Alrighty the infamous Summer Flare returns…This is the first chapter I hope in a many chapter story, oh and it happens to be a songfic to The Smiths – Asleep, and very sad song. Oh I don't own ffviii, squaresoft, or squaronix or whatever does. R/R please 

I Don't Want to Wake Alone

Chapter One: Goodbye Love

Everyone is hurt in some way or another, the cries of pain echo through the endless plains of the heart. Screams drenched in blood, that make you die inside...And you can pretend you're happy, and that the world loves you again, but you're dead inside...A part of you is extinguished by the mere agony of those voiceless screams, the horrible sadness that stays etched in your mind for all eternity. Its in the eyes, sparkling tears and something else, something more terrifying than anyone could ever comprehend. It's hurt, its pain, it the loss of will and heart...

Knowing that you caused such a thing makes it nearly impossible to live...You feel their pain, you hear the screams in their heart as they look at the one's they love for the last time. You know that you did it one way or another, and there are consequences for every action.

The room was bright with light, both from the shining sun outside and the electric light bulbs emitting their glow. He didn't see it though, it was all dimmed, like a cloud had been set directly above the lights and sun making the world a sorrowful shade of grey. There was the beeping of machinery and the hushed whispers of the people looking in on him.

Many people had come in lately, although he wasn't sure how long it had been. All sense of time had disappeared from his capabilities as did most everything else. Despite the noise, he felt as if the world was quiet, peacefully alone with him, making its amends at this very moment. It was scary though, it was damn near terrifying to him...He never expected anything like this to happen, no, he never expected his dreams to turn on him and bring him here.

Tears stung his dulled green eyes, but nobody seemed to notice; they were all preoccupied with their rendition of the story. He struggled to place his hand over the embarrassing show of emotion, it made him feel safe to be tucked into that little bit of darkness. Somewhere off in the distance, however, there were footsteps, yes the familiar confident clicking of heels. He peaked out from under his hands to confirm who the visitor was.

"Seifer," the owner of the footsteps took a seat next to him, tucking in her blond hair out of habit.

"Quisty," Seifer replied in a quite, almost ironic voice. She looked momentarily surprised at this old pet name, but the emotion changed quickly to one of...Sadness?

"How are you feeling today?" her voice faltered, not quite as cocky as it used to be or as happy. Her eyes told him what he already knew.

Sing me to sleep

Sing me to sleep

I'm tired and I

I want to go to bed

"I'm tired..." he replied simply, putting his arm back to his side.

"You should try and get some rest; sleep would probably be good for you," how sweet of her to talk this way now. He closed his eyes and smiled.

"I will sleep...I haven't because...Because..."

"Why?" she asked almost pained. Suddenly his eyes snapped open, regaining their old spark that ignited the fire.

"I'm sorry," for a moment he seemed to be his old self, always so sure.

"For what?" Quistis forced a smile on her face.

"Everything...I didn't mean for it to go the way it did...I didn't mean to make life hard on you," it was obvious that this was hard for him; Seifer was never the type for apologies.

"Yes you did," she gave a little chuckle, which in turn made him smile.

"Guys always tease the girls they like," he said softly. Quistis tensed up a little and gave a shuddering sigh. "I just wanted to apologize before I go."

Sing me to sleep

Sing me to sleep

And then leave me alone

Don't try to wake me in the morning

'cause I will be gone

"Go? What do you mean go?"

Seifer looked away from her and gazed out the window with a look of deep thought on his face. Outside birds were flying against the morning sky, making their war across the waters of the beach. It was one of those days that Hyne made himself, a gift for the world that was taken for granted. He hated the fact that everything was so dark...For one last time he wish he could see the golden reflection of the water. He wished he could walk on the beach at two am when he had insomnia...But he couldn't, and he had accepted that.

"Quistis, you know what I mean," he didn't look back at her, but just kept looking out the window as the light clouds drifted by endlessly around the world.

"Don't be silly," she said more strictly in her "instructors voice," "Dr. Kadowaki has assured me that you will make a full recovery so don't go saying your goodbyes just yet Almasy."

His eyes flickered to the older girl, who in her attempt at assurance looked like the little lost five year old he knew so long ago.

"You're a bad liar Trepe, but thanks for trying," he gave her a weak smile. "My time is running out...I know it is, and people are waiting for me."

"You sound delirious..." she got up to call a nurse or doctor, but he caught her wrist. It made her flinch, but not because it hurt...In fact the hand was shaky and had no grip almost whatsoever.

It hurt to see this happening; a strong man reduced to a pile of human rubble before her very eyes. There was nothing anyone could do about it, and she knew it...She just wished she could change it.

Quistis quickly took her seat once more and buried her face in her hands crying. She couldn't remember a time when she cried like this, with her soul. It was as if every part of her was torn inside and out.

Don't feel bad for me

I want you to know

Deep in the cell of my heart

I will feel so glad to go

"Shh...Don't cry...I'm ready to go..." he couldn't see her like this. "It's my time and I...I'll feel glad to go. I'm just so tired...I just want to go...Home."

She understood, nobody had ever understood Seifer like she did. He had it so rough his entire life that it was more like living the equivalent to two lives. So much pain and betrayal was traced throughout his history that a normal person wouldn't be able to stand it. He did though, he buried it all deep down, but it would swallow him whole every now and then, reminding him of just how bad things had gotten; making him believe that it was all his fault.

"It's not fair," she looked up, eyes bloodshot ad wet.

"Yes it is...It's been so hard..."

"It's not fair for me," she said in a whisper. "What am I supposed to do?"

There was a moment of silence, this was harder than he had expected.

"Come here," he did his best to move down the bed, and she snuggled up next to him. She brought his arms around her as she had done many times before under better circumstances. Seifer let out a little sigh of contentment, it was like they were puzzle pieces; the only ones that would ever fit together this well.

Sing me to sleep

Sing me to sleep

I don't want to wake up

On my own anymore

Sing me to sleep

Sing me to sleep

I don't want to wake up

On my own anymore

"Just hold me while I go...I don't want to be alone," this made her cry even harder. "I want to stay with you Quistis but I can't."

"I know..." she choked out. "We just didn't have enough time..."

"We had all the time we needed to know...you know," he had never gotten himself to say it. " I don't want to do this anymore.."

"So what do we do now?"

Don't feel bad for me

I want you to know

Deep in the cell of my heart

I really want to go

"We wait..." he rested his cheek against her soft sunny hair. These were the moments that he had lived for, the ones where the world melted away and it was only the two of them. Nobody could hurt them because they had each other, and nobody else knew.

Niether of them spoke, it was understood that there were no words that would be right. It was one of those times when the silence is so comfortable and welcoming that you feel as if the world may shatter if it is disturbed.

Quistis soul broke with every second more that the machines slowed their beeps. The heart monitor was telling her what they already knew, but she couldn't take her eyes off the red spikes on the screen. They were Seifer Almasy, they were him in every essence...But they weren't moving quickly enough...She knew...

There is another world

There is a better world

Well, there must be

Well...

"I love you," he whispered as the machines beep turned into a long toll and the red spikes turned into an endless line.

She was shaking, not with sobs, but with pure sadness. He was dead...But he couldn't be, after all this is Seifer Almasy! This man wouldn't let the combined forced of every SeeD kill him, nor a trip through time and space...He couldn't have gone so willingly, almost happily...Quistis wouldn't leave the body until it was stiff and cold. A part of her believed that he had just fallen asleep, that the machines were lying to her, malfunction or something...Only they weren't.

Suddenly a handful of members from the medical staff rushed in, probably alerted that the machine had indicated a flat line. As soon as they entered though, they all stopped dead in their tracks upon seeing the famed instruction laying with a very dead lapdog. Slowly, as if nothing had happened Quistis stood up and walked out the room, as if the personnel weren't there at all.

She made her way into the main office of the infirmary where the whole gang was there. Quistis wasn't exactly sure why they were there, it wasn't like a damn one of them cared at all. None of them knew him, not like she had. Squall strode up to her with a rather lazy look on his face, you know the look that makes him seem on the verge of sleep every second.

"He dead yet?" the commander questioned with icy uncaring eyes.

The room was up and looking down at Squall in thirty seconds. Quistis had hit him so hard that he had fallen on the floor, the strength her GF's gave her making the hit count.

"How DARE you!" she pushed Zell and Rinoa out of her way and looked down at the surprised Squall.

"What's you're problem!" he shouted back up at her.

"Don't you ever talk so disrespectfully about Seifer Almasy ever again! It was your fault he wound up here in the first place!" everyone just gawked at her, not used to seeing her so angry.

"It WAS my fault? So he is dead then?" that was a bid mistake.

"Shut up!" she kicked him in the face, knocking him unconscious.

"Quistis calm down!" Zell yelled at her as he inspected Squall.

"He's dead, you'll all be happy to know that he is gone forever," she tossed back her hair and rushed out of the automatic doors.

"Did we just miss something?" a confused Selphie asked the rest of her friends.

"Yeah, why the hell does she care so much?" Zell helped the mostly unconscious Squall sit up against the wall. A light snickering came from the corner where Irvine was leaning against a wall.

"Cause they were in love...Didn't you guys see it?"

Sing to me

Sing to me

I don't want to wake up

On my own anymore

Bye bye

Bye bye

Bye ...