"Padfoot!" James Potter cried brokenly, racing through the corridors of Hogwarts after Sirius. Despite the niggling doubts he'd been having about where Sirius' loyalties lay lately the dog animagus meant a lot to him and he didn't want their friendship to end this way. "Please wait! Talk to me!"

Surprisingly, considering what he'd just been put through and accused of by the Order of the Phoenix, people who he'd thought were his friends, Sirius did stop but it was only to sneer at James, his so-called best friend, his brother incredulously. "What is there to talk about? I think that everything that needs to be said already has been."

"I'm sorry," James said, aware of how woefully inadequate the words were. Unfortunately he couldn't think of any other way to justify his actions. "I…….."

"I don't want to hear it, Potter," Sirius spat, at that moment outwardly looking very much like a member of the cold hearted House of Black from which he had been born but internally a jumble of mixed emotions. As he stalked out of the castle doors and down the front steps he wondered how things had gotten this bad. Right from the moment he'd been sorted into Gryffindor, instead of Slytherin where everyone had expected him to go, there had been whispers about his loyalties but he'd never expected to hear it from his best friend, who in turn had turned the entire Order of the Phoenix against him. "Just stay the hell away from me or I really might live up to my so-called reputation."

Hurrying after his friend into the Hogwarts courtyard where they'd spent so many good times together in the past James watched as Sirius withdrew a miniaturised motorcycle from his pocket and returned it to its proper, rideable, size with a flick of his wand. "Padfoot, please stay!" he begged, guessing what Sirius was about to do.

Sirius glared at James coldly. If things had gotten so bad between them that James could look him in the eye and accuse him of being a deatheater, of being the spy in the Order of the Phoenix then they definitely weren't as close as he'd thought they were and apparently their ten solid years of friendship had meant absolutely nothing. "I have nothing to stay for," he said tonelessly, feeling a pang of loss as he realised that once again he was alone in the world. When he was fifteen and had run away from home he'd really thought that he'd freed himself from the tarnished reputation of the practically dark House of Black and had learned what it was like to be loved and to love – actually it had been James' parents, Christopher and Phillipa who had taught him that when they'd taken him in – but apparently none of that had been real either.

James watched helplessly as Sirius swung a leg over the side of his bike and pulled a helmet on. He'd hoped that Padfoot would understand that he was only doing this to ensure the absolute safety of his wife Lily and their ten month old son Harry but he'd forgotten a crucial point. After everything that had happened over the past few years he and Moony were the only real family that Padfoot had left and Padfoot was very big about family – his own mother and father had seen to that.

With Albus and Alastor holding him at wand point Sirius had testified under veritsereum that he wasn't a deatheater and had never betrayed the Order of the Phoenix but then Remus had pointed out that when they were eighteen the marauders had experimented with making themselves immune to veritsereum just in case they were ever kidnapped by the deatheaters. None of the foursome was sure how far any of the others had gotten with the experiment which had thrown a spanner into the works as far as confirming Sirius' innocence or guilt went. In the end Albus had decided that Sirius could stay if he would consent to having tracking charms placed on him and took an unbreakable vow never to discuss Order of the Phoenix business with non-members but at that point Padfoot had told them all where to go and stormed out of the meeting that was being held in Albus' office.

Now, James berated himself for not realising that Padfoot would never go for that. Sirius had worked hard all through his Hogwarts years to shake off the reputation of the House of Black and would have taken Albus' demands as a sign that all that had been for naught. The veritsereum interrogation hadn't produced any definitive results so once again, if he stayed, Sirius would be plagued by the whispers and accusations that had been common place during his Hogwarts years, something that James knew had cut his friend deeply.

Many Order members had taken Sirius' resistance to the interrogation as a sign of his guilt and had been why Lily had demanded that he make Remus, not Sirius, their secret keeper. James had acquiesced to his wife's wishes but now he was in two minds about Padfoot's guilt. Sure Sirius had done some pretty suspicious things lately and had been conspicuously absent after several key Order meetings but if the look of utter betrayal the dog animagus was giving off now was anything to go by then he may have made a pretty awful mistake, one that might cost him his brother. He shook his head wearily, jerking himself out of his morose thoughts as he realised that Padfoot was actually talking to him.

"Why?" Sirius demanded in a choked voice. "Why, after everything that happened would you even ask me that?"

"Well….Your family," James muttered uncomfortably before realising a second too late when an even more horrified expression crossed Sirius' face that it had been the absolute wrong thing to say. It had been absolutely gut wrenching to accuse his brother of going dark and he couldn't even begin to put that into words so he'd just gone with the simplest explanation he had available to him, even though it may just have ensured that Sirius never heard him out even after he calmed down. "Padfoot……"

Sirius snorted. Never mind the fact that most of the Blacks were either dead or disowned now or that ever since his Uncle Alphard had died about three years go he had controlled the House of Black, everything that was wrong with his life would always come back to the fact that his surname was Black. He swallowed deeply, trying to think of something to say.

"I'm sorry," James said, making a last ditch attempt at getting his friend to stay.

Sirius just stared at James expressionlessly for a second before revving the engine of his bike. "I would have died for you, James," he murmured sincerely, so quietly that James almost didn't catch what he said over the roar of the engine of the motorbike Sirius had brought himself as a Hogwarts graduation present.

James too tried to think of something to say as the last of his doubts about Sirius' loyalties evaporated and the weight of the mistake he'd made began to bear down on him. Considering the many issues that Sirius had surrounding family what he'd done tonight may well have cost James the man that he'd considered his brother for ten years now. Sadly, before he could think of something to say Padfoot pulled the visor of his helmet down, over his face, revved the bike's engine one more time and sped away into the dark night sky.

Little did James know that was the last he would be seeing of Sirius for quite a while.