How are Lisbon and Jane dealing with the events of the season 1 finale? Did Lisbon's words affect Jane and how does she deal with his reaction? Don't read if you haven't seen the season 1 finale.

This one takes place right after the season 1 finale „Red John's footsteps". I still don't own the mentalist, although I'd love to.

Proved wrong

"Can't you see there are people who care about you, who need you? You're being selfish and childish and I want you to stop it."

"I wish that I/you could, but there are some things you can't fix. You needn't be angry, it's just the way of the world."

His words kept ringing in her head over and over again and they were still painful to hear. Without planning it she had finally told him how she felt about him, what his companionship or even friendship meant to her, and his answer had come like a slap in her face. Telling him how much she cared hadn't come easy to her. She didn't want him to know she was sure he would use it against her one day. And up to that moment she hadn't even been willing to admit to herself how close they had gotten the last few months. But today after hearing him say how he didn't care if he lived or died, she came to realise how colse they had grown lately and that she didn't want to lose him.

His answer to her words hurt and made her sad, not as much for her sake as for his, as they showed openly how broken he really was. It didn't happen very often that he let his mask completely down and showed to her how he really felt inside, but this had been one of those rare occasions and it had broken her heart to see him this way. He had carefully chosen his words so he wouldn't hurt her too much, but she knew him too well to not be able to read between the lines. What he was actually telling her was that her love and affection were wasted on him, that she should stop caring for him because he was a lost case who couldn't be saved, that he didn't care about anything but catching Red John and if she cared too much about him, she would only get hurt in the end as there was no happy ending for him.

After he told her those painful words she had made a weak attempt to show him that he was wrong, that there actually were other tings he cared about, for example that they had saved that girl, Maya. She could see that he was really sorry for hurting her and in an attempt to cheer her up, he had tried to sound cheerful about Maya being safed, but she could see through his not very well displayed mask and knew that at the moment all he could think about was Red John getting away again.

Soon after they had left the building, the impossible had happened: Patrick Jane had shot Lt. Hardy to safe her life. In a second he had destroyed the only link to Red John he had left in order to safe her life. He chose her life over catching Red John! How could he do that if all he cared about was catching Red John. She felt really bad for him and was angry with herself. She had been too involved taking care of Maya and trying to forget the words he had told her just a few minutes ago and did not keep an eye on Hardy. It was her negligence that had made Jane do the unthinkable. On the other hand, if she had been more careful and shot Hardy, Jane would probalbly never forgive her. But if she had been careful enough, Hardy would not have had to be shot in the first place. Now she was really scared that Jane was going to hold that against her. He had done the shooting instinctively, without second thought. She was sure that if he had had the time to think over his actions, he would not have saved her, because all he cared about was catching Red John, he had made that very clear to her earlier that day . . .

It was late and she needed to get some rest, although she didn't know how to get to sleep with Lt. Hardy on her conscience. Was Jane ever going to trust her again after she failed him twice today? Was it possible that one day he was going to appreciate their friendship as much as she did? Lots of questions, no answers. She had to head home . . .

When she came out of her office, Patrick Jane was sitting on his couch, lost in thoughts. She didn't know how to handle him today after everything that happened. She was feeling embarrassed for telling him her feelings and I'm because she'd failed him twice today by appearing on the crime scene too early and not having an eye on Lt. Hardy. But he looked so lost sitting alone in the dark on his couch, she just couldn't bear the thought of him being so lonely tonight. So she gathered all her courage and walked over to the couch, sitting down close beside him, their shoulders almost touching. As he looked up at her she could see the pain and dispair in his eyes, but as they looked into each other's eyes she can also see that his eyes were full of unconcealed affection.

"You ok?" he asked her, leaning just a slight bit to her side to close the distance between their shoulders.

"Not really, no. You?" She could see a tiny bit of the sparkle she loved so much return to his eyes when he didn't answer her last question.

"I thought you would be a little bit more cheerful the first time you prove me wrong . . ."

"I have proved you wrong befo- . . . . What are you talking about?" His eyes had become serious again and she could tell that for once he was being completely honest with her when he answered with such a low voice I she could hardly hear him:

"I thought I didn't care about anything than catching Red John. But you proved me wrong today. I do care about you, our friendship, and you mean more to me than I ever would have admitted to you or myself if the things today had turned out differently. And just so you know: As far as killing Hardy is concerned, I have no regrets. I would do the same again . . ."

Having said that, he tenderly kissed her cheek and then walked away, leaving her some privacy for the tears of joy and relieve that burnt in her eyes but she never would have wanted him to see.


Reviews of course are appreciated because I suppose it's not going to be my last fanfiction and I'd love to improve.