Summary: When Remus doesn't return from a spy mission, the whole order is left wondering and searching. After two months, Bellatrix reveals the secret- they've had him the whole time. However, when Sirius finds him, the torture method is found. And it's not physical. Can Sirius repair his best friend's mind? Or is it the end of Moony? Au-Sirius survives the battle at the ministry. During Ootp. Inspired by RedvsBlue season 10


It was silent in 12, Grimmauld. Despite the Order being there, along with Sirius and the Trio, it felt dark and mourning. Dumbledore himself wasn't his usual cheer- instead he was grim, speaking in a tone that only meant bad news.

Remus Lupin, who had gone out on a mission, didn't make it back on the date he was supposed to. It wasn't until the battle at the ministry that Sirius found out why.

Two months after Remus had left, Bellatrix had bragged to Sirius as she was battling him. She bragged about "finally breaking moony" until Sirius had finally cursed her in anger as he realized what she meant.

After collecting the rest of the death eaters who weren't dead, Moody had finally got an answer out of Greyback. Remus was back in Malfoy manor, along with a couple of others who had gone missing that year.

When Sirius and Mad-eye had gotten there, even Mad-eye had to be shocked at the sight. Remus was the only one left alive, but he was far from being okay.

The thing that hurt Sirius the most, however, was the fact Remus did not recognize him. Remus was shy, trying to move away when Sirius had tried to go in for a hug, and not seeming like he had been physically touched. In fact, he seemed younger, so much younger. His clothes were clean and the only noticeable scars were the 3 permanent ones on his face.

Mad-eye and Dumbledore both ran diagnostics on Remus, coming to the conclusion that "obliviate" was not the reason for Remus not recognizing anyone and not having any recollection of who he was.

Dumbledore did something he would regret later, but he looked into Remus's very open mind, and saw the real truth.

It wasn't until that Dumbledore had realized what happened. He informed Mad-eye, and the pair moved downstairs to tell the rest.

"Remus's case is very difficult. It seems that he has done the very worst a wizard could do to them selfs, and that is to break apart the mind." Hermione was one of the only ones to get it at first, gasping.

Sirius only slightly knew what Dumbledore was talking about, nodding his head for Dumbledore to continue.

"They put him through the most mentally unstable situations. When the soul and brain are through to much, the wizard can choose to break apart certain aspects of them selfs to preserve sanity."

"The memories they used on him were fake- they were tests to see how easily he would break down enough to get information out of him with out physically hurting him."

Dumbledore paused as the group took in the information. Sirius had a firm grip on the chair that Harry was sitting in. Molly had first refused to let the underage wizards in, but after a quick look at the group, had stopped all arguments.

"But instead, Remus broke apart his mind-to save the rest of us."

Dumbledore took a breath, then spoke again.

"When a wizard breaks apart their own mind, it leaves them in a state of confusion and pain. Remus reached this after about two months, the longest anyone has ever survived mental pain such as his."

"He first removed his own intelligence. This would allow him to be in a state of unknowing so he couldn't comprehend what was happening to him. "

"Sir?" Harry interrupted, his eyes glassy. "When you say he removed his intelligence-"

"Not in the way you think, Potter. He still has common knowledge, and he still would be considered smart- but not even close to what he was before." Mad-eye said, his voice gruff but filled with a uncommon tone from him-grief.

"When anger and other emotions seeped in-" Dumbledore continued, "He removed that too. His trust went next, until he was left with only memories."

"It was about a week before finding him that he did it. He couldn't handle the pain of seeing the ones he loved suffer, so he removed his own memories of his loved ones, and the fake memories that they hade made to torture him. He still can remember his life- but it just seems like the people he loved and cared for are cut out. He did it to preserve the last bit of sanity he has left"

"So, if you asked him if he was a prefect in his fifth year at Hogwarts, he would say yes. If you asked him if he was a werewolf, he would say yes. However, if you asked him who his best friends were in school, he would be unable to answer, since he cut those memories out."

"If you asked him his name- he would be stumped. He knows he has a name, but everything that made Remus Lupin, well, Remus Lupin, had been removed."

The whole table was silent. As they soaked the terrible information in, Sirius asked one last question.

"Can we get all of those back? His intelligence, the strong emotions, and his memories?"

Dumbledore was silent for awhile before answering.

"Maybe. He removed a lot, and I am sure they are still at the manor, but I cannot say if we do find them, if Remus could mentally handle any of it."

"The reason he looks younger was not his doing, though. It was his body and soul working to make a last attempt to make him happy before he removed his memories. He seems to be about 16, Sirius. That can be a starting point for healing him."

Dumbledore left with the rest of the order who were not staying there, and Sirius, who had been keeping in his pain since seeing Remus again, silently left, walking up the stairs to where Remus was.


Remus sat alone in the dark room. He didn't know why he was here, the Malfoy's would be very angry if he was out. He knew what happened last time he tried, and he paid for it in the form of death.

Well, he didn't die. The first time he tried to get out, a man with curly, medium length hair had died. He remembers being devastated and his heart hurt. He remembers crying. He just couldn't remember why he was upset about the man. He cant even feel that emotion now, he realized.

After that, watching death seemed easier. Less painful. He couldn't understand why the people were dying, he just knew it was terrible.

The next person to go was a pretty pink-haired woman. He remembers feeling something for that woman. He remembers getting angry after she had died. He remembers hitting, kicking at everyone until he was strapped down. He remembers the "Bella" girl telling him he was being punished.

A lot of people died that day. A boy with glasses and dark messy hair, along with a bearded man had died. He tried crying after that, he really did, but he just couldn't feel anymore.

After a week, he couldn't remember the names of all the people who died anymore. He couldn't remember why he even felt deep pain for their deaths after they had died.

He remembers being rewarded after that. He was allowed clean clothes and an wolfsbane potion. The transition to werewolf seemed easiest that night, he had realized, compared to the night the curly hair man died.

Then the next night, two men showed up. He was initially shy at first, despite not feeling anything anymore, he did not want others to die.

It wasn't until one of the men had tried hugging him that he realized they were here to take him away. He did not know why, but he went along with it anyway.

Then he realized the people who he saw before being taken upstairs looked- odd. He knows something about the people- and the girl who had pink hair seemed to really make him wonder what was happening.

He didn't know any of them, yet, he felt like he had seen them before. Maybe he had seen them if they were at the manor? The Malfoy's loved parties, so he may have seen them then?

As he was left upstairs, he allowed himself to wander around. After about an hour, he heard a soft knock at the door, and a curly haired man walked in.

"Hello, Remus. How are you feeling?" The man asked. Remus was taken aback, this was the first time since he found himself at Malfoy manor- some was talking to him, not at him.

"Fine, I guess. Who are you again?" Remus asked, sitting across the man and cocking his head to the side. The man's smile deflated a bit before answering.

"It's Sirius. Sirius black-but you can call me Padfoot." Remus raised an eyebrow at the last part.

"Padfoot? That's a strange name"

"Well, it is, isn't it? Did Dumbledore tell you-" Sirius began, his voice suddenly more forcefull.

"That I really do know all of you, and that I just can't remember? Yeah, he told me."

Sirius nodded. "Well, just for the record, we call you Moony."

Remus laughed a bit. "I guess it has something to do with the full moon?" Surround smiled.

"Yeah, mate. It does."