause before an answer was heard. "I didn't ask to be this way."

Renji scowled. "That doesn't matter."

"I didn't ask to feel this way." Her voice held the same tone, almost uncaring.

"That doesn't matter either. Now, fight me, or die willingly!" He raised his zanpakuto once again, ready to strike.

"I didn't want it to end this way." This time, Kairi's voice wavered, almost breaking. She stood still, as she felt something wet slide down her cheek, mirroring her markings.

"But it will. Howl, Zabimaru!" Renji released his Shikai. As Zabimaru grew in length, it covered half the distance that was in between the two.

"I know." Kairi closed her eyes as she whispered, and didn't try to defend herself as she felt Renji's zanpakuto rake through her chest. She didn't scream, didn't cry out in pain. Arrancars didn't fear death. If anything, they sometimes took it gladly.

Reni pulled Zabimaru out of the girl's chest, knowing that she would be dead without even having to check. It felt wrong, in a way. She just stood there, allowing him to kill her.

As Kairi's lifeless body slumped onto the ground, Renji looked down upon it, his gaze softening.

Looks like Kotaru Kairi had a new chapter to her story, one that only Renji could tell. She had died because of love, again.