"You never look at my legs!"
The difficulty was keeping a straight face and refraining from a comment such as: what do you mean? There's nothing else to look at on this ship! or: no, I'm too distracted by your hair.
Instead, the awkward outburst was neatly side-stepped by a technical observation and an interjection by Commander Spock. One could only wonder if the Vulcan's interruption was a desperate attempt to save his captain from further embarrassment. It was thoughtful, anyhow.
More difficult than restraining an initial teasing comeback was continuing as normal after the Yeoman's profession of frustration as to as to Kirk's immunity to her figure; there was now no possible way to avoid glancing at the indicated body-parts.
Members of the USS Enterprise senior command thought their Captain's line of sight was often misplaced, but in their commander's defence the Yeoman's exclamation had forever doomed her hearer to a vivid memory which would automatically drop the glance about 13 degrees upon the entrance of said crewmember. It was most unfortunate.
Inevitably, the perfection of the Yeoman's legs was quickly discovered after a few observations. Janice Rand had been justified in her frustration - she did have nice legs.
This also was most unfortunate.
Skirts barely over the length of a 12 inch ruler had never impeded command before, and Kirk was determined that they would no longer do so.
The overhead viewscreen seemed to increase in usefulness, and the Enterprise coffee apparently lost it's taste - that, or it's most faithful addict had joined Caffeine-Anonymous. Whatever the case, the blond basketweave frequented the bridge minimally (by no initiative of her own).
The Yeoman had good cause now to bemoan the lack of optical employment over her entire person.
What interaction remained was devoid of any common characteristics of the jovial Captain; in fact, one interested crewmember described it as: "Icy."
As a result, when the command: "Beam us up, Scotty," was replied with: "Sorry sir! The transporter's jammed", the entire bridge made popcorn and placed bets on whether any pickaxes would be employed on the planet below where the pair of icicles were trapped. Alone.
As hours passed, the bets increased (as did the popcorn production).
When the troublesome machinery was finally fixed - one planetary rotation later - Uhura made off with a fortune.
Blood, scratches, ripped yellow shirts and missing tights greeted the transporter pad. The basket-hair had come undone.
Scotty blamed the torn command shirt, Bones argued for the loss of hose, but whatever the case, the pickaxe had most obviously been employed.
Senior command prepared to welcome a permanent member to the bridge. (After all, who didn't want 24-hour coffee available?)
But it was not to be.
Within hours, commander Spock received the transfer request of Yeoman Janice Rand, signed with the Captain's lopsided cursive.
Senior command was crushed.
As to what had happened to the blooming romance, Kirk's only reply was a change of subject or an all-important call that just couldn't wait.
The transfer came too quickly for the Bridge to interfere (with the best intentions), and "two to beam down" was ordered amid gloomy observation.
Upon return, the lone member of the brief landing party was promptly interrogated.
As was his duty, the first officer intervened on his captain's behalf.
"Gentlemen and Lt. Uhura, may we please put this matter to rest; Jim Kirk has but one lady - on whose deck we now stand. I believe that both the Captain and Yeoman Rand knew this quite well."
And that was the end of it.
