Author's note: all usual disclaimers apply.


Barbara Havers was having one of those days; the sort of day that made her want to crawl back under the bedcovers and hide. Firstly her boiler had died during the night and her shower had been tepid and consequently very short. Her investigations and call to the plumber had made her late and as a final insult her toaster had refused to colour the bread she was having as a hasty breakfast beyond a dismal pale yellow.

So when the doorbell rang twenty minutes before her boss was due to pick her up Barbara was angry. "You're early and I'm not ready."

Detective Inspector Tommy Lynley smiled. "Good morning Sergeant. Get out of bed the wrong side this morning did you?"

"My boiler died and can't be fixed until Thursday, my toaster won't work, and I'm hungry," she said grumpily.

He held up a cup of steaming coffee and grinned at the way her eyes instantly softened. "Will this help?"

Barbara snatched the cup. "You're a life saver. Thank you Sir. Sorry but...well it hasn't been my best morning."

"We can stop on the way to Cambridge for something to eat. We are early and the seminar will be boring I think."

"We should be giving it. I mean 'Effective Policing Partnerships', can they really teach that? I think you have to work it out for yourselves."

"For once Havers I totally agree. By the way your mail had fallen on your doorstep." He handed her three envelopes.

She shoved them in her bag and pulled the door shut. "Get me some food," she said pushing past him and heading for his car.

They chatted generally as he drove north. They were early enough to avoid the heaviest traffic and as promised he stopped at a lay by centre for food. Barbara tucked into a large bacon and egg roll while Tommy had another coffee. He was amazed at how much food she could consume in a day and still be hungry. He could not help but think if she ate a more balanced diet she would be healthier and happier.

As they stood to leave an envelope fell from her bag. He stooped and picked it up. "This one seems to want your attention."

"It's not overdue. All my bills are paid," she snapped and stormed towards the car.

Tommy caught up and frowned at her. "No one said they weren't."

"Sorry, I'm just not in the mood for today." She looked at the envelope and groaned. "It's from my aunt."

Tommy pulled out onto the A1. He had decided to say nothing more about her mail but after twenty minutes he had gritted his teeth long enough. "There's no point flicking it over and over in your hand. You need to open it to see what it says or put it in your bag until later."

"I don't want to open it, ever. It won't be good. I don't really talk to them. She and Mum were not even close and they were sisters."

"You won't know what it is until you open it. Then you can decide rather than speculate."

"You don't know my family."

"No, I don't but it sounds as if you don't either."

Barbara swore under her breath. "Fine! I'll open the damned thing." She tore open the envelope and read it then humphed loudly.

"Well?"

"I didn't realise censoring my mail was part of your job description."

Tommy winced. "Sorry I wasn't trying to pry...just be supportive."

Barbara relented knowing he meant well. "Mister and Missus Benjamin Sherlock request the company of Barbara Havers and Partner to celebrate the marriage of their youngest daughter Martha Louise to Lachlan Richard, eldest son of Mister and Missus Samuel Holmes in the gardens of Berrina House, Colchester on Saturday 6 November at 3 pm followed by a reception in the Grand Ballroom at 6 pm. RSVP etc etc. See I told you it was trouble."

Tommy started to laugh. "I hope that she doesn't intend to hyphenate her name."

"Huh?"

"She'd be Missus Sherlock-Holmes!" They looked at each other and started laughing. "See, that's better. I like it when you laugh."

"It's your fault. You're the only person I know who can make me laugh when I don't even feel like smiling."

They stared at each other until he needed to focus on the road. "You do that for me too Barbara," he finally said breaking the awkward silence. "It'll be good for you to see your family again."

"What? I'm not going. Not in a million years."

"Why not?"

"Because they only asked me to be polite and they will take great delight in mocking me. Poor Barbara, still alone, still bitter and twisted, still blaming her poor mother for her life etc. I can hear it now. I know you're being thoughtful but no, there's no way I'm going."

"It said 'and partner'; you don't have to go alone."

"Yeah of course, why didn't I think of that? I'll just choose from the hundreds of men I have waiting at my door each night will I?"

"I'll go with you. If you'd like me to."

Barbara looked at her boss barely trusting her ears. He was smiling kindly at her. It was just like him to offer but how could she explain that that would be harder than going alone. "Thanks Sir, I appreciate the thought but it wouldn't work. Not with you."

"Why? I think I'm quite a presentable plus one."

Barbara laughed softly and looked out of the window, not daring to look at him. "Too presentable. Everyone would know I'd never pull anyone like you. They'd think I'd hired you."

"Hired me?" Tommy was not sure if he should be amused or aghast.

"Yeah, you know, handsome, aristocratic man who knows all the right things to say and do. They'd think you're a male escort."

"If Mother could hear you suggest that she raised her son to be a male escort." His tone was amused but Barbara wondered if he had been offended.

"People like me don't have partners from Eton who wear the right suit and have perfect manners. They'd suspect something." Tommy did not reply so Barbara tried to qualify it. "What I mean is that they'd know instantly that you're too good for the likes of me."

There was so much Tommy wanted to say but now was not the time. "Barbara listen to yourself. You're being ridiculous. You're a better person than me and I'm the one honoured to be your friend. We can go together as friends. I can dress down a bit and blend in. I can be just Tommy Lynley you know, I don't have to be your DI or Lord Asherton."

"What if someone recognises you?"

"I'm not exactly A-list Barbara. No one will know. I can be simply your friend Tommy."

Barbara smiled at him so softly that his heart literally fluttered. She had that affect on him a lot lately. "Thanks Sir, I appreciate the offer, really I do but I'm still not going."

"Aren't you curious? About the family? About why they invited you?"

"Not in the least."

He tried another angle. "Wouldn't you enjoy the look on their faces if you did go then?"

"You mean to stick it up them?" Barbara was amused at his tactics to try and persuade her. She had no intention of going but decided to make him feel as uncomfortable as he was making her. His expression was too caring for her to be able to look at without wanting to give in to anything he wanted.

"Well, yes, I suppose it could be phrased like that," Tommy replied.

"They think I'm a miserable, bitter woman so the only way that would work would be for them to believe we were..." Her voice trailed off. "They'd never believe I would find someone who can put up with me let alone like me enough to spend time with me."

"Well they'd be wrong. I've managed to endure you for ten years and surprisingly I really enjoy spending time with you. At least promise me you'll think about it. It might help you come to terms with a few things."

"Oh no, you sound like today's course. 'It will give you closure'. Isn't that the sort of thing they say? Well it is closed so there's no issue."

Tommy wisely understood when to back down. He would give her a few days to think about it. "You really don't think much of today's seminar do you?"

"No! It's load of horse...doo doo."

Conversation focussed around the seminar to be held at the Anglia Ruskin University. Tommy and Barbara were part of a test group trialling the course for The Met and other forces. "They expect our critique to be fair," Tommy reminded her.

"Yeah? Well keeping an open mind isn't one of my strengths."

The course was as psychobabbly as Barbara had feared. The morning was spent with the theory of relationships. According to the two facilitators she and Tommy were doomed to failure because of their differences. They should be looking for 'complimentary commonalities' and building those as a foundation of 'mutual certitude'.

As they retired to the breakout rooms she raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes. Tommy smiled knowingly. Their first exercise was to fill out a form about how they thought their partner viewed them in comparison to their feelings. "This should be interesting," Tommy whispered.

Barbara read the form and groaned. There were two columns. The first, headed 'My Response' was far narrower then the second which was labelled 'What I think my partner will say'. She glanced down the page there were twenty questions. She looked over and saw Tommy's expression. He was enjoying this far too much. She sighed and started the form.

Half an hour later they were broken into their pairs to compare answers. "Focus on the what the other person thinks you would say. It will be very revealing."

Tommy started first. "Personal strength you admire in your partner. What did you put?"

"No, tell me what you think I put."

He sighed. "Intellect."

"I do admire that but I put empathy. I like the way you understand victims and genuinely feel for them and for others."

"Really? Thanks. What do you think I said about you?"

"Level headedness?"

"No, and I'd dispute that at times. I said unwavering support. Since we've been together you've never once let me down. You've defended the indefensible for me. I do notice and appreciate it Barbara."

She felt her face blush. His eyes were so soft and caring. "Okay. For area of development I said my 'them and us' views of the world."

"Hmm, years ago I probably would have said that. I put low self worth. You never see just how brilliant you are as a detective or what a wonderful person you are."

"I don't have low self esteem! I argue with you all the time. I don't just give in to you."

"That's self confidence. It's not what I mean. You don't value yourself nearly as much as I value you, as a person not just a colleague."

Barbara could not look at him. He had that same look he had that night a few years ago at her flat. This was becoming uncomfortable. She was worried that she would accidentally blurt out how much he meant to her. "I'll work on it," she said cautiously.

Tommy waited but knew she would not explore that further. "I said arrogance for me. You still haven't really forgiven me for painting your flat."

"I have but no, I put forgiving yourself. You can't always save the world Sir and it isn't your fault that bad things have happened. You need to start putting that in the past or you'll never be free for the future." Barbara saw Tommy struggle to keep his emotions from boiling over. She had gone too far. "Sorry Sir, but I've wanted to say that for years."

"I know. And you're right. It's just...not always easy." Barbara reached over and squeezed his forearm. "I probably wouldn't have made it Barbara if I didn't have you to be my better self."

"Sorry?"

Tommy put his hand over hers. "You always make me stronger and able to think beyond my own miseries. I am a better person with you Barbara."

She pulled away, certain that this conversation was leading them onto dangerous ground. "What do you think I said was the best feature of our relationship?"

"Trust."

"Yeah, I did. I said the same," she said relieved that the awkward moment had passed.

"Yes, I debated openness and honesty but that fits the next question about reason for success more."

"Snap! I did say honesty. I thought you would think that too."

They continued through the list of questions with very few surprises until the last question. "I think this question is wrong Sir, it should never be asked. How do you rate this partnership in comparison to others?"

"The best ever of course," he replied with a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, well I put it was my only real partnership. You know my track record before you."

"What did you say I would think?" he asked seriously.

"Solid."

Tommy took her hand. "Solid? Isn't that rather an understatement? It's my only successful partnership too, and I don't just mean professionally."

"Sir?"

"Barbara l know this is the weirdest time to say this but I have been..."

The door swung open and he dropped her hand and sat up guiltily. The plump facilitator with the annoying squeaky voice and appalling dress sense popped her head around the door. Tommy was grateful that her shirt full of brightly coloured birds did not follow. "Almost ready?" she asked brightly, "everyone back in the main room in five."

"Sorry you were saying?"

"It can wait." The moment had passed for Tommy and now he thought it would sound stupid to say that she was the most important person in his life and that he was falling in love with her.

The rest of the day was spent completing trust and communication exercises. Tommy and Barbara both found the physical contact embarrassing and awkward but neither twigged that it was because they both desperately wanted to touch each other non-professionally.

When they were finally freed at half past four they both sank into the front seats of his car and sighed with relief. "What a harrowing day!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, give me a good murder any day. Did you see those two from Manchester? I thought they were going to kill each other."

Tommy nodded then started the engine. "I'd suggest a pint but if we don't head back first we might have too many and need to stay."

"Yeah, imagine the look on Hillier's face if we went to a relationship seminar then had to get a room for the night...Rooms. Rooms for the night, one each. Not that he'd ever believe we'd...even with the seminar." Barbara wished the earth would open and swallow her.

He heard his heart thumping against his ribs. "Is it really beyond the bounds of credibility?" They stared at each other for several long seconds. If he were braver Tommy would drive to the nearest hotel and book one room for a week. If only he thought she would one day believe he loved her. He sighed. "Come on, let's get home. We can grab that pint there."