Chapter One

When Apollo made the choice to live and work in Khura'in, he could have sworn time stopped working properly. Months felt like weeks and years at the same time. Faces and crimes and stories all blended together, and in that moment, Apollo forgot them all.

Unfortunately, that happened a lot. Especially when he was stressed.

Luckily, there were some people who were always there, helping him stay on the right side of sanity. Keeping the records straight and the schedule organized so he never tried to defend a pickpocket for murder. More than once, anyway.

Datz was great on investigations, but had a way of causing trouble everywhere he went. Not to mention, he still thought it was funny to set off fireworks at crime scenes, bazaars, and police headquarters.

Ahlbi was helpful around the office, but Apollo knew his situation. If he didn't send a certain amount of money to his mother every month, his siblings might go without food. If he worked and helped Apollo at the same time, he would have no time for an education from the temple. Apollo couldn't bring himself to deny a kid learning, no matter how common it might be in this part of the world.

In the end, his most vital assistant was Beh'leeb Inmee. Thanks to her dutiful record keeping for the past twelve years, abuses and incidents of the previous regime were no longer hidden from the public. At the side of her child, she spoke to witnesses on his behalf, translated endless documents into English, and (most recently) stood by him in court. With her steady hand and composed counseling, he found himself floundering less and less. Her reputation as an abbot's widow brought the more stubborn of defendants to him for help. She had become vital to not just the success of him, but of the entire revolution.

One day, he asked. "Have you considered becoming a lawyer, Ms. Inmee?"

She shook her head. "I can't see myself doing more than I already am. Sorry to let you down, but Faitah is too young for me to run around as you do." She paused. "And please, call me Beh'leeb."

So their partnership continued. Apollo was more grateful than he had time to express. The minutes and hours bled into days and weeks. There were days when Beh'leeb's soothing words were the only thing strapping him down to sanity. Days when her face was the only friendly thing he saw.

And though Faitah would scream and cry while they both worked in his office, he never minded the young boy's presence. Looking into the face of someone so young reminded him to hope for the future. The future his father had given his life to bring about.

"Will you hold Faitah for few minutes? I need to get him some food."

"No worries, Beh'leeb." Apollo picked up the six-month-old from his mother's arms and smiled. "You'll be fine, Faitah!"

Gurgles. Apollo didn't get any work done in Beh'leeb's absence, preferring to bounce the baby up and down, encouraging him to scream with Chords of Steel.

"Remember Faitah. A dragon never yields!"

"Agoh! Agoh!"

A laugh from the doorway. Beh'leeb was watching them.

"Faitah likes you," she commented, bags under her eyes. She opened a jar of mush, placing some on a spoon and persuading her son to eat.

"I hope he does. He'll be seeing a lot my face for a few years."

She tilted her head. concerned. "I do hope he doesn't distract you too much. You have five cases tomorrow."

"I need the distraction." Apollo responded, eyes getting heavy. "And he's a part of you. I don't mind having him here if it means you can help me out."

"That's a relief." Beh'leeb was tired. Usually she was calm and collected, but lately she'd been reaching her limits. It was concerning to him.

"Has something been going on?"

"It's almost May," she whispered. "The Purification Rite is in three weeks."

"Oh." Apollo remembered the story. Last year, in the days before the rite, Beh'leeb had nearly been killed. The man she saw as a son had been a member of the secret police. One day, he found her in a rebel hideout, and died in a struggle with her. Tahrust Inmee killed himself to save her life. "Are you-"

"No. The new abbot and his wife will lead the rituals. It is my choice, whether or not I pray that day."

"Will you?"

"Not at Mount Poniponi. I…" She turned to him, a tear streaking her face. "I'm going to visit Tahrust."

Apollo didn't know exactly where the guy had been buried, but he knew Nahyuta had given him many posthumous honors, so it was probably somewhere nice. "Do you want me to watch Faitah when you go? I wasn't going to pray during the rite anyway."

"That would be wonderful."

And at that moment, a strange feeling welled up inside him. A sense of connection, through shared trials and mutual pain. A brave face over a grieving heart, hidden for the child's sake.

Even though the wounds were great, Apollo knew they would heal with time. As the days swept by and time wove the strands of history, two people relied on each other to reach happier times.

And happier times would come. But first, Apollo would let her grieve.


The day of the Purification Rite was quiet, aside from the prayers carried on the wind. At least half the city had shut down for the event, and Apollo chose to take advantage of the peace and quiet to do some much needed cleaning around the office and home. He'd been lucky enough to buy a place between his office and the Hall of Justice, making the daily commute much easier.

Of course, he couldn't leave Faitah in a room by himself. Apollo didn't know what he would do if the kid got into something and Apollo wasn't there to stop him. Apollo ended up putting the kid in a makeshift pouch where he slept through the constant motion. It made him look like a kangaroo, but Apollo didn't mind.

"Is this what it's like being a father?" Apollo wondered to himself. Sure, he was only twenty-five, but there was no harm in thinking about it. Plenty of guys in Khura'in had kids older than Faitah by his age. And after his turbulent past, he liked the idea of adopting a kid for its whole childhood. Give it the nice, stable home he hadn't been able to receive growing up. Dhurke and his biological father would have liked the idea.

Maybe when he was less busy (and not, you know, the only lawyer in town) he could ask Mr. Wright about the adoption process. He would know what it was like, with Trucy and all.

The rest of his day was spent much the same, with Apollo going back home after the paperwork beast had been tamed to floors that needed to be swept. He was in the middle of his kitchen when he heard the knock on the door.

"Who is it?" he called out. No answer.

So he walked over to the door, Faitah awake and poking at his badge as he turned the knob, opening up to Beh'leeb's crying face.

"Whoa, hey." She looked almost pale. "How did your visit to-"

"Terrible." Beh'leeb blew past him, collapsing into one of his chairs. She never barged into anywhere. Except for the temple that one protest.

"Did something happen?"

She shook her head, reaching out for her son. Apollo unhooked Faitah from his pouch and handed him over. He looked happy to see his mother, then confused.

"I tried to explain to Tahrust… I wanted to… I couldn't do it."

"What did you want to tell Tahrust?" Apollo paused. "Wait, did you actually ask to-"

"No, he wasn't channeled. I was talking to a grave. I wanted to say… how I always appreciated him, and what he did for me."

"Thank him for saving you last year."

"Not just that." Beh'leeb turned to Apollo. "You don't understand. I married Tahrust when I was seventeen. He was twenty-eight, and had just become an abbot. My father had been killed as a rebel. My mother died long before. He took me in to save my reputation. That… that was the third time we met."

He didn't know that. "Wow."

"He was so patient with me. He never forced me into his bed, never made me do something I wasn't ready for… I came to rely on him."

"I can imagine." He couldn't imagine getting married at seventeen. And to a virtual stranger, at that. "But you eventually had a child together, right?"

"We'd been married for fourteen years. He wanted kids so badly… I wish I'd given them to him sooner. I wish I hadn't been so hesitant. Then maybe…" She choked on a sob. "Maybe he could have been a father before he died."

"Hey," he put his hand on his shoulder, trying to sooth her. "I'm sure he doesn't blame you. He loved you, and didn't want you do something you weren't ready for."

"Tahrust always did so much for me. I wish I could have done more for him."

"What do you mean? You were his wife. You were his-"

"I cleaned for him. I cooked for him. I went with him to rites and rebel meetings and assisted in sermons. I carried his child. But I didn't do the one thing a wife should do."

"Don't say that. It sounds like you were a great wife. What else could you have done for him?"

"I could have loved him."

Apollo froze. Faitah blinked. Beh'leeb broke down into sobs.

"I thought I did, I swear. And it's not that I don't, I'm just… I'm very confused. I thought I'd learn to love him better over the years. He saved me from homelessness, it would have been the least I could do.

"But now… I'm not sure. He gave he his life, and I couldn't even give him the first thing he deserved."

Apollo stuttered a bit, trying to think of what to say. "Don't blame yourself, Beh'leeb. You can't control how you feel. And I doubt Tahrust would blame you, even if you could. Your situation… it wasn't a normal one. The two of you got along, and together, you served the rebellion well. You were good servants of the Holy Mother, people this country looked up to. You had Faitah together.

"My point is, you did a lot of good. Don't shame yourself if your relationship wasn't like everyone else's." Apollo pulled it close. "The way he went out… it sounds like he died with no regrets. If he isn't upset with how things turned out between you two, you shouldn't be either."

She sniffled. "You mean it? You won't judge me, for the things I've told you?"

"Of course not. Beh'leeb, you're the greatest assistant I could have out here. More than that. You keep me sane. And if I can occasionally do that for you… it's the least I can do.

"Repeat after me: you'll be fine!"

"I'll be fine." she said weakly, turning her attention to her baby. "He needs to be fed. Sorry for bothering you."

"It's no trouble, really." He looked her in the eye. "I mean it, Beh'leeb. You do so much for me."

"And you too."

As she was walking he out, he heard her murmur, almost under her breath. "Maybe one day, I'll know how love feels."

Apollo hoped she did. And maybe one day, he'd be there to see it.


A/N's: So there was a request on the kink meme for Apollo rarepairs, and the idea of Beh'leeb/Apollo was too appealing to not take a stab at.

Also, this is my first time writing Beh'leeb as a major character in a fic, so I hope I did okay. I kinda took a lot of liberties with the relationship she and Tahrust had, but it suits the fic and what I have planned. No obvious shippiness yet, but it will come, I promise.

And yes, I promise I am working on my other fics too. But everyone needs a break from time to time, am I right?

Anyway, thanks for the read, I hope you review, and I'll see you on the far side!