It wasn't even morning in New York when the shrill ring of Tony's phone alerted him to the persistent caller on the end. He woke groggily, stretching and wincing as he pulled on new injuries from being thrown into a bus the day before as the person next to her clambered out of bed, leaving the smell of delicious chicken which made Tony's mouth water, the saliva pouiring over the bed like a waterfall. Pepper screamed and ran, but Shia La Tony chased her, shouting "Return to me my delicious chicken friend, and let me feast opn your mouth-watering delicious flesh!"
Pepper slipped on the saliva on the floor and fell over, breaking both her legs and looking like a fish that was a woman. "Delicious!" Tony cried, leaping on top of her and, and he ripped a sheet off the bed and used it as a napklin, tucvking it into the top of shirt. He pulled a poker out of the fireplace and used it as a fork, speaing some of Pepper's delicious bosy on it and eating, savouring the chicken-y goodness. "Yummpy! " he said, and continued to gobble on her, poccasionally sprinklinh herbs and spicey spices on her, which made Peppe sad.

She was too delicious for Tpmy to car about her pain.

When he'd finished, Tony looked down at her body in horro., "Oh Pepper!" he cried, flinging his arms around her and beating his breast. He ripped his hair and rolled in manure. "I'm sorry I ate you but ther smell drobe me insane! I love you! I love you and your smell!"

Then Tony got hungry and sao he carried on eating her and Steve walked in and called the police AND Tony was shot and put in a zoo.

The end

The moral of the sotry is don't smell of chuicken, Especiually not delicious chicken.

*Tony runs in* DID SOMEONE SAY DELICIOUS CHICKEN?!

To be continued…


Legit Footnote.

Was going to be a serious Tony/Pepper and Clintasha fic.. Until my friend Loki'd my computer and Actual Cannibalised Tony.

Work of genius though.