Hello there.
This is eventually going to be a Castiel/Dean fic. However it does go through the season with the relationship between them slowly building so I can put a note in the future chapter when Dean and Castiel will start to enter into some form of a relationship. Up until then I think it will be safe for those who dislike slash I.e it will be open to interpretation! I will put in the authors note when the times come "Preslash" and then "Slash" so that those who dislike it have a fair warning.
A lot of this is taken from the episodes at the beginning and this is from Castiel's point of view. I have written for Supernatural before under another name but it was many years ago and so at first using episode dialogue seemed a good way to ease me back in. But there are added bits and the story will take off from it.
Please enjoy and feel free to either review or alert. I understand some people are shy or busy so even a "Good" is appreciated. Likewise if you wish to be constructive in criticism go for it because as I say its been a while since I was in this category and I expect that I will make a few errors.
Oh and I own nothing but a toothbrush and one sock! Certainly none of the characters (to my own dismay and my boyfriends eternal relief!)
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It was bemusing to say the least. The two human males shot what they could at him. He could see the determination of their faces in between the lights sparking above them. He continued to walk noting with some curiosity the numerous symbols on the wall that were meant as protection. Clearly these two "hunters" were unaware of who and what they were dealing with.
He didn't allow himself to dwell on the symbols longer than split seconds at least. The vessel that he was in was getting shot at and while he could heal it all, it felt somewhat wrong to allow the body to be harmed in such ways.
Yet it would seem that allowing these two to do their worst and have full run of their emotional reactions was the easiest way to make him listen. He saw the pair glance at each other and take deep breaths in such a synchronised way that the pair could be father and son.
He knew that they weren't. John Winchester was long gone from this fight and Bobby Singer would be a useful resource so he had been told. An elder man to calm the two younger Winchester's and keep them in line when he and his brothers had to turn their attention elsewhere.
Still it was little glimmers of that sort of chosen bond between humans that did make them truly a work of beauty.
It was Dean Winchester who leant over for the knife. He could tell it was different in some way but certainly not a threat. The bewildered and determined look on Dean's face was a good sign that hell hadn't come back with him. There had been concerns but the youth seemed to be in good mental as well as physical shape.
He allowed Dean to draw him away from Bobby Singer, happy to focus his attention upon him.
"Who are you?" Dean asked in that slightly gruff voice without a hint of fear simply determined curiosity. Ah there was that word again. Determined.
The boy would have to be.
"I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you form perdition." Castiel replied calmly.
It annoyed him when Dean all but sneered at that. "Yeah?" he asked voice dropping to almost a sinister whisper. "Thanks for that"
The ungrateful child sounded as though that was the last thing that he was. Castiel inwardly knew what was going to happen. Had known it was coming from the second that Dean had gone for the knife. He almost smiled in satisfaction that he had been correct about his charge and all but nodded as Dean rammed the knife into the vessel's chest.
It wasn't a nice smile though. The thing that he had already discovered about being inside a human vessel was that there were many ways of expressing things. This smile was one of annoyance, almost a sneer to match the humans. He felt the vessel sway ever so slightly from the force of the blade as he stared at Dean Winchester. For a brief second he remembered that Dean had once watched with delight as he inflicted pain back in that deep, dark, desperate place. But Dean showed no sign of either pleasure nor hesitancy above ground. He seemed instead to be focussed on his task. But he kept his eyes on Dean as he pulled the blade out watching as shock and terror bled across the boy's body but not anger or malice.
After all the boy was righteous was he not, maybe it shouldn't surprise him so much. But all he'd seen so far of his charge was a demon in the making and then a thief.
His hand shot out without thinking and caught the crowbar from the old man. It was plainly clear that Dean had no idea what was going on and they needed to talk. It would be easier if his whole attention was on Dean. He dragged his gaze away from the face in front of him and turned circling the old man so that he was between Bobby and Dean. Carefully he placed his fingers on Bobby's forehead and trying to ensure that the angle gave Dean a clear view that his old mentor was not being harmed. He held on to the crowbar ensuring that Bobby sank to his knees gently rather than completely collapsing.
Catsile tilted his head as the old man lay on the floor, the crowbar dropping beside him feeling rather pleased at how well that had gone. He watched the man for a second or two assessing his condition. Humans were so difficult to control and manage at times.
He turned back to Dean, noting the open mouthed shock.
"We need to talk Dean" he said earnestly, uninterested in continuing this rather one sided battle. Dean's eyes flickered down to where Bobby lay. "Alone" he added calmly in explanation.
Dean continued to glance between Castiel and Bobby in a way that was clearly going to impede the conversation. With a deep breath Castiel stepped aside.
"Feel free to check on him Dean, he is unharmed."
His charge was clearly not one who trusted easily. The suspicious looks continued as slowly the boy knelt by Bobby's side and checked the body over for any signs of life and harm. Castiel turned from him and opened up one of the numerous texts on the table. Ever since he had followed Dean Winchester the idea of hunters had intrigued him somewhat. So many years of staying out of human affairs had started to disconnect him from humans. However the similarities between hunters and Angels didn't escape his notice. Of all the humans on this earth they were the ones that he could understand the most. These warriors who gave up normal lives to protect others, quietly working without glory or acknowledgement for the most part. Yet the hunters so far all seemed to be somewhat...lacking in morals. Many drank, many gambled. Many fornicated with numerous partners. Life it seemed had been harsh to these people.
Life had certainly been harsh to Dean. He felt himself soften slightly as he thought of the task ahead of the young man. He could already feel the accusing glare and prepared himself for what needed to be said.
"You're friend's alive" he said answering the unspoken question. It amazed him how this vessel picked up on the slight nervous emotions that he felt, causing his voice to quiver slightly.
"Who are you?" Dean asked again, from his position couched on the floor. He had that aura about him like he was waiting for Castiel to attack him.
It was...disheartening.
"Castiel" he replied still looking at the text.
"Yeah I figured that much, I mean what are you."
What are you. It was wrong that these humans should know so much evil and nothing of good. He looked up at Dean and knew that he would not believe him. Not at first anyway. This one would fight the truth he sensed, for his own human reasons.
But this was his charge and Dean had to be told.
"I'm an Angel of the Lord"
He watched as Dean's face almost curved into a smile at that. Castiel continued to stare at him waiting. He continued to fix him with that deep gaze as dean rose slowly of the floor with a truly annoyed look upon his face.
"Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing."
It was no surprise to hear the words but the body language was interesting. His words were clear in their meaning but as soon as he denied the existence of Angels he looked as if he was waiting to be struck down. Such contradictions in one man was fascinating.
"That is your problem Dean, you have no faith"
And knowing this, knowing that this man would only believe what he would touch and see and feel Castiel took a deep breath in. Slowly he unfurled his wings being careful only to reveal the shadow and not the actual wings themselves. It would not do to have a blinded charge.
Dean looked taken aback. For a boy that had been introduced to hunting at an early age he had never had to face up to any sudden paradigm shifts. It was almost thrilling to watch him react to news like this. Especially because it didn't last long. Dean nodded and seemed to feel some strange need to ruin the moment.
"Some angel you are. You burned out that poor woman's eyes."
There was something rather depressing in both the statement itself and the sentiment with which it was delivered.
"I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be...overwhelming to humans. So can my true voice but you already knew that"
Castiel watched as Dean seemed to be a lot more comfortable having logistics of an idea worked out. The why and the how rather than the what. He stepped closer noticing that Dean didn't step away.
Truly intriguing.
"At the gas station? That was you talking?"
Castiel nodded gently.
"Buddy next time lower the volume." Dean quipped some of the tension leaving him as he relaxed back into his smart mouthed ways.
Castiel pressed his lips together at this acknowledging that his attempts at communicating hadn't been the wisest course of action, but also trying to hide the remembered disappointment.
"It was my mistake" he said gently, "Certain people, special people can perceive my true visage, I thought you would be one of them. I was wrong."
Castiel noted that Dean's face went curiously blank of emotion for a split moment. It was gone before he could really decide what his charge was thinking.
It was frustrating to have to meet him now with so little knowledge. He had aimed to have more time, to look into this man's past. He needed to know Dean Winchester better than most people did. Needed to know how to explain what must be done and what missions he should be sent on of any.
He needed to know this man and his reactions. Without in depth knowledge it was like trying to catch snowflakes.
"And what visage are you in now huh? What, holy tax accountant?" Dean asked his voice heavy with accusation. So he wouldn't ask about true visages or special people. Interesting. Castiel glanced down at the body he occupied. In truth he hadn't given it too much thought.
"This...This is...a vessel" he said pulling at the suit a little and noting the difference between what dean wore and what the vessel wore.
"You're possessing some poor bastard?"
Ah. That made more sense. Clearly the hunter within Dean was very prominent. It would make it difficult though if Dean continued to compare him and his brothers to demons.
"He's a devout man, he actually prayed for this"
"Look pal i'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?"
Castiel actually felt pain at that. He had thought briefly that he was getting through to his charge. That by allowing him to steer the conversation Dean was slowly accepting it.
He had needed more time. Humans and their impatience.
And their lack of faith. It truly was sad.
"I told you." he said trying to be as clear and as calm as possible.
Dean nodded, "Right. And why would an Angel rescue me from hell?"
There. There was something... Castile risked stepping forward staring into Dean's eyes. There was fear there.
"Good things do happen Dean" he said quietly but firmly. Perhaps his original assessment had been wrong, maybe the boy was suffering. He certainly seemed to be struggling with something. Castiel could almost see what it was but the exact reason for this desperation not to believe was eluding him.
"Not in my experience" the words seemed to burst of of Dean reluctantly as if pulled with a pliers.
"What's the matter?" Castiel asked feeling bewildered, narrowing his eyes to look at Dean. There was something very wrong with this man's reaction. He felt it, so unusual from anyone else in the world.
Then he saw it. The confusion. Why would an angel rescue me from hell.
"You don't think you deserve to be saved?" Castile almost whispered it feeling some horror within him. He watched as Dean steeled his face in what would have been an attempt to deny the statement, Instead he simply seemed...
Young. Confused.
Lost.
"Why'd you do it?" Dean said some of the steel in his voice gone. His body bracing as if for a blow of information.
There were so many answers to that. But so many questions for this charge.
There was only right answer to give, to stop this lost look and to perhaps allay these feeling of insecurity. He pulled himself back from his soul searching gaze and refocused on Dean again.
"Because God commanded it" he said.
Dean didn't react, merely a muscle clenched in his jaw.
But he wasn't arguing or fighting. Emboldened by this Casteil continued.
"Because we have work for you"
Dean looked suspicious and baffled at that but showed even less of a resistance. For long moments they simply stood there almost as if it was a battle of wills.
"You should tend to your friend Dean"
Dean whirled clearly having forgotten about Bobby. And Castiel made his escape.
AYTG?-AYTG?-AYTG?
Since the breaking of the first seal there had been few days where one could take the time to familiarise themselves with their charge. It was difficult. How was it that someone with such a powerful destiny had avoided having an angel until now? It was rare enough for an Angel to be given a charge, in truth it hadn't happened in centuries. But as far as Castiel knew all of those humans had been watched over by an Angel since birth.
The situation was unique. As it was now Dean Winchester was the most important human on earth, his role in the apocalypse was tremendous.
Dean was now at Bobby Singers with his brother. He had briefly glanced in to see to his consternation that despite being the only person in the room to have talked to an Angel, Dean still was the one who believed it the least.
And Bobby Singer truly had patience to rival Castiel's own. Turning away from the ensuing argument between brothers he had focussed on the house itself...
"Bobby!"
A sweet looking young boy ran into the house with a huge grin plastered over his head.
"Hello there Sammy" Bobby had said turning from the window. He seemed a little taken aback by Sam's enthusiasm Castiel noted. "You're Daddy's still got that thing?" he pointed out the window to the Impala that Castiel had seen Dean drive.
Sam nodded, "Yeah, think Dean would kill him if he got rid of it"
Bobby chuckled at that. "What you running in here so quick for anyhow? You know I don't have kids things"
Sam beamed up, "But you've got loads of books. And Dad said that we're staying nearby so I can go back to the high-school and I wont be the new kid!"
It seemed a small thing to be happy about yet the child's smile seemed to go from ear to ear. In the doorway a large bulk of a man stood smelling of engine grease and some alcoholic drink that these hunters seemed to like to partake in.
"John" Bobby leant over Sam to shake his hand. Castiel noted that he suddenly seemed a lot more guarded then he had been with Sam.
There was some friction between the two men, even the child could sense it judging from his sudden worried expression.
"Hey Bobby"
Dean as a teenager was very reminiscent of Dean as an adult. He could only have been about fourteen years old yet his stance was very much the one his adult self had adopted today.
It was equally reminiscent of his father.
Dean slung a bag on the table and threw Bobby a grin. "Got any beer?"
Bobby's posture relaxed again, "Also got padlocks of the fridge boy" he replied though his tone was light. "So don't you go getting any of your ideas."
That devil-may-care grin flashed again.
"Bobby I need you to watch out over Sammy for a few days"
Bobby's eyes narrowed, "And Dean?"
"He's coming with me" John Winchester's voice brooked no argument. Bobby and he held stares for a moment
"I can do it Bobby" Dean's piped up a little too eagerly for Castiel's tastes.
"I know you can son, but huntin's dangerous and your still just a boy"
"He needs to learn" John said ruffling Sam's hair.
Castiel could see the torn look of Bobby's face of a man who wanted to interfere and yet had no real right to.
Time passed until it was dark and clearly a few days later. Bobby and Sam were both sat in front of a fire, Sam with school books and Bobby clearly with some form of research. He saw at a quicker speed than what was natural Sam going upstairs and to bed and Bobby remaining with his numerous papers.
There was a loud bang at the door and Bobby leapt up glancing at the stairs where Sam had gone not an hour before.
"Bobby"
It was John Winchester's voice.
Once the door opened Castiel got a glance of his charge carried by his father and laced gently onto the ratty looking sofa. His face was so very pale and there was a large gash mark down one side of his jacket that was seeped with blood.
"Bobby can you fix the wound"
"Calm down John I haven't even seen the damned thing yet"
"If you cant I need to get him to a hospital, where's the closest_"
"Quit pestering me John" Bobby said pushing the man away. "There's some whiskey in the back, top shelf"
"I don't want a fucking drink" John snapped.
Bobby gave him a withering glance "Ain't for you Johnny"
John Winchester almost stormed straight through were Castiel watched. Bobby didn't spare the other man a single glance as he cut Dean out of his jacket and his t-shirt. The gash was deep and serious enough but Bobby seemed to relax slightly. Clearly confident that while not pretty he could fix this.
"Dean?" Bobby whispered gently.
Dean stirred, his lips pressing together against the pain.
"It's no shame lad in crying out. Got a wound here that would bring most to their knees"
"Not Dad though. He got hurt too" Dean whispered, his voice strained.
Bobby glared at the kitchen "Well he's an idjit for not saying so. Now this is gonna hurt, I gotta pull the fabric away."
Dean nodded, biting his lip. Castiel watched in some fascination as Dean closed his eyes but didn't make a sound. A brave adolescent it seemed. No-one could fault the boy his courage nor his pain threshold.
Bobby heated up a needle, "John gonna need that whiskey now."
"I..."
Both Bobby and Castiel leaned in close as Dean tried to speak.
"What is it son?" Bobby asked.
"I messed up." Dean confessed seemingly miserable. "I slipped and the ghost got me_"
Bobby grabbed Dean perhaps a little harder than he should have, "Don't you think that boy. It happens, it a dangerous thing to be doin'." Castiel saw how he threw the last statement at John as he came in.
"This is gonna sting dude." John said and immediately poured the drink over the wound. Dean arches slightly in pain and a small whimper escaped him.
"It'll be ok" John said pulling Dean's head against him. The boy buried himself into his fathers chest as Bobby worked calmly.
It turned to daylight many days later Castiel assumed. Dean was walking albeit very slowly and Sam was trudging along to the car looking rather forlorn. Bobby stood at the door watching the two as John picked up the last of their belongings.
"You cant keep doing that to Dean" Bobby said unexpectedly. "Boy's gonna kill himself to live up to your standards."
John Winchester turned in anger. "They're my boy's Bobby, I'll raise them as I see fit."
Bobby shook his head, "I won't watch this John. That kid is ashamed of crying and the other don't want this life. A blind man could see it. You'll destroy those boys_"
John dropped the bag and shoved Bobby back into the house and against the wall. "You're not one to lecture me on looking after family Bobby, given the way you took care of your wife!"
Bobby's face registered shock and John clearly realised that he had gone too far. Without a word he picked up the dropped bags and headed out the door only to stop and the sound of a gun clicking.
"You come back here and I'll bury this in you" Bobby hissed, "But you stop those boys from coming here if they need it I'll make sure its got more than just rock salt in it."
John simply walked out without saying a word but from the set of his shoulders he'd heard Bobby loud and clear.
"When we coming back?" Sam asked as he met them at the car.
"We ain't"
Sam looked disappointed but Dean looked crushed. He glanced back at the house with a slightly mad look of desperation and then stared at his father. Without a word he steeled his shoulders and got in the car.
There were many variations of this event. John Winchester had cared about his children yet had shown it poorly. It was clear Dean and Sam still had their fair share of scars from their childhood. He needed to see more...
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For almost a week Castiel had either been fighting with his brothers and sisters or looking into Dean Winchester's past. It was a colourful one though he was impressed by the boy's ability to look after his brother. Dean certainly had been conditioned to protect his brother.
It was starting to annoy him.
Watching a four year old child crawl into a cot with his baby brother was sweet. It showed how naturally caring Dean was that even at the age of four he had been considerate. Watching a young boy steal from others to give his brother a Christmas was misguided yet understandable and in many ways rather selfless.
But the list had gone on and on and on.
Dean Winchester lived for his brother and his father. Castiel was utterly unsure as to how Dean would cope alone.
It seemed that Sam Winchester would have to be given a great pardon otherwise all would be lost. It was infuriating that Sam deliberately chose to indulge in demonic powers and yet would be given pardon after pardon.
It was just as imperative that neither of the brothers realise that or else they would never listen.
He had deliberately stayed away from dark memories. He knew why Dean had gone to hell but had seen very few instances of the year in between the deal and the hellhounds collection. He hadn't touched on many shadowed areas of Dean's childhood. He had no idea why he avoided them.
That wasn't true, he knew exactly why.
The face. The confused, lost face that Dean had shown him the first and only time that they had stood face to face. The one that showed a shattered confidence and utter disregard for his own life. For some reason it made something inside Castiel feel as if it was bleeding.
And it made him hate the demons a little bit more each time.
