Cards Against Humanity
(I'm using the Australian deck)
It was very boring night on the project freelancer (more commonly know at the Mother Of Invention) and all the The main team consisting of Carolina, Connecticut (C.T or Connie depending on who's talking), Maine, New York (York), North Dakota (North), South Dakota (South), Texas (Tex), Washington (Wash), & Wyoming (All wearing their new glasses/visors, they work pretty much the same as their helmets but they don't have to wear their armor to see the A.I's now) were all in the team's break room seating starting to play a card game called Cards Against Humanity because everyone was tired debating with eachother if they were the good guys.
"Okay, So what are the set rules for this game?" Tex asked the rest of the table. "1st to five black cards win, we start of 7 white cards and we'll go alphabetical order of the one who reads out all the black cards who chooses the winner of each round." Wash suggested which everyone agreed " and somebody thought it was a good idea to add another layer to the game by adding alcohol and every loser of a round drinks. "The only A.I is Sigma the to act as Maine's voice, ofter then that no ones using there A.I's in the game but they can watch and keep score." Tex pointed out.
The cards dealt out and everbody was waiting for Carolina to read the 1st card
Round 1
Turn 1 "Don't go here! Found BLANK in my Mongolian beef!" Carolina read off the card with everbody putting a card down face down.
Carolina looked at the cards in front of her not knowing who's was who's "things i found in my Mongolian beef were?" she said flipped the cards reading, "The Patriarchy, Not reciprocating oral sex, Fading away into nothingness, The violation of our most basic human rights, Women's suffrage, Being marginalised, A brain tumor, or The big bang." Everyone laughing about it having a opinion on the card theirs or not Carolina looked at the cards ruling out the one's she dosen't want The Patriarchy, The Big Bang, Fading away into nothingness, The violation of our most basic human rights & Being marginalised.
"It's between Brain tumor, Oral sex, Women's suffrage but i think it's gonna have to be Not reciprocating oral sex." Carolina says making her choice. The winner of this round was Maine and everyone else took one shot
Turn 2 Connie read the 2nd card "What's that sound?" Everybody searching their hands for the best card finding it and putting it face down "Let's see, Is it Skippy the bush kangaroo, Poor people, Drinking out of the toilet and eating garbage, Lockjaw, Tentacle porn, Kamikaze pilots, The wonders of the orient, Lumberjack fantasies." They laughed at the cards more then others for C.T it was simple "Who ever put down Lumberjack fantasies won." North wins this round, the loses had to drink.
Turn 3 Maine drew a card from the deck and Sigma told to everyone to pick 3 this time and to put them down in order they want them to be read "BLANK + BLANK = BLANK" They all looked through their hands finding perfect combo. When all 8 sets were put down Sigma read "Good-natured, fun-loving racism + Seeing grandma naked = Hospice care. Wizard music + Natural selection = Taking a sheep-wife. Long boring speeches about love or some shit + Fake tits = This month's mass shooting. Catapults + A falcon with a cap on it's head = facebook. Assless chaps + Farting and walking away = Breaking out into song and dance. My inner demons + Fucking my sister = Sideboob. My ugly face and bad personality + A sea of troubles = Millions of cane toads. An oedipus complex + Free samples = Pooping in a laptop & closing it." Maine looked at the cards holding up the one that read This month's mass shooting was the winner. C.T put her arms up cheering as she won, the took a shot.
Turn 4 North smiled grabbing another card think this is going to be a fun one "50% of marriages end in WHAT?" The girls put their cards down first & fast like they were playing SNAP and somebody put a set down, guys took a bit but they all put their cards down. "Half of marriages end in BATMAN, Oestrogen, PTSD, My abusive boyfriend who isn't bad once you get to know him, Battlefield amputations, Flesh-eating bacteria, Cashed-up bogans or Crazy hot cousin sex." Like ever round before they all had an opinion of the cards, making afew guesses as who played each card "Guys Batman wins." York held up the black card for the winner to grab it. "Hand it over York, everone else drink." Carolina told North leaning back in her chair with one arm crossed & the other waiting for the card.
Turn 5 South read the black saying just how fitting this card was "I drink to forget?" Everyone laughed and smiling each putting a card down.
South pick up the cards and read "Forget Total control of the media, Forget Doing the right thing, Forget Being a woman, Forget Glassing a wanker, Forget Soup that is to hot, Forget Only dating asian women, Forget My balls on your face, Forget Viagra" south looked at all of the cards only seeing one that seemed fitting in now, She announced the winner was "I drink to Forget Doing the right thing." "That makes 2 wins for me." Carolina said smiling taking the black card with everyone drinking once again
Turn 6 Tex grabbed card reading "BLANK. Betcha can't have just one!" they all search their cards, selecting the best one, They felt something different this this round maybe it was the last card that was played or maybe it was Carolina winning a 2nd time, but either way they all choose carefully. All the cards were down, Tex flipped over the cards reading "LYNX body spary, All 4 prongs of an echidna's penis, Pauline Hanson, Getting really high, Agriculture, My relationship status, MechaHitler, Girls. Well this is easy it's My relationship status"
Wyoming wins this round
Turn 7 Wash was reading this time "When the pharaoh remained unmoved Moses called down a plague of ..., What do you guys have?" Everyone put down a card and Wash read out "Moses called down a plague of Science, Moses called down a plague of A cute, fuzzy koala with chlamydia, Moses called down a plague of A halal snack pack, Moses called down a plague of A literal tornado of fire, Moses called down a plague of Judge Judy, Moses called down a plague of Moses called down a plague of Hobos, Moses called down a plague of My sex life, Moses called down a plague of Establishing dominance." While Wash was making his decision.
Delta popped up asking everyone what was the point of this game "It's a fun game where we can just shut off our brains for abit." York told the floating green A.I "I don't think shut your brians off is a good idea." Theta said worriedly "Agreed, Depriving your brain of oxygen is highly unsafe." Delta added "It's an expression you 2." South mentioned to the A.I's as she charmed in "It just means were all relexing now." "Yeah, just a fun little game between friends, fire tornado wins by the way." York with this round
Turn 8 "What ended my last relationship." Wyoming seat there reading the card, everone was craking jokes about Wash's love life as everyone put a card down. Wyoming read them out saying "Serfdom, Dropping the baby down the toilet, A fleshlight, An oversized lollipop, Emma Watson, My driver Pavel, A time travel paradox, A saxophone solo." Wash looked at all the cards none of them seemed memorable "I'm gonna say paradox, because that just complicate everything." Wyoming choice the winner which turned out to be Tex.
Everybody who just played that round took another white card giving them 7 "Oh, just drew the best card i could have played that turn." York said disappointingly with after hearing that the rest smiled looking at eachother, with Carolina saying "Sorry York but you can't reply your card now."
Turn 9 York read out the next black card "When i am a billionaire, i shall erect a 20-metre statue to commemorate?" Everybody looked carefully at the cards one by one each of the freelancers put a card down, York read out all of the cards "Teaching a robot to love, Memes, Magnets, My ex-wife, A much younger woman, Giving birth to the antichrist, Dead parents or A middle-aged man on roller skates. Some of you are very terrible people." "Whole point of the game." Wash choose to remind him. "True, Antichrist it is then." South wins.
(Carolina 2, C.T 1, Maine 1, North 1, South 1, Tex 1, Wash 0, Wyoming 1 & York 1)
