In the earlier days of my life, I sometimes had the chance to participate in balls. It was Guren who gave me the chance; he took me there with him then and now. For usual there never were normal persons like you and me, only the elite with their high ranks and special uniforms, but because I was brought there by him it was accepted that I was there. Of course I didn't dance with someone, even though I was able to, all of the girls there were from high families and so I better did not ask any of them for a dance because probably it would have been the last time I did so. These balls usually were a lot of fun for me, even though I was alone the most of the time. There were a lot of people wearing their best clothes and uniforms, also the music played by a real band was something I had not experienced before. Furthermore, it had always been a completely different mood there, everybody seemed so relaxed and friendly to each other, it was so… normal.
The evening I want to tell you about occurred some years ago. Everybody in my age danced and the older ones sat together and talked. So I sat alone on the table in the corner, and it was unbelievably warm in the hall even though the big doors leading to the huge terrace already had been opened widely. So I decided to go out to get some fresh air and a little break of showing my best behaviour, what usually becomes exhausting after some hours.
And there she stood, resting her elbows on the massive marble balustrade, holding her head in her hands and staring in the sky watching the stars. For a moment I hesitated, but then I went over and decided to stand next to her. While drawing closer to her, I looked at her more precisely. She wore a beautiful dress, coloured in a dark blue, which fit perfectly to her lavender hair waving in the light breezes of the night. After a while I asked her in a low voice: "So, what is the reason you are standing out here, all alone?" Silence. When I already thought I would not get an answer, she silently said "I am alone." "How do you mean that?" I carefully asked after some seconds, not knowing how to react on that answer. "For usual, nobody even talks to me. And yet I always have to go with my family. They say I have to because it's important. It's not. It's boring." "I see…" I stated, lost in thoughts. How often does she have to come to events like this? And does really everybody ignore her?
I wanted to find it out, so I asked her. "How often do you come to balls like this one?" After some seconds of thinking she answered "Every second week, I guess." My eyes widened when I heard that, luckily not visible for her, she had not stopped watching the sky during our whole conversation. Guren takes me to balls like this maybe once in three months, and there are some even he is not invited to. In contrast that tiny girl of my age had the chance to go to all of them with her family. She had to come from a very important one considering this fact. We silently stood next to each other for a few minutes, both of us deeply lost in thoughts, only hearing the low sound of the music from the hall and the tree's leaves rustling in the wind.
Suddenly an idea came to my mind. Could I…? No, I better should not do this. I cannot ask her for a dance, can I? I carefully looked around. Nobody else was out here who could see me, the simple young man, asking the foreign girl from the high family for a dance. So I gathered all my courage and slowly asked her "Would… would you like to dance with me?" She turned her head and looked at me with big eyes, asking "Are you serious?" "Umm… yes, I guess…" I answered blushing a little bit. She happily replied "Of course!" and offered me her hand, looking at me eagerly. The music played by the band in the hall was a slow waltz, a perfect dance for this moment. Only me and her, nothing else than the night and the stars around us. So I slowly started, and we used the whole space the terrace had, dancing in the dimmed light shining out of the hall. During our dance she came closer. After a certain time I noticed something wet on my shirt. I looked down, and… I saw her crying quietly, tears shining bright on her cheeks. I stopped on a place in some distance of the doors, and bowed down, looking in her eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?" I asked patiently with a little smile on my lips. She wiped some tears away and answered quietly "It's… it's just… you are the first one who ever asked me for a dance in all those years." I did not know how to answer on this, so I fell quiet for a while, and then I gave her a tender embrace. "Hey, this isn't bad at all! You're great. I can't explain why nobody asked you before…" I whispered in her ear. When I dissolved it, I saw her blushing. She wiped the last tears away with her sleeve and avoided eye contact. Both of us fell silent.
Suddenly, almost inaudible, she whispered "Thanks." First I did not know how to handle this situation, but then I asked her "For what?" "For dancing with me… and also… talking to me" she whispered "You have to know my family doesn't care about me a lot. They ignore me, for a reason I don't know." "I'm sorry for this. I didn't know…" I stated. "It's okay. How should you even know?" she replied slowly. After some moments of silence I finally asked her "Do you mind… telling me your name?" She chuckled and said "It's Shinoa. And what is yours?" "I'm Yuichiro, but you can just call me Yuu." I answered smiling. "Well then… nice to meet you Yuu!" she said smiling slightly. "It's my pleasure!" I answered playfully. Shinoa laughed.
When I saw this I had a feeling that is inexpressible. It was back then and it still is now, years later. Your hearth feels warm and in a moment like this you feel… complete in some way. I had to smile and we were just watching each other for a moment. She shifted closer to me and laid her head on my shoulder. She seemed to notice that this made me blush and explained calmly "It's cold out here, that's why." and closed her eyes. I was looking on her. She was so small and thin, almost vulnerable. But that was what made her as beautiful as she was. I softly laid my hand on top of her head. She opened her eyes and looked directly into mine. "Her eyes are as beautiful as the rest of her appearance" I thought to myself, when I noticed she was still staring at me. "I'm sorry…" I mumbled and wanted to lift my hand, but then she suddenly whispered "No, wait… leave it there." We both blushed a little bit and tried to not look at each other.
Then I had an idea. Looking back now it was absurd, but it just seemed to be something normal for me that evening. So I asked her "Would you… would you like to come to my place with me?" trying to avoid any eye contact. When I turned my view on her I saw her staring at me with her big bronze eyes, apparently not believing what she just heard. When I already thought I would not get an answer and feared I would have killed our conversation, she suddenly said "Yes! I think this is gonna be fun." "Great! I just have to tell… someone I'm leaving, so please wait for me here." I replied with a little smile on my lips and started my way to Guren. I found him sitting on our table, chatting about work with a few other men I did not know. Since I did not want to interrupt them I just signalised him I would leave now. A little nod was my only answer. I hurried back to the terrace where I left Shinoa. When I saw her, I stopped and saw her just sitting there and watching the stars, exactly as she did when I saw her for the first time. Again I had this warm feeling, just by seeing her. Could it…? No, this does not just happen in a single evening. It is impossible, is it not?
Deeply lost in my thoughts I slowly went over to her and sat down. "You really like the stars, don't you?" I asked her. She flinched alarmed, but when she noticed it was me she smiled and just said "Yes… I do." After a few moments she added "They remember me of freedom. What it must be like, not having anyone watching you all the time. Somebody who only cares about you when it is necessary. They're free in whatever they want to do." "I guess that would be fantastic…" I answered thoughtfully. A few moments of silence passed but then she asked "Anyway, would you like to leave now?" "Of course" I answered and stood up. In silence we went down the stairs of the terrace. This situation probably was strange for both of us.
