Disclaimer: You know, not mine (sadly) just borrowing for fun -and catharsis ;) -

Author notes: ; _; My quotation marks!!!! ;_;

Ok… This is a repost since it has come to my attention (thanks to some wonderful reviewers) that my quotation marks are banishing the moment I post the story (It happened with my Silmarillion story as well.) Thanks to Lysana for the tip to solve this awful situation, since I myself absolutely HATE a text without quotation marks.

So here we go again...

There are not incest or slash here (I mean, come on!) I dont want Lewis ghost haunting me at night. Just some angst and fluff.

And mostly this is movie-verse from the WWL with a little book-verse. Because really, the movie is filled with more Edmund-angst than the book ;)

My privilege and pleasure

Part 1

Edmund was the one supervising all the arrangements to return to Cair Paravel after a victorious campaign of three weeks in the north-eastern borders of Narnia, while his brother the High King slept in the royal tent.

Midday was approaching fast and the young king wanted to be on their way before afternoon. The sooner they were in the Cair, the sooner Peter will be more comfortable and as consequence, the sooner he will recover.

It was Edmund the one who after the battle, took the leadership of the Narnian army, since his heroic, yet hasty brother had been wounded badly fighting for their land and their people. Again.

The wound was not life threatening, but Peter due to pain and blood loss wasn't able to stand still for two minutes before he began to feel dizzy and stumble towards the ground barely unconscious, to Edmund utmost concern, resignation and annoyance.

"Just for once, dear brother, I would like very much to see you returning to the Cair without injury of any sort" the younger king had said last night as the healers had retreat from their tent. Of course, Peter didnt answer, as he was fast sleep.

Or rather unconscious, Edmund remembered sighing and resting his head in a nearby pillar of the remaining tents that was luckily close to where he was standing. Soon after, all his body found the support of said pillar.

It was beginning to be custom. Peter will throw himself to battle, the heart and soul of the Narnian army. He will lead them to glory and victory, but at the end, he will be injured in some way or another.

And Edmund will take leadership from that point, assuring the safe return home, checking details and in general, taking his brothers duty and adding it to his own.

"Are you al right, your highness?" The soft voice of a faun took him out of his musings about careless, heroic elder brothers.

"Mmm? Oh! Yes, of course" Edmund answered blinking quickly, recognizing Boecnus one of the captains of the army.

"I am sorry to disturb you, sire, but we were wondering what road we will be taking to Cair Paravel. Almost everything is ready and we need to start preparing the cargos on the road"

"Yes of course" One of the things Edmund had been thinking last night was which was the best direction to return home. It made time pass more swiftly between the watch on his elder brother and his watch on the camp. "We will take the western road"

As Boecnus watched him, Edmund was suddenly very self conscious. It had been just a couple of years since the four brothers had been crowned as Kings and Queens of Narnia, and Edmund knew that his treachery still weighted in some of the narnians, even if they recognized him as one of their sovereigns.

So he felt the need of explain his actions and decisions in some way. This, in the eyes of his subjects was seen as a trait of the title he had been given: the Just, because as he shared his reasoning behind his actions, he made them part of them and they could see that Edmund indeed considered each one of his subjects.

"The western road will allow the wounded to suffer less from the hardships of an uneven path. The eastern border will be quicker, but with more irregular terrain that might aggravate our wounded"

Boecnuss face lit with Edmunds words. Nodding happily, he bowed and left to inform the kings decision.

Edmund sighed again and wearily stood straight and left the pillar he was leaning on. He needed to see some more issues before he went to wake up his bother so the royal tent could be lifted up.

A weave of dizziness get hold on him and he took a quick breath to steady himself. He suddenly was very conscious of the minor wounds he had sustained in the battle, as well as his lack of sleep and of food.

Now that he thought about it, he had not taking anything since the last battle started a couple of nights before.

Having a late breakfast (or a very early lunch) seemed a very good idea, and he was sure he could take a little moment to eat something.

So with those thoughts he approached to the cooks side of the camp, which was one of the last parts to be lifted up.

When he came closer, the Narnians who were there, apparently with the same intentions to catch a late breakfast, stood in respect. Smiling, Edmund nodded to them, indicating to sat again and continue with their meal.

"Good cook" Edmund said to a chipmunk that was in charge for the moment "Is there a lucky chance for me to have..." but the young king never had the chance to finish, as he soon found himself holding a dish full of fruits and grains and a cup of berry juice.

Blinking twice, Edmund smiled amused to the hyper mood of the narnian chipmunks. "Thank you"

"You are most welcome, Your Highness" the chipmunk said happy with himself for having pleased his young king, but soon frowned in concern at said king.

Edmund, lacking his usual grace, just let himself fall in a log that had the purpose to be used to sit on while one was eating. All the other animals and three fauns that were there, frown as well.

Edmund looked pale, and now that they could see him closely they were able to notice more than a couple of bloody spots on his sleeves, chest and legs. They also notice that he seemed to favour his left arm. His hole left side, actually.

"Umm Excuse me your majesty?" A lynx started to speak, a little doubtful.

"Yes?" Edmund said curious, lifting his eyes up from his meal.

"Are you... umm... alright?" A faun asked next.

"Yes, of course" Edmund said confused.

All the Narnians nodded unconvinced, but not further word was spoken about the topic. They eyed their beloved king with concern, though.

Edmund, on his part, was too lost in thoughts of the road ahead, his sisters who he shall been seen after almost a month, the last details of the army leaving and of how he will trick Peter to stay put in the journey, to notice.

Arranging his posture as to not upset his left arm, at this point obvious to the onlookers that it was injured, Edmund left his dish on the ground and took his cup of juice, glad to drink something fresh.

"He does not even notice he is injured" whispered a leopard distressed. Edmund raised his head with a question in his eyes.

"Is there something I can do for you?" he asked now very confused as he found all looking at them.

"My liege, how is your royal brother?" said a faun changing topics, so maybe they could make Edmund relax and let slip something about himself. No big chance, since this was the most skilful diplomat of the kingdom, but for the Narnians, it was worth a try.

"He is now resting, but all in all, he is doing fine."

"My liege" a thunderous voice interrupted them and they saw a centaur approaching "You are needed"

Nodding, Edmund stood up, breathing deeply (it was rather a sharp intake of air, if you asked the Narnians) and composing himself.

"Dont worry" the Just King said as he handed his glass and cup, which he had finished, to the waiting chipmunk "The High King will be recover sooner than you know" and with that he left to met with the centaur.

All the animals and fauns that were there sighed concerned, but in peace. They werent worried, not as long as King Edmund the Just took matters in his hands.

***

As he came closer, Edmund notice that the centaur who was calling him was one of the few Narnians who still looked at him with anger and distrust.

It was not that many Narnians still resented him, but centaurs and fauns were mostly the ones that didnt care for him. Yes, they respected and followed him, but it was out of duty, not love.

Sighing, Edmund fall to step next to the centaur.

"Good morning Usaries"

"My King" Usaries bowed. "We will be ready to depart in an hour. The last tents, that is, the Royal tent, the cooks and the healings, are to be lifted at your orders. Also, Philippe wants a word with you"

"Very well. Fist the cook tent will be raised. After that is done, the wounded will follow as well as the Royal tent. I will see to the High King while that is being done. Please, tell Oreious I will see him as soon as possible in the northern side, Ill be with Philippe"

Bowing the centaur left, leaving Edmund alone.

***

Oreious was supervising the last armoury being packed away. Soon they will be on their way to Cair Paravel, and the centaur was making sure that no incidents will surprised them in the journey home.

"Oreious!" someone called him.

"Well meet Usaries" the general greeted his kindred.

"Under Aslan's plains" Usaries responded as was costume with that race. "King Edmund wants to speak to you"

Nodding Oreious called a female centaur that was giving orders to the fauns packing the weapons "Irias! You are in charge."

With a martial salute, she acknowledged her general and headed to where Oreious had been, so she could take his position.

Oreious and Usaries walked together for a while, as each other businesses were in the same direction.

"King Edmund ordered to start lifting up the remaining tents." Usaries informed his superior. "He will be taking care of High King Peter as this is done"

"How is he?" Oreious asked

"Wounded, but with this well deserved rest he will be more than fit to make this journey"

"I was not talking about the High King, since I am well aware of his condition, as I am sure you know" Oreious eyed his kindred hardly.

Usaries remain silent. He knew Oreious was the first centaur who bowed to Edmund with loyalty born out of love, and since then he was quite protective of the king that temped fate.

"When Usaries? When are you going to let go all that rage and resentment towards him?"

Again, silence.

"He has grown to be a good ruler"

"And that is why I followed him. Aslan put him in the throne and that is why bow to him" Usaries said at last "But to love him, that is a different matter still to be seen"

***

As Edmund came close to the northern side, where the horses, bears and other Narnian animals big enough to feel uncomfortable in the inner camp waited, a horse made his way to meet him.

"King Edmund!" Philippe called.

"Good morning Philippe"

"By the lions mane!"

"Umm..."

"I was right!"

"You were right about?"

"I knew!"

Edmund looked at his friend slightly confused.

"Philippe, Im just not following this conversation"

"Edmund!" Philippe said when they were close enough to have some privacy. "You need to rest."

"No I dont. I am alright. Whats got into you?" Edmund said quickly.

"You are pale, you are weary and I can swear that you are more wounded that you are letting anyone see"

"I swear my brother just took possession of your body Philippe, and that is really disturbing"

"Edmund, please. I heard some bears talking about how you looked too pale. And knowing King Peter is wounded, I just knew that you would weary yourself out with his and your duties."

"I am fine" when the horse was going to say something else, Edmund took his large face in his hands and caress his forehead with his own Philippe, "I am fine" said the king emphasizing each word.

The horse nuzzled his arm, but fate wanted to be the left one and Edmund jumped with a soft sound of pain and grew paler.

"Edmund!"

"It is alright, my left side is little sore, but is nothing"

"Side! Your whole left side!"

"I undertook a rock monster that was coming too close to Peter for my comfort. Then, the same thing, I think it was the same one, I really am not sure, tried to take a group of fauns and cheetahs, so I tackled it again. You could think that the creature, made of rock, was tough, but it wasn't. It was tougher"

"This is no joke" Philippe said dryly, not amused at Edmunds attempt to light the situation.

"My king" Oreious said softly and both friends jumped with surprise.

Oreious Philippe greated the centaur, happy to see him. Now he will have the second best ally (Peter, Susan and Lucy absent at the moment) against Edmund's lack of self preservation.

"Good morning Oreious, even if it is almost Midday" Edmund said amused.

"Is everything alright?" asked the centaur

"Yes"

"No"

Oreious stared at the two friends who had spoken in unison.

"Right, Philippe is right. Not everything is fine, but soon it will be. We are not delayed, are we?"

"No my liege, we are on time"

"Good then. I wanted to ask for you help. I am going to see to Peter, but I need you. Philippe and I will be riding alternating front and rear with you as accorded, but I want Peter riding in the middle, at least most part of the journey."

Oreious nodded. "Well though Your Majesty, that way he is safe if something happens"

"And I will get to keep checking on him" Edmund smiled impishly. "He will not know when I will be passing, so he will have to stay put all the way home. But to do that, I will need you to help me make him lie down in the litter that is being prepared"

"As you wish, my king" Oreious said smiling slightly.

"Well, I shall be going then. See you soon Philippe"

"Edmund" Philippe called.

"Yes?" He asked innocently, though he could not fool neither the horse nor the centaur. Both Narnians exchange a glance, and Oreious rested a comforting hand in Philippes flanks.

"Nothing Your Majesty. Lets get going, if you would allow me, I will accompany you for a little while."

"Oh! Your company will be nice, Oreious, as always."

Edmund started walking away and Oreious whispered softly so only Philippe could heard him.

"I will talk to him, do not worry"

The horse nodded, sadly.

***

"King Edmund?"

"Yes Oreious?"

"You fought well"

Edmund stopped deadly in his tracks. The sudden movement (or lack of) made him dizzy.

"You already are a mighty warrior, my king, and I am proud of you" Oreious said, masking his worry after seen the sudden unfocused eyes of his younger king. "And it pains me that you push yourself too hard. You must understand that driving yourself carelessly to exhaustion will not bring anything good, neither for you, nor for you siblings, nor for your subjects"

"I am aware that I will be useless if I cannot do what I need to, as well as I am aware that I will just become a heavy burden if I had the need to be taken care of"

"My liege..." Oreious tried to speak, but Edmund held his hand up, commanding silence in such a kingly manner, that Oreious obeyed.

"I am aware what my position with the Narnians is. I am not Peter to be able to risk great injury and be render powerless in the aftermath. Peter is loved, I am not and I understand and accept it. It is really more than I deserve.

But I was crowned king along with my siblings, and that is because Aslan saw something in me. Something worth enough to forgive all the pain that I have caused, that I still cause because of my past.

So you see, I need to do what I can, what is expected of me as the King of the Western Woods so I can be what Aslan believed I could be. And so I can be worthy to the Narnians, so they have what they deserve."

Silence followed Edmunds words; as he was out of breath suddenly and started breathing quickly.

"And I must sit down" he said as he practically fell to the ground.

"My king" Oreious said kneeling in front of his liege. The Narnians that were closed eyed them with concerned, but no one interrupted them, and continued with their respective business, either because they care and knew their stubborn self-sacrificing king was in good hands with the centaur, or because they were some of the few Narnians that still resent him and thought that his condition was nothing of their concern as long as it was not life threatening.

"My king Oreious" repeated again, trying to catch Edmunds eyes.

"I am fine, just out of breath" said Edmund breathing heavily "Its just one of the troubles of being a quiet person. I am not used to such a length of speech" he said jokingly.

"I do not see this problem when you are in diplomatic duty, my liege" Oreious said dryly, obviously still concerned. Plus in truth, he had never being one with a sense of humour. "As a matter of fact, I believe you are a skill diplomat with a tongue as sweet as honey and an eloquence fitting a chipmunk"

Edmund laughed softly at this, not daring to push his lunges much further. Well then, Oreious had a sense of humour, after all.

"It must have been the profundity of the emotional issue then. Now you understand why I avoid emotional issues" Edmund added.

"Where are you hurt?" Oreious asked softly. At Edmunds silence the centaur sighed. "King Edmund you are my king, my liege and I ask you to trust me. I understand what you told me, and I accept it. All of it. So now, tell me, where you are hurt"

"My left side is sore, but nothing more. I might have two bruised ribs, but they are not cracked and my arm is also bruised. And minor wounds that stopped bleeding on their own and which, yes, I have cleaned. So I am battered and I hurt, but nothing serious that I cant cope with"

"And you are tired "It was not a question. Edmund shuddered.

"As well as all the warriors, Oreious" said the king.

"You have been taking both your brothers and your duties to yourself. The soldiers fought hard, yes, but then they rested and feasted, the High King wounded as he is, rested as well knowing you will see to things because you never let him know you were weary and injured yourself, meanwhile you kept working without slowing."

"It is the right of the soldiers, to feast and rest after winning a battle. It is the right of the High King to rest unconcerned knowing that his younger brother will take care of everything. I am king and as such it is my right to see that everything is well. It is my privilege and pleasure to do so"

In that moment Oreious felt a surge of pride and love for his young king. He remembered the broken boy he had rescued from Jadis camp few years ago and how he had grown up and become a great king.

Edmund was already what Aslan had believed back then, and Oreious knew it was just a matter of time since the Narnians who still resent him will see the young king as he truly was.

Standing up, Oreious bowed deeply to the young king, who still sat on the ground, weary and wounded.

"I understand, King Edmund and because of this I know that you will only take care of yourself once we are all safely back at Cair Paravel, so I will not wish to delay our departure more than is necessary. Lets see to the High King, my liege.."

"Thank you" Edmund said, and both knew he was not only referring to the speed of the journey,

***

"Im perfectly all right, I can ride with no problem" Peter declared in his most convincing voice, which lost most of the effect, as his face was paler than the snow and he was clutching his abdomen rather awkwardly.

"Pete, come on, be sensible" Edmund said for the umpteenth time.

"How come you are saying that! You are the one who is being irrational!"

Edmund sighed in annoyance and press the bridge of his nose, a trait that his subjects had related to when the youngest king was concerned about something, but the object of his concern was too stubborn to see his point. So he just brushed his brothers abdomen. If possible, Peter went paler.

"Ed! What was that for? You are making us to delay!"

"The nerve to say that! Peter if anyone is causing us to delay that is you, my king. So stop being the magnificent stubborn and climb that litter" Edmund said, and added in a whisper as he came closer to his brother "Or else I will set the beavers on you for hurting their feelings because you decided not to use said litter, which they build just for their High King"

"You wouldn't"

Edmund just smirked. And Peter receded.

"Blackmail, pure and simple. One would think that one who is both king and knight was above that behaviour, o mighty Knight of the Table"

Edmund just snorted as he helped his brother to lay down into the litter. Oreious watched silently, glad that, at least this time, he did not had to interfere.

"I promise Pete, as soon as we are at the Cairs range, I will help you mount so you will not cross the gates laid down"

Peter smiled knowingly at his brother and took his hand in his own and squeezed it. Fortunately it was the right one, but he frowned nonetheless when he saw the bloody spots in his tunic.

"And how are you?"

Edmund knew what Peter had seen in his clothes and shuddered, careful not to abuse his left side.

"I am fine. One or two cuts and bruises here and there, but nothing more"

"Edmund, please tell me the truth. You look pale"

The younger king smiled softly, mischievously "I have always been pale" and with that he stepped aside the litter and nodded to the four centaurs that were going to carry the royal litter.

***

Edmund and Oreious took the front and the rear in turns and Peter, who started trying to get up and ride at the second day, was startled so many times for his brother's and his general's sudden approaches that he gave up for his heart sake. Or so he claimed. In truth, he was getting worried about his younger brother who at this point couldn't hide his exhaustion and wounds.

None of the subjects said anything, but with the utmost care for the wounded, they quickened their pace. Deep inside them, they knew that the Just King will collapse if they slowed down and took too much time.

Nevertheless, they werent worried. Somehow the Kings of Narnia were always fine. They might be wounded like the High King, or exhausted like the Just King, but they were still strong and willing to be their support.

After all, they were blessed by Aslan.

To be continue (Soon, I promise)

Reviews are very, very welcome With them you are helping the Narnian Foundation for Crazy and Obsessive Bards Be good and help us with this mental cases ;)

So... I hope it's better now...