Disclaimer- Shinka-chan does not owns Naruto

Shinka- But I do own the story

Note- YAY crappy one shot!

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Day 1, 12:00

-"Here is that lazy ass?"- Ino was frenetically slamming her finger against the coffee table. She, Asuma and Chouji were in Shikamaru´s living room, waiting for him.

-"He said he was going to get a scarf in the closet"- said Chouji

-"That was 30 MINUTES AGO!"- Ino angrily waved her arms, and got back to the finger slamming. Chouji was munching his chips and Asuma smoking his fateful and cancerous cigarette.

-"That´s it!"- Ino got up and walked to the hall. There was silence, and then, a scream. Chouji and Asuma slowly walked the fastest they could to the fount of the scream. When they got to the closet, Ino was punching a sleepy Shikamaru. Chouji and Asuma hold her up. Shikamaru was still sleeping inside the closet.

-"LEMME GO! THAT BASTARD GOT TO WAKE UP!"- Ino glommed Shikamaru, taking Asuma and Chouji for inside the closet with her. Asuma´s vest got stuck in the doorknob, making the wood door shut behind them. Asuma pushed the door, but the door was locked.

-"Kids…I think were stuck"- said Asuma. He sat down with Chouji and Shikamaru. He was smoking, Chouji was eating chips and Shikamaru was sleeping.

-"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"- Ino slammed her whole body against the door, but with no solution.

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Day 1, 12:30

Ino finally gave up and sat in the floor with the rest of hers team mates.

-"*cough* Asuma-sensei, can you please put down the cigarette *cough*"

-"Why is that?"

-"Nevermind *cough*

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Day 1, 13:30

Ino began wondering if Shikamaru was dead. Chouji was at the middle of the bag, and Asuma had still 3 cigarettes left.

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Day 1, 14:10

Ino was combing her hair with her hands, when she heard to female screams.

-"MY CIGARETTES ARE GONNE!"

-"SO AS MY CHIPS!"

Chouji and Asuma began crying. They didn't realise they needed those things to survive. Well except for the cigarettes. Asuma should be grateful for that.

-"How can we survive without food?"

-"And cigarettes?"

-"You know, guys, a human being can be without food for 40 days and can be without cigarettes…well, an entire life."

Chouji and Asuma freeze. ~

-"40 days!?"

-"A life!?"

-"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"- Asuma and Chouji began crying.

-"Guys, guys…do you remember if Shikamaru´s parents where here?"
-"Yeah, Shikaku-kun was the one who opened us the door"- said Asuma

-"So, if we scream they maybe hear us!"

-"Great idea, Ino-chan!"

-"HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"

But with no excuse

~1 hour before~

-"Shikaku-kun, can I "borrow" your wallet for a while?"- said Shikamaru´s mom

-"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"- Shikaku was sleeping in the sofa. She took the wallet out of Shikaku's pocket.

-"Thank you, honey…"

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Day 1, 15:00

-"Asuma-sensei?"
-"Yes, Chouji?"

-"Where gonna die, aren't we?"
-"YES, CHOUJI!"

-"NOES!"

Ino slapped Asuma and Chouji

-"Calm yourself down, bitches. We aren't gonna die!"

-"Shikamaru's the lucky one. He's probably dead already"- said Chouji, with a tear in his eye

-"That's it! Lets sleep, with luck someone will find our dead corpses" – said Asuma.

-"Good death, guys!"

-"Good death, Ino!

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Day 1, 15:05

-"Asuma-sensei?"

-"Yes, Chouji?"

-"Are we dead yet?"
-"*sigh* No, Chouji"

-"Oh…"

-"…"

-"How about now?"

-"I hope so"

-"Guys, if you keep talking you aren't gonna die"- said Ino. Then everyone got back to their "death"

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Day 1, 15:10

-"That's it, I quit!" – said Ino, sitting down –"I cant live and I cant die!"

-"Maybe your mind is heavy. We should confess our sins first"- said Chouji.

For some seconds who looked like minutes, there was silence.

-"Ino…I-I…I always had a crush on you…"- said Chouji, blushing.

For 3 more seconds, there was silence again

-"I…also have a crush on you, Chouji…"- said Ino

-"What?"
-"Well, when I realised that Sasuke wasn't the right one for me, and that blond nin always give me death glares when I'm around Shikamaru (I'm sorry, couldn't help it ^^") I realised you where the most mature and responsible male I know."

-"Ino…"- said Chouji, blushing even more. Ino sat down close to Chouji, and slowly pushed her lips against his.

-"I'M A VIRGIN!"

-"What?"- said Chouji and Ino, looking at their crying sensei.

-"I'm a virgin! I never touched a woman, not even Anko!"- Asuma cried. They turned around to hear a yaw coming from the corner. Shikamaru got up and opened the door easily.

-"WHAT?!"- said the trio behind him-"H-How could you open the door? It was locked?"

-"What, no, it just pull"- said Shikamaru, closing the door and opening it again. Ino and Chouji gave a mortal glare at their sensei.

-PULL? I´VE BEEN IN THIS HELL FOR DAYS, WHEN EVERYTHING WE GOT TO DO WAS PULL?"- Ino punched her sensei.

-"Days? It passed 3 hours"- said Shikamaru, looking at his clock. Ino made a funny face and walked away from the closet cussing mumbling death treats

-"Wait, my love- Oh chips!"- Chouji walked out of the closet, walking to the kitchen

-"Stay there, Asuma-sensei?"- asked Shikamaru

-"Yes, please"- said Asuma, collecting his teeth from the floor. Shikamaru noodle and closed the door.

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2 weeks after

-"Daaaaaad, Asuma-sensei wont get out of the closet"

-"The world his dangerous. People taaaaaalk"- whispered a voice from inside the closet.

Yay! Crappiness!

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