A/N: Hey everyone! Dunno what happened to caught your interest and made you decided to click on this story. I'm always writing stories and dreaming my little fantasies. However, my love for D.Gray man had finally encouraged me to actually post my story here. I'm a long time reader, but it's my first time posting here, and it's my first major story. This story isn't perfect, not even anywhere close to that state of perfection I wanna believe my writing is. Hope you enjoy anyways!

Chibi Kanda- Che, like anyone will waste their time reading your stories.

Tofu- Who said that you could comment here?

Chibi Kanda- I was forced here...unwillingly. (points to moyashi and Lavi behind him)

Chibi Allen- It's ALLEN!

Chibi Lavi- (waves a large flag) WHOO! Let's get this story started!

Bakappuru-

by Ultimate Stir-Fried Tofu

Chibi Lavi- Disclaimer: Tofu-chan does not own D. Gray man. So she's stuck writing fanfics to waste time before the next chapter comes out.

Summary- AU/ Kanda certainly didn't ask to be kidnapped by Lavi and his new-age hippie van to go on a cross-country road trip. But when karma tells you to fall in love with a certain white-haired moyashi, what could go wrong? Yullen


Day 1- California: The Kidnapping

Lavi was a freaking genius. And the best part was that he was well aware of this.

It was hard for him not to acknowledge his own intelligence sometimes. If you were gifted, then why waste that talent by not using it? He always made a habit to take a plunge in his endless fountain of knowledge. After all, one does not become a Bookman by being lazy and lolling around. Although most people would be quick to point out that by saying it aloud, he would be a hypocrite.

Lavi always made a point to skim between the borders of sheer brilliance and complete stupidity. In truth, sometimes there is NO difference between those two.

However, being a genius did not come without its faults. It meant that Lavi saw the world a little differently than others.

This was very dangerous indeed.

When armed with a simple piece of information and his own brilliance, in a matter of minutes Lavi had the makings of a scheme of epic proportions. One that would usually involve the welfare of others dragged unwillingly into his little mess that will quickly turn into a giant pandemonium.

So what managed to spark off this chain of chaotic events? It all started with a phone call from an old friend.

In truth, a back-story will be provided to understand the importance of this phone call.

Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee and Allen were the best of friends (although certain members of this group would say otherwise). It all began in elementary school when a young red-haired boy told his dark-haired male classmate that he thought he looked like a girl... and promptly got beaten up. This was the beginning of a wonderful relationship, one that revolved around constant teasing and death threats. And then they both entered junior high, where the red-haired apparently never learned the meaning of 'go away' and the other boy was unfortunately stuck with him.

There they became friends with two other students (in all due respect Lavi became their friends, Kanda just sat there and ignored them) and inducted them in their little group. There was a cute Chinese girl who had an over-protective older brother with a sister complex, and a strange white-haired student that looked like he belonged in elementary school. Both were a grade lower than Lavi and Kanda, but they hung out everywhere. And so the four of them became the 'best friends'.

And then things changed last summer, when Lavi and Kanda were about to enter senior year of high school and their younger friends heading to junior year.

Lenalee moved away.

She was uprooted from their little garden patch of friendship and whisked away by the metaphoric wind. Komui worked as a scientist and was given a promotion to teach students at a university. However, by accepting that position it meant moving all the way to the other side of the country. They still managed to stay in touch by emails, phone calls, and their monthly Sunday 'play date', where they gathered and talked through Lavi's webcam.

Then there was the phone call.

The one that lead them all into this giant mess.

Lenalee was moving back to L.A, California.

After a year later, she was already coming back home. Apparently her brother decided that they missed home too much and Lenalee was to finish her senior year at her old high school. They were moving back within a month's time, since Komui also had some sort of science convention he had to attend and that would take some time. It would be one happy reunion, filled with tearful hugs and over protective brothers.

Lavi's mind kicked into 'plotting mode' when he heard the news.

If Lenalee was moving back in a month, that also leaves for enough time for a road trip. Already his mind was in over-drive mode and was filling in all the little gaps and details of this plan-that-would-lead-to-no-good. Yes, he could drive all the way across the country, pick up Lenalee and then head back home. And along the way, who's to say he couldn't stop at a couple of places and sight see?

And then, Lavi smirked.

Of course, a road trip is no fun without your friends.


Kanda hated Monday mornings.

It was up there on his top 10 most hated list, along with sweet things, naïve people and a certain white-haired moyashi. Although Kanda will have to take into account on the latter part of his list. After all, just how many moyashis did he know that also happen to have white hair?

Going back to his original statement, Kanda has never woken up happy on a Monday morning. Actually, it was a fact that Kanda never woke up happy at all. Period. After a weekend of rest and focusing on his sword training, he never really liked being reminded that he had to return to school the following day. Although, he always had high grades and was top of his class, he didn't like school. He hated talking to other people and everyone at his school seem to irritate him.

There was a lot of things he didn't like.

Of course, he had graduated from high school not a week ago. So, he was hoping that Monday mornings would change when the summer began and he didn't have to listen to an annoying red-haired Bookman, or dart glances at his shorter-but-equally-naïve Moyashi.

Oh, how dreadfully wrong Yuu was.

And so, as Kanda woke up he could tell that something was very wrong.

For one thing, he -or something- was moving, and that was never a good thing. There was also the hazy wakening that was associated with a hangover…or after consuming lot of sleeping pills drugs. He was also tied up with rope and duct tape on his hands and feet. And there was a large chain wrapped around his entire body, binding him so he could hardly move an inch.

Hello. This sobered things up pretty quickly.

Wide awake, Kanda realized he was in the back seat of a moving van, and he glared daggers at the rear view mirror. Even without the view of the mirror, the back of the driver's seat couldn't block the familiar head of red hair. The red hair of an evil master mind genius.

He. was. so. dead.

"LAVI! What the fuck do you think you're doing? UNTIE ME!"

Lavi, to owe him some credit, didn't crash the van due to the sound of Kanda's outraged yells. Instead his only action was to grin a deranged smile at the mirror. "Yuu-pon! You finally woke up! Good, I was beginning to think I might have given you too many sleeping pills."

Kanda's head snapped up. "WHAT?"

"Well, you see I knew you would never agree to what I had planned, and it's not like I could've left you behind! So I went into your room when you were sleeping and I might have- kinda forced a handful of sleeping pills into your mouth."

"I WILL KILL YOU. I will kill you right now, and make it look like a bloody accident."

The deadly tone of Kanda's voice frightened Lavi a little. He was used to death threats, he got them every single day. After all, one does not become friends with Kanda without suffering from a couple of -ahem- threats, which Lavi usually believes to be Kanda's way of showing emotions. But, Lavi forgot one important thing.

Thou shall never fuck around when there's a dangerous kidnapped Japanese samurinja in the back seat of their van.

"You see, I've always had a thing about bodily dismemberment so-"

"Lavi, there's not even gonna be a body to find when I'm done with you."

And Lavi knew that Kanda was completely serious. "Can you at least promise me that I'll die painlessly?"

"I'm not making any promises I can't keep."

Lavi decided to shut his mouth right now, as to ensure the remaining safety of the organs he currently had. He avoided looking in the mirror, because Kanda was trying to kill Lavi with his sight alone, or sheer willpower. Either way, the glare was freaking him out.

And when Kanda realized that his death glare was having no effect when he can't look at the target, he tried a different method. Talking his way out.

"Lavi. Why am I tied up?"

"Well, I was planning to defile your body for a bit." Kanda emitted a deep growl. "But, instead we're taking a cross country road trip to pick up our precious Lenalee! Isn't it going to be fun? It's just gonna be you, me and moyashi-kun on the road for the next month!"

At the sound of 'moyashi-kun' Kanda gave a quick glance at the van's surroundings. It seems in his initial panic and outrage he seem to have missed the white-haired boy. Allen was located on right side and was pressed tightly up against Kanda, he using his side as a make-shift human pillow. If Kanda had a heart, he would have described the way his lashes casted soft shadows on his face, and the way the sun hit Allen's white hair so it appeared silver and shining. The peaceful serene look on his soft features, and the steady tiny rise and falls of his breathing. He gave short light snores in his sleep that sounded almost musical.

Then there was the uncomfortable skip in his heartbeat that always happened when Allen was around.

But Kanda believes in bliss in denial, so he chose to ignore those details and focus on one important fact-

"Why the fuck am I tied up but he isn't?"

"See, I only had enough material to tie one of you up properly, so neither of you would harm me. Well, I asked myself, 'which one of my friends is likely to wake up in a homicidal rage and slaughter me in a bloody fiasco when he finds out I've kidnapped him?'"

"And you thought of me. I'm flattered."

"Oh, don't be! Now, I'm blushing!"

"When moyashi wakes up we're both kicking your ass and beating you to a pulp."

Lavi turned his grinning face into one that looked very guilty and embarrassed. He gave a light chuckle and started scratching the back of his head. "Yeah, that's the thing…I'm not actually sure when he's gonna wake up."

"WHAT?"

"See, after I kidnapped you I decided to go get Allen, but sadly he was already awake. And you know how much our little moyashi likes to eat, he had already cooked up this huge breakfast. So I wasn't sure what I should stuff the sleeping pills into, and we were kinda on a tight schedule as it was. In the end, I just dropped a buncha them into his coffee and forced it down his throat. I think I gave him too much though." He added the last part as an afterthought.

"That has got to be the stupidest thing you've done! No. This whole trip is stupid! When I get my Mugen I'm gonna slice-"

Kanda stopped his angry rant when a sudden wave of dizziness washed over him. Confused he shook his head, but that only made him feel faint. All of a sudden, he started feeling kinda light-headed and very sleepy. Through his darken haze he could hear Lavi say-

"Whoops. Looks like the after effects are kicking in. Nighty, night Yuu."

He couldn't lift up his heavy eyelids and there was this soothing sense shooting through his body, a feeling that he couldn't fight off. Kanda felt himself relax and fell back alongside Allen, until he was pressed up against the smaller boy. He felt all warm and tingly, and was aware of Allen's body heat escaping into his.

He was starting to wish he had never woken up.


Chibi Kanda/Allen- (glares)

Tofu- (sweats) I swear, I HAD to drug you! Otherwise, you've never agreed to this road trip and then the plot wouldn't have gone anywhere!

Chibi Allen- Did you ever thought about asking us?

Tofu- ...Would you have still done it?

Chibi Kanda- HELL NO!

Tofu- And that's why I didn't ask. (avoids getting cut by Mugen) Careful! I have insurance, and I'll sue the Innocence outta Yu!