ROBDOS BUILD 3.11
POST PROCEDURE RUNTIME: 32.03 SEC
LOGIN: ******
PASSWORD:*********
READY.
ACCESSING... PLEASE WAIT...
ACCESSING PERSONAL NEUROSYNAPTIC MAP 6743A-18644-64616-684682311-151332351451
SUBJECT NAME: ERROR
SUBJECT AFFILIATION: ERROR
WARNING: DATA LOSS DETECTED.
RESEQUENCING FROM POINT 02486.15646.1456164666.029. PLEASE WAIT...
RESEQUENCING UNSUCCESSFUL. ABORT\RETRY\FAIL? R
RESEQUENCING...
1 KERNEL OF 548435168 RESEQUENCED
TRANSCRIBING FROM KERNEL 1...
Wait...
What's going on?
Bright! Too bright...
Where am I? What – OWWW! Asshole! What're you slapping me for? Stop it!
Damn right put me down. That hurt! Where do you get off – Hey, who are you? Are you the one in charge here?
MAN: Let's see... Are you a boy or a girl?
Huh? First of all, that's not what I asked. Second: I'm thirty seconds old! I don't even know what those words mean!
MAN: It's a boy? A boy! We've got a son, Catherine! A beautiful, healthy baby boy!
CATHERINE: Oh.. Oh, James... We did it... A son. A beautiful son...
Oh. Hey there. Didn't see you before, what with your splayed knees in the way and all. Do you know what's going on here?
JAMES: You've got a bright future ahead of you, son. I'm sure of it. Look at you, look at you!
You've got a bad habit of interrupting my conversations, bud. Why don't you tell me who you are before I decide to take a green squirt all over your nice white coat?
JAMES: Hi there. I'm your daddy, little guy. Da-ddy.
Oh. Da-ddy. I don't really know what that means, either, but it makes me feel kinda warm inside. Kinda good. Daddy. You're Daddy.
JAMES: You're going to need a name, aren't you? Your mother and I have been talking.
Mother? Oh, you mean splay-leg lady. That's a warm name, too. Mother. My mother.
We've been trying to come up with the perfect name for you. It's taken a while, but we finally found one that's right.
A name, huh? Well, I suppose it's better than being called Hey You my whole life. You seem like nice folks. I bet you got me a really good name?
JAMES: Would you like to tell him, dear?
CATHERINE: I'm still a little woozy from the epidural, James. You tell him.
Yeah, a good name. A really bitching name. Something that will strike fear into all who oppose my claim over this world. Jethro Swordmaster, that should be my name. Or Rambo McAsskicker. Maybe I should just go with a single name, like Gundam. Yeah, Gundam rules. I wanna be Gundam.
What do you think about... John Edgar Gray?
...WHAT?
That's a good name, don't you think? Fits you perfectly.
What in the Holy Hell? What kind of world-bestriding name is that? John Edgar Gray? That's the name of a middle-school English teacher. I don't even know what that is, and I know that I don't like it!
MOM: It's perfect, James. I know he loves it.
Don't encourage the man!
JAMES: Looks like they've finished the gene projection. Let's see what you'll look like when you're all grown up.
And don't you change the subj-- Oh, what's this bright and shiny thing? A picture-box? That's a neat idea. I'd sure like one of these for myself. Say, who's this person I'm looking at? He seems kinda dweeby.
You're going to look a lot like your dad. See that, Catherine?
MOM: Oh... Very strapping. Heh heh.
Is.. Is that me? Me, with the big ears and the huge nose and one eyebrow? Something here doesn't seem right. It's not the face I'd choose, but then again I'm only three minutes old. What do I know about aesthetics?
DAD: It's a big world out there, son, full of all sorts of people. What about you? What sort of person are you going to be?
Hey, whoa, slow down there, daddy-guy. I'm still trying to get my head around this whole personal-appearance unpleasantness. Anyway, I haven't met that mother-thing yet and, no offense, she seems a lot less pushy than you. Aren't you kinda hogging the bonding time here?
You're just --
MOM: James? James... Something's... Something's...
DAD: Catherine? Catherine!
Hey, easy! Don't shake like that! You can slow down that heartrate of yours too while you're at it. I'm starting to get worried.
She's in cardiac arrest! Start compressions! Get the baby out of here! Move, move!
Leggo! I said let go! I wanna see my mother! Mother! Dad! Mom! This crazy lady's taking me away! Do something!
One one thousand, two one thousand. Come on! Hang on, Catherine! Hang on...
Somebody, do something! Help me!
END KERNEL 1 TRANSCRIPTION
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