Okay, people. I know I have Stronger to worry about but I've been busy, down, and had writer's block all at the same time. In the meantime, I wanted to give this story another shot.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INVADER ZIM OR PARASYTE: THE MAXIM

ALSO, THIS IS RATHER IMPORTANT SO PLEASE READ THIS A/N IF NOTHING ELSE. This is an AU where Zim didn't go to the unnamed town Dib and everyone resides in. Zim is smarter and a little more serious (sometimes), but don't worry. He's as egotistical as ever. GIR is a smidgen smarter (still the butter knife in a drawer full of steak knives) but still not serious at all. In this story, Zim still doesn't know that the Tallest only sent him to get rid of him. I haven't decided whether I'll include Dib yet or not, but if I do, it'll be older Dib.

I'm afraid this chapter won't have anything from Parasyte in it. This is just setting up everything. I promise it gets better.

Now that that's out of the way, onwards!


Stage One

The Extraterrestrials Are Coming

"Doom doom doom doom," sang a tiny robot in a purple ship.

Next to this robot, a small green alien was drooling in his seat of boredom. "GIR. Please stop singing. You're killing me."

"Doom!" yelled GIR enthusiastically.

"Voot Cruiser approaching planet 'Earth,'" said the ship's computer.

"Finally, a planet! I don't know how much more of this I can take," the green figure said, glancing at GIR over his shoulder. "It looks pathetic."

"They're DOOMED! Doom doom doom doom…" sang the very hyper robot next to the figure.

"Please not the doom song," groaned the alien. "GIR, be quiet!"

"Okay," said GIR, plopping down onto the floor like a sack of snacks…er, potatoes.

"Ship entering atmosphere. Scan 'Earth' for a digital map, all mighty and powerful Zim?" said the ship, almost sounding like it was rolling its eyes at the last part.

On the other hand, Zim was quite pleased with himself for that particular program. It was his own design of course.

"Yes, scan this pitiful filth planet. Also find out the language so I can communicate with these…Earthenoids," replied Zim.

All of a sudden, the entire ship burst into flames, causing Zim to release a set of colorful Irken words.

"Activate the atmospheric shield!" screamed Zim, slamming his gloved fist onto a big red button with a smiley face on it.

A pink shield with the Irken symbol on it sprang out of the front of the small ship and wrapped itself around the ship, protecting it from the fire.

Soon enough, he was in the lower part of the atmosphere so Zim deactivated the shield, yelled at the ship's mainframe, and landed in an alley. He looked around skeptically.

"Doesn't look like much," he said.

"Woohoo! We're on Ear—" yelled GIR joyfully before getting cut off.

"Be quiet! We can't afford to lose our stealth factor," Zim whispered-yelled. "Okay, let's get down to business. We need disguises. Computer, what is the dominant species of this planet?"

"It is something called a 'human,'" said the computer, displaying a picture on the screen of a human teenager.

"And the language?"

"'Japanese,'" said the computer. "Well, for this place. There are many languages on this planet."

"Do these humans not have planetary union?"

"It appears not."

"This'll be easy. Let me look at the disguises. And GIR? Quit chewing on that filthy human tool, whatever it is," said Zim, pulling GIR off of a fire hydrant.

The ship changed the screen to show its master some human disguises. The disguises were essentially holograms but they had mass. After a lot of tweaking, Zim decided. The disguise was a short (but just short—not short to Zim's degree. Zim had made sure his disguise wasn't as tall as the Tallest out of respect) teenager who looked to be about seventeen years old in Earth years. It had black hair cut with bangs and green eyes. His entire outfit was based off of his Irken uniform. He wore a light pink shirt with a collar complete with a striped dark pink hoodie. He wore black pants and boots. It had a purple necklace of the Irken symbol that would be his disguise "button." The computer handed Zim the necklace and he activated the disguise.

"Wow, where'd you go?" asked GIR, staring at Zim.

"Brilliant, no? It's me, Zim!" he replied, opening the arms to gesture to himself.

It's weird being this tall, Zim thought abstractedly.

"When do I get one? When do I get one?" asked GIR, bouncing around like a maniac.

Zim turned back to the screen, looking at various Earth animals.

"Hmm…apparently a dog is a perfectly normal animal to have by your side. Computer, show me dog disguises."

The ship complied and showed him some. Zim decided on a large gray (he totally would have gone with green but that might be conspicuous) dog with a white muzzle, white ears, white paws, bright blue eyes and a white tail. The Irken nodded his head and put a green collar on GIR, who turned it on immediately.

Zim pulled out a portable screen of some sort and started drawing something on it. Moments later, it was drilling into the ground. A house sprang up like lightning. Zim compared it to a picture his ship had provided and dubbed it a normal house. It actually was normal if you overlook the creepy green monkey on one of the walls.

Deciding everything was in order, Zim walked to his new bedroom and took an elevator in the closet down to his laboratory, GIR trailing closely behind.

After extensive research, Zim knew a bit more about human society, but not nearly enough to really act normal. Oh well. He would get it eventually. He had an alias, Nakashima Hideaki, and those are cool, so what could possibly go wrong? Besides, he had much more important things to attend to. For instance, how he would enslave the human race and claim another planet for his beloved Irken Empire.

"So, GIR," started Zim, "what do you think would be the best way to make this filthy planet fall to its knees?"