WARNING: TORTURE, BLOOD AND BONDAGE!

I do not own Super Smash Bros.


"All right," one man wearing a lab coat said, "we are prepared for our experiment."

"But sir," another man said, "we don't have any test subjects!"

"Well," the first man said, "I do have an idea of a test subject…"

He then whispered the idea to the second man's ear.

"Are you crazy?!" The second man said, "That's considered kidnapping!"

"Jed," a third man said, "the government wants us to do this experiment. We can't back off now."

"But what about using the yellow mouse or the blue hedgehog?" Jed said.

"Jed," the first man said, "would you want the governor to murder you for not doing this?"

Jed was silent for a few seconds, and then he nodded. "All right, Hector."

"Now, listen up, Jed and Bill, here's the plan of getting that bird…"


Today was a festival in the Smash Bros. castle. Pikachu and Jigglypuff were eating hot dogs, Yoshi was running an eating contest, and the swordsmen were showing off their moves.

Falco Lombardi was sitting in a chair, eating some popcorn.

"Hey Falco!" A voice called.

Falco looked and he saw Link approaching him.

"Why aren't you entering the shooting contest? Fox and Wolf are neck to neck!"

Falco then grabbed his soda and drank it. "Nah, I'm not interested in shooting contests."

"But that's the thing you're good at!" Link said, "You would win cool prizes!"

"Prizes smizes," Falco said, "I rather save the world with a gun than win some stupid prize."

"All right," Link said, "but don't blame me if you complain about missing it!" He then left.

Falco sat back and sipped his soda. "Link, you're such an idiot sometimes." He muttered.

Unbeknownst to Falco, three of the men are watching him from behind a bush.

"All right, Bill. You have the disguise?" Hector said.

"Yep!" Bill said, holding up a men's suit with a tie.

"All right. Now all we have to do is wait until dinner at this place has started. Then you can come in dressed as a waiter and follow the bird."

"I'll do that, sir." Bill said, saluting.


Night has fell many hours later, and the Smashers were having dinner inside. Falco was enjoying his spaghetti inside the cafeteria.

Bill, dressed as a waiter, watched the avian and he called his partners on the walkie-talkie, "I found him."

"Good." Hector said, "Once he's alone, knock him out with the blowgun."

"Yes sir."

After a couple of minutes of eating, Falco got up, dumped the remains of the food, and placed his tray to the desk and went out. Bill followed him.

Falco went to the Training Room, and he began to train on weights. "One, two, three…" Falco said, wheezing as he counts.

Pichu was outside the back door, watching him train.

That's when Bill makes his move. He blew in the blowgun and a dart pops out and hits the avian on the neck.

When Falco felt the dart hitting him, he touched around his neck when he felt the dart. He then pulled it out and looked at it.

"What the—" Falco said. However, the liquid the dart had knocked him out cold.

Bill then ran to the avian and dragged him off.

Pichu was hiding behind the back door, terrified of what had happened. He then ran off to tell someone.


Link was practicing his swordplay outside the castle, grunting as he makes his moves.

That's when Pichu ran up to him.

"Angry bird! Angry bird!" Pichu cried. Since he was only a baby, he can only speak simple words.

"What?" Link said, confused.

"Angry bird! Angry bird!" Pichu cried.

"Angry bird? You're not beating my high score on that game!" Link said.

"No no! Angry bird got taken away!"

"Wait…angry bird taken away?" Link then realized what Pichu was trying to say. "Falco!" He sheathed his sword and went to find Falco.


"I got the bird!" Bill cried in his walkie talkie.

"Good. Now hang on; we're coming with the truck!" Hector cried.

After a few minutes, the truck had arrived.

"Get in!" Jed, who was driving the truck, said.

Hector, with Falco in his arms, jumped in the back of the truck and the truck sped off.

Little did they know that Link was hiding, seeing the whole scene happen.

He whistled and Epona had appeared. He jumped on her back and he cried, "Go! Follow that truck!"

Epona then rode off.


Falco was starting to wake up, and the first thing he saw was a bright light flashing at his eyes.

"Ugh…w-where am I?" Falco said, still groggy from being knocked out.

When he was fully conscious, he tried to get up, but he realized that he couldn't move.

"What the hell?!" Falco cried.

He realized that he's strapped to a white table. His arms were strapped to his sides, his torso was strapped down, and his legs were also strapped down, and they are spread out.

The first thing Falco did was struggle. Sadly, he couldn't get free.

"Who did this to me?!" He growled.

"Is the experiment awake?" One voice said.

Falco heard it and he listened hard.

"Yes sir. He's wide awake."

Then, three men in lab coats came in.

"Who are you people?!" Falco cried, "And what do you want from me?!"

Bill smirked. "You are our test subject for our dissecting experiment."

Falco's eyes widen with fear and shock. "D-dissecting?!"

Hector came close to him and grabbed his beak. He then opened it and he looked inside his mouth.

"Now, let's see if you are a carn—"

Before Hector finished his sentence, Falco bit him. He yelped in pain.

"You will NOT dissect me!" Falco shouted.

"He bit me! He bit me!" Hector cried.

Bill sighed, and he pulled out a black sack with two holes. He then came closer to the bound avian.

"HEY! What do you think you're—" Falco tried to say, but Bill covered the avian's beak with the sack, muzzling him.

"GRRMPH! Ymmn bsstrmmd!" Falco growled, but the muzzle only made his words muffled.

Hector grabbed a knife and he came closer to Falco. "And now…" He said with a menacing grin, "let's begin our experiment, shall we?"

Hector then sliced Falco's shirt and he ripped it off of him. He then began to cut away his blue feathers. Pain struck the bound and muzzled avian when the knife pierced his skin.

"MMMPH!" Falco cried out in pain.

"Oh now now," Hector said, "it's not that painful." He then sliced the avian's bare skin.

"Stmmp! Pllmss! STMMP!" Falco cried, trying to hold back tears.

Bill watched as Hector then stabbed Falco in the stomach and the avian cries out.

Jed watched from afar, and he became scared. He then ran out of the room without the two other men noticing.


Link stopped Epona when he saw the truck he was chasing parked near a large building.

"Falco might be in there…" He muttered, "I hope he's OK."

He then ran to the door and he kicked it open. He ran down the hallway.

He was running so fast he crashed into someone.

"Ow!" He cried.

He got up and he saw a man with a lab coat.

"I am SO sorry—" The man said when Link grabbed him by the coat and pinned him to the wall.

"All right. Where's my friend?!" Link shouted.

Jed was shaking with fright, "W-who's your friend?"

"The avian." Link growled. He then placed his sword on his neck. "Tell me where he is!"

"I—I know where he is! Just please don't hurt me!" Jed cried.

Link dropped him and he looked at him. "All right. Now tell me where he is."

"He's in Room 147, which is the dissecting room. Your friend is being dissected. I didn't agree with what my partners are doing, and when they started to torture the poor creature, I have to get out of there!"

"They're WHAT?!" Link cried, "Where's the room."

Jed pointed forward. "Straight here. Please be careful!"

"I will. Thanks." Link said, and then he ran off.


Falco was in horrible condition. He was stabbed everywhere except for his chest, and he was bleeding everywhere. There were cuts all over his half-naked body, and he was in extreme pain.

"We're not done yet." Hector sneered. He then stabbed him in the leg.

"P-pllmms! Qmmt!" Falco cried, and tears began to fall.

"Heh, not as tough as you were, huh?" Bill laughed.

Suddenly, an arrow broke through the window.

"What the hell?!" Bill cried.

"What was that?!" Hector cried.

Hector dropped his knife and him and Bill ran out the room.

Falco groaned under the muzzle in pain. He looked around the floor to find the arrow. When he saw it, he recognized its design.

Link! Falco thought, overjoyed that Link had come to rescue him.


It was a short fight between the two men and Link. Link stabbed and cut them. The men fell after being hurt severely and they began to bleed. Link made sure that the men are dead, and he ran to the door and he kicked it open.

When he saw Falco in his state, he was shocked.

"Lrmmmk!" Falco cried, shocked to see Link beaten and bruised.

Link ran up to him and removed the muzzle.

"L-Link!" Falco cried, "Are you OK?!"

"Yeah. I-I'm all right." Link said as he pulled out his sword and began to cut the straps holding Falco down.

Once Falco was free, he stared at Link's eyes for a bit. He then broke down crying.

"L—Link!" Falco sobbed, "They were stabbing me, and…"

"I know, Falco." Link said, holding his close friend close, "It's going to be all right. I'm here."

He then let go of Falco and he looked over his injuries.

"We need to get you back home." Link said, "You're seriously hurt."

"Y-yeah…" Falco said. When he tried to stand, he collapsed, but Link caught him.

"I'll carry you." Link said, holding Falco bridal style.

"I don't know Link…what if someone at the castle saw this?"

Link laughed. "Don't worry about that."

"And Link?" Falco said.

"Yeah?" Link said.

"Thanks…and don't you DARE tell anyone that I cried."

Link tried to stifle a laugh. "I won't. Trust me."

He then ran out of the room with Falco in his arms.

I'll keep an eye on him more after this… Link said.


And that's it! Yes, I know that Falco doesn't cry, but come on; if you are being dissected ALIVE, would you be crying too?

Oh, and also, credit goes to Ang3lbabe 1527 for the "angry bird" idea XD