It has been four weeks since the twins left school to see their mom. Penelope tried to reach Josie, but she was not picking up, her social media was dead and she tried to stay off the grid as much as it was possible. After some time Penelope just gave up. She realized that Josie will not pick up the phone and call back, so she just backed off. They had to come back some day… She knew that. School was boring without seeing Josie and teasing Lizzie. She couldn't wait for them to come back and somehow restore the balance that she was used to... She spent most of her time with Hope and MG, bit her mind would always wonder to Josie and what she was doing wherever she was.

It was finally Friday evening and many students were going to the party in the woods. She was not really in the mood. She lied to her friends that she has horrible headache and she stayed in her room. She took time with her shower and getting ready for bed. She loved the silence of their floor when it was empty. Here or there you could hear someone walk by her door or call someone's name, but it was quiet because some were at the party and some were spending weekend at home. She just got few new books when she was out in the town with Hope and MG and now was the right time to start one of them. She put on her nightgown and got into bed. She picked up her glasses and the book and got under covers. They were clean, they smelled like her favorite detergent and they were fluffy, just as she loved them. She was deep in the book when she heard her room door slam. She lifted her gaze from the book and found Josie standing in her room. She looked different, but it was still Josie. Her hair was darker, her make up also and she had a bit empty look. Penelope put down her book and just looked at the other girl.

''Josie?''

Josie locked the door and got on Penelope's bed.

''When did you come back? How are you? What happened during the trip? I called and texted, but you never called or texted back. I was worried…''

Josie put her finger on Penelope's lips. Penelope stopped talking and Josie kissed her. At first Penelope was taken back by the actions of the other girl. Josie moved away from her a bit confused.

''Are you with someone?''

''No…''

''Good…''

She kissed Penelope again and tried to lower her on the bed.

''Josie what are you doing?''

''What I need… What I want…''

''Are you sure?''

Josie was kissing her neck and moving straps of Penelope's nightgown down her shoulders.

'' You always said I don't do what I don't cater to my needs… Now I am doing it…''

''Josie…''

''Are you going to be the one to stop me? I am finally doing what you wanted me to do.''

Penelope didn't say a word. She just moved hair from Josie's face and pulled her on top of her. If that was what Josie needed, she would not deny her. Sex with Josie was different than before. Now she was insisting of being in charge. She was the one insisting on complete control and Penelope let her do what she wanted. She loved Josie too much to give up on her. She realized that this was Josie's outlet for feeling so powerless when it comes to their mom, being buried alive, Lizzie's outbursts… This was the only chance she had to be in control and Penelope had no wish to take it away from her. It was four in the morning when Josie was getting dressed to leave Penelope's room. They didn't talk… There was some talking, but it was more instructions on how to do things in bed and some dirty talk that was a new thing for them.

''Will you talk to me?''

''Talk is overrated…''

Josie zipped her boots and got up from the bed. She gave Penelope a peck and smiled.

''This never happened. We are not talking about this or anything else.''

She opened the door and left the room. Penelope stayed in bed a bit surprised. She had no idea what happened. What happened to Josie and the person she used to love very much?

When Josie came back to the room, Lizzie was sound asleep. For the first time she didn't care that her sister never really noticed that she was not there. In last month or so, she was really grateful for Lizzie's self-adoration and inability to see anyone else. But now she had another problem. She had to find a way to stay away from Penelope. She knew and noticed things. She knew there was something bothering her. Being with Penelope was…it was all she wanted since they broke up. She was surprised that Penelope let her be the one in charge. She never believed she would see the day when Penelope Park would let anyone else take charge in bed. But she also believed she would never see the day that Penelope Park cares for her, and she did…On the night of the party…now in bed…election…food being left in front of her door when she fought with Lizzie and didn't want to leave the room…all the times she barely noticed that it was actually Penelope. Some of the things Penelope did she figured them out alone. But for some of them she had to have Hope and MG tell her. She refused to believe that Penelope would actually do something like that. She didn't believe Penelope really cared. It was easier to believe it was just an act… Even, now she had her doubts and denials. Even with all the roughness Josie expressed, she only got tenderness and comfort from Penelope. And she hated it! She hated how the other girl knew her and read her well. She told herself that she will not do that again and that going to Penelope was a moment of weakness.

Lizzie woke her up around nine to get ready for breakfast .They got dressed and went down. Many people were surprised they were back and even more surprised by Josie's new look. She did look a bit goth and scary like that, but there were some people who found it hot. Penelope showed up a bit later and she went for her food not really paying attention to the fuss that the return of the twins brought. Josie was a bit hurt by Penelope's action….or lack of it. She just took her seat and ate her food, ignoring existence of the twins. After she was done with eating she went to the cottage in the forest and got her book out of the bag. Josie showed up soon after. Penelope packed her book and waited for Josie to say something. She just left her bag on the table and got to Penelope. She pulled her into kiss and started working on her buttons.

''You ignored me during the breakfast…''

She was kissing Penelope's neck and going lower.

''You said we are not talking and the night before never happened. I just did what you wanted.''

''You never do what I say...or want.''

Penelope smirked at that comment.

''It's not really true… I do what you want…but I don't always do what you say.''

''You see… I was right.''

''I'm sorry. I believed this time you really wanted me to listen.''

''You were wrong…''

''Ok…''

''Josie?''

''No talking Penelope…''

''Just one question…''

Josie was frustrated, but she let her have that one question…She simply didn't want to talk about Europe or what happened before they left. She didn't want to relive the memory of being buried was a familiar smirk on Penelope's face.

''Where do you want to do it? This place has many inspiring places…''

''Bed?''

''Your wish is my command.''

She lifted Josie and she put her legs around Penelope and she carried her to the bed. This time it happened in a much more familiar way. Penelope was the one in charge, but Josie tried to fight for the dominance few times. But this time Penelope was the one who kept her decision to be in charge very firm. After the power struggle she lost, she had to let Penelope have her way with her. She didn't regret it, but she feared that it would make her facade of new strength and closing off disrupted. They spent a few hours in bed. When they were not having sex, they were just looking at one another. Josie didn't let herself cuddle with Penelope or anything. She was on her side, opposite Penelope and just watching the other girl. Penelope was on her side doing the same. She wanted to touch Josie…to hold her…but she was afraid that it would ruin this…whatever was happening with them. She was surprised when Josei went for the kiss and positioned herself on top of her.

''We will miss lunch and Lizzie will be looking for you.''

''I don't care… I think that lunch is overrated… and there are better things to do.''

Now it was Josie's turn to take things into her own hands and have her way with Penelope. They established that as a rule. They hardly spoke at school and then they would spend a night together having sex and talking very little. In following two months their arrangement didn't change. Lizzie hardly ever noticed that Josie was not there. Hope and MG were worried about her and trying to get Penelope to talk to her and Penelope tried to avoid any topic that had to do with her, Josie and any form of conversation about how she felt and what happened.. She kept repeating that she will talk when she is ready to. She didn't let Hope and MG lecture her about Josie and what she could do. She knew she had to give her space if she ever wanted her to open up.

Josie was following Penelope because she wanted to have make out session in the empty classroom. She didn't expect MG and Hope to pull Penelope into classroom and question her. She was listening in on their conversation.

''How can you just ignore this behavior?''

''What am I supposed to do? I can't force her to talk about it… I can't make her open up. We all know her enough to know that she is not going to open up until she is ready. MAYBE she doesn't want to talk to any of us? Maybe she will talk to Emma when she is ready…Or maybe she will pick some other random person.''

''You can't say this is normal.''

''It's not normal… She will never be normal Hope. She was buried alive by her mother. She will never be normal. It will always be something she is marked with. And it's up to us to think about what we can do for her.''

''What are you doing for her? She can't keep it all bottled up. She will blow up at some point.''

''I am doing what she needs me to do…''

MG was confused and Hope was silent.

''You are….?''

He wanted to know how she was helping Josie. Maybe he could help too. He wanted to know if there was something he could do for her.

''What?''

''Talking?''

'' Talking is not really a word… We are… hm… not really talking…We are…more like spending time together…''

MG was even more confused. And Hope understood. Of course Penelope and Josei were having sex all this time.

''Doing what? If you don't talk…"

Both girls gave him a look.

''Oh…OHHHHH….''

Hope smirked… Josie was embarrassed. She wished Penelope didn't tell them about them. Now they will look at her again as she is broken or something else.

''At least she has some outlet…''

Penelope smirked back at her.

''Ok, now we know she will not blow up at us in the dining hall or any other place. Knowing you Park, she is well taken care of.''

''Can we not talk about it?''

'"Why? Since when are you shy?''

''I am not. But this is Josie we are talking about and I am not talking about our sex life with two of you.''

MG smiled at how protective Penelope was over Josei. Josie was glad she didn't give them details. She knew Penelope had to tell them. If she didn't they would kill her with accusations that she didn't care.

After classes were over Penelope overheard Josie and Lizzie arguing over something. Lizzie was being her usual bitchy self and Josie stood up for herself, but still held back with what she wanted to say. Penelope saw it on her face that she had much more to say. She looked very angry. She passed Lizzie and went to the lockers. Penelope was putting her things in. She just looked at Penelope and said in a very low voice.

''Your room at eight?''

''Sure... Josie, Tim's party is tonight in the woods.''

''I know… And no one will pay attention to where we are.''

''Ok, mastermind.''

''See you then…''

''Make sure you bring snacks Saltzman.''

''Fine!''

They were in Penelope's room. Josie spent the night there and it was the first time she didn't try to sneak out or leave Penelope without a word. She was awake and her back was turned to Penelope. Both girls knew the other one was awake and pretended that the silence didn't bother them.

''What happened to you Josie? What brought this change? I promise… Whatever you say will stay in this room and I will not judge you… Even if it includes some crazy Lizzie story… I promise… I will listen and be there… No judgement…''

Josie covered herself with a sheet and turned to Penelope.

''We are twins…''

Penelope just rolled her eyes. She heard that line so many times.

''Don't do that… Let me finish…You asked…''

''Ok… I am listening…''

''We have a connection… And by that I mean she knew I was buried alive…and she did nothing… She didn't move a finger to find me…''

''What?''

''She knew…''

''How does that work? I'm sorry. I am the only child and I have no idea how twins are wired.''

''We were in London… Mom and Lizzie were out and I stayed at home because I was not really felling ok. They were coming back and mom stayed to pick up some takeout for me and Lizzie and Lizzie was coming back home. She got stuck in the elevator and I felt all she did… All that fear of being closed in a space that is like casket. He fears of closed spaces, lack of air…. Almost everything I felt when I was buried alive.''

Penelope finally understood and now she was even more angry at Lizzie.

''I called mom… I told her that something happened… I found someone to help with the elevator and to try to get Lizzie out. I knew she was in trouble and I did something. She did nothing.''

There were tears forming in her eyes. Penelope was silent, but she took her hand and laced their fingers together. She was finally opening up and Penelope now knew what was bothering Josie…

'' You, Hope and MG found me… You had no reason to look for me… No one noticed I was not there.''

''I did… I looked for you…until I found MG and Hope told us what happened.''

''You did?''

''I did… ''

Josie lifted her gaze to face Penelope. She moved hair from Josie's face.

''I looked for you… I felt bad how we left things in your room and I wanted to apologize. I know how much she means to you and that sometimes I don't really get it. I wish you would pay more attention to what you want and need, but that's me. Those are my wishes and I had no right to tell you any of that…''

Penelope started crying.

''And when Hope said you were buried alive… I felt like someone kicked me in the gut. I couldn't breathe.''

Josie wiped her tears away.

''I would have dug up that cemetery with my bare hands to find you Josie.''

''Why?''

It was pretty much now or never for Penelope.

''Because I love you Josei… I am in love with you…I never stopped loving you… ''

Josie was taken back by this answer. She didn't expect Penelope to say the words. She knew there were some feelings there, but had no idea Penelope would be that direct.

''Why?''

''Because of all that you are… Even because of the things that drive me crazy. You are the best thing that ever happened to me…''

''And you left me.''

''I didn't leave because I didn't love you. I left because you didn't love yourself.''

Josie was confused by this answer. She didn't see it coming.

''I don't get it.''

''I broke up with you…''

''When I told you Lizzie was sad and I had to stay with her. You had something planed for us. You planed the date for us…and I asked if we could postpone.''

''It was not just some date…''

Penelope lifter her gaze from her lap. Josie noticed her eyes were wet.

''… it was our anniversary Josie… I had that date planed for over a month and I spent most of the money I saved on everything. It was supposed to be a perfect night…Instead it ended with me braking things off because I grew tired from watching you throw your own happiness aside for her. She was ok the next morning and she didn't even bother to ask how you were. And I am sure she made our brake up about herself…not you…not me…not us….It's all about Lizzie…all the time.''

Now Josie felt like shit. She just sat and looked at crying Penelope. She was starting to cry too. She threw herself into Penelope's arms and sobbed. Penelope had no idea how to calm her down. She was not even sure if she should try to stop her from crying. That night Josie cried herself to sleep and Penelope held her. She held her even when her arm died and felt numb…when her entire body hurt form the position they were in…Penelope held her because she knew Josie needed her. Maybe she was the selfish one when it comes to other things, but when it comes to Josie; she will always be the selfless one.

She hoped Josie would finish her story. Penelope had guesses how the story ends, and what made her shut down…but she had to have Josie say the words and make herself feel better.