Solace

Summary: Still reeling from Han's death and its circumstances, Leia finds solace in the form of Rey.

Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to…ugh. Well, at least Disney isn't outright homophobic, despite the de-canonization of okay let's not go there.

Pairings: Rey/Leia

Author's Notes: Why can't I stop writing this pairing!? What's wrong with me!?


Rey couldn't sleep. She had been given quarters of her own, which included a bed. Most people would have found military-issue beds hard and uncomfortable, but by Rey's standards, it was so soft as to be distracting.

As she lay on her bed wondering if she should give up on sleeping on a mattress and move to the floor, an overwhelming sense of pain struck Rey so suddenly and violently that she gasped aloud. It was not pain from a physical injury, but the kind of emotional pain that was so intense it manifested itself in the body. Rey curled in on herself, crying out, wrapping her arms around herself, and it took her a moment to realize that the pain she was sensing wasn't her own. I must be feeling someone else's suffering through the Force, Rey thought. But who…?

The answer came to her almost instantly. Rey got up and ran in the direction her senses took her. All of the quarters were in the same area of the base, so she quickly found the door she was looking for and knocked. "General Organa?"

The door opened to reveal a disheveled Leia Organa, her face streaked with tears and her long braid askew. "Rey." Her voice was raspy, reinforcing the fact that she had been crying. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you."

Rey peeked inside. The power of the general's grief had been formidable; her belongings were scattered across the floor, some of them embedded in the wall. The metal cabinets (was that the right word? Rey wasn't sure) that held clothing were warped and twisted. Rey knew without asking that the damage had been caused by the Force, not by Leia's hands.

Rey wasn't sure what was expected of her to do in such a situation, so she blurted out the firs thing that came to mind. "Do you want me to come in?"

General Organa sighed. "That's an interesting question, Rey. I should tell you that everything is just fine and you should go back to your room. But do I want you to come in? Yes."

Rey remembered when General Organa had approached her as she disembarked from the Millennium Falcon, how there was an immediate connection between them. Rey felt something similar now. She stepped into the general's quarters. General Organa closed the door and wrapped her arms tightly around Rey. Rey had no idea whether or not she was doing it right, but she hugged the other woman back. She wasn't sure where to put her hands; one of them ended up in the center of General Organa's back, the other on the base of her braid.

"Thank you," the general sighed. "Rey?"

"Yes?"

"I…I need to ask you something."

Rey could hear the other woman's voice trembling. "What is it?"

"Did you see Han die?"

Without meaning to, Rey remembered the sight of the blazing red lightsaber piercing Han Solo's chest and emerging on the other side. She shuddered. "Yes."

"I have nothing to bury," General Organa whispered. "There will be a token funeral if there is any. I felt him die. I felt the Dark Side burgeoning in my son at the same time as I felt my husband's life snuffed out. But I…I can't believe he's gone."

"I don't know if I could…describe it to you," said Rey.

"I'm not asking you to." General Organa stepped back and gently cupped Rey's face in her hands. "Will you let me into your mind so I can see what happened to Han?"

Rey thought of Kylo forcing his way into her head, trawling through her memories, uncovering her innermost weaknesses. She had reversed the nonconsensual connection on him, but her blood was running cold just thinking about it. But would it be different if she gave General Organa permission to look at one memory in particular?

"I'm afraid," Rey murmured.

General Organa took one of Rey's hands between her two. "It's all right. You don't have to."

"What if I think about it?" said Rey. "Would it be less…ugly for me if you enter my mind while I try to remember what you're looking for?"

General Organa thought about that. "I don't know. But I think that would be likely."

Rey took a breath. "I'll do it."

The general led Rey to her bed and gestured for her to sit down. Rey sat cross-legged and the other woman sat facing her. General Organa took Rey's hands and squeezed. "I want you to think of what you saw when my Han died."

Rey nodded. She leaned forward, and General Organa followed suit until their foreheads were touching. "Tell me when you're ready," General Organa murmured.

Rey closed her eyes, trying to tell herself that as painful as it had been to watch Han Solo die, it would be worse for the general. She forced herself to summon the memory even as her eyes stung with tears. "I'm ready."

"All right," said General Organa in a low voice. "I'm going to try to look into your mind now. I haven't done this before…needless to say…so…if you need me to stop, please say so."

When Kylo Ren was interrogating her, Rey had felt like her mind was a home whose door had been kicked in and the windows shattered. What she felt from General Organa was more like a polite knock. When she sensed the general's presence in her mind, there was an element of wrongness to it, like thoughts weren't meant to be shared this way, but Rey tried to focus on what she had seen of Han Solo's demise. And then General Organa was there with her, watching through her eyes, witnessing Kylo Ren seem to offer his hand to his father and then there was the terrible crimson of the lightsaber protruding from Han's back, Han staggering and crumpling…

The noise Leia Organa made was like nothing human that Rey had ever heard, or anything alien either. It was agony in sound form. Her hands scrabbled helplessly at Rey's shoulders as she screamed the word "no" over and over and over, then buried her face in Rey's chest, sobbing. Rey had no idea what to say, so she just held onto the other woman tightly.

It seemed like an hour before General Organa's tears finally subsided. "I'm sorry, Rey," she said, her voice barely recognizable. "I didn't think I would be that…affected."

"I understand," said Rey softly. "It's all right, General."

General Organa laughed grimly and let go of Rey. "In light of what I just asked of you, I think you can call me Leia."

"Leia," Rey tried. She liked the way the name felt in her mouth. "All right."

"I've cried all over you," Leia sighed.

"I was given several pairs of…" What was it called? "…sleepwear. I can easily put on another pair."

"I suppose you're used to having limited clothing." Leia wiped her eyes, and Rey wondered why she was choosing to discuss what she had worn on Jakku instead of what had transpired.

"Leia, are you all right?"

"I think I've put enough on you for tonight, Rey. You may return to your room." Leia got up and went to her mirror, where she began to undo her long braid.

Rey got up and walked over to Leia, hovering behind her shoulder. "Why don't you want to talk to me? Have I done something wrong?"

Leia turned to face her, an expression that Rey couldn't read on her face. "Of course not."

"Then why do you want me to leave?"

Leia was quiet for a long moment, her quick fingers un-braiding her hair and combing through it. "I don't want you to leave. But I thought you would be glad to go. You just dealt with a strange woman waltzing into your mind and then crying all over you."

"You aren't that strange to me," Rey demurred. "I've been hearing tales of Princess Leia Organa my whole life."

"Sorry to shatter the pedestal," said Leia with a laugh that contained no levity.

Rey was completely unused to physical contact, but from the moment Finn had embraced her back on Starkiller Base, something had shaken loose in her, something that had made it feel completely right to walk into Leia's arms twice that day. Now, she reached out and rested a hand on Leia's shoulder. Leia covered Rey's hand with hers. "It isn't like that," Rey insisted softly. "I know you're upset. I want to help."

Leia didn't say anything for a long time. When she spoke, it was so quiet that Rey almost didn't hear her. "Will you stay?"

It took Rey a moment to figure out exactly what that meant. "Stay…here? With you?"

"Yes."

"Of course! I could sleep on the floor if the bed is too small for the both of us; I'm not used to sleeping on a mattress."

Leia returned to the task of braiding her hair. "Then we should get you used to sleeping on a mattress. Hopefully you'll never have to sleep without one again."

Rey went to lie down while Leia finished fixing her hair. Leia's mattress was no firmer than hers; it still felt too soft. But she was tired now, the kind of tiredness that went deep as the bone. Maybe she would fall asleep eventually. It might help to have Leia there.

When Leia was finished with her braid, she walked over to her bed and lay down, seemingly trying to put as much distance between herself and Rey as possible. Rey reached for her and Leia interlaced her fingers with Rey's. "You don't have to be so far away from me," Rey murmured.

"I doubt I'll sleep well tonight," said Leia with that same grim smile she had shown Rey earlier. "I'll probably move in my sleep. I don't want to wake you."

"I don't mind," said Rey, edging closer. She was just beginning to realize how much she had missed, not being close with humans for so long. She thought she could get used to more physical contact.

Leia tucked herself against Rey, her head under the younger woman's chin. They held onto each other tightly at first, then Leia's grip slackened as sleep overtook her. Rey was awake for longer, the sensations of lying on a mattress and being close to another person both incredibly unfamiliar, but at the same time, the solid warmth of Leia was comforting. Eventually, Rey followed her into slumber.

Leia had been right that she wouldn't sleep well. Rey woke some hours later to the sound of Leia's dry, hacking sobs, the sound of someone who had wept so much that their body couldn't handle any more grief, but the grief wouldn't stop. She had been trying to muffle her cries with the pillow to keep from waking Rey, and she murmured, "I'm sorry" when she saw that Rey was awake. For the second time that night, Rey held Leia until she stopped crying. This time, when Leia fell asleep, she stayed asleep.

When Rey woke up, Leia was already awake, absentmindedly stroking Rey's hand.

"Did I wake you? Again?"

"No." Rey nuzzled close to Leia again.

"Rey, you haven't had a lot of human contact for the last few years, have you?"

"Mmm…no."

"It would seem you're making up for lost time," Leia sighed. She gave Rey a quick squeeze. "I have duties to attend to, but you can sleep here if you want."

"I might." Rey closed her eyes. "I'm still tired."

Leia stood and gazed sadly down at Rey. "I'm afraid that's my fault. I should have sent you back to your room last night instead of…" She paused. "What happened between us last night was wrong. I shouldn't have asked that of you."

Rey thought back to the previous night: Leia's forehead touching hers, Leia screaming in agony, Leia clinging to her… "I think it was worse for you than it was for me."

Leia shook her head. "Entering someone's mind is wrong, even with permission. And it was almost too easy." She shuddered. "Now of all times, I must keep to the light side of the Force."

"It might have been easy because I allowed it," Rey offered.

"That's sweet of you, Rey, but I can't afford to believe pretty lies right now." Leia went to her mirror and began undoing the simple long braid she had worn during the night. Rey watched her and noticed that her fingers were shaking. She got up and went to Leia, resting a hand on her shoulder. At the light touch, Leia broke down again, and she turned sideways and leaned on Rey, trying and failing not to cry. "No, dammit, not again…"

"It's all right," Rey soothed, not sure exactly what she was referring to, folding the general into her arms again. Rey had never thought of herself as tall, but Leia seemed tiny compared to her.

"It hurts." Leia's voice was almost a moan. "It hurts, Rey. Death is a void where life once was, and I can feel it. Ever since I first sensed Han's death, I've felt it."

Rey thought of the painfully sharp memory of her parents' ship soaring into the upper atmosphere as she screamed for them to come back. "I…I'm just learning how to use the Force. But I think I have some idea of how you feel."

Leia's hands gripped Rey's shoulders as she struggled to get her tears under control. "I can't let my soldiers see me like this," she whispered. "I have to be strong for them, especially now that Hosnian Prime is gone…"

Rey rested her cheek on the top of Leia's head, wishing she knew what to say. But she could think of nothing, so she remained silent while Leia composed herself. "I promise that at some point, I will stop crying all over you," Leia sighed as she returned to the arduous-looking task of fixing her hair. Rey felt rather inclined to watch the operation; Leia had a tremendous amount of hair, and Rey couldn't help but be curious about how she managed to pile all of it onto her head. She sat on Leia's bed and watched the well-practiced movements of Leia's hands as she braided her hair and pinned the braids to her scalp. She forced open one of the doors of her closet (closet, that was what it was called, not cabinet) and used the open door to conceal herself as she changed her clothes. She emerged a few minutes later, poised and ready to greet the day, a slight swelling around her eyes the only indication that she had been crying. "I'll see you later, Rey. I expect you'll want to get to the galley soon; Maker knows you need food."

Rey blinked. It had been explained to her that food was served thrice daily, which had seemed so incredible to her that she had forgotten it. "Right. The galley."

Leia stood momentarily in front of her door and took a deep breath before exiting her quarters. Rey tried to sleep, but the mattress was still too soft, and without Leia lying close to her, she had nothing to soothe her back to sleep. She got up and went to her quarters where she changed into the clothing she had been issued. (Leia had apologized for the limited selection; Rey had been grateful for any new, clean clothes that fit her.)

Rey spent the day trying to make sense of the routine of the place; the Resistance was a military operation, so there was an element of strictness to it, but it was not so regimented that there were not opportunities for her to make herself useful, and she was allowed to visit Finn in the infirmary whenever she wanted. She spent most of the day performing maintenance on the Resistance's ships and was enjoying doing work that she didn't have to do to survive so much that she almost forgot to report to the galley for meals. Meals were by far the strangest thing about the Resistance base; she was allowed to eat as much as she wanted, and she didn't have to trade anything for her food. At the evening meal, she ate much more than her body was used to and made herself sick. After she had thrown up, she felt vaguely dirty and found herself wishing that she could somehow get clean.

Abruptly she realized that there was a way for her to get clean: the showers. She had fumbled her way through her first shower, not understanding how to get the water to do what she wanted, and had left the shower feeling deliciously clean but also vaguely ashamed. This time, she would ask for help.

Leia must have sensed her approach; the door opened just as she was about to knock. "Evening, Rey," she said. "Do you need something?"

Rey's cheeks reddened as she realized how foolish the words would sound coming out of her mouth. "I…it's nothing."

"Somehow I don't think you came to me for nothing. It is something that embarrasses you?"

Rey flushed darker. Could Leia sense what she was feeling, or was it obvious? "I…I don't know how to use the showers."

Leia laughed, but it wasn't a mocking laugh. "I have a private shower; one of the perks of being a general. You can come in. I'll help you."

Relief flooded Rey as she walked into Leia's quarters. Leia led her into the small bathroom, which did indeed have a shower, but the showerhead appeared to be set up to spray water into a large, hollow, white, shiny structure. "I wasn't sure what the different knobs were for," Rey confessed. "They both seemed to produce water."

"The knobs control the temperature. This one is hot, this one is cold." Leia pointed as she spoke. "You can turn them on and stick your hand in the stream to test the water. Then you adjust the temperature until it's to your liking, then you get in." Leia eyed Rey, who was holding her sleepwear. "Did you forget your towel and bathrobe?"

Rey blinked. The last word Leia had used was unfamiliar to her. "My…what?"

"Oh, were you not issued those? You can use mine." Leia went back to her bedroom and returned with a towel and a one-piece off-white garment that looked soft and easy to put on.

"Is that a…what's it called?"

"It's a bathrobe," Leia explained, smiling. "I don't suppose you had one. You towel yourself off, put the bathrobe on right when you get out of a shower or bath so you don't get your clothes wet, then you change."

Rey hadn't known about toweling herself off either; she had assumed the strange looks she had gotten as she walked into the communal showers were because she was knew and rumors about her were already flying, but she hadn't known that the large, fluffy rectangles of cloth the others were carrying were an essential part of showering. "Oh."

Leia hung the towel and bathrobe on a hook that was set into the wall. "Why don't you try getting the water to a temperature you like?"

Rey hung up her sleepwear and tried both knobs. After the water was on, she stuck her hand into the stream of water and judged it not unbearably cold.

"You can set it to a temperature you like, not a temperature you can tolerate," Leia pointed out. Rey nodded and tried increasing the heat. It took her a little while, but eventually she had a stream of pleasantly hot water. She wasn't sure she had ever taken a hot shower before.

"Oh, it looks like you don't have a cloth, either." Leia disappeared for a moment and reappeared holding a small square of cloth. "How are you at washing yourself?"

"Not good," Rey admitted.

Leia showed Rey how to soap up the cloth so she could scrub herself with it. "Would you be terribly opposed to me helping you wash your hair?"

The way she said it, it sounded like she wasn't actually expecting any resistance. Rey blushed and wrapped her arms around herself. The gesture was not lost on Leia.

"Is something wrong?"

Rey swallowed. "Back on Jakku, letting someone see you undressed meant you were willing to go to whatever they used as a bed for a few quarter-portions."

Leia touched Rey's shoulder. "What do you say I send you to go looking for my brother with all the rations the Resistance can spare, and in exchange, you make sure you feed yourself properly?"

Rey couldn't help but smile. "Okay."

"And I'll give you privacy while you undress. Call me when you're ready for me to help you with the shampoo and conditioner."

Rey nodded. Leia showed her how to pull a small lever to switch the water over from pouring from the showerhead to the faucet, asked if Rey had any more questions, and left the bathroom and closed the door. Rey stripped off her clothes and climbed into the tub. She couldn't hold back a sigh as she sank into the water. She laid her head down against one corner of the tub and luxuriated for a while in the sensation of lying in the warm water. But she didn't want to keep Leia waiting, so she pulled her knees to her chest and shyly called out "Leia?"

Leia came back into the bathroom and closed the door. She shucked off her vest, rolled up her sleeves, and sat beside the tub. "How are you liking it?"

Rey had expected to be less comfortable with Leia seeing her naked in the tub, but most of her body was covered. And Leia had already promised to give Rey plenty of rations in exchange for…nothing really. "It's wonderful."

"I see you already got your hair wet; that's good. It needs to be wet for the shampoo to work." Leia reached for a bottle that was perched on one corner of the tub and squirted some of what was inside into her hand. Rey watched, curious; apparently, "shampoo" was a viscous, slightly pink, shiny liquid. "I go through this stuff like you wouldn't believe, but you don't need that much. Now, close your eyes, and I'll lather this through your hair."

Rey closed her eyes and felt Leia's hand on her head, spreading the shampoo through her hair. To her surprise, she then felt both of Leia's hands on her head, her strong fingers working through her hair, massaging her scalp. Rey sighed.

"You really have to work it into a lather," Leia was saying. "If it doesn't lather, it won't get your hair clean. And really work at your scalp; that's what gets the dirtiest."

Rey knew she should be paying attention, but she couldn't help but focus on how good Leia's hands felt. She had never had anyone massage her scalp before. She hadn't known what to expect from Leia helping her wash her hair, but she certainly hadn't expected it to feel so good.

"This is so easy with shorter hair," Leia mused. "Rey, are you listening? You look like you're worlds away."

"Sorry," Rey mumbled, opening her eyes. "That feels so good!"

Leia laughed. "You really are deprived of physical contact if you're that affected by me washing your hair."

"I like your hands," Rey murmured.

"Well, that's certainly an interesting compliment." Leia reached for a simple plastic container sitting beside the tub. "I'm going to rinse your hair now. Close your eyes again."

Rey did and felt the almost startling heaviness of the water pouring over her head. Leia rinsed her hair with several more containers-full of water and said, "Open your eyes. Now I'm going to show you how to use the conditioner."

"If the shampoo cleans my hair, what does the conditioner do?"

"Keeps it healthy."

Rey considered Leia's hair. "Is that why your hair is so long and thick?"

"That's part of it." Leia squirted some of the conditioner into her hand. "You're going to want to work this through just the ends of your hair, not your scalp. Otherwise your hair will get greasy. You want to try?"

"I'd rather you do it," said Rey, who was wondering how she could get Leia to touch her hair and scalp more in the future.

"All right." Leia worked the conditioner through Rey's hair. "Your hair is in surprisingly good condition considering the fact that you've been living in a desert. I'll make sure you're issued some shampoo and conditioner. Were you given a robe and cloth?"

"I'm not sure," Rey confessed. "I was a bit…overwhelmed with receiving so much for free."

Leia laughed, but it was a mournful sound. "You deserve so much better than what you've experienced." She paused in her attentions to Rey's hair. "I almost wish you could stay here. The Resistance would take care of you."

"I would like to stay with you," Rey whispered.

Leia sighed. "You should wash yourself while the conditioner is still in your hair. It works better the longer it sits. I showed you how to soap up the cloth, right? I'll give you some privacy now. When you're finished washing, make sure you rinse the soap off, otherwise you'll itch." With that, she got up and left, almost forgetting to pick up her vest. Rey sank down into the tub, wondering if she had said or done something to upset Leia. She scrubbed herself all over and rinsed her hair the way Leia had taught her. When she got out of the tub, she used the towel to dry herself and quickly wrapped herself in the robe; she hadn't anticipated that she would feel so cold.

When she exited the bathroom, Leia was sitting on the bed in her sleepwear, looking over a data pad. She looked up at Rey with a small smile. "Did it go all right?"

"Yes." Rey sat down beside Leia. "Did I do something wrong?"

Leia looked up at her, surprised. "No. Why would you ask that?"

"You seemed upset when I said that I would like to stay here instead of…" Rey wasn't sure how to phrase it. "Setting out on a quest to find Luke Skywalker."

Leia touched the back of Rey's hand. "I've lost so many people. I suppose I'm trying not to get attached."

"So…you don't want me to stay the night again?"

Leia eyed Rey's wet hair. "I'll help you dry your hair while I think about that." She got up and retrieved a device that Rey didn't recognize, but it seemed to have a handle and some kind of nozzle. "This is a hair dryer." She plugged the device in and switched it on; it roared to life. "I'll have to change the setting…I would imagine my hair requires a higher setting than yours." She flipped another switch on the hair dryer and its loud noise softened a bit.

"There's a device just for drying hair?"

"I imagine it seems like quite a luxury to you…I suppose it is." Leia positioned herself behind Rey and aimed the hair dryer at Rey's hair, which whipped wildly in the hot wind. "I'll start it and then you can give it a try."

Rey figured out the hair dryer fairly easily, and soon her hair was dry. "So…shall I stay?"

Leia closed her eyes. "Only if you don't mind my nightmares waking you up."

"I don't. I think I sleep better with you."

"Well, don't get used to that," said Leia dryly. She stretched out on the bed; Rey lay down beside her. Leia's hand found hers and squeezed. "Good night, Rey."

Rey squeezed back. "Good night."

When Rey couldn't fall asleep tight away, she edged closer to Leia and tucked the other woman's body under her arm. Leia, already half-asleep, nestled herself close to Rey. Rey fell asleep with her face buried in Leia's hair.

Some time later, Rey felt herself pulled from a dream—a nonsensical, not especially memorable sequence of events that had something to do with her minor difficulties adjusting to life on the Resistance base—by the sensation of Leia's hands sifting through her hair. It was familiar, soothing, and then there was something new: a soft, warm touch on Rey's neck, and it took Rey a moment to realize that it was not Leia's hands but her lips that she was feeling at the base of her throat. Her head tilted back to allow Leia better access, and she heard herself sigh, as if from a distance, as Leia left a trail of kisses from the hollow between her collarbones to just beneath her right ear. Rey reached out, trying to wrap her arms around Leia, but something was wrong; her vision was fuzzy and the edges of the world were soft, as if the known universe were small and wrapped in mist. The realization came to Rey suddenly: I'm dreaming. No—Leia is dreaming, about me, and I'm experiencing it. How do I know this? How am I in her dream? Leia's lips met the swell of one of Rey's breasts and she realized she didn't care how it was happening, but she was glad it was.

"Leia, kiss me!" she heard her dream-self say, and then Leia's lips were on hers, soft and gentle. Rey reached out for her dream-lover, and this time she could feel Leia in her arms. She tangled her fingers in Leia's hair. She had never kissed anyone before—it wasn't something that interested her much—but she was glad it was happening with Leia. It felt good. Very good.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" came Leia's voice from somewhere above her. Rey looked up and Leia's face swam into view. Her eyes were clear and bright, not tired and swollen the way they had been recently. Leia's hands caressed Rey's sides and Rey trembled as she realized that Leia was touching bare skin, that she was completely naked. Her hair was wet; she was fresh from her bath, and somehow she knew that in this dream, she had exited the bathroom undressed and gone to Leia's bed instead of emerging wearing her bathrobe.

"I want you," Rey heard her dream-self moan. I don't; not the same way she wants me, Rey thought. But I trust her.

Leia gathered Rey into her arms and covered her face and neck with kisses. Rey wondered if she had any control over what her dream-self said or if she was just a passive observer in Leia's dream. She decided to try to say something, and was able to make her dream-self say "No one has ever done this for me."

"I'll be gentle," Leia promised. "Are you ready for me to touch your breasts?"

"Yes." This time Rey agreed wholeheartedly with her dream-self. She moaned as she felt Leia's small, strong hands cover her breasts and massage carefully.

"They're so little and perfect," Leia murmured. "How does that feel?"

"Good," Rey sighed. Leia leaned over and moved her hands out of the way so she could kiss Rey's breasts, focusing her kisses on the tip of the left one. Rey squirmed and whimpered. She could tell that Leia was undressed as well, and she could feel Leia's full, soft breasts against her belly. Hers were so much smaller; was that good or bad? Did it matter? Rey concluded that it didn't matter as she felt Leia's lips close around her nipple, and she made a noise that was almost a scream as the tip of Leia's tongue caressed exquisitely sensitive flesh.

Leia sat up and Rey made a little noise of protest. "Are you all right? Is that too much?"

"Keep going! Please!"

Leia enthusiastically acceded to Rey's request, wrapping her arms around Rey's thin body as she arched off the bed.

"Ohh, Leia!"

Leia shifted so she could offer the same treatment to Rey's other breast. Rey groaned, her hands making fists in Leia's thick, silky hair. She felt Leia move again, this time to press one thigh against the join of Rey's legs. Rey's hips rocked upward unconsciously and an extraordinary sensation spread through her. She gasped, repeating the motion over and over as a delicious tension began to build below her belly.

"Well, now I know what you like," said Leia with a small chuckle. "Are you ready for more?"

"Yes," sighed her dream-self, though in reality, she wasn't sure what Leia meant. She quickly found out; Leia moved to the side and cupped one hand against the notch of Rey, pressing lightly. Rey's hips flexed upward, grinding herself against Leia's hand. She felt Leia's fingertips press on just the right spot, caressing in a circular motion. Rey moaned and writhed beneath Leia's touch, pleasure flooding her senses. "W-why does that feel so amazing?" she panted.

"You're very sensitive here, my dear," Leia murmured. "Some women prefer penetration, but…not many. Many women enjoy what I'm doing for you now."

Words were lost to Rey. She gripped Leia's shoulders, crying out wordlessly. She felt her whole body tremble as the pleasure reached an intensity that was almost, almost too much, and then it abated, leaving her quivering and satisfied.

Leia kissed her. "How did that feel?"

"Incredible," Rey whispered when she had access to words again.

Leia held Rey close and kissed her shoulder. "Are you ready to take care of me now?"

In response, Rey sat up and began hungrily kissing Leia's neck. Leia sighed and situated herself on her back, her legs pressed to Rey's sides.

Rey tried to copy what Leia had done for her. She was grateful that her dream-self seemed to know what to do, artfully cradling and massaging Leia's breasts, kissing and suckling at her nipples. Leia moved her hands over Rey's back, sighing and occasionally moaning Rey's name. Rey savored the little noises; she loved how her name sounded when Leia said it.

"Do you want me to touch you between your legs?" Rey asked, and Leia smiled.

"I have another idea." She gripped Rey's waist and pushed her almost playfully down on the bed, arranging Rey's legs and situating her hips against Rey's. Rey whimpered. "How does that feel?" Leia murmured.

Rey squirmed. "Mmm!"

Leia caressed Rey's sides. "Is that a good or bad noise?"

"Good," Rey panted.

Leia began to rock her hips slowly, passing her hands over Rey's waist and legs. "Rey…"

"Ohh!" Rey wanted to watch her dream-lover, but her dream-self laid her head back and closed her eyes. The unfamiliar but extraordinary feelings of pleasure began to overtake her again. She couldn't have lifted her head even if she had wanted to.

"You're such an amazing girl, Rey," Leia sighed.

Rey wanted to say something back, but neither she nor her dream-self could find words. She clung to Leia, her mind awash with pleasure, and this time it barely took any time at all for Rey's body to bow and tremble in ecstasy. Then Leia was holding her and kissing her again, murmuring more compliments between kisses.

Far more suddenly than it began, the dream ended. Rey sat up from the abruptness of it and found herself in Leia's bed again, but this time Leia was clothed and peacefully asleep. Rey noticed that there was a small smile on her face. Well, I know she's having good dreams, Rey thought with a smile. She settled down next to Leia, close as she dared without disturbing her. Her thoughts drifted back to the dream, which had seemed so vivid but was already fading. She didn't want it to fade.

A tired Rey dozed off while trying to remember the dream she had shared with Leia. When she woke, it was morning, and Leia was already awake. "Morning, Rey," she said drowsily.

Rey moved close to Leia and draped an arm over her. "Good morning." Even after sleeping, the dream was still fresh in her mind. It felt almost like she had really become Leia's lover the night before.

"Feeling affectionate this morning?" Leia murmured as Rey traced circles on her back.

"Mmm…yes."

Leia gave a long, happy sigh. "I have my duties, Rey."

"Stay," Rey urged softly.

"I can't." She gave Rey a quick hug and got up.

Rey lay in bed and watched Leia go about her morning routine. "Leia?"

"Hmm?"

Rey blushed as she thought about what to say. She couldn't quite bring herself to say exactly what was on her mind. "Should…I…come back tonight?"

"If you want," said Leia distractedly, already absorbed in thoughts of everything she had to accomplish that day. Rey bit her lip and watched Leia go.

Rey spent most of the day working on the Resistance's ships again, and this time, it was slightly easier to remember to report to the galley for meals. She sat next to Leia while she ate. Leia gently chided her for not trying to expand her social circle on the Resistance base, especially seeing as one of the two people in Rey's "circle" was unconscious. Rey was still struggling with the idea of the extremely realistic dream she had experienced last night not being real; she kept expecting Leia to lean over and kiss her as a hello like she had seen other couples on the base doing. Now that we shared that dream, will that happen in real life? Rey wondered. Is there some kind of…of protocol among Force users for acting out shared dreams? She found herself paying excessive attention to Leia's hands and was grateful that Leia seemed too distracted to notice her blushing when she did so, thinking of some of the actions those hands had performed in the dream.

When night fell, Rey went to Leia's quarters, her heart racing with anticipation and nervousness. Her dream-self seemed to have known what to do in bed with a lover far better than she did. She didn't want to disappoint Leia.

Leia seemed distracted when she let Rey into her quarters, but she gave Rey a quick hug. Rey went to sit on the bed, her nervousness mounting. She watched Leia take out her daytime hairstyle and brush her beautiful hair to a gloss. Rey got up and went to Leia, shyly sifting her hands through the other woman's hair, which felt like liquid silk sliding over her fingers.

"Enjoying my hair?"

"Yes," Rey murmured. "So…last night…" She felt her cheeks growing hot. "Since you dreamed about me, I thought…"

Leia whirled on Rey, turning bright red from her collarbone all the way to the roots of her hair. "Oh, Maker, you sensed that? I'm so sorry. It must have been awful. Why didn't you wake me?"

Rey took a moment to process that and ended up responding to the part she found the most surprising. "Why do you say it must have been awful? I…enjoyed it. I didn't want it to stop."

Leia's blush deepened. "I didn't sense you sharing the dream."

"I only tried to…to say a few things here and there. I didn't want to interfere."

Leia shook her head. "Well, don't worry. Many Force-related dreams are prophetic, but happening to share a dream with someone doesn't mean it will come true."

"I was hoping it would," Rey whispered, reaching for Leia's hand.

Leia shied away. "Rey…we can't."

Rey's heart sank. "Why not?"

"How old are you?"

Rey had to think for a minute. When her family had abandoned her on Jakku, she had been so young that she was unable to conceptualize time very well. She had started counting the days as best she could when she realized that was something she ought to do, but still, she could really only give an educated guess at her age. "Nineteen."

Leia ran her hands briskly over her face. "Nineteen. I think I'm going to be sick."

"Why? What's wrong with my age?"

"The fact that I'm fifty-three."

Rey had heard practically every legend that existed about the Skywalker twins and had been aware that they were born in 19 BBY. "I knew that."

Leia wrapped her arms tightly around herself. "It's almost frightening how little you know. It's completely inappropriate for someone my age to be…involved with someone as young as you. I'm far too old for you. I understand you've been…deprived of physical contact, but if you're curious about sex, you should find someone your age."

"I don't want someone my age," Rey protested. "I want you."

Leia flinched.

"I want what happened in that dream to happen for real," Rey continued. "I trust you. I've never been interested in…in…sex…before. Or even kissing. But if it's like it was in that dream we shared, I want it to happen. I don't want anyone else."

Leia stood with her eyes closed, still holding herself tightly. Rey thought she saw her shaking. She stepped forward and tucked some of Leia's hair behind her ear. "Leia, please."

Slowly, Leia leaned forward until her forehead was resting against Rey's collarbone. Rey reached for her, tracing the curve of her back with one hand. Leia's hands came to rest on Rey's waist. "Rey…" Her voice was quiet and desperate.

Rey kissed her hair; Leia looked up at her solemnly. "If at any time you want to stop, you have to tell me. Understand?"

"Yes," Rey murmured, and kissed her. Before the dream, she had had no idea how to go about kissing someone, but now she felt like she had enough of an idea to try it. It didn't feel like it had in the dream; it was better. Leia's hands slid into her hair, caressing her scalp. Rey made an involuntary noise of pleasure, wrapping her arms around Leia. As long as she relaxed, kissing was fairly easy, if not as instinctive as she had hoped.

"I hope your neck isn't ticklish," Leia murmured.

"I don't think so."

Leia moved her mouth to Rey's neck, kissing her gently the way she had in the dream. "You're too tall," she murmured against Rey's skin.

In response, Rey took Leia's hands and led her to the bed. She lay down, pulling Leia with her. "Now you can reach," Rey whispered. Leia nestled her face against Rey's throat and kissed her again and again, occasionally taking bits of skin between her teeth. She kept her weight off of Rey, and Rey tried to wrap both her arms and legs around Leia to bring her closer.

"Rey, having someone on top of you is nice in theory, but it can get difficult to breathe," Leia murmured.

"I want you close to me," Rey protested.

Leia cautiously rested her weight on Rey's hips; Rey crossed her ankles behind Leia's back. "Is this okay?" Leia whispered.

"Yes." Rey noticed that there was significantly more talking than there had been in the dream, but that was fine; she liked it when Leia asked her things. She wrapped one hand around a hank of Leia's hair and tried to get the other hand under Leia's shirt. She fumbled uselessly for a moment and, frustrated, tried to pull it off, hungry to touch her lover's skin.

To her surprise, Leia pushed her hands away. "What's wrong?" said Rey.

Leia brushed some of Rey's hair back from your face. "I'd rather stay dressed."

"You were undressed in the dream," Rey pointed out.

"Maybe I looked better in the dream," said Leia with a short laugh. "Time hasn't been kind to me."

"I think you're beautiful!"

Leia hesitated. "Maybe I'll undress for you later."

Rey worked her hands under Leia's shirt and slid her palms over the warm, soft skin of her back. "I won't undress you, but I like touching you like this."

"Mmm…" Leia leaned over and kissed Rey. "I like it too."

Rey wanted Leia's hands on her bare skin too. "Will you take this off me?" she asked, indicating her shirt. She liked the idea of Leia undressing her.

"If you want me to."

"I do!"

Instead of lifting the shirt up like Rey expected, Leia slowly undid the buttons, pausing to stroke the newly exposed skin with her fingertips. She was gentle, and it felt exquisite. When she had reached the last button, she parted the fabric like a curtain as if she were revealing something precious. Rey trembled a little. "Oh, Leia…"

Leia ran her hands over Rey's sides and belly. "Too much?"

"Almost," Rey panted. The sensations were much more intense than they had been in the dream. "I want you to touch my breasts, but it…it might be too much."

"Soon," said Leia, leaning over to kiss Rey's throat and collarbones. Rey couldn't figure out whether she wanted to hold Leia tightly or keep exploring her back; she settled for digging her fingers into Leia's skin at the base of her spine. "You have a beautiful body," Leia whispered.

"Leia, c-can you try kissing my breasts now?"

"Certainly." Leia left a trail of kisses from Rey's neck down to the swell of her left breast. Rey whimpered as Leia lavished small kisses on her chest and cried out when she felt her lover's hot, soft mouth on one nipple. "May I?"

Rey thought back to the dream to try to figure out what Leia was asking to do. "Yes." The word dissolved into a moan as the tip of Leia's tongue traced circles around her nipple.

"How does that feel?"

"Keep going. Slowly. But keep going," Rey murmured.

Leia did, stroking the tip of Rey's breast with her tongue, occasionally pausing to kiss it. After a while, she took Rey's nipple into her mouth, careful not to use her teeth.

"Ohh." Rey's hands dug so hard into Leia's back that she would feel apologetic later. "Oh, I like that!"

Instead of replying, Leia gave Rey's face a backhanded caress, then moved her mouth to Rey's other breast. Rey was enjoying the experience immensely, but she was also impatient to get to certain other events from Leia's dream. "Touch me between my legs," Rey begged, squirming out of her pajama pants.

Leia laughed softly and acceded to Rey's request, lightly pressing her palm against Rey's core. "Are you ready? It certainly feels like you're ready."

"W-what does that mean?" Rey panted.

Leia smiled, but not in a mocking way. "It means I can feel how wet you are. Your body is aroused, so it's preparing itself for you to be penetrated in a way that's not painful."

"Oh." Rey thought about that. Leia's dream-self had told her that many women preferred not to be penetrated, but… "Could you put your fingers in me?"

Leia said, "Let's try one first," and Rey nodded. She sighed as she felt one of Leia's slim fingers slide into her to the hilt, crooking one knuckle and stroking her slowly.

"How does that feel?" Leia murmured.

Rey squirmed a little. "I like having you inside me, but it's…it's not the same…"

"Do you want me to try what we did in my dream?"

"Yes."

"All right." Leia withdrew her finger from Rey and began to gently rub the sensitive pearl of flesh between Rey's legs. Rey whined and tried to press herself harder against Leia's fingertips, but instead of being better than the dream, she couldn't feel much pleasure.

"Leia, it's not working."'

"I'm sorry," said Leia softly. "I must be a better lover in dreams than reality. Should I try using my mouth?"

Rey blushed. "You can do that? Wouldn't it taste bad?"

"Yes, I can do that, and I've been curious about it for a long time. It feels…awfully nice to receive."

Rey laid her head back. "You don't have to. I don't think it's your fault. I've never been interested in doing this in…in real life."

Leia thought about that. "I think I have an idea. What if I were feeling pleasure at the same time and you could sense it? Would that help?"

Rey took a deep breath. "I want to try. Would that be like the second thing we did in your dream?"

"Yes, we could do that."

"All right." Rey sat up and wrapped her arms around Leia, shyly nuzzling and kissing her shoulder. This was what she had been nervous about: giving Leia pleasure. What if she couldn't do it right? She pushed the thought aside and kissed the side of Leia's neck. "Could you lie down?"

Leia did, and Rey leaned over her, wondering how Leia had managed to skillfully kiss and touch her while not falling over. Rey tried to support herself with one arm and explore under Leia's shirt with one hand; Leia wrapped her legs around Rey's waist and pulled Rey flush against her. Rey moaned against Leia's shoulder as she felt their bodies press together, then moved her head slightly so she could kiss Leia's neck. Leia sighed and ran her hands through Rey's hair. "That feels nice."

"I'm glad," Rey whispered. She nuzzled at the collar of Leia's shirt. "I'd like to kiss your shoulders without this in the way."

Leia made a muffled groaning noise and undid the first few buttons on her pajama top. Rey hoped she would take it all the way off and hid her disappointment by burying her face in the curve of Leia's neck and kissing the warm skin of her throat and shoulder.

"Rey…" Leia took one of Rey's hands and guided it under the bothersome cloth of her shirt to one of her breasts. Rey make a little involuntary gasping noise at how incredibly delicate her skin felt. Trying to remember how she had done this in Leia's dream, she squeezed gently, stroking the nipple with her thumb and shivering as she felt it grow firm. (Was that a good thing?) She had hoped she could learn the contours of Leia's body like she would the workings of an unfamiliar ship, trying new things and observing the results, but Leia's warm, soft body was very unlike the cold metal of a ship.

Rey heard Leia burst out laughing, and she blushed as she realized she had articulated that last thought out loud. Leia sat up and hugged Rey tightly. "You're adorable," she said, kissing Rey's cheek. "Quite honestly, I'm glad you find me significantly different from a ship." She pressed her forehead to Rey's shoulder, still chuckling. "I'm sorry. It's been too long since I had a reason to laugh."

"It's all right," Rey said softly, kissing Leia's hair and hoping her blush would die down soon.

Leia sat up, having stopped laughing. "Shall we keep going?" Her voice was low and husky.

Rey's eyes swept over her lover. Her hair, slightly mussed, cascaded over her body, and her half-unbuttoned shirt hung tantalizingly off her shoulder. Rey thought she looked incredible. She slid a hand down Leia's chest. "Yes. Are you going to let me see you now?" She managed to get her hand under Leia's shirt, curling her palm and fingers around the fullness of one of her breasts.

Leia slumped against Rey. "Mmm…"

"You are beautiful, Leia," Rey whispered.

Leia made a frustrated-sounding noise in the back of her throat and wrestled her shirt off. Rey took both of Leia's breasts in her hands and carefully kneaded the soft flesh. Leia moaned. "Rey…"

"Am I doing this right?"

"Absolutely." Leia's head tilted back, eyes closed, and Rey leaned forward to kiss her exposed neck. It was a little difficult to coordinate playing with Leia's breasts and kissing her, but she managed. Rey fell into kind of a trance listening to Leia's rough breaths and occasional little moans, loving the feelings of pleasure she could sense from Leia. She was shaken out of her trance when Leia lay down on her back, pulling Rey with her. "Are you ready for more? Because I am."

Rey covered Leia's body with hers, closing her eyes to enjoy the sensation of so much of Leia's exposed skin against her own naked form. "Yes…but in the dream, I was lying down, so…"

Leia cupped her hands around the bony handles of Rey's hips. "You're so thin…I'm a little afraid of being on top of you. Are you not comfortable being on top?"

"I don't know if I can do it right," Rey confessed. "I don't want to…disappoint you."

Leia stroked Rey's face. "You've already done more for me tonight than I could have dreamed…well, except for that one actual dream."

Rey leaned over and kissed her. Leia's hands explored the lines of her back almost hungrily as she returned Rey's warm kisses. "Leia," Rey whispered between kisses, "you feel so good."

"Can you sense what I'm feeling?"

At first, Rey had been almost too distracted by her own nervousness and the novelty of the experience to focus on what she was sensing from Leia. But as she had grown more and more accustomed to the process of lovemaking, she was able to pay more attention to what Leia was experiencing. "Yes."

"Then I don't need to tell you, but I want to…you feel good too, Rey. So, so good." Leia gave Rey a small kiss. "I want you on top of me."

Rey trembled a little, and not just with nervousness. "Can you help me do it right?"

"Of course. Will you get up for a moment?"

Rey did. Leia situated herself so there was room for Rey's hips between her thighs. She took hold of Rey's waist and helped guide her into place. "Leia…"

"Put your weight on me. It's all right."

Biting her lower lip, Rey lowered herself onto Leia. She felt her lover's hands grip her tightly. She looked up at Leia, whose head was tilted back. "Ohh, Rey!" Her voice was a low moan. "Just like that."

Rey shivered. She could tell that she was putting pressure on exactly the right spot, the same place Leia had tried touching her earlier; she could feel pleasure practically radiating from Leia. She thought back to the dream and began to flex her hips slowly. A moan fled her lips as that same wonderful tension she remembered from the dream began to build inside her. "Ohhh, Leia…!"

"Oh, Maker, Rey, it's so good," Leia groaned.

Rey's mouth couldn't seem to form words. She leaned over slightly to place her hands solidly on the mattress, bracing herself so she didn't have to think about balancing. Her instincts seemed to have finally taken over; she wanted to watch Leia, but her head tilted back involuntarily, and loud, desperate cries escaped her mouth. Her hips rocked frantically.

"You're incredible, Rey," Leia panted, apparently not sharing Rey's loss for words. "You're so lovely and strong, and you feel so damn good…"

Rey could swear she felt Leia's pleasure crashing over her like waves. She wanted to tell Leia how amazing she felt, but the sensation building within her was so intense she felt as though she might explode, and she could think of nothing but the fact that she had never felt that way before.

Leia let out a ragged cry, her nails digging into Rey's skin. "Rey…!"

Rey managed to get a quick look at Leia arching off the mattress before euphoria overtook her. Her body shook so hard she almost wondered if something was wrong with her, and then she was lying, exhausted, collapsed over Leia.

Leia ran her hands through Rey's sweaty hair. "Thank you," she sighed. "Rey, you were fantastic. I can feel myself falling more in love with you by the second…even though I don't deserve you."

Rey dug through her ecstasy-scrambled brain for the right thing to say. "You deserve good things."

"The light is so strong within you…you're so pure, I can't help but want to be near you…" Leia ran her fingertips up and down Rey's spine.

Rey's eyes welled up with tears. "Leia, I'm…"

"Don't say you're 'no one'." Leia cut her off. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to see that in your mind. It was an accident. But since I did see it, I must tell you it isn't true. You are someone. And you are precious."

Rey blinked and she felt her tears begin to fall. "Thank you."

Leia gently eased Rey onto her side and used a corner of the sheet to wipe away her tears. She sat up to retrieve the riled bedclothes and cover Rey with them, then lay down facing Rey, their foreheads touching.

"How did I do?" Rey whispered. "Was it like you wanted?"

"Yes." Leia touched Rey's cheek. "But what is more important than that to me is that I got to make love with you. Even if it hadn't gone so well."

Rey moved so she could rest her head against Leia's chest. She closed her eyes for a moment to listen to the other woman's heartbeat. "I haven't heard that…expression very often."

"It's funny," Leia mused. "I used to think it was a foolish and overly sentimental term. But I feel like it might apply to us."

"I like it," Rey murmured.

"Will you sleep here?"

Rey kissed Leia at the spot where her collarbones met. "I'd love to."

Both of them quickly dropped into a deep sleep and slept through the night. Rey woke first and enjoyed lying close to Leia's sleeping body for a while before her lover stirred.

"Mmm…good morning, Rey." She leaned up and kissed Rey's forehead. "Thank you again for last night."

"I should thank you as well." Rey tried to kiss Leia, who turned away.

"Let me brush my teeth first, and then you can kiss me all you want."

Rey got dressed and waited impatiently while Leia brushed her teeth, hastily brushed her own, and then immediately set about kissing Leia all she wanted. They ended up on the bed again, tangled up in each other, pausing only for Leia to tell Rey that she was a very quick learner when it came to kissing.

"Rey," said Leia finally, sitting up, "I have my duties."

Rey sighed. "I want you to stay here and kiss me all day."

"Maybe I can kiss you later." Leia caressed Rey's cheek. "Actually…that's something we should discuss."

"What should we discuss?" Rey sat up and leaned her head against Leia's shoulder.

"Whether or not we want to hide our relationship. Relationships between members of the Resistance aren't technically forbidden, but public displays of affection while on duty are." Leia paused. "I suppose it shouldn't matter much to you; you will be gone soon." (Rey felt a sharp pang in her stomach at the thought of being separated from Leia.) "I'm the one who will have to deal with the…repercussions."

"Repercussions?"

"People talking, mostly. General Organa having taken a lover is going to be quite a popular topic of conversation, I'm sure." Leia paused. "Especially so soon after Han's death, and with someone so young."

"You're worried," said Rey softly. It was becoming easier and easier for her to sense Leia's feelings.

"I'm concerned it may reflect poorly on me. I am widely respected among the Resistance, but I know from my time as a senator how quickly a reputation can sour. It may very well look like I was so distraught at Han's death that I seduced a naïve young woman who didn't know any better." Leia closed her eyes.

Rey kissed her cheek. "That isn't what happened. I'm glad I was with you and that you were my first lover. I…I doubt I will want to take another lover after you."

Leia shook her head. "I'm not sure how to feel about that."

"I mean…I'm not interested in…making love. I only wanted it with you because I was able to find out what it would be like."

Leia wrapped her arms around Rey. "Part of me wishes you hadn't sensed that dream I had about you. And part of me is very, very glad that you did."

Rey moved her hands over the now-familiar curves of Leia's back. Leia sighed. Her hands made fists in the fabric of Rey's shirt. "I could never regret last night," said Rey in a low voice.

"Everything seems so much easier from here," Leia murmured.

"'From here'?"

Leia kissed the line of Rey's jaw. "From here…with you. With you holding me." Leia's voice trembled.

Rey felt a surge of affection for her new lover. She shivered a little as she sensed the same from Leia. "Oh, Leia…" She leaned over to kiss Leia's throat, and her hands found the zipper on Leia's military-issue jumpsuit and unzipped it to the low of her back. She could sense Leia thinking yes, please, more so intently that she almost wasn't certain whether the thought was Leia's or hers. In any case, it was hers now.

Leia kissed her hard and lay back down on the bed. "I'm going to be late." Her eyelids fluttered as Rey undressed her. "Well…they can get along without me for one morning."


A/N: Am I done writing Rey/Leia? Who knows. I may never be done writing this damn ship.