Its early morning, first block and I'm just so bored. I put my hand up to go to the bathroom.

I get up to leave and in the hall way I bump into josh this guy I've never acknowledged before. Even thought he's my best friend's older brother.

"Sorry…" I mumble before I walk off to the cafe. I bend down to get my water and bump into someone again. I get up and turn around to see josh, the guy I just

bumped into earlier. "what are u doing" I just stood there waiting. "I was just waiting to get some water" He had a smirk on his

face.

It was so obvious that he was fallowing me. "whatever" I say, I had never even talked to this guy why is her fallowing me, no its just my imagination he isn't following me. I sit down and dump everything out of my bag sorting it, while calculating how much time I have until I have to go back to class. Then as I'm throwing away recites and old gum rappers he sits across from me. He just stares at me smiling. I ignore him and go back to my clutter while he just stares at me until im done. Okay now it's freaking me out.

"What do u want?"

"Nothing in particular"

"Then why have you been staring at me for about 5 minutes"

"Cant a person just sit here"

"Not just staring at some one, did you know that can be a little creepy?!"

I get up to leave, but he follows me. I stop in front of my class room and turn around. "Spit it out already okay I need to get back to class" he just turns and walks away waving his hand back to me as he goes. Okay that was strange I thought to myself.

After school I start to walk to the bus stop and get my arm pulled on. I turn around expecting one of my friends. But no it's this bleach blonde that

I don't even know.

"You better stay away from my boyfriend" she says

"What are you talking about I don't even know who that is"

"Justin, you were talking to him during first and it was said that you two were getting a little to close"

"um....Firstly I don't give a shit about what you think and it is none of your business who I talk to okay besides he talked to me"

"What you think that he would go out with you..?! Please I'm in such a different league then you"

Bitch

"Yeah you are I can barely see you all the way down there"

"Just stay away!"

But as I start to walk again someone else pulls on my arm again "WHAT" I yell. It was just Lizzy though, "Sorry thought you were someone else"

"Yeah I was you talking to Carly back there, were you too fighting or something? What ever you're coming over to my house I called your mom she said

It was alright so come one let's go. She pulls me to her brother's truck, which I love. Her brother was already in the driver's seat waiting for her.

As we got in he said "what is she doing here?"

"What do you think it's Erica?" I close the door and open the window. I love putting my hand outside of the window when a vehicle is going fast.

When were almost there a stick swipes my hand and leaves a gash on my palm. I pull it back in and tighten up my palm. I'm holding my breath. Trying from

Screaming not doing well, so I start to cry a little. When we get into the drive way josh gets out and slams the door. Lizzy waits for me to get out but I'm holding my hand

Shut so the blood doesn't get every where. I'm holding it out side the window so the blood that is dripping down isn't getting on my pants." what's wrong Erica?"

I shake my head. Keeping my mouth shut from crying out loud.

"JUSTIN" Lizzy shouts.

"WHAT" he turns around and comes back a little until he could see his sisters face. "What s wrong Liz are you okay?"

"I'm fine but Erica won't get out and I think threes something wrong with her hand it bleeding, she won't open it"

He sees my hand and opens the door grabs me and yells at Lizzy to come and help find the first aid kit in the kitchen some where. He sets my on the counter and tries to

Open my hand but it just hurts even more when he touches it. I pull my hand away from him into my chest squishes it titter until more blood seeps out. I shake my

Head again. "You have to let me see it. Open your hand Eric please. I look up at him and he takes my hand and I open it a little so the air can get at it

And it hurt even more. I yell out and squeeze my hand even more. "There is definitely something stuck in there. Please Erica but you have to let me see it before"

Whatever's in there gets and further" he says while Lizzy sets the first aid kit beside me on the counter.

I open my hand all the way so he can see it but man does that hurt. My other hand was balled up into a fist, my knuckles started to turn white.

He opened up the kit and took out these giant tweezers and a disinfectant cloth. He looked up at me "Okay this is going to hurt just a bit" I gritted my teeth and hoped that it would be over soon. He poured the liquid on to my hand while holding my arm in place. I was making strange noises because I refused to open my mouth. It stung a hell lot more then actually getting the cut. He wiped the cut clean from dirt and dried blood. He told Liz to take my arm and hold it there. I was breathing thought my throat while he took the tweezers and pulled a couple of tiny twigs from my hand. After he took all the twigs out he wrapped it up. I stretched out my hand and tightened it. It felt fine now. I looked up at him "thank-you". He smiled at me "sure whatever, from now on you keep your hands in the vehicle, okay?"

I smiled back "okay." I jumped down and ran off with Sissy 3, like we were five, to her room.

Later that night me and haily were making our self's dinner because there parents were off and some meeting somewhere in Vancouver. So our attempts at baking was horrible we were covered in flour and eggs. When Justin came down at the smell of something burning he saw us throwing a flaming pan into the sink. We looked at him and then at each other. We burst out into a fit a laughter. We were on the floor laughing. Justin came over to us and just kind of stared at us. That made us laugh even more. He started to clean up when me and Sissy got some flour and throw it at him. He turned around and came after us. "Get back here you two. Your going to wish you didn't do that." we split up, she went up stairs and I went outside. I hid behind a tree trying to stop the laughter. I looked out from behind the tree and a large body just tackled me and started to tickle me. I screamed. That startled me. A LOT.

I wiggled out of it and backed away with my hands held up in defeat. He was right in front of me when I took one more step and feel into the pool . He tried to reach out for me but fell into too. We swam up to the surface and I pushed his head back down, he grabbed my legs and pulled me under too. He put his arms around me so I couldn't use my arms. He looked at me and kissed me. Just like that. I was a bit confused.

I was struggling at first but then I kissed him back.

What was I doing. I thought , this is my best friends brother. Right now I didn't care. But we did need air so we swam up and I got out. And grabbed a towel on the out side of the door called to Liz and waited for her to come down. Josh looked at me from across the pool. I turned around. His face fell and he laid back down on the cement. Sissy came down and saw me and started to laugh and that was it I pushed her into the pool too. I throw the towel off and dove off the diving board. We stared splashing each other and pushing each other in while Justin walked inside probably going to take a shower .

What a loser, I mean this was so much fun.

After about a hour of us playing in the pool we got out with prune fingers and toes going to go take a shower. I headed up to the guest room other words known as my room here. I always slept here when ever I came over. Sometimes me and Lizzy fell asleep in each others room when we stayed up late. After we were showered and hair dried and perfect we watched a horror movie down stairs with the slandered movie munchies. Chips, popcorn, and our favorite pops, mountain dew and ICED TEA!!!

This was a really good scary movie it actually made us jump and scream and yell at the person to not open the door. But like always they did and got killed by the mass murder. We had one more two more movies left when josh came down stairs and went into the kitchen. "what one do you want to watch first?" Sissy asked turning my attention back to her. I pointed at the one with the guy in a mask and knife in his hand. Justin came back into the living room and took a bag of chips from our stash. "Heyyyyyy, those are ours, they stay here give then back" Lizzy said. He Shrugged and went to sit on the floor to my left. He looked at me but I kept my face towards the screen.

I was debating the hole movie whether I should just say I like him or keep quiet. About half way through the last movie Sissy said she's going to bed and leaves me and Justin alone. I move to the end of the couch and he goes to the other end and looks at me while I try to pay attention to the movie, It was hard. After he knows Liz is asleep, he starts to talk to me "so……does your hand hurt?" He was trying to sound interested but he just wanted to see if I would turn my head to face him. I shrugged. That was all he said in the entire movie but half way through the second movie, BOOM, I dive into his chest.

It'll go away soon, of course it will. It's just thunder.

He went rigid but then put his hand around my back when I cringed from another sound. "Your afraid of thunder?" He asked. I was shaking in his arms. He turned off the movie and just laid there with me cringing and shaking for about an hour till he thought I was a sleep. He carried me up to my bed and laid me on my bed. After he left I started to move around and then I heard another boom and woke up.

Where am I? why am I up in my room? Wait how'd I get up here? But more importantly where did he go? I thought to my self.

I got up and walked to his room his door was open so I walked in. He took his headphones out and looked at me. I walked up to him hands on hips and started at him. "where did you go?" I was sad slash mad at him. "I thought you fell asleep" he said in surprise.

"so?" At that a loud boom crashed against the house and I squealed. He pulls me onto his bed. And rubes my back" it's all right, I'm right here. Here put these on" He puts his headphones on me. I stopped shaking but I was still kilning to him. He wrapped his arms around me and his my forehead. "thank you" I whispered. I laid my head against his chest and fell asleep. I woke up to him moving the hair out of my face. I smiled up at him. He smiled back. After a minute of that I realized that I slept in his bed and not mine. What would Liz think. He new what I was thinking about and said she went to work about an hour ago. "oh yeah I forgot that she works on Saturdays, why am I here anyway?" I asked laying back down. "cause you came here?" He said. "no not here here. Like at your house here. I know why I'm here." I smiled up at him. He smiled back at me. I stretched my neck up so I could reach him. He met me half way.

Ima shorty, even when I'm lying down.

On Monday when we first get to school me and Liz start walking towards the school entrance when I turn around and look at Justin and the dilemma comes back to me from the weekend.

On Sunday I stopped and thought about what we did. I mean we cant really go out, he's me best friends older brother I cant like him I cant. I know he knows me he helped me and kissed me. But what about Liz she wouldn't like it. I cant, I wont hurt her like that.

I turn and run to catch up to haily. I'm sorry Justin.

During lunch I'm walking through the halls with Katie and Sabrina talking about stuff them failing me helping them do there homework, when we walk past Justin and his friends which one of them I have hated since he ever started flirting with me. I look away and try to listen to what Katie is talking about in socials -they both suck in socials- when Bret does that irritating whistle thing. I turn and catch Justin looking at Bret with such a stare that I though he hated him. I turn away before Justin looked at me. Luckily Katie and Sabrina already know that I hate Bret so they ignore him for my sake. Through-out the whole day and the rest of the week I cant get over the stares Justin gives me. And how he tries to talk to me, but I always end up walking away.

That coming week of my daily walking at lunch with some other friends I so happen to be with we pass Justin and his group of friends. Bret did his usual thing but this time Justin couldn't handle it. He pushed Bret Into a locker. Bret pushed back. Justin almost hit his head on a glass cabinet. Josh and Bret are getting into this and some people are staring to gather round. I can't believe this is over me. I'm yelling at Justin to stop it but he gets a few good punches in before Bret side swipes him and Justin falls to the ground. "Justin" I run to his side. He tries to push me away. I push his hands aside and take's a look at his face. It wasn't bad it doesn't look like he broke anything but he'll need to get washed up.

"come on get up, lets go" I look back at Bret who just smiles at me. "You are such an ass Bret" its all I say and walk Justin to the science room and close the door behind us.

I get Justin to sit on a chair while I get some paper towel wet. When I come back he wont make eye contact. I cleaned his cut out with my good hand. - the other one was still bandaged up- When I'm done I turn to through the paper towel out. I can hear him getting up and walking over to me.

" why did you do that Justin?"

". . . . . . . . I don't know."

"that's not a good enough answer."

"I don't know I just snapped."

"he always does that, why now?"

"well it never really bothered me until now." his voice got softer as he finished.

I turn around and he's looking down. I like him so much, I want to hold him but what about Liz. But shouldn't sissy be happy for me. I cant like him. But I do. He looks up at me. I soooo like him.

"It shouldn't bother you. You know I don't like him."

"well then who do you like then"

I look down.

"you can't like me you've been avoiding me for 2 weeks, I don't know what that was that weekend but you obviously just wanted something from me"

I'm soooo sorry Justin I do like you but what about Liz.

"or what was it Erica?"

"I'm sorry." my eyes are getting blurry and one tear falls down my cheek to the floor.

"Why are you sorry, huh?"

He doesn't notice. He wasn't looking at me

"I'm sorry." a few more tears flow down my face as I look up at him.

He reaches out to me and steps one foot forward. I turn around and run out of the room down the hall way to the exit. Before I step out the door I see josh half way down the hall way looking at me.

That weekend unfortunately my parents were going out of town so I had to stay at haily house. So that meant that I probably couldn't avoid Justin, especially since he has to drive us home after school. The rest of that day was hell once we got home whenever he would see me he would always look like he was going to say something but didn't get the chance before I looked away and walked away.

Me and Lizzy were hanging out in her room but sadly I got kicked out due to the fact that she had to get up early for work. I didn't want to go to my room so I went out side, on my way I passed Justin who, again was about to say something, just stood there.

I was laying on one of the towels by the pool with one foot in looking up at the stars.

I cant avoid him forever.

I could hear him come outside. His foot steps were getting closer and then he sat down on a chair off to my left.

Just talk and lets get it over with.

"I'm sorry I made you cry."

I get up to leave. Can't do this.

"Wait" Justin gets up and touches my arm.

I stop, look down at the ground. "anything else"

He drops his arm and steps closer so he's right behind me. "why?"

Why? Theirs so many reasons why . "Why what?"

"Did it mean anything?" he moves closer.

Yes it meant the world to me "No."

"Then why?" he takes a step back.

"I don't know" my voice is almost soundless.

He walks more into the forest park of his yard and leaves me. I turn and see him walking looking up at the stars towards the boundary of his property. what am I doing? If I like someone shouldn't I be able to show it, not hide it? Tears are sliding down my face.

I can't, not now.

CHAPTER TWO

Second Semester *6 months later*

I haven't talked to him since, well other then the once in awhile "hi" and "hi"

Back. But that's all. I have come to not be scared of his stares that he gives me. I'm pretty sure that he HATES me now. For some reason he has got himself convinced that I was using him for something and now wont even talk to me. He's no longer capable of a full sentences with me. But I'm starting to feel like I made a mistake. I mean I told haily,

*Flash back*

Liz was at my house for the weekend, I didn't want to go to her house."so what do you want to watch?" Lizzy was flipping through channels trying to find something interesting on this late at night."Lizzyyy its 3am there's nothing on" I said

"OMIGAWD FIIIIIIIINE" Liz said.

Lizzy turned off the T.V. and layed back down on her side of the bed.

"Sissy if I tell you something will you promise not to not mad at me?" I was going to tell her this time I will . I thought to myself.

"You like my brother don't you?" Haily already knew.

"well yah, how'd you know?" I totally thought that she didn't know.

"well firstly, it was like soo obvious, second like come on I knew u stayed in his room that night. I saw you two, his door was open."

"OH MI GAWD" that was embarrassing. Face was like beat red right now.

"and he like cried one night and I didn't know why and well he may of spilled the beans and told me."

"Really what he say?" maybe I'll get to find out if he reeeeally hates me.

"well he said that you were like playing him and stuff. Well that's what he thought but I know you would never do that. But he still thinks that, he said some other things too about you and how he feels about you."

Was she going to tell me or what?

"What? I'm not gonna tell you your going to have to find out yourself."

"HOOOOW?" what was I supposed to do ask him? No.

"ASK HIM"

Were connected like that sometimes

*ENDS flashback*

About a week later AGAIN my mom and dad are forced to send me to Lizzy's.

I have been bitching and whining about not wanting to go there and always getting Liz to come over here. Why cant I just stay home alone?

OMIGAWD HE BETTER NOT FUCKIGN STARE AT ME FOR LIKE AN HOUR AND JUST GINVE ME NASTY LOOKS

But yes of course when I get to Lizzy's house he IS giving me weird stares at the dinner table that Sissy made for us and forced us to sit at.

Stop fucking staring at me

I was sending a mental message to him. . . . . . . . .It wasn't getting through.

When I finished my dinner I went to clean my dishes while Hailey was clearing up the table. When I went back to help Liz I heard Justin whispering too Hailey asking why I was here.

FUCK OFF

They heard me come in and grab a half empty dish. Then leave again, I could still hear them though. Liz was just telling josh the truth, I was stuck here till Monday, parents blah blah blah. I finished putting away all the left over's. Went into the living room to watch TV. Liz was finishing up in the kitchen and Justin was standing behind the couch.

Gawd I was gonna hurt him if he didn't stop bugging me.

"omg." did I just say that out loud?

He looked over at me with a questionable look.

I am so out of here

I got up and left to go outside.

I was laying on my stomach listening to music while looking into the water in the pool.

I could also see his reflection in the water, I couldn't hear him though. I hope he wasn't trying to talk to me. Well it wouldn't matter I wouldn't be listening to him anyway.

I took out one of my head phones as he sat down on the lawn chair I was laying on.

I looked up at him then went back to poking the water. I loved the rings it put off.

He was watching what I was doing, thinking about what to say. Meanwhile Lizzy closed the outside door to the deck and closed the curtains. Maybe thinking that it would help. It soooo didn't.

"What do you want?" I asked in a harsh voice.

"I don't know" He shrugged.

"mmm" Couldn't think of anything else to say

This was getting just a bit awkward. He was looking at the back of my head when I turned over and sat up. Are arms brushed as I put my arms around my knees.

I was just looking past him now at the garden. There were pretty purple flowers over in a bush.

"U like purple?"

"mmmhm" I do.

I got up to go over to the bush too look closer at the flower. They really were beautiful. I was feeling one of the really pretty ones when josh came over and picked a really big dark purple one.

"Here" It kind of looked like he was trying not to blush.

I looked away from him "thanks."

I was feeling the flower, the pedals were so soft, one had a water droplet on it. I brushed it away.

He sat down beside me looking at my face while I pretended to be preoccupied by the flower.

I thought he hated me, Why was he being so nice.?

"I was never playing you by the way" I said as I got up to leave.

"what?" He had no idea where that came from

"I said, . . . . . I never played you" I went inside.

He sat there for about a half hour till I heard him come back in. I was in my room laying on my side away from the open door. Maybe he thought I was asleep but he came into my room putting my forgotten I-pod on my bedside table then left.

*Next morning*

I wake up to the sun shinning in my eyes I try to move it away but it isn't working. I wonder what time it is. Like is the sun supposed to be that bright in the morning. In my half asleep daze I get up in my underwear and go to the bathroom. I go into the bathroom and go do morning stuff brush my teeth, brush my hair, go to the bathroom, wash my face. When I open the door to leave, half way back to my room Justin gets up and comes out of his room in less clothing then me I mean I'm wearing a shirt too. He wasn't, He was just wearing his boxers which by the way had teddy bears on them. He froze looking at me. I mean I was partially asleep but I couldn't care less if some guy saw me in my underwear they cover more then my bathing suit.

"what, like you've never seen a girl in her underwear before" I was staring at his boxers

He didn't speak

I walked closer to him so I could point out his boxers.

"Nice boxers your mom by those for you?"

That got him to say something.

"Hey, so what if she did. It was a birthday present and besides I like them."

Okay I had to laugh at that.

It made him smile

"What time is it? Has Liz already left?" He asked.

"mm Good question." I walked into his room to see his clock.

"it's 10:30" I said with a smirk.

"Smart ass"

He walked back into his room and was giving me a really cheeky grin. He closed his door. And was making his way closer and closer to me. OMIGAWD . what have I got myself into this time. I took a step back. Unfortunately behind me was his bed. Well once I couldn't get any further back unless I went on his bed. No chance there. He had his body pressed almost to mine. He was gonna kiss me. Well I'm gonna make this fun, he's gonna have to work for it. I slipped out to his left and went to the door and opened it. He looked worried.

"gonna have to catch me" I was serious

Once he made one step towards me I was off down the stares.

"Get back her cheater" He was playing along

"can't catch me" I was behind the couch while he was running towards me.

"Wanna bet" He was gonna catch me.

I was laughing as I ran. I was small I could avoid his hands while he tripped over a pillow and ran into a wall.

"ooo, that looked painful" I was giggling but ran into the other room when he turned to look at me as he got to his feet.

I was about to go outside to the patio when to arms ran around my stomach. He had caught me. But I play dirty. He was right up against my butt. Yah he was hard. I pressed my body further into him and his arms let loose. I booked it out side the door. There back yard was huge and they had neighbours about like 4 miles in each direction. No one would see him chasing me in my underwear.

He was caught off guard.

"Oh that is soo not fair"

"I play dirty, get used to it" I ran into the tree's.

He came running right after me. He was starting to run faster so this was getting harder.

I lost him. So I was hiding behind a really big pine tree when he just popped out of nowhere and knocked me done, with him falling on top of me.

"ow" That hurt the ribs

"I play dirty too" He had my hands held in both his, he had me pinned down. But I still had a few tricks left.

He moved towards me. His lips went for my neck. He kissed my neck and nibbled on my throat. He Intertwined our hands. He let up on the presser so I could move. That was his first mistake. I was enjoying this but the game wasn't over yet. I pushed up on him and flipped us so I was on top. He let out a breath as I sat on his lap. He was still going at my neck when he started to move to my face. He went from my cheek to my eyes to my nose to my lips, he stayed there. I was thinking about ending the game then but I mean that would be no fun. After a few more seconds I had my feet on the ground and ran a few feet away leaving him stunned.

"This game still isn't over." I was having a lot of fun with him, but I knew he enjoyed it.

After I had almost found a good hiding place behind some bushes. He ran out from behind a tree. What was he, war rider? I made a run for the house. Kay so maybe my feet had got a little wet outside so when I hit the wood flooring inside the house well I slid right onto my back.

Yah deserved that, karmas a bitch.

He came walking in he heard me fall. He was laughing at me. He was in front of my feet.

"So not funny."

After his laughing fit he held out his hand to help me up, or so I thought.

Well he was helping me up but well it was a bit to up for me. He took both my hands and flipped me over his shoulder.

So should of seen that coming

"ohfe" Well at least I had a nice view of his ass. I smiled to myself

"I won" He was so proud of himself.

He was walking up the stairs with me. Gezz I wander what's gonna happen?

Gawd am I. . . .well I will find out I guess.

CHAPTER 3

As we reached The last stair at the top. I was pretty much a rag doll. My hands were under my chin with resting my elbows on his back. I don't know if I was hurting him but he would deal with it. He took me into his room. And put me down on his bed.

"what's my prize?" He was playing with me

I was a bit distracted I mean he was ravishing my neck and collarbone again.

"wh-what prize?" I managed to speak.

"Do I get a Prize for winning the game?" He moved onto the bed over me not stopping with the kissing of my collarbone.

It took me a while to think about it. "yes."

"what is it then?" He so already knew.

"Me." He smiled into a kiss with my lips. It wasn't a romantic kiss either. It was a rough kiss. He was pressing his body Against mine. One of his hands was around my back

And the other was grabbing my ass. My hands was feeling his stomach and the other was at his shoulder, while I had my legs wrapped around his hips. He then lifted me up so he was sitting on his butt. The hand around my back was under my shirt on my lower back. He lifted my shirt over my head with one hand Letting my hair fall down my back. My hair was long enough to reach just 2 inches below my bra which he was playing with. He knew what he was doing, I didn't need to help him. He got if off with his first try. I was impressed, I mean I can't eve do that. That came off quick and easy. I'm just happy that he wasn't the guys who had to feel me up. It hurt sometimes. But before he got to into it he new I was gonna ask sooner no later. He laid me back down and reached for his desk beside his bed and opened a drawer and took out a condom.

He went back to kissing me when I helped him get his boxers off after he got mine off.

With out even breaking our kiss. When He Pushed in though I broke the kiss. He waited a second and then made a steady pace to begin with. I had my hands around his back and I was biting his shoulder. I don't think he minded I mean when I bit him he went faster. He was going deep. I think I might of cut his back with my finger nails though.

His hold on me was tight. Not hurting though, which was good. The longer we went the tighter his arms got. But I didn't care, I was just a bit distracted.

When we were done. He didn't want to put all his weight on me so he rolled us over and let me lay on him. We were both breathing Pretty hard. He set his cell phone to let us sleep for an hour. Lizzy was gonna get home in 3 hours and we had to have showers. Justin let me fall asleep on him. I woke up first, I was resting on my arms. I moved to rest my chin on my wrist to watch him sleep. He wasn't very happy though he had a frown on his face. I was wondering If I should poke his face. Instead I thought better of it and just waited the few minutes till the cell would go off.

I watched him open his eyes to his ringing phone. As soon as he looked at me he smiled. I was nice to know that I made him happy. He gave me a hug with his arms and a kiss to my forehead.

"How'd you sleep." He asked.

"Nice" I put my cheek to his chest. It was warm.

I got up to take a shower when I went into the bathroom through the door connected to his room and came back with a second towel and through it at him.

"You going to join me?" I smiled at him. He got up at fallowed me in to the nice warm shower.

………………………………

………………………………

………………………………

After our shower and he cleaned his bed and stuff a little I went and put some clothes on. Came back with a teddy bear shorts on. I was totally mocking him. With A muscle shirt on, I had found on his floor. And my own favourite pair of boxers on. He came out with sweat pants on. He had them pretty low too. I had to ogle at his lines, He was doing it on purpose. When he saw the bears on my shorts he just had that smile again and ran up to me and started to tickle me. When my stomach growled. Then I had just realized that Neither of us had anything to eat yet. He picked me up and carried me like a baby down to the kitchen where he set me down on the counter. He got Some cereal bowl's down for us.

"What kind?" He was weighing two boxes in each hand.

I pointed to the whole grain one. I try to be healthy when I can. He gave me half a bowl and he had a full bowl. Poured the milk and we were set. After what seem not that long Liz Walked into the house to find me Making out with her brother.

"Eww, Common please do that behind closed doors." She was happy we made-up, you could tell.

"The door was closed, until you opened it." Justin was being smart again.

I was just giggling.

She walked past our show and went upstairs to take a shower.

Well at least the shower was clean.

CHAPTER 4

When Monday came, I was just a bit confused.

Justin and me didn't have a conversation saying what we were. I was just going to leave him alone until he found me. I wasn't going to bug him about it.

Half way through Monday I was getting paranoid, not about Justin. Some girls were pointing and then whispering to each other. I Finally asked one of my friends if they knew why.

" Well um. . . . . . . . .Eric There just jealous I guess."

"About what?" I was so confused

". . . .It's going around that your having sex with Justin"

"What" How did they know, Sissy would never tell.

"Calm down, . . . . .is it true?" You could see other people around were trying to listen.

"What the shit you two, are you serious" Justin wouldn't tell would he?

I went off looking for him, Katie and Sabrina were running after me trying to keep up.

I was severely pissed off. Why would he tell people, it was private.

I found him hanging out with his usual friends out front. He was about to start to wave when he saw my face and his smile turned upside down. He could tell I was pissed.

I grabbed his hand and turned it back in an odd way while pulling him away from his friends.

"ow ow ow" I let go of his hand. "What did I do?"

"Did you tell people about this weekend?"

"NO" He was lying.

"Yes you did, Everybody knows. WHO DID YOU TELL?"

"I only told one person, Chad. He's my best friend. He didn't tell anybody."

"Then how does everybody know?"

"I don't know?" He wasn't telling me something.

"If you don't Wanna tell me then Forget about it.

People don't lie to me, your going to regret not telling me." I was warning him.

"honest." Liar

I walked off with him so confused. I already had an idea on how to get him back. People don't lie to me and if they do they will regret it.

As I walked back to the door for school I passed by Bret and gave him a wink.

His face went a little red. Katie and Sabrina fallowed giggling while I was figuring out my plan.

Next block I had with Lizzy, She was worried she said she talked to Justin and that he wasn't lying, and that she was worried about what I said about the regret part. She knew what I do when someone lies to me. She was worried and thought I was wrong. I knew I was right and he was going to feel bad he told whoever told everybody.

I had my plan already worked out.

Step one - Make Justin Jealous by flirting with Bret in front of him

Step two - Get with Bret Make him think I like him

Step three - make Bret thinks he has me.

Step four - get Justin to realize what he did and admit it.

Step five - Get josh back And leave Bret

Liz was just upset that the person I was messing with was her brother. If it was anybody else she wouldn't care. But I didn't care.

CHAPTER 5

Well my first step was totally working, josh walked away a few times.

I walked by Justin's group with Bret beside me. Me and Bret were talking about what we were gonna do this weekend. I wasn't going to do what He wanted to do but I could tease him all I wanted. We were planning on just driving around town. And going to the beach party on Saturday. Justin was going to be there. I got distracted from josh staring at me from what Bret was saying.

"So what time should I pick you up?" He asked

"mmm Well the party starts at 4 so 3:30?" I was giving him an option.

"Sure okay. You Wanna hang after school?"

"Cant sorry parents said I had to clean the house when I get home." lie

"oh well would you like me to drive you home so I can know where you live?"

"Sure" Justin was listening.

The bell rang and I went off to my locker with Bret. After third block Katie and Sabrina were in my last block and were talking to me about the beach party.

"So are you going?" Sabrina asked me.

"Yah, you two going?"

"oh yeah we got my sister to bootleg for us. We gave her 200 dollars for booze."

"Oh well you better give me some of that" I was gonna get so smashed.

"Only if you tell us what's going on with that Bret guy, Cause we thought you hated him."

"I do hate him, but you know me and you know what I do to people who lie to me and be mean and just are distrustful to me."

"mm well be careful Bret is a mean person to mess with." They were worried, that's sweet.

"I know what I'm doing. So you going to give me some or not. If you do I'll get you both something niceee?"

"REEEALLY? Oh we love you Eric." they both said it at the same time.

"yah, and of course some for myself." They loved me and how I always had un unlimited stash of weed.

They gave me a hug and we finished our last lap around the track.

Liz Ran Past us and gave me a nasty look. She always hated how I did drugs.

Whatever-she drank, just as bad. But my plan will be better when she isn't going to be there giving me glares and stares that made me feel guilty.

After school I met Bret at my locker and we hung out till all our friends had left. We went to his Truck. It was a nice truck, Like this year new kind of truck. I like old trucks.

Honestly he was so proud of his truck, it was annoying. Well after we were in front of my house I was about to get out but he grabbed my arm and turned me back and kissed me.

MM well this was an unexpected plus, Step three was almost complete. Tomorrow at the beach I was going to be all over him, making Justin jealous. I wont take it too too far though it's not like I'm going have sex with him, ew that would be gross.

CHAPTER 6

Well my mom thought I was going out all day with some friends and spending the night at there house. You know harmless stuff. No, not really.

Well Bret showed up like 2 minutes early. And I grabbed my back pack with the stuff in it, and ran outside with my exposing black bikini and a mini shirt with a jacket in my bag for later tonight.

The hole ride there he had his arm around me and me pull up to his side. When we got there the party had almost gotten to its full. Well me Katie and Sabrina went off to the forest as soon as they saw me. I yelled back at Bret that I'd see him later.

He seemed disappointed but I didn't care. Well kind of but he would have fun with out me. I'd pay him back. Katie had a few cases of my favourite cooler's.

All we did was finished off two joints each. I had a lot. And I had only had one of my cooler's. Well we were going to go swimming and I didn't want to drown. But OMG we were so ripped.

"So you going to have sex with Bret?" Sabrina was springing around.

"Ahaha That's funny. ew no."

"Well we heard that you were tonight." Katie was never hyper when she was high.

"well its not gonna happen." I gave her another one and she gave me the rest of her drink.

Sabrina was so dizzy she span into a tree, honestly it looks like fun but I couldn't help it she fell down and I was laughing pretty hard. I went over to help her up. She was all good just a scratch on her head. Nothing serious. I was usually clear headed when I was high when I wanted to be. But tonight I was not going to be. After Katie finished he last joint and she was with us. I still had at least five joints in my pocket. Well I still had a lot more weed in my bag, But nobody knew about that. Me and Katie and Sabrina came back onto the beach to find Bret. He could see Sabrina and me and Katie were pretty light at the moment. I just ran up to him and jumped. He caught me and gave me a big kiss. Sabrina and Katie were already in there bathing suits. So after I gently passed five joints into Bret's hand and told him to share with his friends. Me and them ran off to the water.

Bret's friends were consisting of Justin, Chad, Jeremy, Jacob, and A few other people I'ev seen around school and town. I think one of them was about 20 and a drug dealer. They were happy except for Justin of course, what a downer. Well whatever I hope he has fun with what I gave him.

The three of us were having so much fun. Like honestly we were hanging with the guys on the docks. It was a contest of who could each other off and stuff and we always lost except from when all three of us ganged up on this one guy. After he started to fall he grabbed Katie and Sabrina's arms. I was holding my stomach from laughing too hard. But then two guys from behind me picked me up and swung me like ten feet off the dock. It was incredible. This had been going on for like two hours. Sabrina and Katie were losing there edge. I wasn't. I went back to the shore looking for Bret. I found him By a bomb fire with his friends and some new ones. He saw me coming and grabbed my arm and pulled me over his shoulder.

"haaaiiiiiiiiiiii." This was fun. I could see Justin looking a little worried. I didn't even think about it.

"Common, Were going to have some alone time." He was walking off to one of the farther shores, that nobody really goes to.

I wonder what he thinks he's going to get.

"So where we going?" I was still a little up there.

"here." he set me down on some sand. Honestly I was confused, well anybody would be if they smoked as much as I did.

"I don't get it?" I started to spin around like Sabrina did earlier, even with the part where I tripped over a rock and fell down on my back. I started to giggle. Then Bret got on top of me. He started to kiss me. I didn't know where this was going but when he put his hand in my bikini bottom, that was it no way was I doing this, I wasn't going to go that far.

"Get off me." He wasn't listening to me.

I was trying to push him away this time. But he was twice my weight, he was a football player after all. No way was I going to get him off of me.

"GET OFF." FUCK I was going to scream if he didn't get off me soon.

I think I have finally gone too far. Is he going to rape me cause this is defiantly

not consensual.

He had my arms pinned down with one of his hands and his other one was exploring where he was not welcome.

"GEEET OFF OF ME NOW." I screamed that.

"No." That's all he said before he was roughly pulled off of me by a few guys.

"Heey, what the fuck. Get off me man." Bret was being pushed away from me, and out of my site. I was being pulled up to my feet by Justin. He put his arms around me. He was saying something about it being all right. It would only be alright if he forgave me.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't think. I was stupid. I'm sorry." I just kept repeating that.

He was walking me away from that beach to a further one with nobody on. There was a moon out it was so late.

After a while he wasn't holding me anymore he was just standing up beside me while I leaned against his leg. I was slowly falling asleep. I didn't care about me right now. I didn't care how I was getting home. But I was pretty sure Justin was going to not just leave me there. After a while once the moon was pretty high up in the sky and no clouds. I was asleep and Justin got me half awake to get me on his back so he could carry me.

He went back to the Main Beach and picked up my stuff and put me in the passenger seat of his car. I wasn't really awake but I could hear him close the door and go back to the beach. I don't know what he did but when he came back he had another bag and I'm pretty sure it was my weed. Oh well someone either Katie or Sabrina probably took it out of my bag. I didn't care I had more. I could feel him putting my seat belt on me. I moaned and turned over so I was on my hip, looking in his direction.

CHAPTER 7

I turned over, and realized that there was someone beside me. Whoever it was, was warm and probably not awake. I was barley awake but I moved my body up to his. He moved so his arm went around my back. I fell back to sleep. I woke again to him turning over and on to me. He was turning over in his sleep. I don't think he realized what he was doing. But when I made a noise as he almost put his hole weight on me. He almost instantly rolled over.

"oh sorry, are you alright?" He obviously knew where he was. Unlike me.

"Am I in your room?" His bed was comfortable.

"Ya-." He got cut off by me.

"OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG" I was just starting to remember everything from yesterday.

"What?" He was confused.

"OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THAT." I got up and went to the bathroom.

I went and checked myself out. In the mirror. You could see one hand print on my right hip. It obviously a hand print from Bret but last night I didn't know it hurt that much, I mean it was a bruise now. And there was bruising around my wrist and my face had smeared make-up on it a little. He walk into that bathroom as I was getting into the shower. I didn't care, I don't think he did either.

I was having a hard time washing my face, but eventually I got all the make-up off and I was extremely clean. I got out of the shower and went to just lye beside him on his bed. He was laying there on his back, Watching me come up to him in just a towel. I went to just sit on the edge of the bed. I was looking around his room for my bag. It was by his desk. I got my change of clothes. And just put on my Extra pair of underwear and shirt. I wasn't really in the mood to wear anything else.

"Do you forgive me for what I did to you." I really hoped he did.

"I don't know. . . ." I deserved that.

"I'm sorry for what I did, It wasn't very nice. But I'm like that but I shouldn't of been like that to you." I should thought of it twice. I probably would of still done it though.

"I know you sorry, But you were right. I didn't tell him but he heard me talking to Chad about it. I should of told you. I'm sorry." I didn't like how he said 'him'.

"Who is him?" Oh Gawd please no.

"Yah it was Bret who heard us. Sorry. He walked in on us." Oh well It was an accident.

"You could of told me." I might of still been mad but my anger would have been towards Bret.

"I know I could of told you but I was scared. I know you would of still been mad at me."

"Only a little, but I wouldn't of done what I did." I know that for sure.

"Well maybe not of with Bret but with someone else." . . . . . .

"probably not." He knew I probably would of.

We laid there for about an hour or so. Before he got up and went downstairs. I didn't know what he was doing but I didn't follow him.

"Aren't you hungry." I could hear him at the bottom of the stairs.

I got up and found a pair if his clean boxers. The ones with the bears on them. I had to laugh at myself, they were comfortable.

I walked downstairs and meet him in the kitchen I grabbed a apple from the fridge. I wasn't very hungry. I sat on top of the counter while Justin made some soup for himself.

"If you don't forgive me then that's alright with me." I wouldn't be alright with me.

He didn't say anything, WHY wasn't he saying anything? He hates me.

I start to get down off the counter. He pulls me into his arms like a baby.

"Of course I forgive you, it was mutual fault. We both did something wrong and we lied."

"Thank you." I put my arms around him while he just adjusted me so I wasn't touching the ground but so his arms were around me. While still holding me up.

"I love you." He whispered it into my ear.

I couldn't say it.

CHAPTER 8

It was Monday, me and sissy were hanging out at the rec. center. She was eating fries, I was stealing them. I was going over what happened on the weekend.

Justin was kind of awkward after he said that he loved me. I mean well he had good reason, he said it and I didn't. I wanted to but I couldn't. Not after what happened last time.

In my last relationship I went out with a boy for about a year and a half. He was the one I had sex with for the first time. He said he loved me and I believed him. I was so foolish. About 3 months after I had sex with him, I found out he was going out with another girl from a different high school. It hurt a lot. I don't regret what I did but still. I said I loved him, I said it to someone who I thought was special. I promised that I wouldn't say that unless I KNEW that they were special. I almost beat him up. Well not really I was crying, I slapped him and I kicked him in the balls. He was pissed. I was hurt. And I didn't know what to do. I don't really talk to him anymore but I don't want to. He hurt me and he still is. He's still going out with that other girl he was cheating on me with. There like getting married.

Liz knew what I didn't say to him, she knew everything. And she knew why. And she didn't say anything about it cause she couldn't do anything to make me. She knew I had to do it on my own.

Justin was around, He knew that I had a bad relationship but not the extent to it.

I didn't really want to tell him, But I don't know. didn't really know a lot of stuff these days. I didn't even know if we were going out or not.

Well it was probably going to happen this weekend. He said he was gonna pick me up on Friday and we were going to go camping up at that beach. My parents didn't mind, they didn't know I was going with Justin, well they did but they thought he was coming because he was going to be the adult for sissy and me. But Sissy wasn't coming, she knew about it though.

Through out the whole week I saw him. We hung out together at school sometimes. We never held hangs. But when we had to go to classes he would give me hugs goodbye. He kissed my forehead a few times. But nothing else.

By Friday things were getting a little better, to the public. But we weren't. things were getting awkward.

He dropped my off at my house, stayed outside while I went to get my stuff and put my school stuff away. I had a little truffle bag with me, nothing big. It was only like 2 and a half days.

When I was in the truck and buckled up and ready to go he took my hand in his and left it there, between us for the drive. Unless he needed it.

When we got there and he we set up the tent together. It was kind of quiet. It was a nice quiet. The smiles at each other the brushing against each other. While he was pumping up the air mattress. I grabbed a water from the cooler.

He was putting on a show of pumping up the air mattress. It was a tat bit funny.

"what are you doing?" I was trying to ask through my laughing.

He was pretending to be some kind of weight lifter. It was funny.

"how much you bench?" Sarcasm.

"like 500 hundred pound." Also sarcasm.

"Can you bench me?" More sarcasm.

"I bet I can." No sarcasm.

"oh really now?"

"Yes." He came over and picked me up, like a little girl. And was lifting me.

"eeeeeee." I started to laugh.

"Told chu." He held me up above him.

I wrapped my legs around his torso. "You were right."

He started to tickle me. He just loves to tickle me sometimes.

"you want to play that way do you?" I poured the rest of my water on his head.

He shock his head so that all the water would spray onto me. "HEEY."

"oh well u aren't wet enough." He was bringing me down to water.

There weren't many people there. There was a family or two, farther down the beach. But that was about it.

"Common no, please nuuuuuu." He walked onto a warfish thing. And dropped me in.

"it-t's c-co-col-d. He-l-lp." He reached his hand out to grab mine.

I pulled him in.

*Next day (Saturday)*

I wake up too a blinding light.

Stupid sun *go away sun*

I moaned and rolled over. But unfortunately I rolled OFF of the air mattress.

"oww, Stupid rock." I pulled a pillow off of my side and just put it over my head.

I didn't know if he was still on the air mattress or not. But I also didn't care at this very moment. This very moment I was caring about the screaming kids I could hear down by the beach.

I eventually got back onto the mattress and curled up into the blanket, and fell back to sleep.

I don't know if it had been minutes or a few hours but Justin came in and picked me up in the blanket. He carried me out to his lane chair and put me in his lap.

I was aware of what was happening but I just snuggled into him and embraced the moment.