Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter, or in fact any of the Harry Potter verse. Would I be writing this shizz if I did? Probably! But that's beside the point.
Warning- Sweaaaring! And so freaking fluffy. Gah, I'm choking on it. Cough cough.
This is part of a threequel. And, it's all dialogue. And slashy. So, yeah, lots of fun! :)
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"Mr Malfoy! Is it true that your family have disowned you?"
"According to our sources, is it true you are marrying the Boy-Who-Lived-Twice for his money?"
"Now, gentlemen, I have asked you nicely, do not make me ask you to leave again."
"Mr Malfoy, an anonymous owl told us of your plan to torture and maim the BWLT-"
"Malfoy, can you confirm that Mr Potter was attacked by none other than Ron Weasley himself?"
"If you do not move away from this door in thirty seconds I will be forced to take action."
"We will give you an astounding deal on an interview, just a quick chat with our editor, Martha Hanley-"
"Mr Malfoy, is it true that your father attacked Mr Potter with a wet tea-towel?"
"A Jonah Boggins gave an eye-witness account of you dancing around a blue flame dressed as a bumblebee-"
"WILL YOU JUST FUCK OFF?"
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MALFOY EXPLODES! By Ray Sternson
Shock horror in Ottery St. Catchpole this morning as none other than Ex-Death Eater Draco Malfoy shouted and threatened esteemed workers of The Daily Prophet and other newspaper employees. The marked Malfoy was furious and terrifying, according to eyewitness Dorothy Pootin. "The man was mad," she states while trembling over her cup of Earl Grey. "Absolutely barking. He just came at us, wand in hand, and started swearing and threatening and god knows what else. He was loony."
Malfoy was of course in Ottery St. Catchpole to look after his partner, Harry Potter (Order of Merlin, first class), but is he really 'caring' for him? We of course know nothing about his 'illness', the BWLT having been rushed to St. Mungo's twice, the first occasion being two months ago and the second only a few days previous- why all of the secrecy? Yendel Martin, a Healing Assistant on Mr Potter's ward tells us more. "The man (Malfoy) was very secretive. As soon as he brought the Chosen One in he was straight back out again doing I don't know what. And they didn't stay long. Mr Potter wasn't looking very well, not well indeed, but Malfoy saw fit to take him home. Very fishy indeed if you ask me, very fishy indeed."
A statement issued by close friend of the BWLT, Hermione Granger (Order of Merlin, second class), told us of Mr Potter's declining health and how herself and other notable Healers were working on a cure for his mystery illness, and we can only hope that she has found one. But this reporter think that maybe they shouldn't be looking for a cure- but a suspect.
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"What a load of fucking bullshit!"
"It is the Daily Prophet. And that man was Skeeter's apprentice. That explains it by itself."
"I'm terrifying? Barking? What am I, a fucking dog?"
"Well, you do like a bit of-"
"Shut it, you dirty pervert. How aren't you pissed off by this?"
"Years of being hounded by the press has kind of made me immune. And besides, they never write anything bad about me since the whole killing Voldemort thing."
"I should try that sometime."
"Yes please, Draco, do kill a maniac driven on massacring innocent people."
"Nah, I won't. Too much effort. Can't I just save a few puppies and be done with it?"
"No, probably not. The newspapers will just twist it and say you tried to kill them on purpose to make you look like the good guy. So then they'll slander you for trying to kill puppies."
"But I wouldn't be trying to kill the puppies! I would be pretending to. There is a difference."
"You aren't seriously considering this."
"No. Yes. Maybe."
"You are seriously twisted."
"Would you have me any other way?"
"No. Probably not."
"..."
"..."
"Harry?"
"Yes?"
"You are alright now, aren't you? You're not in any pain."
"No, thank Merlin. That potion was a life saver."
"Literally."
"Hmm... yes."
"..."
"Did you ever get round to... you know... sorting out my stuff?"
"...You're not asking me this now."
"Why not?"
"Because you are getting better? Because I refuse to think about what sorting out your things would mean?"
"Ah. Me not being able to sort out my stuff."
"..."
"I would want you to, you know. Sort out my stuff. If anything did happen."
"Right."
"Because, well... you are the only one who I would really want to be looking through my things."
"Not even Hermione or Weasley?"
"Well, I would want them to in a completely different way."
"Once again, you have all the clarity of a Hufflepuff."
"Huh?"
"I don't know what you mean, Harry."
"Right. Well. I was just saying, that if anything were to happen to me, you would be the one who I would... you know... trust with it. Not that me dying is probable in the near future, but if it were, I'd, you know... leave it all to you."
"I'm sorry, what was that last bit?"
"Oh. Um. Just... I've kind of put you in my will."
"Your... will."
"Yeah."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"So... that's why your lawyer was here last week?"
"Yeah."
"..."
"..."
"Why?"
"Huh?"
"Why, Harry? Why me? Why not Hermione, or Ron, or Teddy... or anyone?"
"You were the one... you were the one who was there. You were the one who held me, you were the one who washed me, you looked after me, and you dealt with your father's court case and the research into the curse. You did everything. You were like fucking superman."
"Who's superman?"
"A muggle superhero."
"So you're calling me a superhero."
"You're my superhero."
"..."
"That was cheesy, wasn't it."
"I think I'll nickname you Stilton."
"Isn't that the one that stinks?"
"Yeah, take a hint, Potter."
"Shut up."
"..."
"I haven't said thank you yet."
"I know."
"Thank you."
"No problem."
"Oh, Draco, it was. It was a fucking colossal problem."
"..."
"..."
"But your will?"
"Yeah?"
"I can't... I mean, it's lovely and all, but-"
"But what? I can't trust you? Someone else deserves it?"
"Well, no."
"Exactly. I can't think of anyone else in the world that I trust more than you. Yes, including Ron and Hermione. I love you, Draco. And the past couple of months have proved to me how much of a brilliant person you are, and how beautiful you are, and how fucking awesome you are- Are you blushing?"
"No!"
"You are! Show me!"
"I'm not blushing!"
"You are!"
"I'm not!"
"So help me, if you don't let me see I will pin you to the- Oh."
"What? Thinking about how stupid I must look?"
"No. I was just thinking how cute you were, actually."
"Fuck you."
"Gladly."
"I am not fucking cute."
"You really are."
"Stop grinning at me!"
"No. I refuse."
"You are so fucking smug, do you know that?"
"Oh, hello pot, my name is kettle."
"Ha ha. You are so funny."
"I try."
"..."
"Are you planning to let go any time soon?"
"No. I'm going to hold you like this forever."
"That's a shame, I was just going to get the steak from Mrs Weasley but fine-"
"Wait, what? Steak?"
"Happy six-days-late birthday!"
"Are you fucking kidding? I can eat solid food?"
"And Mrs. Weasley made you another cake especially for today, because you couldn't eat it on your actual birthday."
"Sweet Merlin, best day ever!"
"You are such a child."
"I know. It's so much fun."
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Three years later.
"No. No, no, no, no, no."
"Come on!"
"No."
"Please?"
"The last time I danced formally and with everyone watching was at the Yule Ball, and I made a promise to myself to never dance again."
"Promises are made to be broken."
"No."
"But the wedding couple always have the first dance!"
"Not this wedding couple."
"But it's tradition!"
"You seem to forget you're marrying a gay man."
"That's no excuse for not doing it properly."
"Draco, no."
"Why are you so stubborn?"
"Well hello, pot! I haven't seen you in a while..."
"You know that joke is so old, right."
"So totally old."
"Harry, please?"
"No."
"You are enjoying the fact that I'm begging, aren't you?"
"Oh, yes. Especially as I'm the only one you do it for."
"..."
"Stop looking at me like that."
"Like what?"
"All puppy eyes and Malfoy charm! Stop it!"
"Come on... It'll be fun!"
"Dancing isn't fun."
"With me it is."
"I doubt it."
"Harry."
"..."
"Right, get up."
"What?"
"Get out of that armchair, and stand up."
"Why?"
"Because we are dancing. Right here."
"There's no music."
"Now there is."
"Oh. What's this?"
"The Script."
"Oh."
"You don't know who they are, do you."
"Nope."
"..."
"..."
"So... no?"
"Draco..."
"You won't look stupid, you know."
"I'm not worried about looking stupid."
"Really."
"I'm not! I just... you're so good at this. I see you dancing with Hermione and Ginny at parties and you just look so... elegant. Like you've been doing it all your life. I can't do that."
"Oh, Harry..."
"Here is fine. When it's just me, and you, and our living room, I'm fine. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. But in front of everyone... no. I can't do that."
"..."
"..."
"I've got a plan."
"That never bodes well."
"Shut up. We will dance at our wedding- No, shut up! We will dance at our wedding."
"That's hardly a plan."
"Look into my eyes."
"..."
"When we dance- and we will dance- you just look into my eyes and ignore everyone else. You just concentrate on me."
"I do love looking into your eyes, but that's not going to work."
"Just trust me."
"..."
"Harry. You'll be fine. I'll look after you. Okay?"
"...Okay."
"I love you."
"I love you too, Draco."
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The End.
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Btw- The song that Harry and Draco are dancing to is I'm Yours by The Script. Hellz yeah!
WHOOO! Finally finished my 'lil threequel! Thanks to the peeps that reviewed, you are AWESOME, thanks to Zoball who gave me advice and shizz- School buddy!
And NO THANK YOU TO JazFoster BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T FREAKING READ IT WHEN I ASKED HER TO. I kid. I don't hate you. I Lub U. But read my shit, okay?
You know, you are really awesome if you've read my stuff, so thank you! :3
Pssst. I'm not going to do another one. I think that this last story kinda summed up things quite nicely. If you don't like it, GO AWAY.
Btw- again- I'll maybe write some other stuff. Not dialogue stuff. You never know! Whhhhooooooo... *wiggles fingers*
